-LAST WEEK: Eric Young wins the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.
-Hosts are Mike Tenay & Tazz
-The new champ opens the show with a victory speech. The TNA crowd even rips off a WWE crowd's chant. Young says he won the belt for himself, but will be a champion for the people. Young says things are going to change around here, and that he will defend the belt anywhere, anytime, and any way. Dixie comes out to claim credit for EY's title run, because she never fired him during his "Don't Fire Eric" phase, and says she somehow made it fashionable to wear beards on TV (while grabbing EY by his), and that everyone who does should pay her royalties. EY tries telling Dixie that she's not needed, but she responds that he will go with her where ever she takes TNA. They trade insults, and Dixie says she'll force a makeover on Young, and if he refuses, she'll start with ODB.
Young says he'll give Dixie one warning, and Bully Ray interrupts to run Dixie out, but first stops to put EY over as a role model for all the other wrestlers. Dixie scolds him for double-crossing her, and Bully responds by threatening to put her through a table. Dixie leaves, and Bully puts EY over some more, laying it on so thick I spend the whole time waiting for him to turn.
-Match 1: Velvet Sky (w/Angelina Love) VS Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne [Street Fight]
-Rayne surprises both of the BP by attacking from behind. She rolls Velvet into the ring, then gets caught coming in, allowing Velvet to take control. Rayne fires back, and Angelina pulls her BFF to the floor. Rayne tries to get them both, but it backfires, and Velvet goes to work with the COOKIE SHEET OF DEATH for two. Velvet throws Rayne to the floor, where Love adds some cheap shots before Velvet sends Rayne into the steps.
Back in, Rayne uses a trash can to turn the tide, and looks to finish, but Love interferes with a kendo stick shot to the back. Rayne takes care of her, and finishes with the WORST SPEAR EVER. Seriously, she barely grazed her with one hand.
* Mostly weapon shots before a badly-botched finish.
-EY thanks Bully for his kind words. Bully leaves to hit up a strip club, and the moment he leaves, Abyss enters to challenge EY to a title match. EY accepts, but makes it a Monster's Ball.
-EC3 & Spud have a talk. Spud cops to being afraid of Jeff Hardy, and EC3 talks him up.
-MVP congratulates EY, but he is still upset with Samoa Joe, both for calling out last week, and for not talking to him personally. Austin Aries enters, pissed that he hasn't been around since Lockdown. MVP reminds Aries that Aries screwed him over during the build to Lockdown. They get in each others faces and agree to a fight, but while MVP is ready to go now, Aries doesn't want to trade punches with a convicted felon, instead opting for a wrestling match...next week.
-A video on EY's title win features a voice over from him talking about how he was always seen as a comedy guy, and not a world title contender. Well, there's a reason for that.
-Match 2 for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: The BroMans [c] (w/Zema Ion) VS The Wolves
-Eddie almost pins Robbie seconds in, then Davey almost gets a pin off an inverted atomic drop/chop combo. The Wolves send the champs outside, and follow with stereo suicide dives. The Wolves both go up top, but Jesse shakes the ropes, and they both get crotched. Robbie pounds away, then he & Jesse hit a double knee to the face. Davey fights out of a chinlock, but then walks into a gorilla press slam from Jesse, as Tazz forgets which is which. Davey plays FIP for a little bit longer, but heel miscommunication allows the hot tag, and Eddie cleans house.
Eddie chops the shit out of Jesse's chest, then does the same to Robbie. The Wolves hit the Alarm Clock on Jesse, then a pair of double stomps on Robbie look to have the titles won, but Zema clocks Eddie with Zema's lap top to draw a DQ and save the titles.
** Better than last week. Definitely leading to a no-DQ match at Sacrifice.
-Jeff Hardy cuts another awful promo as Willow.
-LAST WEEK: EY gets emotional after winning the belt.
-Match 3: Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud VS Jeff Hardy/Willow [Handicap Match]
-Spud is still terrified, but does manage to provide a distraction, which allows EC3 to get some jobber offense in. Jeff comes back with his signature offense, and hits a splash for two. EC3 fights off the Twist of Fate, then Spud trips Jeff as Jeff goes to the top. EC3 hits a snap suplex for two. Spud gets in and talks some shit, but immediately tags out when Jeff grabs his leg. Jeff fights out of a chinlock and gets a rollup, but Spud kicks him in the face to break it up.
EC3 gets a takedown for two, then holds Jeff for slaps from Spud. Jeff fights back, and hits the Twist of Fate on Spud for the pin.
*1/2 Not much to this one. I generally hate it when the one beats the two, since it almost always happens, and this was no exception.
-EC3 goes to take Jeff out, but Kurt Angle makes his return to ensure that doesn't happen. Before the moment has time to settle in, we immediately go to commercial.
-Back from break, Angle promises to literally kill EC3.
-Bobby Roode talks about his tables match open challenge.
-A pretty nice video profiles Sanada. He face Tigre Uno in a 3 match series for the X-Division title, which would mean more if they weren't 2/3 of the whole division right now.
-Kenny King is here to talk shit about MVP and bitch about not being used recently. He's joining the announce team for the next match.
-Match 4-Match 2 of the Best-of-3 Series for the X-Division Championship: Sanada [c] VS Tigre Uno
-This isn't even announced as being part of the series by Christy Hemme. Sanada leads 1-0, so the finish probably won't be a big surprise. They feel each other out and hane a standoff after they both miss dropkicks. Sanada scores with a dropkick, but runs into a leg sweep. Sanada avoids (?) a slingshot dive, and hits a chop to the head. Uno counters a powerbomb into a rana ---> rollup for two, but Sanada comes back with a TKO for two.
Uno avoids a moonsault, and hits a sloppy capture suplex, but finishing with a twisting splash.
*3/4 So this is what the X-Division has been the last few years. A pretty steep decline from it's zenith. Way too much sloppiness for what was supposed to be a showcase match.
-Bully Ray tells someone to put Bobby Roode through a table.
-Match 5: Bobby Roode VS Gunner [Tables Match]
-Roode stomps Gunner down to start, but Gunner quickly comes back with punch-kick offense. Roode turns the tide via a neckbreaker, and gets a table from underneath the ring. Gunner cuts him off, then hits a running clothesline on the ramp. Gunner sends Roode into the steps, but Roode blocks a suplex attempt, and hits a dropkick. Gunner blocks a running powerslam, but Roode hits a blockbuster anyway in short order. Roode goes for a powerbomb through a table, but stops to mock Bully, and Gunner backdrops out of it.
Gunner hits a high knee, but stops to move the table, allowing Roode to catch him with a spinebuster. They block each others finishers, then Gunner hits a slingshot suplex. Gunner gets Roode on a tabel, but stops to bash his head on the turnbuckle. James Storm distracts Gunner, allowing Roode to slam Gunner onto the table, which partially breaks, but Gunner does not go through it, so Roode finishes with a DVD seconds later.
** This was alright, I guess. "Mr. Intensity" Gunner does not project that intensity at all through the TV screen.
-A few people share their thoughts on EY being the champ. Jeff proves he's nuts by declaring Young the best champ TNA has ever seen.
-EY knows he's nuts, but he's the champ.
-Bully tells Gunner to stop sulking about his loss, and proposes the two of them facing Beer Money next week.
-Match 6 for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Eric Young [c] VS Abyss [Monster's Ball]
-For those that don't know, Monster's Ball is basically name #243 for a hardcore match. Young immediately attacks with the COOKIE SHEET OF DEATH and a garbage can before hitting some corner punches. Abyss counters a whip, and flings Young to the outside. Abyss then counters a suicide dive with a garbage can to the head as we go to break.
Back from break, Abyss wedges a chair in the corner, and surprisingly actually manages to slingshot Young into it. Usually that backfires. Abyss spills some tacks into the ring, but then walks into a cheese grater to the nuts. Young hits a flying forearm and goes for a piledriver onto the tacks, but Abyss is too big, and he backdrops out of it.
Abyss grabs Janice (a spiked board) from underneath the ring, but EY naturally avoids it, and kicks Abyss in the nuts. EY grabs Janice, but walks into a chokeslam on the tacks for two. Abyss takes forever to get a barbed wire board from under the ring, but EY bites Abyss' hand to block a chokeslam, and dropkicks Abyss onto it before finishing with a top rope elbow.
**1/4 This was alright I guess, but it was all about weapons usage, without any kind of intensity that their relationship would require, so we get a fairly bland hardcore match that could have happened between any two guys that have no history at all.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: Well, they're going all-in with EY (for now), but with only one show between now and the PPV, they really only have one option for the main event on that show, and I still don't see EY leaving Sacrifice the champion. There was nothing too bad on this show (save Hardy's promo), but nothing really worth watching either. It's a milquetoast product with flat presentation, and it's been the case for a long time now.
TBHND
Well that's what I heard,,,
Friday, April 18, 2014
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Transcendence
What It's About: Johnny Depp is a brilliant doctor with a brilliant doctor wife and a brilliant doctor best friend, who have all made great strides in artificial intelligence. However, a needlessly-complicated plan hatched by an anti-technology terrorist group leads to Depp's death. Then bad decisions by wife & best friend lead to his consciousness being uploaded into a computer system, and increasingly-bad decisions by wife leads to him becoming the 2014 version of SkyNet.
WARNING: CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS
The thing that strikes me most about this movie is that it has no idea what it wants to be. Is it a warning against humanity's increasing reliance on technology? Is it a pod movie? Is it a tragic love story? It tries to be all three, and only succeeds in oddly going out of its way to be more illogical than even its premise would suggest.
The movie is one of those that opens in the same place it ends. It lets you know everything has gone to shit, and that humanity is living in a world like the TV show "Revolution" so the question becomes how exactly we got there.
The first problem is that the plot is made possible because the anti-technology group that plays a huge role in the movie does a perfectly planned attack on multiple fronts, but then decides that rather than kill Depp instantly, they'd rather he have an overly-elaborate, exotic, and drawn-out death. This conveniently gives wife & best friend time to recreate at least part of him into an advanced AI system that the three had created. This leads to problem two, in that a lot of things happen in this movie not out of logical advancement, but because the screenplay demands it in order to move the story along. Wife & best friend's plan to keep Depp "alive" works not through their efforts (which are contained in way too short of a period of time), but because it literally just does for no apparent reason.
Problem #3 is time. We are given time with two groups, and while we appear to spend days with one group, the other does things that would take years, far beyond even the five that the story gives itself to complete. Wife gives DeppNet enough power to do literally anything, since apparently being hooked into anything that's connected to the internet gives a machine the power to create structures from scratch, heal the sick and injured, and even at one point make it rain. A lot. DeppNet can do all this, but is still susceptible to things like wi-fi dead spots, viruses, and battery life limitations.
Then there's the ending. Oh man the ending. To top off its schizophrenic nature and complete inability to withstand even the slightest bit of logical thought, the movie throws in a Shyamalan-esque twist at the end. That also doesn't stand up to any scrutiny. So if you see it, you also have that to look forward to.
On the plus side, the acting performances are fine. The directing is decent, aside from the foreshadowing of the grand attack by the terrorist group, since we alerted ahead of time via shots of random objects and ominous music that some serious shit is about to go down. The pace is brisk, and it never feels slow during the near 2 hour run time. You might have a better time than I did if A.) you don't spend most of the movie trying to remember where you saw Depp's wife before (turns out for me it was "The Prestige") and B.) you don't think about what happens on screen. At all.
RATING: **1/2 out of 5. It tries to *ahem* transcend the sci-fi genre, but due to self-imposed issues, doesn't make it.
