-LAST WEEK: John Cena, thanks to a fan vote, gets stuck facing all three Wyatt Family members. He still manages to have the match won, because Cena, before getting put down.
-From St. Louis, MO
-Hosts are Cole, King, & JBL
-A steel cage is lowered and Cena comes out to start the show. ALSO TONIGHT: Stephanie apologizes to Daniel Bryan, and Roman Reigns VS Randy Orton.
-Cena asks what he did to deserve last week. The crowd: "You Suck!". Well that explains it. Cena flashes back to when he was drafted to Raw from Smackdown in 2005, and the ovation he got. He comes to the conclusion that everyone has changed. Or it could be that the company decided to strip everything that men over the age of 13 liked about you, and stuck you in a terrible Austin/McMahon re-hash. Cena knows that he can't do this forever, and actually agrees with the cheers that generates, because he sees the bright future of the WWE. Cena lists a bunch of babyfaces (and Cesaro) from both the main roster and NXT, then says Bray Wyatt is different because he is all about himself, and not the WWE. Cena says it's important that the match Sunday is in a cage, because it will keep Rowan & Harper out (yeah right) and Wyatt's message in, because if Wyatt escapes and wins, he message gets out. Cena says soon it will be Wyatt VS The World, and the world doesn't stand a chance.
That leads to a Wyatt interruption, and a choir singing "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands". Bray joins in, and gets them to both change the lyrics at his whim, then surround the ring before throwing on sheep masks. Cena is NOT happy, but some members of the WWE Universe with higher-pitched voices try to help out by chanting his name. Wyatt laughs his ass off to end the segment. Awesome way to open the show, but this had better be leading to something come Sunday. I've expected a Wyatt win then since their feud started, but that doesn't seem like it would be enough now.
-Match 1 for the WWE Tag Team championship: The Usos [c] VS Rybaxel
-Surprised this isn't on the PPV *ahem* WWE Special. Big match intros too. Can't remember that last time non-world title matches got that. Jimmy & Axel start, and they trade chops before Jimmyy hits a cross-body for two. Ryback gets in (to "Goldberg" chants) and hits a splash, but allows a tag, then takes a double superkick. The Usos also send Axel outside before hitting stereo dives. One of the Usos has injured his ankle as we go to break.
Back from break, Axel has Jimmy (now I know which is which) in a headlock. Jimmy fights out, but takes a knee to the head for two. Ryback gets in and after a series of two counts, sets Jimmy up top, then tags in Axel. Jimmy fights off a double team superplex (at least that's moderately different), and dumps both Ryback & Axel. Jimmy makes the tag, and Jey hits a cross-body off the top for two. Jey slugs away on Axel in the corner, then catches Ryback with a superkick. Jey hits the ATM on Axel for two, Ryback makes a bling tag, then Axel hits an awkward teardrop suplex, and Ryback follows up with a spinebuster for two. Ryback goes for the Meathook Clothesline, but Jey counters with a superkick to the chest for two. Ryback gets the clothesline, then goes for Shellshocked, but Jey counters into a sunset flip for two. Axel gets in, but Jimmy makes a blind tag, which Axel doesn't see. Axel hits Jey with a PerfectPlex, but leaves himself wide open for a big splash from Jimmy for the pin.
***1/2 Really good match. Added a little bit to the rating since I can't tell for sure if Jey is legit hurt, or just selling really well.
-The crew announce that Extreme Rules will not be available on DirecTV or Dish Network, so there's the first casualty of the WWE Network.
-LATER TONIGHT: Reigns VS Orton.
-A pretty nice hype video for Bryan/Kane airs, and it's officially an Extreme Rules Match.
-ADAM ROSE is here next week.
-Cesaro & Heyman have a pow wow, and Heyman is AGHAST that RVD would speak out against him. Heyman then says RVD is actually right in what he said last week, but he does take his clients to the top. That's all Cesaro needed to hear.
-LAST WEEK: Kane killed Bryan.
-KANE'S MASK IS HERE!
-Sheamus comes out for a match, but Titus O'Neill jumps him from behind. The crew talk about there being a "new" Titus as O'Neill kicks Sheamus' ass.
-Match 2: Sheamus VS Titus O'Neill
-Sheamus gives the OK, so the ref rings the bell. Titus goes to work in the corner, but gets pulled back by the ref, and eats a Brogue Kick for the pin. WTF was the point of THAT?
NO RATING I was getting ready to write something along the lines of "It's nice to see WWE finally doing something with Titus" when the Brogue Kick happened. The crew put over the "new" Titus. You mean a guy who jumps his opponent from behind, then loses after taking one move? Real winner there.
-Hugh Jackman is next.
-Kofi Kingston explains how to sign up for WWE Network. It's the most relevant thing he's done in months.
-BOLIEVE
-Dolph Ziggler comes out to play hype man for Hugh Jackman and pimp the new X-Men movie. Ziggler & Jackman bury the hatchet, with Ziggler mentioning the kick to the head he took from Swagger last year. Damien Sandow comes out dressed as Magneto, in a completely out-of-character moment for him. The crowd chants for Jackman to knock Sandow out (which Sandow interprets as the crowd chanting for him in a nice touch). Sandow tries to use the power of Magnetism, and Jackman sells it (as the crowd looks on silence) before revealing that he's just screwing with Sandow. Jackman hits a hiptoss, and Ziggler adds a Zig Zag to end the segment. That would have been awesome had it been anyone but Sandow (who did as well as he could have) in that suit.
-A video recaps the build to Shield/Evolution.
-ON SMACKDOWN: Zeb Coulter & Paul Heyman have a debate.
-Heyman does some tremendous trolling of the crowd before Cesaro makes his entrance.
-Match 3: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter) VS Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman)
-Swagger gets an immediate takedown, but Cesaro counters into not one, but two deadlift gutwrench suplexes. The crowd completely undersells how awesome that was. Swagger rolls outside, but Cesaro follows with an axe handle from the top. Swagger manages to send Cesaro into the guardrail, and once they get back in, Swagger sends Cesaro into the post before adding a short-arm clothesline for two. The crowd is DEAD AS DEAD CAN BE right now. Cesaro counters a backdrop with an uppercut to a minor reaction, but he then runs into a big boot for two. Zeb interferes and TWIRLS the mustache, and Heyman goes after him which wakes the crowd from their coma. Cesaro gets a German Suplex off the distraction to get the win.
* Geez, how can two guys have a match like the Smackdown match, then have this one?
-Parts of the opening segment are shown for anyone who missed it.
-Cena has no comment for Rene Young.
-KANE'S MASK IS STILL HERE!
-Match 4: Alberto Del Rio VS Cody Rhodes (w/Goldust)
-Cody gets a jobber intro. ADR gets no intro. Boy how the mighty have fallen. ADR gets the early jump, then Cody fires back, then ADR regains control and hits a suplex for two. Cody hits a slam (looking like he's struggling to do so), but gets caught with a cheap shot in the corner. ADR hits a belly-to-back suplex for two, then slaps on a chinlock. Cody fights out and hits a dropkick, but he then runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. ADR gets another chinlock, Cody gets out, but jumps into a punch to the gut, a superkick, and the cross-armbreaker to finish.
*1/2 This wasn't bad, but the crowd is deader than both of their pushes. I don't mind matches for
matches sake (in fact, I wish there were more of them), but WWE crowds
have been conditioned to think that they mean less than nothing.
-Cody pushes Goldust away, as they continue to drag this out. They definitely should have turned Cody right after the tag title loss, when it would have meant something. Now they have been jobbed out so much as a team and as singles, that the crowds don't care about them.
-Cesaro & Heyman have another conference backstage.
-Match 5: Alexander Rusev (w/Lana) VS Xavier Woods (w/R-Truth)
-Woods tries to get out of the box quickly, but Rusev squashes that, and him, in about 30 seconds. Rusev looks to finish, but Truth rushes in to cause a DQ.
-NO RATING Just there to set up the PPV handicap match that will get the same non-reaction this got.
-The supposed babyfaces double-team Rusev, then Woods talks shit after getting squashed in 30 seconds and needing his friend to save him.
-Cena grants three more wishes. It would be awesome if this was being aired to advance a heel turn, but that isn't happening.
-Rene interviews RVD. RVD wants to win his lucky #7 IC title, and that Barrett is going to get some bad news tonight. Zeb Coulter proposes an alliance since they both hate Heyman. RVD turns it down.
-Zeb & Coulter have their own pow-wow.
-Match 6: Los Matadores (w/El Torito) VS Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre (w/Jinder Mahal & Hornswoggle)
-Again no entrances, but the announcement of WEE-LC for the Extreme Rules pre-show is great. Diego actually gets the crowd to react via a couple athletic moves. Hornswoggle wants Torito, who gores Mahal when he tries to keep them apart. Slater catches Diego with an Impaler DDT and SLATER WINS! SLATER WINS! SLATER WINS!
No Rating This wasn't even really a match, just a setup for WEE-LC. However, SLATER WINS! SLATER WINS! SLATER WINS!
-Los Matadores avoid a dive from Hornswoggle, much to the amusement of the announce team.
-Stephanie's apology is next.
-Sheamus gets to do another job, this time to Bray, on Main Event.