WARNING: CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS
The thing that strikes me most about this movie is that it has no idea what it wants to be. Is it a warning against humanity's increasing reliance on technology? Is it a pod movie? Is it a tragic love story? It tries to be all three, and only succeeds in oddly going out of its way to be more illogical than even its premise would suggest.
The movie is one of those that opens in the same place it ends. It lets you know everything has gone to shit, and that humanity is living in a world like the TV show "Revolution" so the question becomes how exactly we got there.
The first problem is that the plot is made possible because the anti-technology group that plays a huge role in the movie does a perfectly planned attack on multiple fronts, but then decides that rather than kill Depp instantly, they'd rather he have an overly-elaborate, exotic, and drawn-out death. This conveniently gives wife & best friend time to recreate at least part of him into an advanced AI system that the three had created. This leads to problem two, in that a lot of things happen in this movie not out of logical advancement, but because the screenplay demands it in order to move the story along. Wife & best friend's plan to keep Depp "alive" works not through their efforts (which are contained in way too short of a period of time), but because it literally just does for no apparent reason.
Problem #3 is time. We are given time with two groups, and while we appear to spend days with one group, the other does things that would take years, far beyond even the five that the story gives itself to complete. Wife gives DeppNet enough power to do literally anything, since apparently being hooked into anything that's connected to the internet gives a machine the power to create structures from scratch, heal the sick and injured, and even at one point make it rain. A lot. DeppNet can do all this, but is still susceptible to things like wi-fi dead spots, viruses, and battery life limitations.
Then there's the ending. Oh man the ending. To top off its schizophrenic nature and complete inability to withstand even the slightest bit of logical thought, the movie throws in a Shyamalan-esque twist at the end. That also doesn't stand up to any scrutiny. So if you see it, you also have that to look forward to.
On the plus side, the acting performances are fine. The directing is decent, aside from the foreshadowing of the grand attack by the terrorist group, since we alerted ahead of time via shots of random objects and ominous music that some serious shit is about to go down. The pace is brisk, and it never feels slow during the near 2 hour run time. You might have a better time than I did if A.) you don't spend most of the movie trying to remember where you saw Depp's wife before (turns out for me it was "The Prestige") and B.) you don't think about what happens on screen. At all.
RATING: **1/2 out of 5. It tries to *ahem* transcend the sci-fi genre, but due to self-imposed issues, doesn't make it.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Main Event 4/15/14
-From Nashville, TN
-Hosts are Byron Saxton & Tom Phillips
-Match 1: Los Matadores (w/El Torito) VS Drew McIntyre & Jinder Mahal
-3MB thinks El Torito is full of bull, and Mahal introduces 3MB's own mascot (thus making them 2 1/2 MB tonight since they are sans Slater): Hornswoggle. This would ostensibly be a heel turn for 'Swoggle, but A.) the announcers aren't treating it as such and B.) no one cares.
Mahal starts with Fernando, who hits a rana and tags Diego. Mahal gets a chinbreaker, then tags in McIntyre. Diego leg sweeps McIntyre, then lands on his feet on a backdrop attempt. OLE! is followed by a springboard cross-body for one. McIntyre blocks a headsiccors attempt by Diego, and Hornswoggle interferes, allowing McIntyre to hip toss Diego. A little person fight breaks out, and the ref throws the match out, to boos from the crowd.
NO RATING Since the "match" was apparently a set up for the mascot fight.
-3MB & Los Matadores try to separate their little buddies, only to all get kicked in the nuts for it. The little guys face off, which the crowd actually pops for. Torito wins the face off, and 3MB try to calm Hornswoggle down ("MY KIDS ARE GONE!"-McIntyre) as the crowd chants "Let Them Fight!". Torito wants to do a dive, but is stopped by Los Matadores. I'm sure this whole deal sounded HILARIOUS in the production meeting.
-LATER TONIGHT: Big Show VS Jack Swagger
-The Raw tribute to the Warrior will be shown again.
-Match 2: Sin Cara VS Bad News Barrett
-Good reaction for Barrett, who is sadly sans cape. Barrett has some bad news for Sin Cara: he's about the step in the ring with next Intercontinental Champion, and Scooby Doo cannot help him out, and even though this isn't a cartoon, Sin Cara is still a joke.
Barrett pounds away right off the bat, but ends up getting low-bridged, and Sin Cara hits a suicide dive. Back in, Barrett crotches Sin Cara on the top rope, and pounds on his back. Barrett adds a kick to the stomach for two, then some more punches and a kneedrop for one. Barrett hits a pumphandle drop for two, then tries to lead a "Bad News" chant, which is only mildly successfull. Sin Cara kicks at Barrett's hamstrings, before hitting a springboard cross-body, a flying headscissors, and a handspring elbow for two.
Sin Cara hits an enziguiri, but misses a splash off the top. Barrett hits the Winds of Change, and finishes with the Bull Hammer.
** Decent enough, but no heat to speak of.
-The tribute to the Warrior is next.
-BUY DANIEL BRYAN'S T-SHIRTS!
-The Warrior tribute is, as promised, shown again.
-WATCH TOTAL DIVAS!
-Match 3: Divas Battle Royal to Determine the #1 Contender
-No AJ Lee, oddly enough. She must be the only person not to have an automatic rematch clause in her contract. Some stuff happens. Layla & Natalya badly botch a springboard cross-body spot. The camera misses a big kick from Tamina on Nikki Bella. Alicia Fox does the splits in the corner and takes a kick...somewhere sensitive. It comes down to Tamina & Natalya, and Tamina wins in short order via a superkick.
* It was your usual Divas Battle Royal. I suspect AJ will order Tamina to hand over the title shot, and she will refuse to do so.
-It's official: John Cena VS Bray Wyatt in a cage match at Extreme Rules.
-RAW REBOUND: Evolution VS The Shield.
-Zeb Coulter thanks Cesaro for leaving the Real Americans, since it confirms what he says about "illegal" immigrants. Coulter predicts that Cesaro & Heyman will be a problem for each other, and he wants to be there when it happens. Zeb says Big Show is an illustration of American laziness, then says he doesn't "miss the Swiss". WE THE PEOPLE!
-Match 4: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter) VS Big Show
-Swagger runs into a kick to the chest that he sells by grabbing his nose. Show backs Swagger into the corner and chops him across the chest. That can't be fun to take. Swagger fires back and hits an avalanche, then avoids a boot to the face before taking Show down and working on his knee. Show uses his other leg to escape (which the camera misses), but Swagger hits a chop block, followed by two Swagger Bombs for two.
Swagger gets a leglock, but Show kicks him away to get out of it. Show tosses Swagger around, then remembers to sell the knee. Swagger counters a chokeslam into the Patriot Lock. Show looks like he passed out, but he revives, throws Swagger into the ropes, and catches him on the rebound with the WMD for the pin.
* This was a pretty bad performance by both guys. The finish was nice though.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was alright, I guess. Not much to say about it other than noting the couple instances of crappy directing, which is usually top-notch. Nothing too bad, but nothing particularly good this week.
-Hosts are Byron Saxton & Tom Phillips
-Match 1: Los Matadores (w/El Torito) VS Drew McIntyre & Jinder Mahal
-3MB thinks El Torito is full of bull, and Mahal introduces 3MB's own mascot (thus making them 2 1/2 MB tonight since they are sans Slater): Hornswoggle. This would ostensibly be a heel turn for 'Swoggle, but A.) the announcers aren't treating it as such and B.) no one cares.
Mahal starts with Fernando, who hits a rana and tags Diego. Mahal gets a chinbreaker, then tags in McIntyre. Diego leg sweeps McIntyre, then lands on his feet on a backdrop attempt. OLE! is followed by a springboard cross-body for one. McIntyre blocks a headsiccors attempt by Diego, and Hornswoggle interferes, allowing McIntyre to hip toss Diego. A little person fight breaks out, and the ref throws the match out, to boos from the crowd.
NO RATING Since the "match" was apparently a set up for the mascot fight.
-3MB & Los Matadores try to separate their little buddies, only to all get kicked in the nuts for it. The little guys face off, which the crowd actually pops for. Torito wins the face off, and 3MB try to calm Hornswoggle down ("MY KIDS ARE GONE!"-McIntyre) as the crowd chants "Let Them Fight!". Torito wants to do a dive, but is stopped by Los Matadores. I'm sure this whole deal sounded HILARIOUS in the production meeting.
-LATER TONIGHT: Big Show VS Jack Swagger
-The Raw tribute to the Warrior will be shown again.
-Match 2: Sin Cara VS Bad News Barrett
-Good reaction for Barrett, who is sadly sans cape. Barrett has some bad news for Sin Cara: he's about the step in the ring with next Intercontinental Champion, and Scooby Doo cannot help him out, and even though this isn't a cartoon, Sin Cara is still a joke.
Barrett pounds away right off the bat, but ends up getting low-bridged, and Sin Cara hits a suicide dive. Back in, Barrett crotches Sin Cara on the top rope, and pounds on his back. Barrett adds a kick to the stomach for two, then some more punches and a kneedrop for one. Barrett hits a pumphandle drop for two, then tries to lead a "Bad News" chant, which is only mildly successfull. Sin Cara kicks at Barrett's hamstrings, before hitting a springboard cross-body, a flying headscissors, and a handspring elbow for two.
Sin Cara hits an enziguiri, but misses a splash off the top. Barrett hits the Winds of Change, and finishes with the Bull Hammer.
** Decent enough, but no heat to speak of.
-The tribute to the Warrior is next.
-BUY DANIEL BRYAN'S T-SHIRTS!
-The Warrior tribute is, as promised, shown again.
-WATCH TOTAL DIVAS!
-Match 3: Divas Battle Royal to Determine the #1 Contender
-No AJ Lee, oddly enough. She must be the only person not to have an automatic rematch clause in her contract. Some stuff happens. Layla & Natalya badly botch a springboard cross-body spot. The camera misses a big kick from Tamina on Nikki Bella. Alicia Fox does the splits in the corner and takes a kick...somewhere sensitive. It comes down to Tamina & Natalya, and Tamina wins in short order via a superkick.
* It was your usual Divas Battle Royal. I suspect AJ will order Tamina to hand over the title shot, and she will refuse to do so.
-It's official: John Cena VS Bray Wyatt in a cage match at Extreme Rules.
-RAW REBOUND: Evolution VS The Shield.
-Zeb Coulter thanks Cesaro for leaving the Real Americans, since it confirms what he says about "illegal" immigrants. Coulter predicts that Cesaro & Heyman will be a problem for each other, and he wants to be there when it happens. Zeb says Big Show is an illustration of American laziness, then says he doesn't "miss the Swiss". WE THE PEOPLE!
-Match 4: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter) VS Big Show
-Swagger runs into a kick to the chest that he sells by grabbing his nose. Show backs Swagger into the corner and chops him across the chest. That can't be fun to take. Swagger fires back and hits an avalanche, then avoids a boot to the face before taking Show down and working on his knee. Show uses his other leg to escape (which the camera misses), but Swagger hits a chop block, followed by two Swagger Bombs for two.
Swagger gets a leglock, but Show kicks him away to get out of it. Show tosses Swagger around, then remembers to sell the knee. Swagger counters a chokeslam into the Patriot Lock. Show looks like he passed out, but he revives, throws Swagger into the ropes, and catches him on the rebound with the WMD for the pin.