-Stephanie comes out to make her apology. She calls out Bryan, who comes out with Bree and a neck brace. Bryan says he almost believed her when she cried for Kane to stop, but he can't, because she's full of crap. Steph goes over their history, and says emotions ran high, and Bryan counters by asking about what his wife must have felt during all of HHH's attacks. Stephanie responds that she only meant to give Kane a backbone and give Bryan a credible opponent (so why did she pick Kane?) for Extreme Rules, and that she can sympathize with Bree, having ridden in too many ambulances and slept in too many hospital rooms with HHH. Bryan says she's still full of crap, so Stephanie invites Bryan to the ring to look her in the eyes, but Bryan smells a trap (an intelligent babyface?). Bryan says his head hurts and he can't move his neck, but he won't give in, and if Kane does take Bryan down, Bryan will take Kane down with him. Stephanie says she doesn't know where Kane is, but while Bryan can't wrestle tonight, Bree can, and will, for the Diva's title. Bryan won't let Bree go to ringside alone, and Steph says that's cool. Well so much for Bryan being a smart babyface, but at least he has a reason to fall into an obvious trap.
-Of course, Kane's mask is now gone, for the two of you who were watching and didn't know what was coming up next.
-Match 7 for the Divas Championship: Paige [c] VS Brie Bella (w/Daniel Bryan)
-Paige gets jobber intro'd, continuing that streak for tonight. Brie gets a couple takedowns and a dropkick for two. Paige fires back with a kick to the stomach and a hair toss, followed by a mudhole stomping. Paige adds a snap suplex for one, then some knees in the ropes. Brie catches Paige coming through the ropes with a kick to the head, followed by a running knee to the face. Brie tries to go into BRIE MODE, but gets caught and superplexed. Paige is obviously a face, since she hit the move. Kane's pyro hits, and he emerges through the ring to grab Brie, so it's a no-contest.
NO RATING This was just hear to set up the following angle, but at least they didn't try to act like it was supposed to be a surprise.
-Bryan grabs a wrench and clocks Kane in the face, but ends up taking a chokeslam, and Brie ends up having to save herself, which she does.Well, you had to know it was only a matter of time before Brie became Bryan's damsel-in-distress, but I do question the logic of having her save herself after he got taken out.
-MOMENTS AGO: Kane tried to kidnap Brie.
-Bryan gets looked at by the doctor. Steph enters, concerned that Bryan will not be able to wrestle at Extreme Rules. Bryan says he will be there, and Steph will regret bringing his wife into this. Brie yells "GET OUT YOU BITCH", which wakes the crowd up.
-EARLIER TONIGHT: By far the best part of the show was the first 15 minutes.
-Cena is ready to talk, and he tries to convince himself that the WWE Universe hasn't turned their back on him. Cena jokes about buying Wyatt a donkey to name Glutious and bring to the ring with him. I like the running character thread that Cena makes bad jokes when he's really nervous about a match.
-Bad News Barrett has some bad news for RVD: the last time RVD was relevant, Barrett was in diapers back in England. He then messes up a line (or the line is poorly written, which wouldn't surprise me), saying RVD will be "back in" diapers and sipping his meals through a straw courtesy of B...N...B.
-Match 8-Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender's Tournament Final: Bad News Barrett VS RVD
-They start out slow. "Big E might as well prepare for both guys, because after tonight he'll know". Shush it, Lawler. Barrett knocks RVD outside via a back elbow to the face, then whips him into the barricade. Barrett rams RVD into the announce table, then stops to ask for approval from JBL, before rolling RVD inside and getting a two count. RVD comes back with kicks and a rollup for two, but Barrett blocks a headscissors, lifts RVD in the air, and hits a kick to the midsection on the way down, drawing some "OOOOOHHH"s from the crowd as we go to break.
Back from break, RVD escapes a chinlock, but walks into the Winds of Change for two. Barrett gingerly drops an elbow off the top for two, before choking RVD in the corner and hitting a hangman's neckbreaker for two. Barrett hits the chinlock then changes up to a surfboard. RVD gets out, and counters a kitchen sink with a rollup for two. RVD hits a kick to the face and goes for Rolling Thunder, but Barrett avoids it. RVD kicks Barrett down again. Cesaro comes out, then Swagger goes after him, so Cesaro sends Swagger into the barricade. RVD avoids the Bull Hammer and hits Rolling Thunder, but Cesaro causes another distraction, allowing Barrett time to lift his knees to counter the Five Star Frog Splash, then finish with the Bull Hammer.
** Barrett couldn't quite overcome the black hole of suck that RVD has become.
-Cesaro goes after RVD, then Swagger attacks Cesaro, hitting him with a gutwrench powerbomb. RVD kicks Swagger out of the ring, then hits a frog splash on Cesaro. Heyman is NOT happy. There's another match for the special event.
-FROM SMACKDOWN: The Shield run through 11 guys.
-The Shield don't think Evolution are "all that and a bag of chips".
-BREAKING NEWS: Dean Ambrose will have to defend the U.S. title against ADR & Rybaxel on Smackdown.
-Match 9: Randy Orton (w/Triple H & Batista) VS Roman Reigns (w/Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins)
-Orton gets a small hometown pop. HHH is impressed with what The Shield did on Smackdown, but Evolution will still kick their asses at Extreme Rules. Ric Flair comes out...and endorses The Shield. Please don't let him be in your corner on Sunday guys. Orton gets the early jump and sends Reigns outside. Orton tries a suplex on the floor, but Reigns blocks, and reverses the move. Reigns hits a headbutt, but Orton somehow survives that, and reverses a whip to send Reigns into the steps. Orton dares Rollins or Ambrose to attack him, but they don't, and HHH walks over in case they do. Back in Orton hits the chinlock, but Reigns fights out. After an awkward moment, Orton clotheslines Reigns out over the top. Orton pulls Reigns back in and tries for the draping DDT, but Reigns avoids it.
Reigns makes a comeback and FIRES UP, looking pretty goofy as he does so. He hits the floor-to-apron kick, then calls for the Superman Punch. Batista distracts the ref and HHH does the same to Reigns, allowing Orton to hit the Orton Backbreaker, and causing Rollins & Ambrose to attack HHH & Batista. HHH & Batista quickly turn the tide on Rollins & Ambrose. Back to the match, as Reigns hits the Superman Punch, but stops to join the fight on the floor, and it's a no-contest.
* Nothing special while it lasted. Taking a lot of offense then making a short comeback is not the formula Reigns needs to be working in.
-Evolution destroy The Shield, which completely goes against the storyline so far. Things go back in the ring, and the massacre continues, until HHH goes to Pedigree Ambrose, and Rollins breaks that up with a flying knee. The Shield take care of Orton & Batista, and Reigns spears HHH. The Shield set up for the triple powerbomb, but Orton & Batista grab chairs and try to save, forcing The Shield to abandon that plan to take care of them, and give HHH time to escape. The Shield stand tall to close the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: The opening half hour or so was great...then it all went to hell. Some really bass-ackwards booking on this show combined with completely inconsequential in-ring action makes for a pretty bad show. The only thing missing was a two minute match featuring Santino/Emma and Fandango/Layla.
-
TBHND
Well that's what I heard,,,
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Ring of Honor Wrestling for the Weekend of 4/25/14
-The show opens with still photos from Ladder War at Supercard of Honor VIII.
-From New Orleans, LA
-Hosts are Kevin Kelly & Steve Corino
-Kelly & Corino talk about Cole becoming the "Undisputed" RoH World Champion, and Jay Lethal winning the TV title. Lethal makes his first defense against Alex Koslov in tonight's main event. Plus, there is doubt surrounding the future of the Briscoes.
-Adam Cole opens the show with Matt Hardy by his side. Cole is still feeling the ladder match, since this was taped the day after. Cole says no one can understand what it's like to go to bed knowing you're the best pro wrestler on the planet and still have people question you. Cole says he went to hell and back to retain his world title, while Jay Briscoe went to hell and stayed there. Cole says both he and Michael Bennett beat the Briscoes like they've never been beaten before, and that the Briscoes will never show their face in RoH again. Cole presents Hardy with the Jay Briscoe title belt, and Hardy renames it the ICONIC Championsip.
Kevin Steen interrupts, stating that Cole has no idea what hell is, because Steen is the Devil, and he's going to show Cole hell at Border Wars in Toronto. Steen talks about never getting a title shot after losing the title last year. Steen makes fun of Cole for saying Toronto is Steen's hometown, when Steen is from Quebec. Steen punches Cole and goes after Hardy, but falls victim to a heel beatdown after Michael Bennett interjects.
-Match 1: Cedric Alexander VS BJ Whitmer (w/Jimmy Jacobs, Roderick Strong, & Adam Page)
-Whitmer backs Alexander into the corner, and gives a clean break. Roderick Strong joins the announce team as Cedric hits a dropkick for two. They exchange chops, but Whitmer hits a kitchen sink, followed by a gutbuster. Whitmer gets a modified abdominal stretch, but then walks into an enziguiri, followed by a Trouble in Paradise for two. Cedric slips while walking the ropes, but still manages to kick Whitmer in the face. Whitmer hits a snap powerslam, followed by a couple modified fisherman suplexes for two and we go to break.
-Truth Martini gloats about having yet another champion on his resume.