* This was a pretty bad performance by both guys. The finish was nice though.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was alright, I guess. Not much to say about it other than noting the couple instances of crappy directing, which is usually top-notch. Nothing too bad, but nothing particularly good this week.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Raw is Warrior: 4/14/14
-From Birmingham, AL
-Hosts are Cole, King, & JBL
-The WWE roster, including Vince, stand on stage, most wearing Warrior t-shirts. Jerry Lawler introduces a pretty nice video tribute. After that, the bell is tolled ten times, and his music is played as the crowd cheers, then chants "Warrior".
-TONIGHT: Clips from Warrior's career, plus The Usos VS Orton & Batista, The Authority vow to strike back against The Shield, and the start of an 8 man tournament to determine the #1 contender to the Intercontinental title.
-Match 1-Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender's Tournament First Round: Alberto Del Rio VS RVD
-Poor ADR gets jobber intro'd. ADR goes on the attack, but RVD fires back with a monkey flip and a cross-body for two, before kicking ADR out of the ring. ADR comes back with a kick to the ribs, then absorbs some of RVD's trademark shitty punches (some which miss by a mile) before hitting a running enziguiri for two. ADR pulls RVD's head under the ropes, then kicks him in the head. RVD sends ADR outside, but misses a moonsault off the apron, and ADR catches RVD with a clothesline before sending him into the barricade as we go to break.
Back from break RVD gets a near-fall, but then walks into a kick to the ribs, and ADR follows up with a DDT for two. RVD botches landing on the turnbuckles off a slingshot, then badly misses a back kick, which kills an "RVD" chant. ADR gets his knees up on a split-legged moonsault, then follows up with a Backstabber for two. ADR goes up top, but gets caught with a heel kick on the way down. RVD takes a moment before going up top, allowing ADR to crotch him and hit another running enziguiri for two.
ADR loses his cool as RVD actually sells a move other than his own finisher. ADR goes for the cross-armbreaker, but RVD counters into a rollup for two. ADR goes up top, but RVD knocks him down, and finishes with the Five Star Frog Splash.
** Some of the ideas were fine, but RVD is getting pretty bad these days, and it dragged the match down quite a bit.
-LAST WEEK: The Shield keep Triple H from winning the world title.
-HHH shakes hands with Orton & Batista, then talks to them about something we can't hear.
-ULTIMATE MOMENT #1: Warrior squashes Honky Tonk Man to end his record IC title reign at SummerSlam '88.
-After a break, Triple H reveals that Daniel Bryan is not here tonight (on his honeymoon), and tells Batista & Orton that they have to take care of The Shield or else none of them are getting close to the WWE title. HHH says no one can stop The Shield, but Steph says she sees three guys that can, and HHH takes the bait. Batista & Orton only care about the title, and tell HHH he is on his own. They leave, and Stephanie has an idea.
-Match 2: Rybaxel VS The Brotherhood
-Axel starts with Goldust, who counters a leapfrog with an inverted atomic drop. Goldust slugs Axel down, then tags in Cody, who hits a front suplex. Cody gets a rollup for two, then prevents Axel from tagging before working on the arm and tagging Goldust back in. Goldust drops a knee, but only gets a one count. Goldust hits a kneeling uppercut on Axel, but stops to take care of an interfering Ryback, which allows Axel to clobber him from behind and take control before tagging in Ryback. The heels hit a back elbow/avalanche combo for two.
There's a small "Goldberg" chant as Ryback works Goldust over. Ryback tags Axel before hitting a splash, and Axel follows up with a sledge off the second rope for two. Back to Ryback, who kicks Goldust in the chest for two. Axel talks smack, and you can hear it because the crowd is silent. Goldust hits a back elbow as Cody tries, and fails miserably, to get the crowd into it. Cody gets the tag and cleans house, before trying a moonsault that Ryback fails to catch him on. Ryback takes a powder, and Cody follows with a dive that Ryback thankfully does catch him on.
Back in, Cody hits a springboard missile dropkick for two. Goldust goes after in interfering Axel, but gets knocked outside. Cody hits Axel with the Disaster Kick, but a second try on Ryback is countered with the Meathook Clothesline for the pin. Hey, remember when The Brotherhood were in a hot angle and beating The Shield?
**1/2 The match was good despite the botch by Ryback, but had no heat whatsoever.
-BOLIEVE
-Paige makes her entrance with Alicia Fox standing in the ring, then her winning the Divas title last week is shown again.
-Match 3: Alicia Fox VS Divas Champion Paige
-They have a shoving match, then Paige grabs Alicia by the hair and gives her a headbutt. Alicia comes back with a three nice backbreakers. Fox hits a Northern Lights suplex for two as a small "Let's Go Paige" chant comes and goes. Fox applies a chinlock, then yanks Paige down by her hair. Paige scores with a nice kick to the midsection, then a series of three short-arm clotheslines, followed by a dropkick and the Scorpion Crosslock for the submission.
** The match was alright, but I question the logic of having your new Divas star get beat down for most of the match against a jobber. That better not be the formula laid out for her, because it will get old fast, especially if it's against other jobbers.
-LAST WEEK: Batista & Orton destroy the Usos. The rematch is next.
-Match 4: WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos VS Randy Orton & Batista
-The Usos immediately hit stereo dives. Orton & one the Usos slug it out, then Orton hits the Orton Backbreaker (glad that move is back) before tagging Batista. The heels dominate one Uso, then Orton goes after the other until The Shield come out of nowhere and attack Orton.
1/2* Why does it have to be the tag champs being made to look like jokes?
-Reigns floors Batista with a Superman Punch, and Orton pulls Batista out of the ring so they can leave.
-WARRIOR MOMENT #2: Winning the WWF title at WrestleMania VI.
-Orton & Batista are walking backstage, where they run into HHH & Stephanie. Triple H gives them an "I told you so" look.
-Paul Heyman comes out to cheers until he mentions that he's the advocate for Brock Lesnar. Heyman gloats about Brock's win at WrestleMania before bringing out Cesaro, who still does not have entrance music.
-Match 5-Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender's Tournament First Round: Cesaro VS Mark Henry
-Cesaro tries to match strength with Henry and...it doesn't go well. Cesaro confers with Heyman, who tells him to go to Plan 2. Cesaro lands a bunch of uppercuts, but can't get Mark down. Henry shoves Cesaro down and hits a clothesline for two. Cesaro finally manages to knock Henry down with a flying uppercut, then finishes with the Neutralizer.
*3/4 Not much to this one, but the psychology was solid, and it was all about the finish. I predict Jack Swagger costs Cesaro his semi-final match against RVD.
-Brad Maddox (he's still the Raw GM in case you forgot) gets instructed by Triple H and Steph to find The Shield and tell them they're in the main event, but not who their opponents are.
-Lana now has her own entrance music. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! YOU WILL BUILD MONUMENTS IN HIS NAME! Awesome introduction.
-Match 6: Alexander Rusev (w/Lana) VS Xavier Woods (w/R-Truth)
-Yeah, this isn't going to go well for Woods. Rusev quickly kicks the crap out of Woods, hits a spinning front slam, and finishes with the camel clutch.
SQUASH When does he start getting "Goldberg" chants?
-R-Truth tries to help his buddy. Lana holds Rusev back until Truth turns his attention to Woods, then orders Rusev to attack, and he lays Truth out with a kick. Well there's his next step up the ladder.
-WARRIOR MOMENT #3: Beating Rick Rude in a Cage Match at SummerSlam '90. I'd say getting paid much more than Rude and making him do all the work is the bigger accomplishment.
-Match 7-Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender's Tournament First Round: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter) VS Sheamus
-Poor Sheamus. Was meant to be the next Cena, but it doesn't work out, then he gets injured, and comes back to get stuck in midcard purgatory. Swagger opens up with several knees to the gut, but misses a clothesline, and Sheamus slugs away. Sheamus hits a couple clotheslines, then sends Swagger outside. Swagger goes for the Irish Hand Granade (I will always use that name for that move), but Zeb provides a distraction, and Swagger catches a leaping Sheamus with a takedown to the floor, which ends up getting a two count. Swagger gets a short-arm clothesline for two, and pulls back on Sheamus' arms.
Sheamus fights out and hits the Irish Hand Grenade, then follows up with a flying shoulderblock for two. Sheamus tries a slingshot shoulderblock, but Swagger side steps it and applies the Patriot Lock. That was pretty slick. Sheamus escape, but Swagger plows over him, sending Sheamus through the ropes. Swagger follows, and sends Sheamus into the steps. Swagger rolls Sheamus back in then rushes to follow up, running right into a Brogue Kick for the pin.
*1/2 This wasn't particularly good. That one counter by Swagger was pretty neat though.
-Sheamus decides to wait until after hitting his finisher to sell the bad leg.
-Adam Rose is still partying.
-WARRIOR WEEK: A 4 part special presentation starts on the network today.
-Damien Sandow says he is deserving. Of what he doesn't get to explain, as Big Show comes out. Sandow says it doesn't matter who is coming out, because he is not finished, and will say what he has to say no matter what. Sandow says that when he comes out, the fans should be begging to touch him, because he has earned that. Sandow gets in Show's face, and gets KO'd for it. So there's a start of a series of matches that Sandow will lose all of.
-The Wyatts are...next.
-ON MAIN EVENT: Big Show VS Jack Swagger
-As promised, here comes the Wyatt Family. Clapping along to their music is now apparently a thing. Bray sees and hears the opposite of everyone else. You can call Wyatt whatever you want, but he has never lied to you, while Cena has made a career of lying. Wyatt says not to worry, because he will push Cena until he reveals the monster in him. Wyatt doesn't want to slay that monster, not yet, he just wants it to come out and play.
Here comes Cena to respond. Cena says the monster won't come out because he doesn't exist. Cena can't understand why The Wyatts are so serious, and he wants to have some fun with them. Cena interjects the always "funny" photoshopped pictures into this serious feud. Cole makes it worse by laughing. Wyatt rightfully no-sells all this and points out that whenever a serious threat gets in Cena's face, joking is his defense mechanism. Cena says he can be serious, and as Wyatt found out at WrestleMania, when Cena gets serious, Wyatt gets beat. Cena says the tables are now turned, and now Wyatt has to fight for everything, since he can talk, but not fight by himself. Cena looks to shows this again by challenging Bray to a cage match. Wyatt accepts, and says the world belongs to him.
-Match 8: Santino Marella & Emma VS Fandango & Layla
-An inset promo from Fandango shows that he considered his relationship with Summer Rae strictly professional, but he doesn't blame Summer for falling in love. The men start and Santino almost gets the Cobra right off the bat. Layla tags herself in to prevent that. Emma promptly gets her in the Dil-Emma. Santino cuts off an interfering Fandango, but that distracts Emma, allowing Layla to yank her off the turnbuckles and pin her. OK then.
1/2* Short and to the point.
-Stephanie gives Kane the business. She wants to know what happened to the old Kane. Isn't that a question that gets asked every couple years or so now? Kane glares at his mask as the crowd, oblivious to what this might mean for their hero Bryan, cheers for him to put it on. Kane grabs his mask and promises to send Bryan to the depths of hell. Good luck with that.
-BOLIEVE
-WARRIOR MOMENT #4: His speech from last week.
-Adam Rose wins an intense game of Hungry Hungry Hippos, then has to cheer up the bunny.