Back from break, Cedric counters an exploder and gets a rollup for two. Cedric hits a lumbar kick, but Jacobs distracts both he and the ref. Cedric takes care of Jacobs, but whiffs on another spin kick, and Whitmer hits a lariat for the pin.
**1/4 Not bad, not bad at all.
-Page holds Alexander in place as Jacobs cuts a promo on him. Alexander spits at Jacobs, so Strong kicks him in the face, and hits his release suplex into a backbreaker finish.
-Adam Cole tells Steen to "Run Steen Run".
-Match 2: Andrew Everett VS ACH (w/Tadarius Thomas)
-Jimmy Jacobs joins the announce team. They have a standoff, then Everett hits a nice dropkick. ACH comes back, and gets a Cloverleaf. Everett fires back with a springboard dropkick, then spikes ACH on his head with a rana for two. Everett hits a suplex, but misses a springboard SSP. ACH hits a double stomp to the head, followed by a low superkick. ACH ends up outside, and Everett hits a dive. Back in, Everett misses a double moonsault, allowing ACH to hit a pretty vicious running knee to the face, followed by a 450 for the pin.
*3/4 Didn't really care for this. It did have a nice contrast of Everett only having flippy stuff in his repertoire and looking only to impress the crowd, while ACH had some nice strikes that got him the win.
-A video recaps the Truth/Taven angle, as well as Lethal joining Truth while winning the TV title.
-Match 3 for the RoH Television Championship: Jay Lethal [c] (w/Truth Martini) VS Alex Koslov
-Koslov turns down a handshake, but then offers one after a standoff. Koslov hits a dropkick to send Lethal outside, then follows with a flip dive as we go to break.
Back from break, Lethal works Koslov over on the floor, then rolls him back inside for two. Kozlov counters the hiptoss/dropkick combo into a rollup for two. Lethal tries a springboard, but gets met with a dropkick on the way down. They do a strike exchange, then Koslov avoids an avalanche before hitting a springboard dropkick followed by Cossak Kicks and a double stomp to the face for two. Lethal tries fighting back, but he runs into a heel kick. Lethal rolls outside, and Koslov almost loses his balance on a springboard, but manages to execute a cross-body to the outside.
Back in, Lethal gets a Lethal Combination into a Koji Clutch. Koslov hangs on, then counters into a Cobra Stretch, forcing Lethal to grab the ropes. Lethal fights off a superplex, but Koslov avoids the newly-renamed Hail to the Champ. Lethal hits a kick to the gut, but Koslov counters the Lethal Injection into a Burning Hammer for two. Koslov goes up, but a bandaged Matt Taven runs out to go after Truth, who runs into the ring. Taven then takes the opportunity to go after Lethal, which draws a DQ.
*** This was getting pretty good before the finish. Not surprised to see Koslov protected here.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: Decent start to the new taping cycle. Nothing particularly memorable, but nothing too bad either except for Everett thinking it's 2002.
-From New Orleans, LA
-Hosts are Kevin Kelly & Steve Corino
-Kelly & Corino talk about Cole becoming the "Undisputed" RoH World Champion, and Jay Lethal winning the TV title. Lethal makes his first defense against Alex Koslov in tonight's main event. Plus, there is doubt surrounding the future of the Briscoes.
-Adam Cole opens the show with Matt Hardy by his side. Cole is still feeling the ladder match, since this was taped the day after. Cole says no one can understand what it's like to go to bed knowing you're the best pro wrestler on the planet and still have people question you. Cole says he went to hell and back to retain his world title, while Jay Briscoe went to hell and stayed there. Cole says both he and Michael Bennett beat the Briscoes like they've never been beaten before, and that the Briscoes will never show their face in RoH again. Cole presents Hardy with the Jay Briscoe title belt, and Hardy renames it the ICONIC Championsip.
Kevin Steen interrupts, stating that Cole has no idea what hell is, because Steen is the Devil, and he's going to show Cole hell at Border Wars in Toronto. Steen talks about never getting a title shot after losing the title last year. Steen makes fun of Cole for saying Toronto is Steen's hometown, when Steen is from Quebec. Steen punches Cole and goes after Hardy, but falls victim to a heel beatdown after Michael Bennett interjects.
-Match 1: Cedric Alexander VS BJ Whitmer (w/Jimmy Jacobs, Roderick Strong, & Adam Page)
-Whitmer backs Alexander into the corner, and gives a clean break. Roderick Strong joins the announce team as Cedric hits a dropkick for two. They exchange chops, but Whitmer hits a kitchen sink, followed by a gutbuster. Whitmer gets a modified abdominal stretch, but then walks into an enziguiri, followed by a Trouble in Paradise for two. Cedric slips while walking the ropes, but still manages to kick Whitmer in the face. Whitmer hits a snap powerslam, followed by a couple modified fisherman suplexes for two and we go to break.
-Truth Martini gloats about having yet another champion on his resume.
Back from break, Cedric counters an exploder and gets a rollup for two. Cedric hits a lumbar kick, but Jacobs distracts both he and the ref. Cedric takes care of Jacobs, but whiffs on another spin kick, and Whitmer hits a lariat for the pin.
**1/4 Not bad, not bad at all.
-Page holds Alexander in place as Jacobs cuts a promo on him. Alexander spits at Jacobs, so Strong kicks him in the face, and hits his release suplex into a backbreaker finish.
-Adam Cole tells Steen to "Run Steen Run".
-Match 2: Andrew Everett VS ACH (w/Tadarius Thomas)
-Jimmy Jacobs joins the announce team. They have a standoff, then Everett hits a nice dropkick. ACH comes back, and gets a Cloverleaf. Everett fires back with a springboard dropkick, then spikes ACH on his head with a rana for two. Everett hits a suplex, but misses a springboard SSP. ACH hits a double stomp to the head, followed by a low superkick. ACH ends up outside, and Everett hits a dive. Back in, Everett misses a double moonsault, allowing ACH to hit a pretty vicious running knee to the face, followed by a 450 for the pin.
*3/4 Didn't really care for this. It did have a nice contrast of Everett only having flippy stuff in his repertoire and looking only to impress the crowd, while ACH had some nice strikes that got him the win.
-A video recaps the Truth/Taven angle, as well as Lethal joining Truth while winning the TV title.
-Match 3 for the RoH Television Championship: Jay Lethal [c] (w/Truth Martini) VS Alex Koslov
-Koslov turns down a handshake, but then offers one after a standoff. Koslov hits a dropkick to send Lethal outside, then follows with a flip dive as we go to break.
Back from break, Lethal works Koslov over on the floor, then rolls him back inside for two. Kozlov counters the hiptoss/dropkick combo into a rollup for two. Lethal tries a springboard, but gets met with a dropkick on the way down. They do a strike exchange, then Koslov avoids an avalanche before hitting a springboard dropkick followed by Cossak Kicks and a double stomp to the face for two. Lethal tries fighting back, but he runs into a heel kick. Lethal rolls outside, and Koslov almost loses his balance on a springboard, but manages to execute a cross-body to the outside.
Back in, Lethal gets a Lethal Combination into a Koji Clutch. Koslov hangs on, then counters into a Cobra Stretch, forcing Lethal to grab the ropes. Lethal fights off a superplex, but Koslov avoids the newly-renamed Hail to the Champ. Lethal hits a kick to the gut, but Koslov counters the Lethal Injection into a Burning Hammer for two. Koslov goes up, but a bandaged Matt Taven runs out to go after Truth, who runs into the ring. Taven then takes the opportunity to go after Lethal, which draws a DQ.
*** This was getting pretty good before the finish. Not surprised to see Koslov protected here.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: Decent start to the new taping cycle. Nothing particularly memorable, but nothing too bad either except for Everett thinking it's 2002.
Smackdown 4/25/14
-Vickie Guerrero (I thought she was done?) opens the show. She says The Authority have taken the night off, leaving her in charge, since she's the Smackdown GM after all. She books The Shield in another 11-on-3 handicap match for later tonight, before introducing Zeb Coulter (w/Jack Swagger) & Paul Heyman (w/Cesaro) for a great managerial debate.
Zeb opens up by complaining about Cesaro aligning with Heyman and ditching the Real Americans. Zeb says Cesaro practically begged to join the RES, and that Zeb had to talk Swagger into it. Zeb gets cut off by a buzzer at about 90 seconds.
Heyman apparently doesn't care about what they came here to debate, because his client Brock Lesnar conquered the streak. Zeb warns Heyman about Cesaro, breaking out the "he'd rather climb a tree and tell a lie rather than stay on the ground and tell the truth" line. Heyman responds to Zeb's question as to why he took Cesaro from him by asking when the last time Swagger won. Heyman says Cesaro was already a Heyman Guy when he won the ARMBaR. Zeb gets upset and calls Heyman out, leading to the two managers having to be separated. It's Swagger VS Cesaro next.
-From Hershey, PA
-Hosts are JBL & Cole
-Match 1: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter) VS Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman)
-Swagger bum rushes Cesaro at the bell. WE THE PEOPLE! Cesaro fires back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a couple uppercuts. Swagger hip tosses Cesaro out over the top, then knocks him off the apron when Cesaro tries to climb back in the ring. Swagger rolls outside, but runs right into another uppercut, which gets a nice reaction. Cesaro sends Swagger into the barricade, then adds a couple chops and a kick to the face. Back in, Cesaro hits a double stomp to the gut for two. Swagger hits a chop block, followed by a belly-to-belly suplex for two.
Swagger pulls on Cesaro's arm as the crowd starts to rally behind Cesaro, completely destroying JBL's point that the fans don't like anyone involved. Cesaro gets out of the hold, and hits a springboard uppercut followed by a dead lift gutwrench suplex. Swagger, in turn, comes right back with a backdrop and a Swagger Bomb for two. Cesaro fights out of a corner, and sends them both outside via a clothesline as we go to break.
Back from break, Cesaro fights off a superplex attempt, then a running throw attempt, before hitting a diving uppercut from the top for two. Cesaro charges into a back elbow, followed by a big boot for two. Cesaro raises his boot to block a Swagger Bomb, but Swagger manages to get the Patriot Lock. Cesaro escapes, but Swagger takes him down for two. Cesaro scores with yet another uppercut, followed by a Tiger Driver, the CESARO SWING, and the Neutralizer to finish.
***1/2 I really liked this match, and am surprised this was apparently the blow off, unless they go Cesaro/Heyman VS Swagger/Zeb at Extreme Rules.
-The Shield come out through the crowd and Cesaro smartly bails. Swagger is not so lucky, taking a Superman Punch from Reigns, followed by a triple powerbomb, in an attempt to take Swagger out of the handicap match. The Shield warn they are just getting started.
-ON RAW: Kane killed Bryan. Bryan will still be at Raw, and Stephanie is promising a public apology to the champ.
-LATER TONIGHT: Bray Wyatt has a message for John Cena.
-Another video profile on Paige airs.
-Match 2: Tamina VS Natalya
-Just as Cole & JBL hype Tamina, Natalya completely dominates the opening moments of the match. Natalya hits a dropkick to send Tamina to the apron, but Tamina yanks Natalya by the hair and sends her crashing to the floor. Tamina throws her jacket at Natalya, then rolls her back inside before getting a two count. Natalya gets a small package for two, then a discus clothesline for another two count after Tamina fights off the Sharpshooter. Tamina fights off a roll-up, then catches Natalya with a kick to the face for the pin.
** Decent enough, but I have to question Tamina getting dominated for the most part like that before her big title shot.
-A video recaps the Shield/Evolution feud so far.
-The Shield meet up with 3MB backstage. It does not go well for 3MB. Slater's sell of knowing he's about to die is awesome.
-Vickie has a phone conversation with Triple H, who tells her to take the rest of the night off and leave Brad Maddox in charge. She is NOT happy. Maddox says he'll make The Shield RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH.
-Match 3: Jey Uso (w/Jimmy Uso) VS Curtis Axel (w/Ryback)
-No entrances for anyone. They slug it out to start, then Axel hits an awkward running knee to the head. Axel follows up with a backbreaker and a forearm drop for two. Axel misses a splash in the corner, and Jey makes his comeback. Jey goes up, but Ryback causes a distraction, allowing Axel to regain control, and finish with the Axel neckbreaker.
** Watchable match to build to the tag title match at Extreme Rules.
-Bray Wyatt is next.
-BOLIEVE
-FROM RAW: Cena beats the Wyatts by himself, but gets laid out afterward.
-Bray cuts a sweet promo from inside a cage, with Harper & Rowan also inside. He loves that the WWE Universe would rather see Cena suffer than see him smile. Wyatt claims to be the conscience of a world that has thrown itself away to mortal monsters. Bray says he can see it now: all of Cena's fans turning on Cena to follow him.
-Match 4: Luke Harper & Erik Rowan (w/Bray Wyatt) VS The Brotherhood
-Cody starts with Harper, and hits a dropkick to the knee. Harper grabs Cody's face, but Cody fights back, and tags are made on both ends. Goldust gets Rowan down and tags Cody, who hits an uppercut. Bray gets on the mic and basically asks the crowd "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?" as the Family take over on Cody. Cody plays FIP, including a spot where Harper knocked Goldust off the apron, so Goldust wasn't there when Cody went to make a tag. Cody hits the Disaster Kick, and tags Goldust. The faces clean house, but Harper sends Goldust into Cody, which knocks Cody off the top into the barricade, then Harper finishes with distracted Goldust with a spinning clothesline.
***1/2 Good ring work coupled with good story telling = a happy Newb.
-The Shield take Maddox out. Ambrose's dive behind the couch to get him some is awesome.
-The Shield beat the shit out of Fandango and triple powerbomb him off the stage, thankfully saving us from Fandango/Layla VS Santino/Emma part 37.
-It's party time...ALL THE TIME!
-The whole murder of Daniel Bryan by Kane from Raw is replayed.
-ON MONDAY: Barrett VS RVD in the finals of the IC #1 Contender's Tournament.
-The Shield make their entrance.
-Match 5: The Shield VS Ryback, Bad News Barrett, Titus O'Neill, Damien Sandow, & Alberto Del Rio
-Ryback immediately takes Rollins down with a headlock. Rollins escapes, and hits a nice dropkick before tagging in Reigns. Reigns pounds away in the corner before tagging in Ambrose. The Shield triple team Ryback, who manages to catch a flying Rollins and slam him before tagging in Titus. Titus hits a slam, but he can't keep the advantage long, and he gets stuck in the Shield's corner. After taking some punishment, Titus powers Ambrose into the heel corner and tags Barrett. Rollins & Ambrose hit a double team suplex on Barrett, then clean house as we go to break.
Back from break, Barrett gets Ambrose in a chinlock. Ambrose gets out, but goes after the other heels instead of trying to make a tag, and walks into a big boot from Barrett, who tags in ADR. After Ambrose fights out of another headlock, ADR sends him outside, where Ryback whiffs badly on a punch to the head. Ryback gets in, and slaps on a headlock. Ambrose uses leverage to send Ryback into the corner, but walks into a huge spinebuster for two. Rollins tries to help, but gets casually tossed aside by Ryback.
Reigns gets the hot tag and cleans house, hitting a modified Blue Thunder on Sandow. Titus & Ryback get involved, then taken out in short order. Reigns hits the floor-to-apron dropkick on Sandow, and calls for the Superman Punch. ADR & Barrett look to get in, but then back off from Reigns before taking a walk. Reigns tags Rollins, who hits a dive on Ryback, then he & Ambrose hit stereo suicide dives on Sandow & Titus. Out on the ramp, Barrett shoves ADR into the path of a Superman Punch from Reigns, who comes out of nowhere. Awesome! Back to the ring. Reigns finishes Sandow with a spear.
***1/2 This was pretty fun. Not up to the best of the Shield tag matches, but it told a good story and made the Shield look like the baddest mother fuckers ever.
-Reigns adds a spear to Titus, then Ryback takes a triple powerbomb to close the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: I really liked this show. The in-ring stuff was good for the most part, and there were plenty of good stories being told to build to the near future. Can't ask for more than that.
Zeb opens up by complaining about Cesaro aligning with Heyman and ditching the Real Americans. Zeb says Cesaro practically begged to join the RES, and that Zeb had to talk Swagger into it. Zeb gets cut off by a buzzer at about 90 seconds.
Heyman apparently doesn't care about what they came here to debate, because his client Brock Lesnar conquered the streak. Zeb warns Heyman about Cesaro, breaking out the "he'd rather climb a tree and tell a lie rather than stay on the ground and tell the truth" line. Heyman responds to Zeb's question as to why he took Cesaro from him by asking when the last time Swagger won. Heyman says Cesaro was already a Heyman Guy when he won the ARMBaR. Zeb gets upset and calls Heyman out, leading to the two managers having to be separated. It's Swagger VS Cesaro next.
-From Hershey, PA
-Hosts are JBL & Cole
-Match 1: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter) VS Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman)
-Swagger bum rushes Cesaro at the bell. WE THE PEOPLE! Cesaro fires back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a couple uppercuts. Swagger hip tosses Cesaro out over the top, then knocks him off the apron when Cesaro tries to climb back in the ring. Swagger rolls outside, but runs right into another uppercut, which gets a nice reaction. Cesaro sends Swagger into the barricade, then adds a couple chops and a kick to the face. Back in, Cesaro hits a double stomp to the gut for two. Swagger hits a chop block, followed by a belly-to-belly suplex for two.
Swagger pulls on Cesaro's arm as the crowd starts to rally behind Cesaro, completely destroying JBL's point that the fans don't like anyone involved. Cesaro gets out of the hold, and hits a springboard uppercut followed by a dead lift gutwrench suplex. Swagger, in turn, comes right back with a backdrop and a Swagger Bomb for two. Cesaro fights out of a corner, and sends them both outside via a clothesline as we go to break.
Back from break, Cesaro fights off a superplex attempt, then a running throw attempt, before hitting a diving uppercut from the top for two. Cesaro charges into a back elbow, followed by a big boot for two. Cesaro raises his boot to block a Swagger Bomb, but Swagger manages to get the Patriot Lock. Cesaro escapes, but Swagger takes him down for two. Cesaro scores with yet another uppercut, followed by a Tiger Driver, the CESARO SWING, and the Neutralizer to finish.
***1/2 I really liked this match, and am surprised this was apparently the blow off, unless they go Cesaro/Heyman VS Swagger/Zeb at Extreme Rules.