-Match 9-Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender's Tournament First Round: Dolph Ziggler VS Bad News Barrett
-JBL acts surprised that Barrett is coming out when the match has been hyped all night long via the tournament, including just before the last commercial break. They go to the mat right away. Barrett tries to get a "Bad News" chant started, then slugs Ziggler down. Barrett stomps away in the corner, then hits a suplex for one. Barrett misses a knee drop, and Ziggler gets a side headlock. Barrett escapes, then delivers a hard Irish Whip for two. Barrett uses the ropes to choke Ziggler, but gets caught with a nice dropkick. Ziggler follows up with a Cactus Clothesline to send both guys to the floor. Barrett alley-oops Ziggler into the post in a spot I don't think I've seen before as we go to break.
Back from break, Barrett works a chinlock. Ziggler gets out, and the crowd amuses themselves by chanting for Punk. Ziggler hits a cross-body followed by corner punches and a neckbreaker for two. Barrett avoids a famouser, and hits Wasteland for two. Ziggler slides out of a pumphandle slam, and gets the famouser for two. Barrett avoids a charge in the corner, but stops to taunt the crowd, and gets caught on the top rope. Barrett blocks a superplex (*sigh*), and dumps Ziggler, but Ziggler runs the ropes and hits an X-Factor off the top for two. The crowd turns and starts chanting "This is Awesome". Ziggler charges into the Winds of Change for two, and I love it when guys freak out after not getting the pin with a move they've never pinned anyone with.
Barrett goes for the Bull Hammer, but Ziggler counters into a schoolboy for two. Barrett tosses Ziggler into the air, then catches Ziggler as he gets back to his feet with the Bull Hammer for the pin.
*** Good match that got the crowd into it after losing them earlier. Nice to see Barrett getting a push, as I've always liked him.
-Barrett has some bad news: he is the next Intercontinental Champion. That's actually my prediction.
-Cole assures viewers that Bryan will be back next week before a video profile on Kane is played. Well that was put together quickly.
-ON SMACKDOWN: Sheamus VS Batista
-Match 10: The Shield VS ???
-ADR, Swagger, Fandango, 3MB, Titus O'Neill, Rybaxel, Rusev, & Barrett come out to make it 11-on-3. The Shield pull Slater into the ring, and work him over to start the match. Rollins hits a flying kick for two, as Barrett saves. Rollins gets caught in the heels' corner, despite Ambrose's attempt to prevent it. Titus gets in and tosses Rollins around before tagging in Rusev. Rusev drops some elbows and a headbutt before tagging in Swagger. Swagger drives some knees to the gut before tagging in Ryback.
Ryback hits a gorilla press into a powerslam before taunting Reigns & Ambrose. Ryback tosses Rollins outside and follows suit, but takes a spear from Reigns. The heels all jump Reigns, and the bell rings for some reason.
* More of an angle to set up what follows than an actual match.
-The heels swarm The Shield for a group beatdown. Evolution come out, to the old group music, but sans Flair to add to it. Triple H orders everyone out, and Evolution attack Rollins. Reigns tries to help, but takes an RKO for it, followed by a Batista Bomb. Rollins takes an RKO, then a Batista Bomb after Triple H & Orton cut Ambrose off. Ambrose gets a Batista Bomb/RKO combo to finish him off. Triple H tells Reigns to "believe in Evolution" before hitting him with a Pedigree to end the massacre. Evolution stand triumphant as the show ends.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: A good angle to close out a mediocre show. There was nothing particularly memorable for the first 98% of the show, and the crowd was dead for most of it. I can appreciate the IC title tournament to make it more important, especially with all the former world champions in it, but most of the matches weren't good. I am excited about the upcoming Shield VS Evolution war, but I'll believe War Games is coming when I see it officially announced.
On another note, I am getting REALLY annoyed with all the blocked superplex spots.
-Hosts are Cole, King, & JBL
-The WWE roster, including Vince, stand on stage, most wearing Warrior t-shirts. Jerry Lawler introduces a pretty nice video tribute. After that, the bell is tolled ten times, and his music is played as the crowd cheers, then chants "Warrior".
-TONIGHT: Clips from Warrior's career, plus The Usos VS Orton & Batista, The Authority vow to strike back against The Shield, and the start of an 8 man tournament to determine the #1 contender to the Intercontinental title.
-Match 1-Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender's Tournament First Round: Alberto Del Rio VS RVD
-Poor ADR gets jobber intro'd. ADR goes on the attack, but RVD fires back with a monkey flip and a cross-body for two, before kicking ADR out of the ring. ADR comes back with a kick to the ribs, then absorbs some of RVD's trademark shitty punches (some which miss by a mile) before hitting a running enziguiri for two. ADR pulls RVD's head under the ropes, then kicks him in the head. RVD sends ADR outside, but misses a moonsault off the apron, and ADR catches RVD with a clothesline before sending him into the barricade as we go to break.
Back from break RVD gets a near-fall, but then walks into a kick to the ribs, and ADR follows up with a DDT for two. RVD botches landing on the turnbuckles off a slingshot, then badly misses a back kick, which kills an "RVD" chant. ADR gets his knees up on a split-legged moonsault, then follows up with a Backstabber for two. ADR goes up top, but gets caught with a heel kick on the way down. RVD takes a moment before going up top, allowing ADR to crotch him and hit another running enziguiri for two.
ADR loses his cool as RVD actually sells a move other than his own finisher. ADR goes for the cross-armbreaker, but RVD counters into a rollup for two. ADR goes up top, but RVD knocks him down, and finishes with the Five Star Frog Splash.
** Some of the ideas were fine, but RVD is getting pretty bad these days, and it dragged the match down quite a bit.
-LAST WEEK: The Shield keep Triple H from winning the world title.
-HHH shakes hands with Orton & Batista, then talks to them about something we can't hear.
-ULTIMATE MOMENT #1: Warrior squashes Honky Tonk Man to end his record IC title reign at SummerSlam '88.
-After a break, Triple H reveals that Daniel Bryan is not here tonight (on his honeymoon), and tells Batista & Orton that they have to take care of The Shield or else none of them are getting close to the WWE title. HHH says no one can stop The Shield, but Steph says she sees three guys that can, and HHH takes the bait. Batista & Orton only care about the title, and tell HHH he is on his own. They leave, and Stephanie has an idea.
-Match 2: Rybaxel VS The Brotherhood
-Axel starts with Goldust, who counters a leapfrog with an inverted atomic drop. Goldust slugs Axel down, then tags in Cody, who hits a front suplex. Cody gets a rollup for two, then prevents Axel from tagging before working on the arm and tagging Goldust back in. Goldust drops a knee, but only gets a one count. Goldust hits a kneeling uppercut on Axel, but stops to take care of an interfering Ryback, which allows Axel to clobber him from behind and take control before tagging in Ryback. The heels hit a back elbow/avalanche combo for two.
There's a small "Goldberg" chant as Ryback works Goldust over. Ryback tags Axel before hitting a splash, and Axel follows up with a sledge off the second rope for two. Back to Ryback, who kicks Goldust in the chest for two. Axel talks smack, and you can hear it because the crowd is silent. Goldust hits a back elbow as Cody tries, and fails miserably, to get the crowd into it. Cody gets the tag and cleans house, before trying a moonsault that Ryback fails to catch him on. Ryback takes a powder, and Cody follows with a dive that Ryback thankfully does catch him on.
Back in, Cody hits a springboard missile dropkick for two. Goldust goes after in interfering Axel, but gets knocked outside. Cody hits Axel with the Disaster Kick, but a second try on Ryback is countered with the Meathook Clothesline for the pin. Hey, remember when The Brotherhood were in a hot angle and beating The Shield?
**1/2 The match was good despite the botch by Ryback, but had no heat whatsoever.
-BOLIEVE
-Paige makes her entrance with Alicia Fox standing in the ring, then her winning the Divas title last week is shown again.
-Match 3: Alicia Fox VS Divas Champion Paige
-They have a shoving match, then Paige grabs Alicia by the hair and gives her a headbutt. Alicia comes back with a three nice backbreakers. Fox hits a Northern Lights suplex for two as a small "Let's Go Paige" chant comes and goes. Fox applies a chinlock, then yanks Paige down by her hair. Paige scores with a nice kick to the midsection, then a series of three short-arm clotheslines, followed by a dropkick and the Scorpion Crosslock for the submission.
** The match was alright, but I question the logic of having your new Divas star get beat down for most of the match against a jobber. That better not be the formula laid out for her, because it will get old fast, especially if it's against other jobbers.
-LAST WEEK: Batista & Orton destroy the Usos. The rematch is next.
-Match 4: WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos VS Randy Orton & Batista
-The Usos immediately hit stereo dives. Orton & one the Usos slug it out, then Orton hits the Orton Backbreaker (glad that move is back) before tagging Batista. The heels dominate one Uso, then Orton goes after the other until The Shield come out of nowhere and attack Orton.
1/2* Why does it have to be the tag champs being made to look like jokes?
-Reigns floors Batista with a Superman Punch, and Orton pulls Batista out of the ring so they can leave.
-WARRIOR MOMENT #2: Winning the WWF title at WrestleMania VI.
-Orton & Batista are walking backstage, where they run into HHH & Stephanie. Triple H gives them an "I told you so" look.
-Paul Heyman comes out to cheers until he mentions that he's the advocate for Brock Lesnar. Heyman gloats about Brock's win at WrestleMania before bringing out Cesaro, who still does not have entrance music.
-Match 5-Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender's Tournament First Round: Cesaro VS Mark Henry
-Cesaro tries to match strength with Henry and...it doesn't go well. Cesaro confers with Heyman, who tells him to go to Plan 2. Cesaro lands a bunch of uppercuts, but can't get Mark down. Henry shoves Cesaro down and hits a clothesline for two. Cesaro finally manages to knock Henry down with a flying uppercut, then finishes with the Neutralizer.
*3/4 Not much to this one, but the psychology was solid, and it was all about the finish. I predict Jack Swagger costs Cesaro his semi-final match against RVD.
-Brad Maddox (he's still the Raw GM in case you forgot) gets instructed by Triple H and Steph to find The Shield and tell them they're in the main event, but not who their opponents are.
-Lana now has her own entrance music. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! YOU WILL BUILD MONUMENTS IN HIS NAME! Awesome introduction.
-Match 6: Alexander Rusev (w/Lana) VS Xavier Woods (w/R-Truth)
-Yeah, this isn't going to go well for Woods. Rusev quickly kicks the crap out of Woods, hits a spinning front slam, and finishes with the camel clutch.
SQUASH When does he start getting "Goldberg" chants?
-R-Truth tries to help his buddy. Lana holds Rusev back until Truth turns his attention to Woods, then orders Rusev to attack, and he lays Truth out with a kick. Well there's his next step up the ladder.
-WARRIOR MOMENT #3: Beating Rick Rude in a Cage Match at SummerSlam '90. I'd say getting paid much more than Rude and making him do all the work is the bigger accomplishment.
-Match 7-Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender's Tournament First Round: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter) VS Sheamus
-Poor Sheamus. Was meant to be the next Cena, but it doesn't work out, then he gets injured, and comes back to get stuck in midcard purgatory. Swagger opens up with several knees to the gut, but misses a clothesline, and Sheamus slugs away. Sheamus hits a couple clotheslines, then sends Swagger outside. Swagger goes for the Irish Hand Granade (I will always use that name for that move), but Zeb provides a distraction, and Swagger catches a leaping Sheamus with a takedown to the floor, which ends up getting a two count. Swagger gets a short-arm clothesline for two, and pulls back on Sheamus' arms.
Sheamus fights out and hits the Irish Hand Grenade, then follows up with a flying shoulderblock for two. Sheamus tries a slingshot shoulderblock, but Swagger side steps it and applies the Patriot Lock. That was pretty slick. Sheamus escape, but Swagger plows over him, sending Sheamus through the ropes. Swagger follows, and sends Sheamus into the steps. Swagger rolls Sheamus back in then rushes to follow up, running right into a Brogue Kick for the pin.
*1/2 This wasn't particularly good. That one counter by Swagger was pretty neat though.
-Sheamus decides to wait until after hitting his finisher to sell the bad leg.
-Adam Rose is still partying.
-WARRIOR WEEK: A 4 part special presentation starts on the network today.
-Damien Sandow says he is deserving. Of what he doesn't get to explain, as Big Show comes out. Sandow says it doesn't matter who is coming out, because he is not finished, and will say what he has to say no matter what. Sandow says that when he comes out, the fans should be begging to touch him, because he has earned that. Sandow gets in Show's face, and gets KO'd for it. So there's a start of a series of matches that Sandow will lose all of.
-The Wyatts are...next.
-ON MAIN EVENT: Big Show VS Jack Swagger
-As promised, here comes the Wyatt Family. Clapping along to their music is now apparently a thing. Bray sees and hears the opposite of everyone else. You can call Wyatt whatever you want, but he has never lied to you, while Cena has made a career of lying. Wyatt says not to worry, because he will push Cena until he reveals the monster in him. Wyatt doesn't want to slay that monster, not yet, he just wants it to come out and play.
Here comes Cena to respond. Cena says the monster won't come out because he doesn't exist. Cena can't understand why The Wyatts are so serious, and he wants to have some fun with them. Cena interjects the always "funny" photoshopped pictures into this serious feud. Cole makes it worse by laughing. Wyatt rightfully no-sells all this and points out that whenever a serious threat gets in Cena's face, joking is his defense mechanism. Cena says he can be serious, and as Wyatt found out at WrestleMania, when Cena gets serious, Wyatt gets beat. Cena says the tables are now turned, and now Wyatt has to fight for everything, since he can talk, but not fight by himself. Cena looks to shows this again by challenging Bray to a cage match. Wyatt accepts, and says the world belongs to him.
-Match 8: Santino Marella & Emma VS Fandango & Layla
-An inset promo from Fandango shows that he considered his relationship with Summer Rae strictly professional, but he doesn't blame Summer for falling in love. The men start and Santino almost gets the Cobra right off the bat. Layla tags herself in to prevent that. Emma promptly gets her in the Dil-Emma. Santino cuts off an interfering Fandango, but that distracts Emma, allowing Layla to yank her off the turnbuckles and pin her. OK then.
1/2* Short and to the point.
-Stephanie gives Kane the business. She wants to know what happened to the old Kane. Isn't that a question that gets asked every couple years or so now? Kane glares at his mask as the crowd, oblivious to what this might mean for their hero Bryan, cheers for him to put it on. Kane grabs his mask and promises to send Bryan to the depths of hell. Good luck with that.
-BOLIEVE
-WARRIOR MOMENT #4: His speech from last week.
-Adam Rose wins an intense game of Hungry Hungry Hippos, then has to cheer up the bunny.
-Match 9-Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender's Tournament First Round: Dolph Ziggler VS Bad News Barrett
-JBL acts surprised that Barrett is coming out when the match has been hyped all night long via the tournament, including just before the last commercial break. They go to the mat right away. Barrett tries to get a "Bad News" chant started, then slugs Ziggler down. Barrett stomps away in the corner, then hits a suplex for one. Barrett misses a knee drop, and Ziggler gets a side headlock. Barrett escapes, then delivers a hard Irish Whip for two. Barrett uses the ropes to choke Ziggler, but gets caught with a nice dropkick. Ziggler follows up with a Cactus Clothesline to send both guys to the floor. Barrett alley-oops Ziggler into the post in a spot I don't think I've seen before as we go to break.
Back from break, Barrett works a chinlock. Ziggler gets out, and the crowd amuses themselves by chanting for Punk. Ziggler hits a cross-body followed by corner punches and a neckbreaker for two. Barrett avoids a famouser, and hits Wasteland for two. Ziggler slides out of a pumphandle slam, and gets the famouser for two. Barrett avoids a charge in the corner, but stops to taunt the crowd, and gets caught on the top rope. Barrett blocks a superplex (*sigh*), and dumps Ziggler, but Ziggler runs the ropes and hits an X-Factor off the top for two. The crowd turns and starts chanting "This is Awesome". Ziggler charges into the Winds of Change for two, and I love it when guys freak out after not getting the pin with a move they've never pinned anyone with.
Barrett goes for the Bull Hammer, but Ziggler counters into a schoolboy for two. Barrett tosses Ziggler into the air, then catches Ziggler as he gets back to his feet with the Bull Hammer for the pin.
*** Good match that got the crowd into it after losing them earlier. Nice to see Barrett getting a push, as I've always liked him.
-Barrett has some bad news: he is the next Intercontinental Champion. That's actually my prediction.
-Cole assures viewers that Bryan will be back next week before a video profile on Kane is played. Well that was put together quickly.
-ON SMACKDOWN: Sheamus VS Batista
-Match 10: The Shield VS ???
-ADR, Swagger, Fandango, 3MB, Titus O'Neill, Rybaxel, Rusev, & Barrett come out to make it 11-on-3. The Shield pull Slater into the ring, and work him over to start the match. Rollins hits a flying kick for two, as Barrett saves. Rollins gets caught in the heels' corner, despite Ambrose's attempt to prevent it. Titus gets in and tosses Rollins around before tagging in Rusev. Rusev drops some elbows and a headbutt before tagging in Swagger. Swagger drives some knees to the gut before tagging in Ryback.
Ryback hits a gorilla press into a powerslam before taunting Reigns & Ambrose. Ryback tosses Rollins outside and follows suit, but takes a spear from Reigns. The heels all jump Reigns, and the bell rings for some reason.
* More of an angle to set up what follows than an actual match.
-The heels swarm The Shield for a group beatdown. Evolution come out, to the old group music, but sans Flair to add to it. Triple H orders everyone out, and Evolution attack Rollins. Reigns tries to help, but takes an RKO for it, followed by a Batista Bomb. Rollins takes an RKO, then a Batista Bomb after Triple H & Orton cut Ambrose off. Ambrose gets a Batista Bomb/RKO combo to finish him off. Triple H tells Reigns to "believe in Evolution" before hitting him with a Pedigree to end the massacre. Evolution stand triumphant as the show ends.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: A good angle to close out a mediocre show. There was nothing particularly memorable for the first 98% of the show, and the crowd was dead for most of it. I can appreciate the IC title tournament to make it more important, especially with all the former world champions in it, but most of the matches weren't good. I am excited about the upcoming Shield VS Evolution war, but I'll believe War Games is coming when I see it officially announced.
On another note, I am getting REALLY annoyed with all the blocked superplex spots.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Ring of Honor Wrestling (aired 4/12/14 here)
-This week's show features matches from Supercard of Honor VIII held the Friday before WrestleMania.
-Jay Lethal is tried of Tomasso Ciampa, and wants to take back what was his. Lethal actually gets really animated during this promo, which is quite unusual for him.
-They really need to update their intro video. Too many guys in there that haven't competed in RoH for months.
-Hosts are Kevin Kelly & Steve Corino
-Match 1: Silas Young VS RD Evans (w/Veda Scott & Ramon)
-A rare heel vs heel match, with part of the crowd clearly behind Young. I love the gag of them making up ridiculous numbers for the streak. For now, he's supposedly 82-0. They shake hands, and Silas immediately guts Evans in fireman's carry position. Evans escapes and hits a big boot, but gets driven back into the corner. Young goes for a suplex, bur Veda trips him, and Evans gets two. Young goes after Veda then Ramon, and Evans leaps off the apron with...something. Evans goes up top as Veda joins the commentary crew, and gets caught then tossed by Young. Young gets Evans into a seated position, then back kicks him in the chest for two. Young applies a bodyscissors as we go to break.
Back from break, Evans misses a splash off the top, and Young hits a backbreaker/lariat clothesline for two. The crowd chants "you can't beat him" at Young as Kelly & Corino start talking like the streak is a serious deal. They go onto the apron, where Young hits an electric chair drop. Evans barely makes it back into the ring at 19 (it's a 20 count on the floor in RoH). Evans surprises Young with a small package for two, but then gets punted in the head. Young looks to finish, but Veda distracts. Ramon tosses his belt in the ring and Young gets it, but Evans feigns getting hit. Young pleads his case to the ref, and gets schoolboyed for two.
Young accidentally KO's the ref, but gets caught with a neckbreaker for a visual pin. Young gets a Finlay Roll, then finishes with a headstand into an Arabian Press with a second ref counting. The original ref comes to, and DQ's Young for the hit that took him out.
**1/2 The match was alright, but I don't get the announcers taking the streak seriously, and wanting it to continue.
-Evans has a total babyface celebration. I don't get anything about his whole act right now.
-Truth Martini is still pissed about being fired by Matt Taven. Martini promises to unveil his newest client at Supercard of Honor VIII.
-My new BFF Taven comes out for a match with Martini's new guy, but Martini comes out alone, and says that everyone including Taven knows that Taven is nothing without Truth. Truth tries to read the final chapter of the Book of Truth, but Taven stops him. Taven holds it, but then the book bursts into flames, and Martini kicks Taven in the nuts. Ok then.
-Backstage, Taven looks for Truth, finding him in the men's room, but ends up getting blinded by Martini.
-A video shows Tomasso Ciampa defending the RoH TV title in other promotions.
-Nigel McGuinness takes Corino's place on commentary.
-Match 2 for the RoH Television Championship: Tomasso Ciampa [c] VS Jay Lethal [2/3 Falls]
-FIRST FALL: Ciampa, who injured his leg in a match against Lethal over a year ago, removes his knee brace and hands it to Lethal during their pre-match handshake. Slow start, then things pick up when they exchange rollups, and Lethal hits a hiptoss, but Ciampa rolls out of the way before Lethal can add the dropkick he usually follows up with. Ciampa avoids a springboard dropkick, but Lethal kicks out of a swing into the barricade, and hits a couple suicide dives. The crowd chants for a third dive, which Lethal delivers to knock Ciampa into the front row as we go to break.
Back from break, Ciampa steps out of the crowd and gets punched in the forehead. Ciampa manages to shove Lethal into the post, then the barricade. Ciampa exposes his knee, and hits a running strike to the seated Lethal. Ciampa tries for the pin after that, but can't get it. Ciampa adds some chops, but Lethal fires back with his hiptoss/low dropkick combo for two. Lethal slowly works Ciampa over, and hits an elbowdrop for two. Lethal gets an overhead wristlock, but Ciampa bites his hand to escape. Lethal hits an enziguiri, then they botch a Lethal Injection-countered-into-a-lung blower spot. They fight over a suplex, and end up spilling over the top to the floor.
They exchange strikes on the floor, and almost take a double count out. Ciampa blocks another try at the Lethal Injection and gets a roll up, but Lethal rolls through to counter and gets the pin to go up 1-0.
SECOND FALL: Ciampa kicks Lethal in the face and goes for a powerbomb, but Lethal counters into a rana---> roll up for two. Ciampa fires back with an exposed knee to Lethal's face which looks to be a KO, but Lethal kicks out at two, and we go to break.