-The Shield come out through the crowd and Cesaro smartly bails. Swagger is not so lucky, taking a Superman Punch from Reigns, followed by a triple powerbomb, in an attempt to take Swagger out of the handicap match. The Shield warn they are just getting started.
-ON RAW: Kane killed Bryan. Bryan will still be at Raw, and Stephanie is promising a public apology to the champ.
-LATER TONIGHT: Bray Wyatt has a message for John Cena.
-Another video profile on Paige airs.
-Match 2: Tamina VS Natalya
-Just as Cole & JBL hype Tamina, Natalya completely dominates the opening moments of the match. Natalya hits a dropkick to send Tamina to the apron, but Tamina yanks Natalya by the hair and sends her crashing to the floor. Tamina throws her jacket at Natalya, then rolls her back inside before getting a two count. Natalya gets a small package for two, then a discus clothesline for another two count after Tamina fights off the Sharpshooter. Tamina fights off a roll-up, then catches Natalya with a kick to the face for the pin.
** Decent enough, but I have to question Tamina getting dominated for the most part like that before her big title shot.
-A video recaps the Shield/Evolution feud so far.
-The Shield meet up with 3MB backstage. It does not go well for 3MB. Slater's sell of knowing he's about to die is awesome.
-Vickie has a phone conversation with Triple H, who tells her to take the rest of the night off and leave Brad Maddox in charge. She is NOT happy. Maddox says he'll make The Shield RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH.
-Match 3: Jey Uso (w/Jimmy Uso) VS Curtis Axel (w/Ryback)
-No entrances for anyone. They slug it out to start, then Axel hits an awkward running knee to the head. Axel follows up with a backbreaker and a forearm drop for two. Axel misses a splash in the corner, and Jey makes his comeback. Jey goes up, but Ryback causes a distraction, allowing Axel to regain control, and finish with the Axel neckbreaker.
** Watchable match to build to the tag title match at Extreme Rules.
-Bray Wyatt is next.
-BOLIEVE
-FROM RAW: Cena beats the Wyatts by himself, but gets laid out afterward.
-Bray cuts a sweet promo from inside a cage, with Harper & Rowan also inside. He loves that the WWE Universe would rather see Cena suffer than see him smile. Wyatt claims to be the conscience of a world that has thrown itself away to mortal monsters. Bray says he can see it now: all of Cena's fans turning on Cena to follow him.
-Match 4: Luke Harper & Erik Rowan (w/Bray Wyatt) VS The Brotherhood
-Cody starts with Harper, and hits a dropkick to the knee. Harper grabs Cody's face, but Cody fights back, and tags are made on both ends. Goldust gets Rowan down and tags Cody, who hits an uppercut. Bray gets on the mic and basically asks the crowd "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?" as the Family take over on Cody. Cody plays FIP, including a spot where Harper knocked Goldust off the apron, so Goldust wasn't there when Cody went to make a tag. Cody hits the Disaster Kick, and tags Goldust. The faces clean house, but Harper sends Goldust into Cody, which knocks Cody off the top into the barricade, then Harper finishes with distracted Goldust with a spinning clothesline.
***1/2 Good ring work coupled with good story telling = a happy Newb.
-The Shield take Maddox out. Ambrose's dive behind the couch to get him some is awesome.
-The Shield beat the shit out of Fandango and triple powerbomb him off the stage, thankfully saving us from Fandango/Layla VS Santino/Emma part 37.
-It's party time...ALL THE TIME!
-The whole murder of Daniel Bryan by Kane from Raw is replayed.
-ON MONDAY: Barrett VS RVD in the finals of the IC #1 Contender's Tournament.
-The Shield make their entrance.
-Match 5: The Shield VS Ryback, Bad News Barrett, Titus O'Neill, Damien Sandow, & Alberto Del Rio
-Ryback immediately takes Rollins down with a headlock. Rollins escapes, and hits a nice dropkick before tagging in Reigns. Reigns pounds away in the corner before tagging in Ambrose. The Shield triple team Ryback, who manages to catch a flying Rollins and slam him before tagging in Titus. Titus hits a slam, but he can't keep the advantage long, and he gets stuck in the Shield's corner. After taking some punishment, Titus powers Ambrose into the heel corner and tags Barrett. Rollins & Ambrose hit a double team suplex on Barrett, then clean house as we go to break.
Back from break, Barrett gets Ambrose in a chinlock. Ambrose gets out, but goes after the other heels instead of trying to make a tag, and walks into a big boot from Barrett, who tags in ADR. After Ambrose fights out of another headlock, ADR sends him outside, where Ryback whiffs badly on a punch to the head. Ryback gets in, and slaps on a headlock. Ambrose uses leverage to send Ryback into the corner, but walks into a huge spinebuster for two. Rollins tries to help, but gets casually tossed aside by Ryback.
Reigns gets the hot tag and cleans house, hitting a modified Blue Thunder on Sandow. Titus & Ryback get involved, then taken out in short order. Reigns hits the floor-to-apron dropkick on Sandow, and calls for the Superman Punch. ADR & Barrett look to get in, but then back off from Reigns before taking a walk. Reigns tags Rollins, who hits a dive on Ryback, then he & Ambrose hit stereo suicide dives on Sandow & Titus. Out on the ramp, Barrett shoves ADR into the path of a Superman Punch from Reigns, who comes out of nowhere. Awesome! Back to the ring. Reigns finishes Sandow with a spear.
***1/2 This was pretty fun. Not up to the best of the Shield tag matches, but it told a good story and made the Shield look like the baddest mother fuckers ever.
-Reigns adds a spear to Titus, then Ryback takes a triple powerbomb to close the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: I really liked this show. The in-ring stuff was good for the most part, and there were plenty of good stories being told to build to the near future. Can't ask for more than that.
NXT 4/24
-The show opens with Divas/NXT Women's Champion Paige walking backstage, where she runs into NXT GM JBL, who strips her of the NXT title. Paige is miffed at that to begin with, but relents after JBL butters her up a bit.
-Lana opens the show proper by introducing Alexander Rusev.
-Hosts are Rich Brennan, Alex Riley, & Jason Albert
-Match 1: Alexander Rusev (w/Lana) VS Travis Tyler
-Tyler hits a dropkick...and that's it for his offense. Rusev runs through his usual offense, finish with the camel clutch.
-SQUASH The crowd getting behind the poor jobber was pretty funny.
-Adam Rose gets carried into his interview segment. He says Comacho is a boring party pooper.
-Match 2: The BFFS VS Emma & Divas Champion Paige
-The Paige reveal is done during commercial, presumably because she was carrying the NXT title belt when this was taped. Emma turns her back on Sasha, and gets rammed into the turnbuckles for it. She fires right back anyway, including noticing a blind tag to Charlotte, taking care of both heels and hitting Charlotte with a monkey flip. Paige tags in, and the faces hit a double team suplex on Charlotte. Charlotte gets a leglock, but Paige escapes and elbows her in the head, leading to a Flair Flop from Charlotte. Paige gets two, then tags Emma, who promptly cedes control to Charlotte.
Charlotte can't quite pull off landing on her feet after a monkey flip, and she tags Sasha. Sasha gets a Thesz Press, and Emma officially becomes a FIP. Charlotte gets a headscissors and turns it into a Skullfucker. Brennan compares the move to a figure 4, which completely flummoxes Albert. Emma finally turns it into a pin to force a break, but she can't make the tag until scoring with a clothesline. Paige hits Sasha with short-arm clotheslines and goes for the Scorpion Crosslock, but Charlotte hits a vicious low dropkick to break that up. Charlotte takes care of Emma, tags in, and hits her flipping neckbreaker for the upset pin.
**1/2 Decent enough tag formula work. I would be very surprised if Charlotte doesn't win the women's ittle tournament.
-Match 3: Tyson Kidd VS Mason Ryan
-Kidd gets the NXT version of a star entrance, then the announce team immediately talk about how much better his wife is doing than him. Mason Ryan gets ZERO reaction. Remember when he was going to be the next big thing? Kidd uses his speed and kicks at Ryan's legs, but gets caught and sent back into the corner. Ryan hits a slam and a legdrop for two, but Kidd comes back with kicks to get Ryan down. Kidd hits a slingshot legdrop a la Jerry Lynn for two, then goes for a front facelock. Ryan escapes, then counters a slingshot into a gorilla press slam in a cool spot. Kidd counters an avalanche with boots to the face, then finishes with a Blockbuster.
* Not good at all, aside from the one cool counter by Ryan.
-Rene Young interviews Kidd, who considers his comeback a rebirth, and this a good time to be on NXT. Well, he's not winning anything on the main roster, so it probably is a good spot for him.
-Match 4: Angelo Dawkins VS Tyler Breeze
-Dawkins is apparently a wrestling Urkel, which makes me realize that I miss Percy Watson. Dawkins gets a rollup for one, then a waistlock takedown, which pisses Breeze off something fierce. Breeze fires back and hits a kick to the back for two, and accidentally gets called a woman by Brennan. Breeze hits the chinlock, but Dawkins fights out. Breeze hits a kick to the midsection and some mounted punches before finishing with the Beauty Shot spinning heel kick. Yeah, he needs a new finisher.
1/2* The gimmick is there for Breeze. The ring work is not.
-LAST WEEK: Adrian Neville barely survives Brodus Clay in the ring, but gets attacked backstage, and loses some teeth.
-Match 5: NXT Tag Team Champions The Ascension & Corey Graves VS WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos & Sami Zayn
-I did not recognize Graves as Sterling James Keenan until stumbling upon that fact on wikipedia. I do remember the collective "WTF?" reaction on DVDVR when he was signed though. One of the Usos starts with Victor, and hits a chop to the throat to send him down, and Victor tags Graves, so Uso tags Zayn. Graves decides to tag Konnor rather than fight Zayn. Konnor gets Zayn down so Graves tags in, only to get taken down in turn, and Zayn hits some mounted punches to send Graves running again. Zayn catches Victor with a leg lariat, then tags in one of the Usos. The Usos double team Victor, and Jimmy gets a two count. Victor tries ramming the Usos' heads together, which they of course no-sell before dancing and slugging Victor down.
Jey hits a big shoulderblock for two, then tags in Jimmy. Jimmy works the arm, then tags in Zayn for more of the same, then he tags in Jey to keep it going. Jey stops to work the crowd, and gets caught with a huge clothesline and forced into the heel corner. Konnor gets in and works Jey over as Brennan awkwardly calls a replay that isn't actually shown on screen. Konnor hits a flapjack as we go to break.
Back from break, and Jey continues to play FIP, getting worked over by The Ascension. Graves gets in, and hits a front suplex followed by a fistdrop for two.Graves keeps control via a headlock, and Victor tags in. Victor hits some stomps and chops, and wins a strike exchange for two. Jey counters another headlock into a belly-to-back suplex, but Konnor prevents a tag. Jey gets a sunset flip for two, then a desperation punch to the face. Konnor prevents another tag and Victor gets in, but Victor immediately allows the hot tag to Jimmy, who cleans house. Jimmy catches both members of Ascension with Samoan Drops, followed by the ATM on Victor.
Graves tags in and is immediately caught with a small package for two. Zayn tags in, and hits a cross-body off the top for two. Graves blocks the Heluva Kick, but falls victim to Blue Thunder for two. The Usos take care of Ascension, and Zayn hits the Heluva Kick. Jimmy (I think) tags in, as Jey & Zayn hit stereo dives on Ascension, and Jimmy finishes Graves with a big splash off the top.
*** Pretty good tag formula work. I understand an Uso pinning Graves as they had to win here, but you don't want either of The Ascension taking the fall, and they can't let Zayn pin Graves just yet.
-The faces dance to close the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: Pretty good show this week, thanks mostly to the main event, and no thanks to the announce team, who were really awful, especially Brennan. I know there was another taping leading to a future NXT special, so I'm interested in seeing how things shake out over the next few weeks.
-Lana opens the show proper by introducing Alexander Rusev.
-Hosts are Rich Brennan, Alex Riley, & Jason Albert
-Match 1: Alexander Rusev (w/Lana) VS Travis Tyler
-Tyler hits a dropkick...and that's it for his offense. Rusev runs through his usual offense, finish with the camel clutch.
-SQUASH The crowd getting behind the poor jobber was pretty funny.
-Adam Rose gets carried into his interview segment. He says Comacho is a boring party pooper.
-Match 2: The BFFS VS Emma & Divas Champion Paige
-The Paige reveal is done during commercial, presumably because she was carrying the NXT title belt when this was taped. Emma turns her back on Sasha, and gets rammed into the turnbuckles for it. She fires right back anyway, including noticing a blind tag to Charlotte, taking care of both heels and hitting Charlotte with a monkey flip. Paige tags in, and the faces hit a double team suplex on Charlotte. Charlotte gets a leglock, but Paige escapes and elbows her in the head, leading to a Flair Flop from Charlotte. Paige gets two, then tags Emma, who promptly cedes control to Charlotte.
Charlotte can't quite pull off landing on her feet after a monkey flip, and she tags Sasha. Sasha gets a Thesz Press, and Emma officially becomes a FIP. Charlotte gets a headscissors and turns it into a Skullfucker. Brennan compares the move to a figure 4, which completely flummoxes Albert. Emma finally turns it into a pin to force a break, but she can't make the tag until scoring with a clothesline. Paige hits Sasha with short-arm clotheslines and goes for the Scorpion Crosslock, but Charlotte hits a vicious low dropkick to break that up. Charlotte takes care of Emma, tags in, and hits her flipping neckbreaker for the upset pin.
**1/2 Decent enough tag formula work. I would be very surprised if Charlotte doesn't win the women's ittle tournament.
-Match 3: Tyson Kidd VS Mason Ryan
-Kidd gets the NXT version of a star entrance, then the announce team immediately talk about how much better his wife is doing than him. Mason Ryan gets ZERO reaction. Remember when he was going to be the next big thing? Kidd uses his speed and kicks at Ryan's legs, but gets caught and sent back into the corner. Ryan hits a slam and a legdrop for two, but Kidd comes back with kicks to get Ryan down. Kidd hits a slingshot legdrop a la Jerry Lynn for two, then goes for a front facelock. Ryan escapes, then counters a slingshot into a gorilla press slam in a cool spot. Kidd counters an avalanche with boots to the face, then finishes with a Blockbuster.
* Not good at all, aside from the one cool counter by Ryan.
-Rene Young interviews Kidd, who considers his comeback a rebirth, and this a good time to be on NXT. Well, he's not winning anything on the main roster, so it probably is a good spot for him.
-Match 4: Angelo Dawkins VS Tyler Breeze
-Dawkins is apparently a wrestling Urkel, which makes me realize that I miss Percy Watson. Dawkins gets a rollup for one, then a waistlock takedown, which pisses Breeze off something fierce. Breeze fires back and hits a kick to the back for two, and accidentally gets called a woman by Brennan. Breeze hits the chinlock, but Dawkins fights out. Breeze hits a kick to the midsection and some mounted punches before finishing with the Beauty Shot spinning heel kick. Yeah, he needs a new finisher.
1/2* The gimmick is there for Breeze. The ring work is not.
-LAST WEEK: Adrian Neville barely survives Brodus Clay in the ring, but gets attacked backstage, and loses some teeth.
-Match 5: NXT Tag Team Champions The Ascension & Corey Graves VS WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos & Sami Zayn
-I did not recognize Graves as Sterling James Keenan until stumbling upon that fact on wikipedia. I do remember the collective "WTF?" reaction on DVDVR when he was signed though. One of the Usos starts with Victor, and hits a chop to the throat to send him down, and Victor tags Graves, so Uso tags Zayn. Graves decides to tag Konnor rather than fight Zayn. Konnor gets Zayn down so Graves tags in, only to get taken down in turn, and Zayn hits some mounted punches to send Graves running again. Zayn catches Victor with a leg lariat, then tags in one of the Usos. The Usos double team Victor, and Jimmy gets a two count. Victor tries ramming the Usos' heads together, which they of course no-sell before dancing and slugging Victor down.
Jey hits a big shoulderblock for two, then tags in Jimmy. Jimmy works the arm, then tags in Zayn for more of the same, then he tags in Jey to keep it going. Jey stops to work the crowd, and gets caught with a huge clothesline and forced into the heel corner. Konnor gets in and works Jey over as Brennan awkwardly calls a replay that isn't actually shown on screen. Konnor hits a flapjack as we go to break.
Back from break, and Jey continues to play FIP, getting worked over by The Ascension. Graves gets in, and hits a front suplex followed by a fistdrop for two.Graves keeps control via a headlock, and Victor tags in. Victor hits some stomps and chops, and wins a strike exchange for two. Jey counters another headlock into a belly-to-back suplex, but Konnor prevents a tag. Jey gets a sunset flip for two, then a desperation punch to the face. Konnor prevents another tag and Victor gets in, but Victor immediately allows the hot tag to Jimmy, who cleans house. Jimmy catches both members of Ascension with Samoan Drops, followed by the ATM on Victor.
Graves tags in and is immediately caught with a small package for two. Zayn tags in, and hits a cross-body off the top for two. Graves blocks the Heluva Kick, but falls victim to Blue Thunder for two. The Usos take care of Ascension, and Zayn hits the Heluva Kick. Jimmy (I think) tags in, as Jey & Zayn hit stereo dives on Ascension, and Jimmy finishes Graves with a big splash off the top.
*** Pretty good tag formula work. I understand an Uso pinning Graves as they had to win here, but you don't want either of The Ascension taking the fall, and they can't let Zayn pin Graves just yet.
-The faces dance to close the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: Pretty good show this week, thanks mostly to the main event, and no thanks to the announce team, who were really awful, especially Brennan. I know there was another taping leading to a future NXT special, so I'm interested in seeing how things shake out over the next few weeks.
Main Event 4/22/14
-Didn't feel like doing this week's show until now.
-Hosts are Byron Saxton & Tom Phillips
-Match 1: Intercontinental Champion Big E VS Alberto Del Rio
-Big E draws some "oooohs" with a leapfrog, then hits a shoulderblock followed by a clothesline to send ADR outside. ADR fires back, and hits a tornado DDT for two before hitting a chinlock. Big E fights out and hits a couple clotheslines, but ADR escapes a belly-to-belly with headbutts, then hits a low superkick for two. ADR goes up top, but gets caught on the way down, and Big E hits a belly-to-belly, followed by a big splash. Big E tries to finish, but ADR escapes, and hits a running enziguiri for two. Big E fights off the cross-armbreaker, then another tornado DDT attempt before hitting the Big Ending for the win.