Back from break, Ciampa blocks a superkick, but falls prey to the Lethal Combination and a Koji Clutch. Ciampa escapes and gets the Sicillian Stretch (Rings of Saturn), but Lethal gets to the ropes. They slowly exchange forearms, then Ciampa avoids yet another Lethal Injection, and Ciampa counters into a Diamond Cutter for two. Ciampa goes for a Kryptonite Crunch off the turnbuckles, but Lethal escapes, and hits Project Ciampa for two. Lethal takes too much time going for Hail to the King as the crowd chants for Randy Savage, and another attempt at the Lethal Injection leads to a ref bump. Ciampa gets some rolling German suplexes as some people in the crowd chant "Chris Benoit". Ugh. Should have stopped right there Ciampa.
Ciampa knocks Lethal for a flip with a huge clothesline, and Truth Martini comes out. Martini grabs Ciampa's knee brace and slides it to Lethal, who weakly hits Ciampa with it...for two. Lethal hits Hail to the King, and Ciampa immediately kicks out. Ciampa no-sells a couple superkick and flips Lethal off, so Lethal kicks the bad leg, and finally hits the Lethal Injection to win 2-0 and regain the title.
**1/2 The finishing stretch was good and the heel turn finally came for Lethal after about 18 months of teasing, but the match itself was pretty disappointing.
-Truth raises Lethal's hand to cement the alliance, then Lethal quotes "House of the Rising Son" and says the house in New Orleans is the House of Truth. Lethal adds a cheap shot to Ciampa before leaving.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This is what RoH is now for the most part. Solid, if unspectacular action. It's not bad per say, but if you're not already a fan, watching RoH now probably isn't going to turn you into one.
-Jay Lethal is tried of Tomasso Ciampa, and wants to take back what was his. Lethal actually gets really animated during this promo, which is quite unusual for him.
-They really need to update their intro video. Too many guys in there that haven't competed in RoH for months.
-Hosts are Kevin Kelly & Steve Corino
-Match 1: Silas Young VS RD Evans (w/Veda Scott & Ramon)
-A rare heel vs heel match, with part of the crowd clearly behind Young. I love the gag of them making up ridiculous numbers for the streak. For now, he's supposedly 82-0. They shake hands, and Silas immediately guts Evans in fireman's carry position. Evans escapes and hits a big boot, but gets driven back into the corner. Young goes for a suplex, bur Veda trips him, and Evans gets two. Young goes after Veda then Ramon, and Evans leaps off the apron with...something. Evans goes up top as Veda joins the commentary crew, and gets caught then tossed by Young. Young gets Evans into a seated position, then back kicks him in the chest for two. Young applies a bodyscissors as we go to break.
Back from break, Evans misses a splash off the top, and Young hits a backbreaker/lariat clothesline for two. The crowd chants "you can't beat him" at Young as Kelly & Corino start talking like the streak is a serious deal. They go onto the apron, where Young hits an electric chair drop. Evans barely makes it back into the ring at 19 (it's a 20 count on the floor in RoH). Evans surprises Young with a small package for two, but then gets punted in the head. Young looks to finish, but Veda distracts. Ramon tosses his belt in the ring and Young gets it, but Evans feigns getting hit. Young pleads his case to the ref, and gets schoolboyed for two.
Young accidentally KO's the ref, but gets caught with a neckbreaker for a visual pin. Young gets a Finlay Roll, then finishes with a headstand into an Arabian Press with a second ref counting. The original ref comes to, and DQ's Young for the hit that took him out.
**1/2 The match was alright, but I don't get the announcers taking the streak seriously, and wanting it to continue.
-Evans has a total babyface celebration. I don't get anything about his whole act right now.
-Truth Martini is still pissed about being fired by Matt Taven. Martini promises to unveil his newest client at Supercard of Honor VIII.
-My new BFF Taven comes out for a match with Martini's new guy, but Martini comes out alone, and says that everyone including Taven knows that Taven is nothing without Truth. Truth tries to read the final chapter of the Book of Truth, but Taven stops him. Taven holds it, but then the book bursts into flames, and Martini kicks Taven in the nuts. Ok then.
-Backstage, Taven looks for Truth, finding him in the men's room, but ends up getting blinded by Martini.
-A video shows Tomasso Ciampa defending the RoH TV title in other promotions.
-Nigel McGuinness takes Corino's place on commentary.
-Match 2 for the RoH Television Championship: Tomasso Ciampa [c] VS Jay Lethal [2/3 Falls]
-FIRST FALL: Ciampa, who injured his leg in a match against Lethal over a year ago, removes his knee brace and hands it to Lethal during their pre-match handshake. Slow start, then things pick up when they exchange rollups, and Lethal hits a hiptoss, but Ciampa rolls out of the way before Lethal can add the dropkick he usually follows up with. Ciampa avoids a springboard dropkick, but Lethal kicks out of a swing into the barricade, and hits a couple suicide dives. The crowd chants for a third dive, which Lethal delivers to knock Ciampa into the front row as we go to break.
Back from break, Ciampa steps out of the crowd and gets punched in the forehead. Ciampa manages to shove Lethal into the post, then the barricade. Ciampa exposes his knee, and hits a running strike to the seated Lethal. Ciampa tries for the pin after that, but can't get it. Ciampa adds some chops, but Lethal fires back with his hiptoss/low dropkick combo for two. Lethal slowly works Ciampa over, and hits an elbowdrop for two. Lethal gets an overhead wristlock, but Ciampa bites his hand to escape. Lethal hits an enziguiri, then they botch a Lethal Injection-countered-into-a-lung blower spot. They fight over a suplex, and end up spilling over the top to the floor.
They exchange strikes on the floor, and almost take a double count out. Ciampa blocks another try at the Lethal Injection and gets a roll up, but Lethal rolls through to counter and gets the pin to go up 1-0.
SECOND FALL: Ciampa kicks Lethal in the face and goes for a powerbomb, but Lethal counters into a rana---> roll up for two. Ciampa fires back with an exposed knee to Lethal's face which looks to be a KO, but Lethal kicks out at two, and we go to break.
Back from break, Ciampa blocks a superkick, but falls prey to the Lethal Combination and a Koji Clutch. Ciampa escapes and gets the Sicillian Stretch (Rings of Saturn), but Lethal gets to the ropes. They slowly exchange forearms, then Ciampa avoids yet another Lethal Injection, and Ciampa counters into a Diamond Cutter for two. Ciampa goes for a Kryptonite Crunch off the turnbuckles, but Lethal escapes, and hits Project Ciampa for two. Lethal takes too much time going for Hail to the King as the crowd chants for Randy Savage, and another attempt at the Lethal Injection leads to a ref bump. Ciampa gets some rolling German suplexes as some people in the crowd chant "Chris Benoit". Ugh. Should have stopped right there Ciampa.
Ciampa knocks Lethal for a flip with a huge clothesline, and Truth Martini comes out. Martini grabs Ciampa's knee brace and slides it to Lethal, who weakly hits Ciampa with it...for two. Lethal hits Hail to the King, and Ciampa immediately kicks out. Ciampa no-sells a couple superkick and flips Lethal off, so Lethal kicks the bad leg, and finally hits the Lethal Injection to win 2-0 and regain the title.
**1/2 The finishing stretch was good and the heel turn finally came for Lethal after about 18 months of teasing, but the match itself was pretty disappointing.
-Truth raises Lethal's hand to cement the alliance, then Lethal quotes "House of the Rising Son" and says the house in New Orleans is the House of Truth. Lethal adds a cheap shot to Ciampa before leaving.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This is what RoH is now for the most part. Solid, if unspectacular action. It's not bad per say, but if you're not already a fan, watching RoH now probably isn't going to turn you into one.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Smackdown 4/11/14
-The show opens with an "In Memory of WARRIOR" graphic and a voice over from Michael Cole stating that Raw will be a tribute show to him.
-From Lafayette, LA
-John Cena kicks us off and the sound sweetening is REALLY happy about that. He recaps WrestleMania and then Raw, saying it's an exciting time to be in WWE. Cena calls himself the "measuring stick" and that anyone who wants to be someone in WWE has to go through him. The Wyatts interrupt, with Harper stating that Cena has given the family more time to hurt him. Bray is next, and he's happy because he sees everything, including what is inside Cena. Bray is ready to go to new "extremes" to pull the monster out of Cena.
-TONIGHT: Daniel Bryan & The Usos VS Randy Orton, Batista, & Kane
-Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman) is heading towards the ring for his match with Big Show.
-The Streak is over, in case you didn't know.
-Match 1: Big Show VS Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman)
-No music for Cesaro, but he does get Heyman hyping him up during his entrance. Heyman says when you are the advocate for Brock Lesnar, your next client must be "a sure thing, the next big thing, the King of Swing". Cesaro and Show shake hands. Cesaro hits an uppercut, but in turn gets knocked through the ropes. Show hits an overhand chop, but Cesaro fires back and tries a suplex from the apron into the ring. Show blocks, so Cesaro tries a sunset bomb to the floor, which Show also blocks before sitting on Cesaro's chest. Show gets two off that and calls for the WMD, but Cesaro takes a powder, and confers with Heyman, who is sitting in on commentary. Heyman advises Cesaro to take Show's air as we go to break.
Back from break Cesaro is on Show's back hanging onto a sleeper. Cesaro apparently injured his leg on a backdrop during commercial. Show gets out of the sleeper, but misses an avalanche, and Cesaro reapplies it. Show looks almost out of it, but he manages to throw Cesaro off and start his comeback. He bowls Cesaro over and goes for a chokeslam, which Cesaro counters into another sleeper. Show escapes again and goes for a second rope elbow, but Cesaro moves. The crowd chants for the swing and Cesaro looks to ablige, but Jack Swagger runs in with an anklelock for a DQ.
** Psychologically sound, but not particularly exciting.
-Show takes Swagger out, and Cesaro shows his appreciation by attack Show, and hitting him with the Neutralizer. Should have saved that for the inevitable rematch.
-Hulk Hogan is here.
-BOLIEVE
-Match 2: Los Matadores (w/El Torito) VS Rybaxel
-Diego catches Ryback with a dropkick, but gets caught leaping off the second turnbuckle and muscled into a powerslam before Ryback tags Axel. Diego hits a nice punch to the face, but Axel comes back with a clothesline to the back of the head, followed by a running knee to the top of the head. Diego gets caught in Rybaxel's corner and double teamed, then Ryback gets two off that before slapping on a chinlock. Ryback tags Axel who allows the "hot" tag that the crowd couldn't care less about. Fernando does some stuff, ending with a hammerlock DDT on Axel. Ryback breaks up the pin and gets send outside. Torito tries a dive on Ryback but gets caught. Fernando saves him, but the distraction allows Axel to hit the Axel Neckbreaker for the first time since he lost the IC title and get the pin.
*1/2 I can appreciate the tag formula work, but this wasn't good, and the crowd wasn't into it at all.
-Rene Young welcomes RVD back, and RVD talks a bit about how everything has changed since he left again last October, but everything's still cool when you're RVD.
-Match 3: Damien Sandow VS RVD
-I don't see this going well for Sandow. RVD gets a quick schoolboy for two, then scores with a thrust kick. Sandow rolls RVD up while RVD plays to the crowd, but RVD quickly escapes, then hits another big kick followed by Rolling Thunder. RVD hits a low dropkick, but misses a moonsault off the apron. Sandow takes advantage by aggressively sending RVD into the barricade, and gets two off that. Sandow pounds away and goes for the chinlock, but hitting an exposed knee drop followed by the Elbow of Disdain for two. Sandow keeps the pressure on, but takes a couple more ig kicks to the face. RVD goes up top, but gets caught and crotched. RVD fights off a superplex attempt (getting really tired of seeing that after this week), and finishes with the Five Star Frog Splash.