** The match wasn't as good as Smackdown, but at least the finish was a lot better.
-Barrett has some bad news for Big E: his days as champion are numbered, and he's been a horrible champion. Plus he is boring and stupid. Barrett promises to end Big E's career, then he can be like the crowd, who mostly have crappy lives, or no lives at all.
-Match 2: Hornswoggle (w/3MB) VS El Torito (w/Los Matadores)
-They do some chain wrestling to start, and 3MB get frustrated as Torito gets the better of it. Torito hits a dropkick, but Hornswoggle comes back, and hits a pretty nasty kick to the head before adding a "Tribute to Layfield" clothesline for two. Torito comes back with a cross-body and a couple dropkicks, followed by the Bronco Buster. Torito looks to finish, but Slater provides a distraction, allowing Hornswoggle to hit the Tadpole Splash to finish. "No end in sight to this rivalry" says Phillips. Joy.
1/2* Not as entertaining as round one, mainly because Saxton & Phillips tried to copy Cole & JBL's commentary, failing miserable.
-FROM RAW: Evolution & The Shield talk some shit.
-The poor Bunny will never get over losing at Hungry, Hungry Hippos.
-Match 3: Sheamus VS Titus O'Neill
-They exchange strikes to start, until Titus goes for the Irish Hand Grenade. Sheamus blocks, but Titus knocks Sheamus off the apron to counter a shoulderblock, then barks. Titus sends Sheamus into the barricade, then gets one (two if you're Phillips) off that. Sheamus comes back with Irish Hammers, followed by a kneelift and a high knee in the corner followed by the Irish Hand Grenade. Sheamus goes for a cross-body, but Titus catches him, and hits a fallaway slam. That's pretty impressive. Titus wins a slugfest, then cuts off a comeback attempt with a big boot. Titus hits a Colt 45 for two, then talks some shit while slapping Sheamus in the face. Titus looks to finish, but Sheamus shoves him away, then hits the Brogue Kick for the pin.
*** Pretty good step up for Titus who looked good here. He really needs a win one of these days though.
-Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present. BOLIEVE.
-FROM RAW: Kane kills Bryan. Bryan says he'll be on Raw Monday.
-Match 4: WWE Tag Team Champion Jimmy Uso (w/Jey Uso) VS Ryback (w/Curtis Axel)
-Uso immediately knocks Ryback outside, and follows with a dive. Back in, Ryback chops Uso down, then applies a headlock while telling the already quiet crowd to shut up. Uso escapes, and Ryback bails to avoid a superkick. Uso follows, and sends Ryback into the post as we go to break.
Back from break, Ryback has taken control, and gets a near-fall. Ryback hits a big delayed vertical suplex for two, and slugs away before applying a chinlock. Ryback hits a spinebuster, then pounds his chest King Kong style, before hitting the Meathook for two. Uso counters a second try at it and makes a brief comeback, but Ryback cuts him off. Uso avoids a powerslam and sends Ryback into the post, but he then runs into a big boot for two. Uso backdrops out of a powerbomb attempt, and makes a proper comeback. Uso hits a Samoan Drop, then hits a cross-body off the top for two. Uso hits an ATM for two, and the announcers still credit Rikishi with that move, despite it being an Umaga signature.
They meet at the top where Uso knocks Ryback down. Jey takes care of Axel, but the distraction allows Ryback to clobber Jimmy and finish with Shell Shocked.
** Not bad, but not particularly good either. It was way too long and didn't keep my interest.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: A better show than the last couple weeks, thanks mostly to Sheamus/Titus.
-Hosts are Byron Saxton & Tom Phillips
-Match 1: Intercontinental Champion Big E VS Alberto Del Rio
-Big E draws some "oooohs" with a leapfrog, then hits a shoulderblock followed by a clothesline to send ADR outside. ADR fires back, and hits a tornado DDT for two before hitting a chinlock. Big E fights out and hits a couple clotheslines, but ADR escapes a belly-to-belly with headbutts, then hits a low superkick for two. ADR goes up top, but gets caught on the way down, and Big E hits a belly-to-belly, followed by a big splash. Big E tries to finish, but ADR escapes, and hits a running enziguiri for two. Big E fights off the cross-armbreaker, then another tornado DDT attempt before hitting the Big Ending for the win.
** The match wasn't as good as Smackdown, but at least the finish was a lot better.
-Barrett has some bad news for Big E: his days as champion are numbered, and he's been a horrible champion. Plus he is boring and stupid. Barrett promises to end Big E's career, then he can be like the crowd, who mostly have crappy lives, or no lives at all.
-Match 2: Hornswoggle (w/3MB) VS El Torito (w/Los Matadores)
-They do some chain wrestling to start, and 3MB get frustrated as Torito gets the better of it. Torito hits a dropkick, but Hornswoggle comes back, and hits a pretty nasty kick to the head before adding a "Tribute to Layfield" clothesline for two. Torito comes back with a cross-body and a couple dropkicks, followed by the Bronco Buster. Torito looks to finish, but Slater provides a distraction, allowing Hornswoggle to hit the Tadpole Splash to finish. "No end in sight to this rivalry" says Phillips. Joy.
1/2* Not as entertaining as round one, mainly because Saxton & Phillips tried to copy Cole & JBL's commentary, failing miserable.
-FROM RAW: Evolution & The Shield talk some shit.
-The poor Bunny will never get over losing at Hungry, Hungry Hippos.
-Match 3: Sheamus VS Titus O'Neill
-They exchange strikes to start, until Titus goes for the Irish Hand Grenade. Sheamus blocks, but Titus knocks Sheamus off the apron to counter a shoulderblock, then barks. Titus sends Sheamus into the barricade, then gets one (two if you're Phillips) off that. Sheamus comes back with Irish Hammers, followed by a kneelift and a high knee in the corner followed by the Irish Hand Grenade. Sheamus goes for a cross-body, but Titus catches him, and hits a fallaway slam. That's pretty impressive. Titus wins a slugfest, then cuts off a comeback attempt with a big boot. Titus hits a Colt 45 for two, then talks some shit while slapping Sheamus in the face. Titus looks to finish, but Sheamus shoves him away, then hits the Brogue Kick for the pin.
*** Pretty good step up for Titus who looked good here. He really needs a win one of these days though.
-Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present. BOLIEVE.
-FROM RAW: Kane kills Bryan. Bryan says he'll be on Raw Monday.
-Match 4: WWE Tag Team Champion Jimmy Uso (w/Jey Uso) VS Ryback (w/Curtis Axel)
-Uso immediately knocks Ryback outside, and follows with a dive. Back in, Ryback chops Uso down, then applies a headlock while telling the already quiet crowd to shut up. Uso escapes, and Ryback bails to avoid a superkick. Uso follows, and sends Ryback into the post as we go to break.
Back from break, Ryback has taken control, and gets a near-fall. Ryback hits a big delayed vertical suplex for two, and slugs away before applying a chinlock. Ryback hits a spinebuster, then pounds his chest King Kong style, before hitting the Meathook for two. Uso counters a second try at it and makes a brief comeback, but Ryback cuts him off. Uso avoids a powerslam and sends Ryback into the post, but he then runs into a big boot for two. Uso backdrops out of a powerbomb attempt, and makes a proper comeback. Uso hits a Samoan Drop, then hits a cross-body off the top for two. Uso hits an ATM for two, and the announcers still credit Rikishi with that move, despite it being an Umaga signature.
They meet at the top where Uso knocks Ryback down. Jey takes care of Axel, but the distraction allows Ryback to clobber Jimmy and finish with Shell Shocked.
** Not bad, but not particularly good either. It was way too long and didn't keep my interest.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: A better show than the last couple weeks, thanks mostly to Sheamus/Titus.
Friday, April 25, 2014
TNA Impact Wrestling 4/24/14
-Kurt Angle warns Spud & EC3 that if Spud backs out of their match tonight, Angle will come for EC3.
-TWO WEEKS AGO: Eric Young wins the world title. Then LAST WEEK he defends it against Abyss in a "Monster's Ball" match.
-Hosts are Tenay & Tazz
-A not-happy Magnus comes to the ring, with a turnbuckle piece in hand, and almost starts with "this is your champion speaking", but stops himself. He doesn't blame himself for his title loss, he blames Abyss for not helping him. Magnus calls out Abyss, and says he's a disappointment, and that's why everyone in his life abandons him. Magnus says he asked Abyss to do one thing: keep the world title on Magnus. Abyss responds that MVP said that if anyone interfered in the title match they'd be fired. Magnus points out that Abyss doesn't work for MVP or TNA, he works for Magnus. Well, worked for Magnus, since he's fired. Abyss says it was never about the money, it was about being Magnus' friend, but now he sees that Magnus is a dick in so many words). Abyss is ready to go back to hurting people, and he wants to start with Magnus. Magnus replies that Abyss is not a contracted wrestler and thus a civilian, so if Abyss touched Magnus, Abyss will be arrested.
This brings out MVP, who wants to give Abyss a second chance, in the form of a match against Magnus, and if Abyss wins, he gets a new TNA contract. After MVP skips away, Abyss tells Magnus that he never liked him, and tonight he's going to kick Magnus' ass.