**1/2 This was solid enough, but Sandow is in full-on jobber mode, and thus had zero chance against RVD.
-Hulk Hogan is next.
-Adam Rose's Exotic Express is still rolling along.
-Hulk Hogan comes out, and talks about getting chills seeing Daniel Bryan win the title at WrestleMania before introducing the man himself. There is no way Hogan knew who Bryan was a month ago. Bryan is happy to be back on Smackdown, getting married, main eventing WrestleMania, and sharing a ring with Hogan. Bryan talks about being a lifetime Hulkamaniac, and taking his advice, even if he didn't quite make it to having the 24' pythons. Bryan wants to top off his dream week, and asks for Hogan's music to be played, then joins him in doing the pose routine.
-BAD NEWS BARRETT is up next.
-Match 4: Kofi Kingston VS Bad News Barrett
-Barrett catches Kofi trying to prevent his delivering of some bad news, and slugs him down. Kofi comes back with a kick, then hits a springboard cross-body for two. Barrett tosses Kofi outside, but Kofi skins the cat. Kofi avoids the Bull Hammer, and hits a flying clothesline followed by the Boom Drop. Kofi looks to finish, but Barrett takes a powder. Back in Kofi blocks a kick and takes Barrett down, but the TiP is countered with the Bull Hammer, and Barrett wins.
-*1/2 Not much to this one. Slick finish though.
-Match 5: Santino Marella (w/Emma) VS Fandango (w/Layla)
-So Fandango has a new manager and his light silhouette back. Santino takes Fandango down, but Fandango fights out. Santino power walks away from a punch, but keeps walking right into a chop. Fandango hits another chop then avoids one from Santino. Santino fights back with a hiptoss and looks to finish, but Layla steals the Cobra, and Fandango wins it with a school boy.
1/2* Yup, that was a short TV match.
-JBL & Cole recap Paige's Divas title win. A short profile video of Paige follows, then a video showing Paige winning the title follows that.
-A video recaps the ending to RAW. I am quite pleased that The Shield are still together. The group promo from Main Event is then shown.
-Kane, Batista, & Randy Orton talk their match over, barely able to not fight each other over who gets to murder Daniel Bryan.
-Match 6: WWE World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan & WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos VS Randy Orton, Batista, & Kane
-Batista starts with one of the Usos, who lands several kicks and slaps on an armlock before tagging his brother. Batista catches that Uso (the injured one) with a spinebuster, then tags Orton, who stomps on the bad ribs before striking his pose. Orton pounds away, then tags Kane before adding a headbutt as we go to break.
Back from break, Kane and Batista work over the injured Uso, then it's Orton's turn, and he hits a decapitator for two. Uso tries to fight back, but Orton drops him ribs-first on the ropes for two, then squeezes on the bad ribs. Uso fights out of that, but runs right into a dropkick. Kane comes in, and hits a sidewalk slam for two before applying a rear bearhug. Orton comes back in and hits a snap powerslam, but stops to cheapshot the other Uso, distracting himself and allowing the legal Uso to hit a Samoan Drop.
Orton tags Kane, who takes an enziguiri to the shoulder and allows the hot tag to Bryan. Bryan flies in with a missile dropkick, then knocks Batista off the apron before going to work on Kane. Bryan hits a flying clothesline, followed by some Yes Kicks. Kane ducks the buzzsaw kick, but Bryan then low-bridges him, and follows with a suicide dive. Orton & Batista go after Bryan, but the Usos dive over the top onto them to break that up, and everyone brawls outside for a double count-out.
*** Solid enough tag formula match, but in a world where The Shield are setting new standards almost every time, this will be forgotten by Monday, especially with the non-finish.
-Orton & Batista destroy the Usos in the ring, while Kane sets Bryan up for a chokeslam through the announce table. The Shield make the save, then chase Orton & Batista away. Kane tries to sneak attack them with a chair, but Bryan cuts that off with a running knee, and The Shield, at the behest of Bryan, give Kane a triple powerbomb. A stare down closes the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was pretty much an extension of RAW, with nothing really standing out or on its own. Anything important that happened here will be shown again on Raw, so if you're a Smackdown non-viewer, you didn't miss much this week.
-From Lafayette, LA
-John Cena kicks us off and the sound sweetening is REALLY happy about that. He recaps WrestleMania and then Raw, saying it's an exciting time to be in WWE. Cena calls himself the "measuring stick" and that anyone who wants to be someone in WWE has to go through him. The Wyatts interrupt, with Harper stating that Cena has given the family more time to hurt him. Bray is next, and he's happy because he sees everything, including what is inside Cena. Bray is ready to go to new "extremes" to pull the monster out of Cena.
-TONIGHT: Daniel Bryan & The Usos VS Randy Orton, Batista, & Kane
-Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman) is heading towards the ring for his match with Big Show.
-The Streak is over, in case you didn't know.
-Match 1: Big Show VS Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman)
-No music for Cesaro, but he does get Heyman hyping him up during his entrance. Heyman says when you are the advocate for Brock Lesnar, your next client must be "a sure thing, the next big thing, the King of Swing". Cesaro and Show shake hands. Cesaro hits an uppercut, but in turn gets knocked through the ropes. Show hits an overhand chop, but Cesaro fires back and tries a suplex from the apron into the ring. Show blocks, so Cesaro tries a sunset bomb to the floor, which Show also blocks before sitting on Cesaro's chest. Show gets two off that and calls for the WMD, but Cesaro takes a powder, and confers with Heyman, who is sitting in on commentary. Heyman advises Cesaro to take Show's air as we go to break.
Back from break Cesaro is on Show's back hanging onto a sleeper. Cesaro apparently injured his leg on a backdrop during commercial. Show gets out of the sleeper, but misses an avalanche, and Cesaro reapplies it. Show looks almost out of it, but he manages to throw Cesaro off and start his comeback. He bowls Cesaro over and goes for a chokeslam, which Cesaro counters into another sleeper. Show escapes again and goes for a second rope elbow, but Cesaro moves. The crowd chants for the swing and Cesaro looks to ablige, but Jack Swagger runs in with an anklelock for a DQ.
** Psychologically sound, but not particularly exciting.
-Show takes Swagger out, and Cesaro shows his appreciation by attack Show, and hitting him with the Neutralizer. Should have saved that for the inevitable rematch.
-Hulk Hogan is here.
-BOLIEVE
-Match 2: Los Matadores (w/El Torito) VS Rybaxel
-Diego catches Ryback with a dropkick, but gets caught leaping off the second turnbuckle and muscled into a powerslam before Ryback tags Axel. Diego hits a nice punch to the face, but Axel comes back with a clothesline to the back of the head, followed by a running knee to the top of the head. Diego gets caught in Rybaxel's corner and double teamed, then Ryback gets two off that before slapping on a chinlock. Ryback tags Axel who allows the "hot" tag that the crowd couldn't care less about. Fernando does some stuff, ending with a hammerlock DDT on Axel. Ryback breaks up the pin and gets send outside. Torito tries a dive on Ryback but gets caught. Fernando saves him, but the distraction allows Axel to hit the Axel Neckbreaker for the first time since he lost the IC title and get the pin.
*1/2 I can appreciate the tag formula work, but this wasn't good, and the crowd wasn't into it at all.
-Rene Young welcomes RVD back, and RVD talks a bit about how everything has changed since he left again last October, but everything's still cool when you're RVD.
-Match 3: Damien Sandow VS RVD
-I don't see this going well for Sandow. RVD gets a quick schoolboy for two, then scores with a thrust kick. Sandow rolls RVD up while RVD plays to the crowd, but RVD quickly escapes, then hits another big kick followed by Rolling Thunder. RVD hits a low dropkick, but misses a moonsault off the apron. Sandow takes advantage by aggressively sending RVD into the barricade, and gets two off that. Sandow pounds away and goes for the chinlock, but hitting an exposed knee drop followed by the Elbow of Disdain for two. Sandow keeps the pressure on, but takes a couple more ig kicks to the face. RVD goes up top, but gets caught and crotched. RVD fights off a superplex attempt (getting really tired of seeing that after this week), and finishes with the Five Star Frog Splash.
**1/2 This was solid enough, but Sandow is in full-on jobber mode, and thus had zero chance against RVD.
-Hulk Hogan is next.
-Adam Rose's Exotic Express is still rolling along.
-Hulk Hogan comes out, and talks about getting chills seeing Daniel Bryan win the title at WrestleMania before introducing the man himself. There is no way Hogan knew who Bryan was a month ago. Bryan is happy to be back on Smackdown, getting married, main eventing WrestleMania, and sharing a ring with Hogan. Bryan talks about being a lifetime Hulkamaniac, and taking his advice, even if he didn't quite make it to having the 24' pythons. Bryan wants to top off his dream week, and asks for Hogan's music to be played, then joins him in doing the pose routine.
-BAD NEWS BARRETT is up next.
-Match 4: Kofi Kingston VS Bad News Barrett
-Barrett catches Kofi trying to prevent his delivering of some bad news, and slugs him down. Kofi comes back with a kick, then hits a springboard cross-body for two. Barrett tosses Kofi outside, but Kofi skins the cat. Kofi avoids the Bull Hammer, and hits a flying clothesline followed by the Boom Drop. Kofi looks to finish, but Barrett takes a powder. Back in Kofi blocks a kick and takes Barrett down, but the TiP is countered with the Bull Hammer, and Barrett wins.
-*1/2 Not much to this one. Slick finish though.
-Match 5: Santino Marella (w/Emma) VS Fandango (w/Layla)
-So Fandango has a new manager and his light silhouette back. Santino takes Fandango down, but Fandango fights out. Santino power walks away from a punch, but keeps walking right into a chop. Fandango hits another chop then avoids one from Santino. Santino fights back with a hiptoss and looks to finish, but Layla steals the Cobra, and Fandango wins it with a school boy.
1/2* Yup, that was a short TV match.
-JBL & Cole recap Paige's Divas title win. A short profile video of Paige follows, then a video showing Paige winning the title follows that.
-A video recaps the ending to RAW. I am quite pleased that The Shield are still together. The group promo from Main Event is then shown.
-Kane, Batista, & Randy Orton talk their match over, barely able to not fight each other over who gets to murder Daniel Bryan.
-Match 6: WWE World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan & WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos VS Randy Orton, Batista, & Kane
-Batista starts with one of the Usos, who lands several kicks and slaps on an armlock before tagging his brother. Batista catches that Uso (the injured one) with a spinebuster, then tags Orton, who stomps on the bad ribs before striking his pose. Orton pounds away, then tags Kane before adding a headbutt as we go to break.
Back from break, Kane and Batista work over the injured Uso, then it's Orton's turn, and he hits a decapitator for two. Uso tries to fight back, but Orton drops him ribs-first on the ropes for two, then squeezes on the bad ribs. Uso fights out of that, but runs right into a dropkick. Kane comes in, and hits a sidewalk slam for two before applying a rear bearhug. Orton comes back in and hits a snap powerslam, but stops to cheapshot the other Uso, distracting himself and allowing the legal Uso to hit a Samoan Drop.
Orton tags Kane, who takes an enziguiri to the shoulder and allows the hot tag to Bryan. Bryan flies in with a missile dropkick, then knocks Batista off the apron before going to work on Kane. Bryan hits a flying clothesline, followed by some Yes Kicks. Kane ducks the buzzsaw kick, but Bryan then low-bridges him, and follows with a suicide dive. Orton & Batista go after Bryan, but the Usos dive over the top onto them to break that up, and everyone brawls outside for a double count-out.
*** Solid enough tag formula match, but in a world where The Shield are setting new standards almost every time, this will be forgotten by Monday, especially with the non-finish.
-Orton & Batista destroy the Usos in the ring, while Kane sets Bryan up for a chokeslam through the announce table. The Shield make the save, then chase Orton & Batista away. Kane tries to sneak attack them with a chair, but Bryan cuts that off with a running knee, and The Shield, at the behest of Bryan, give Kane a triple powerbomb. A stare down closes the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was pretty much an extension of RAW, with nothing really standing out or on its own. Anything important that happened here will be shown again on Raw, so if you're a Smackdown non-viewer, you didn't miss much this week.
Friday, April 11, 2014
NXT 4/10/14
In Memory of WARRIOR 1959-2014
-From Full Sail University in Orlando, FL
-Hosts are Rich Brennan, Alex Riley, & Jason Albert (a.k.a. Albert, a.k.a. Tensai)
-Match 1: Adam Rose (w/entourage) VS Danny Burch
-Rose prances around, so Burch kicks him in the stomach. Rose gets stuck in the ropes, but he takes the opportunity to mess with Burch before hitting a mule kick and taking control. Burch slugs Rose down, and implores Rose to get up. Rose takes a couple chops and fires up, peppering Burch with punches followed by some chops. Rose hits an avalanche, a mule kick, a sitdown splash in the corner, followed by a spinebuster. Rose removes his elbow pad and drives it home from the second turnbuckle for the pin.
1/2* Really basic stuff. I REALLY hope that's not going to be his finisher.
-LAST WEEK: Sami Zayn passes out while trapped in Corey Graves' Lucky 13 submission.
-The ref explains why he called the match.
-Corey Graves will take the win, but tells Zayn that they're just getting started.
-Bo Dallas has a special announcement tonight.
-Match 2: Bayley VS Sasha Banks (w/Charlotte)
-Banks goes for the win right away, but doesn't come close to getting it. Bayley goes for a sunset flip, but Banks blocks, sits down, and gets two. Banks slugs away with some mounted punches, then dumps Bayley on her face for two. Banks walks on Bayley's back and gets two, then locks on a cross-armed choke. Banks lets go and gets two, then blocks a roll-up by grabbing the ropes. Bayley fires up and hits a running clothesline, followed by a flying uppercut then a flying back elbow. Bayley charges into a boot and Banks reapplies the cross-arm choke, but Bayley escapes, and hits a belly-to-belly for the win.
**1/2 Pretty solid action. Bayley is capable in the ring, but her "woman-child" gimmick is total bush league. It's also pretty weird that they haven't done anything with Charlotte since setting her up to be Paige's next challenger.
-Mojo Rawley is next. Shit.
-Match 3: Sylvester Lefort VS Mojo Rawley
-Rawley is the definition of a guy whose gimmick does not match his look at all, and he seems like someone who would annoy the shit out of me if that were his real personality. If this were the attitude era, his hyper-ness would have been explained as being the result of a serious meth addiction. Rowley hits a couple Stinger Splashes, a butt bump, and finishes with the Hyper Drive (sit-down splash). Well, at least it was short.
SQUASH I may not like Rowley and his "uber-positive Goldberg" gimmick, but he's over with the NXT crowd.
-Brodus Clay comes out to add a beatdown then complain about Triple H & John Cena putting Adrian Neville over and not him before calling Neville out. Neville responds, and they trade insults before Brodus back away.
-Camacho doesn't like Adam Rose. Oliver Grey tells him to forget about Rose for a moment, and face him next week.
-The NXT roster spends some time at Axxess over WrestleMania weekend.
-Khali makes his NXT debut, and actually tries cutting a promo in English. Bayley enters to give him a hug. CJ Parker surmises that Khali produces 3X the amount of waste of the average person. Khali responds in Punjab, but it's cool because Bayley has conveniently been taking lessons, and she translates that Khali challenged Parker to a match for next week.
-Bo Dallas enters, and while he's not afraid to step to the back of the line for an NXT title shot, but he has his own version of the YES Movement, the Bo Movement, and wishes to use them to Occupy NXT. The crowd responds by literally turning their back on him. Bo gave you ingrates COOKIES damn it! Bo is upset as we go to break.
-Back from break, Bo is still upset and refuses to leave the ring, so NXT GM JBL comes out to book Bo VS Justin Gabriel.
-Match 4: Bo Dallas VS Justin Gabriel
-Gabriel hits a couple cross-bodies to start, then gets a sunset flip for two, and Dallas bails. Bo gets a punch to the face, then slaps on a side headlock. Gabriel escapes and turns the tide, and Bo stalls, drawing a "boring" chant. Dallas manages to snap Gabriel's throat on the ropes, then kick Gabriel to the floor. Dallas follows, and works Gabriel over a bit before rolling Gabriel back inside, hitting a knee drop, and getting a one count. Dallas hits a suplex for two, then locks on a cravat. Gabriel escapes, but gets dropped for a two count, then Dallas reapplies the cravat.
Dallas hits a clothesline for two, then elbows Gabriel in the face when Gabriel blocks a whip. Another whip attempt is countered, and Bo takes a big bump off it. Well, this match needed something. Gabriel gets a spin kick, then they almost botch a spot pretty badly before Gabriel hits another couple of kicks before adding a splash in the corner and a springboard cross-body for two. They exchange strikes, then reversals leading to an inverted DDT by Dallas for two. Dallas goes for a double-arm DDT, but Gabriel counters into a Northern Lights suplex (mis-called a Fisherman by Albert) for two. Dallas avoids a springboard moonsault, but Gabriel promptly gets a small package for two. Dallas kicks Gabriel's knee out from under his knee, and finishes with a double-arm DDT. Not like Drew McIntyre has any opportunities to use it.
*1/4 Yeah, this was a pretty bad main event. I haven't seen too much of Bo, but I know a few people who have watched NXT religiously who are not big on his ring work.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was definitely the worst episode of NXT since the Network launch. The roster is paper thin right now and is only going to get more so when Bo, Paige, and Rose all leave. This show really needs Sami Zayn to provide a good match every week.
-From Full Sail University in Orlando, FL
-Hosts are Rich Brennan, Alex Riley, & Jason Albert (a.k.a. Albert, a.k.a. Tensai)
-Match 1: Adam Rose (w/entourage) VS Danny Burch
-Rose prances around, so Burch kicks him in the stomach. Rose gets stuck in the ropes, but he takes the opportunity to mess with Burch before hitting a mule kick and taking control. Burch slugs Rose down, and implores Rose to get up. Rose takes a couple chops and fires up, peppering Burch with punches followed by some chops. Rose hits an avalanche, a mule kick, a sitdown splash in the corner, followed by a spinebuster. Rose removes his elbow pad and drives it home from the second turnbuckle for the pin.
1/2* Really basic stuff. I REALLY hope that's not going to be his finisher.
-LAST WEEK: Sami Zayn passes out while trapped in Corey Graves' Lucky 13 submission.
-The ref explains why he called the match.
-Corey Graves will take the win, but tells Zayn that they're just getting started.
-Bo Dallas has a special announcement tonight.
-Match 2: Bayley VS Sasha Banks (w/Charlotte)
-Banks goes for the win right away, but doesn't come close to getting it. Bayley goes for a sunset flip, but Banks blocks, sits down, and gets two. Banks slugs away with some mounted punches, then dumps Bayley on her face for two. Banks walks on Bayley's back and gets two, then locks on a cross-armed choke. Banks lets go and gets two, then blocks a roll-up by grabbing the ropes. Bayley fires up and hits a running clothesline, followed by a flying uppercut then a flying back elbow. Bayley charges into a boot and Banks reapplies the cross-arm choke, but Bayley escapes, and hits a belly-to-belly for the win.
**1/2 Pretty solid action. Bayley is capable in the ring, but her "woman-child" gimmick is total bush league. It's also pretty weird that they haven't done anything with Charlotte since setting her up to be Paige's next challenger.
-Mojo Rawley is next. Shit.
-Match 3: Sylvester Lefort VS Mojo Rawley
-Rawley is the definition of a guy whose gimmick does not match his look at all, and he seems like someone who would annoy the shit out of me if that were his real personality. If this were the attitude era, his hyper-ness would have been explained as being the result of a serious meth addiction. Rowley hits a couple Stinger Splashes, a butt bump, and finishes with the Hyper Drive (sit-down splash). Well, at least it was short.
SQUASH I may not like Rowley and his "uber-positive Goldberg" gimmick, but he's over with the NXT crowd.
-Brodus Clay comes out to add a beatdown then complain about Triple H & John Cena putting Adrian Neville over and not him before calling Neville out. Neville responds, and they trade insults before Brodus back away.
-Camacho doesn't like Adam Rose. Oliver Grey tells him to forget about Rose for a moment, and face him next week.
-The NXT roster spends some time at Axxess over WrestleMania weekend.
-Khali makes his NXT debut, and actually tries cutting a promo in English. Bayley enters to give him a hug. CJ Parker surmises that Khali produces 3X the amount of waste of the average person. Khali responds in Punjab, but it's cool because Bayley has conveniently been taking lessons, and she translates that Khali challenged Parker to a match for next week.
-Bo Dallas enters, and while he's not afraid to step to the back of the line for an NXT title shot, but he has his own version of the YES Movement, the Bo Movement, and wishes to use them to Occupy NXT. The crowd responds by literally turning their back on him. Bo gave you ingrates COOKIES damn it! Bo is upset as we go to break.
-Back from break, Bo is still upset and refuses to leave the ring, so NXT GM JBL comes out to book Bo VS Justin Gabriel.
-Match 4: Bo Dallas VS Justin Gabriel
-Gabriel hits a couple cross-bodies to start, then gets a sunset flip for two, and Dallas bails. Bo gets a punch to the face, then slaps on a side headlock. Gabriel escapes and turns the tide, and Bo stalls, drawing a "boring" chant. Dallas manages to snap Gabriel's throat on the ropes, then kick Gabriel to the floor. Dallas follows, and works Gabriel over a bit before rolling Gabriel back inside, hitting a knee drop, and getting a one count. Dallas hits a suplex for two, then locks on a cravat. Gabriel escapes, but gets dropped for a two count, then Dallas reapplies the cravat.
Dallas hits a clothesline for two, then elbows Gabriel in the face when Gabriel blocks a whip. Another whip attempt is countered, and Bo takes a big bump off it. Well, this match needed something. Gabriel gets a spin kick, then they almost botch a spot pretty badly before Gabriel hits another couple of kicks before adding a splash in the corner and a springboard cross-body for two. They exchange strikes, then reversals leading to an inverted DDT by Dallas for two. Dallas goes for a double-arm DDT, but Gabriel counters into a Northern Lights suplex (mis-called a Fisherman by Albert) for two. Dallas avoids a springboard moonsault, but Gabriel promptly gets a small package for two. Dallas kicks Gabriel's knee out from under his knee, and finishes with a double-arm DDT. Not like Drew McIntyre has any opportunities to use it.
*1/4 Yeah, this was a pretty bad main event. I haven't seen too much of Bo, but I know a few people who have watched NXT religiously who are not big on his ring work.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was definitely the worst episode of NXT since the Network launch. The roster is paper thin right now and is only going to get more so when Bo, Paige, and Rose all leave. This show really needs Sami Zayn to provide a good match every week.
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