-TONIGHT: Beer Money VS Bully Ray & Gunner
-NEXT: Spud gets killed by Angle.
-Spud doesn't want to hear any speeches from EC3. EC3 responds that the only man who can beat Angle is himself, and tonight he needs Spud to be a gazelle.
-Match 1: Kurt Angle VS Rockstar Spud (w/Ethan Carter III)
-Spud wants no part of this at all. Can't say I blame him. Spud tries for a single-leg, and gets thrown across the ring for it. Spud tries kicking at the bad knee next, but then runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Spud gets Kurt to chase him around the ring, and EC3 holds Angle's legs as he tries to slide back in, allowing Spud to hit a baseball slide, followed by a missile dropkick. Spud tries for a second missile dropkick, but Angle runs the ropes to hit a throw, then finishes with an anklelock.
**1/2 Enteraining enough squash, thanks mostly to Spud.
-EC3 clips Angle's bad knee, but Willow makes the save before more damage can be done.
-The Beautiful People promise to give Madison Rayne a makeover in an extremely badly-acted promo.
-Kenny King annoys MVP by lounging in MVP's office, so MVP gives King a match for tonight.
-Madison Rayne calls out the Beautiful People. The BP theorize that Madison looks tired because of her baby daughter. Madison goes on the attack, but that doesn't last long. Angelina says Madison was a nobody before she joined the BP, and that she was only allowed in to make the other members look better. Brittany fails to make the save, and the BP put a paper bag (with a pic of Angelina on it) over Madison's head.
-Mr. Anderson is in Samuel Shaw's hometown.
-Gail Kim wants to reform her team with Madison to face the BP. Madison accepts. Brittany wants to watch Madison's back, but she's good. Looks like they're setting up a Mickie/Trish situation there.
-Match 2: Kenny King VS ???
-Bobby Lashley is King's opponent. Remember when Lashley turned heel by saying he was too good for TNA, then promptly left the promotion? Good times. Lashley casually tosses King around, eating him up like a total jobber, because hey, who needs a credible heel in the X-Division? King manages to get a thumb in the eye followed by a springboard dropkick. King gets a headlock, then manages to slide out when Lashley tries to counter into a rack, but he then walks into a belly-to-belly suplex. Lashley fires back with punches and a clothesline before hitting a shoulderblock in the corner, followed by another throw.
King counters a spear and hits a kick to the head, but gets caught flying off the top right into a suplex. Well that was cool. Lashley goes for the spear again, but King rolls outside, and takes a walk for the count out.
*1/2 The catch into a suplex was nice, but this didn't do anything for King at all, and King is the one with a possible future, not Lashley.
-Mr. Anderson meets Samuel Shaw's mom Christy, who acts like a female version of him. He is understandably freaked out.
-James Storm & Robert Roode rehash old history.
-Match 3: Austin Aries VS MVP
-They go through a chain wrestling sequence that ends with Aries doing his usual counter to a headscissors. MVP comes back with a jawbuster and calls for the Ballin' Elbow, but Aries bails. MVP sends Aries back in, but Aries hits a running dropkick to MVP's knee, followed by a double axe off the top to the floor. Back in Aries hits a slingshot senton followed by a diving elbowdrop for two, followed by an elbow off the second rope for two. MVP avoids the IED, and goes to work with clotheslines in the corner.
MVP goes for...something, and Aries bites him to counter. MVP comes right back with a series of forearms, followed by a lariat for two. MVP goes Ballin', but Aries counters a waistlock with a back elbow, then hits a discus forearm to knock MVP for a loop. MVP counters a brainbuster and hits a release German suplex. MVP goes for the Drive By, but Aries blocks and hits his shinbreaker/teardrop suplex combo. Aries hits the IED for two, but misses the 450, and MVP hits the Drive By for the pin.
**3/4 Decent enough, but I'm not sure what this was meant to accomplish. This really should have been on PPV, and given PPV time.
-Another video profiles Sanada.
-Mr. Anderson gets some iced tea from Mrs. Shaw, who is also baking him his daily apple pie. Sam lives in the basement, despite having his own, very nice apartment when he was first introduced.
-Match 4: Beer Money VS Bully Ray & Gunner
-Match is JIP after a break, with Storm having Bully in a side headlock. Bully fights out, then casually takes control of both heels before tagging in Gunner. Storm manages to poke Gunner in the eye and tag Roode, who immediately cedes control back to Gunner, and Bully gets back in. Bully fights off both opponents again, until Storm manages to pull Bully down and crotch him on the post, before noting that Bully is fat.
Bully plays FIP for a while, before catching Roode with a sidewalk slam. Gunner gets the hot tag and cleans house, hitting a slingshot suplex on Storm for two, with Roode making the save. Bully & Gunner hit the WHAZZUP headbutt on Storm, with Gunner somehow managing to be even less graceful than D-Von. Bully tells Gunner to GET THE TABLES, but Bully is so fucking slow going to elbowdrop Storm through it, it gives Storm time to move, and Bully crashes through the table. Gunner hits Roode with an F5, but walks into a Last Call superkick from Storm for the pin.
**1/2 This was alright I guess, but it never found a second gear, which I'm becoming more-and-more convinced doesn't exist in TNA.
-Magnus plans to teach Abyss a lesson.
-Mr. Anderson sees Shaw's bedroom, which looks like it's meant for a small child. Shaw comes home, and the cameraman smartly bails as they fight. Shaw gives his mom a creepy hug as the segments end. I'll give them points for trying something different in the Shaw character at least.
-Match 5: The Beautiful People VS Gail Kim & Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne
-Madison works Velvet over, and the crowd is SILENT. The faces finally wake them up a little bit with some double team moves, then Madison uses a Skullfucker on Velvet for two. Gail gets in, and Velvet promptly almost moves too far away from her for a flying clothesline. Angelina makes a blind tag, and the BP take over for a bit. Gail fights back and sends them both to the floor. The BP take a walk, but the faces bring them back in short order. Gail gets Angelina in a headscissors, then tags Madison. Velvet manages to ram Gail into the apron to take her out. Madison spears Velvet, but Angelina gets a roll-up and the pin with a yank of the tights.
*1/2 Nothing terrible, but the crowd couldn't care less.
-Knux's carny girlfriend urges him to go back to TNA, this time with her going with him.
-Abyss repeats what he said earlier.
-The Wolves are coming for the tag titles. This would have been better without the needless and distracting "scary" editing.
-EY joins the announce team as it's finally announced that he's defending against Magnus at the PPV Sunday.
-Match 6: Magnus VS Abyss
-Abyss beats the crap out of Magnus to start, and tosses him out over the top as we go to break seconds in.
Back from break, Magnus is working the leg until he goes for a figure 4, and gets kicked away. He then tries to use the post, but Abyss counters that too. Abyss loads up a chokeslam, so Magnus kicks him in the nuts to draw a DQ.
1/2* Barely a match.
-Magnus grabs a chair and lays waste to Abyss, actually waking the crowd up and drawing some heel heat. The crowd chants for EY who tries to make the save, only to take a low blow and some chairshots from Magnus as well. Now, with the usual laws of wrestling booking, I'm not so sure Magnus is regaining the title on Sunday.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: I didn't care about the PPV before so I'm not sure it's possible for me to care less now, but this show did nothing to change my mind. TNA simply does not have many guys who are capable of having a memorable match anymore, having gotten rid of most of their longtime "originals". I still expect a Magnus title win, with a dumb Samoa Joe heel turn in the process. I really want a Spud fluke X-Division title win and a Honky Tonk Man-esque reign. He's awesome and it would give the "division" some focus.
-TWO WEEKS AGO: Eric Young wins the world title. Then LAST WEEK he defends it against Abyss in a "Monster's Ball" match.
-Hosts are Tenay & Tazz
-A not-happy Magnus comes to the ring, with a turnbuckle piece in hand, and almost starts with "this is your champion speaking", but stops himself. He doesn't blame himself for his title loss, he blames Abyss for not helping him. Magnus calls out Abyss, and says he's a disappointment, and that's why everyone in his life abandons him. Magnus says he asked Abyss to do one thing: keep the world title on Magnus. Abyss responds that MVP said that if anyone interfered in the title match they'd be fired. Magnus points out that Abyss doesn't work for MVP or TNA, he works for Magnus. Well, worked for Magnus, since he's fired. Abyss says it was never about the money, it was about being Magnus' friend, but now he sees that Magnus is a dick in so many words). Abyss is ready to go back to hurting people, and he wants to start with Magnus. Magnus replies that Abyss is not a contracted wrestler and thus a civilian, so if Abyss touched Magnus, Abyss will be arrested.
This brings out MVP, who wants to give Abyss a second chance, in the form of a match against Magnus, and if Abyss wins, he gets a new TNA contract. After MVP skips away, Abyss tells Magnus that he never liked him, and tonight he's going to kick Magnus' ass.
-TONIGHT: Beer Money VS Bully Ray & Gunner
-NEXT: Spud gets killed by Angle.
-Spud doesn't want to hear any speeches from EC3. EC3 responds that the only man who can beat Angle is himself, and tonight he needs Spud to be a gazelle.
-Match 1: Kurt Angle VS Rockstar Spud (w/Ethan Carter III)
-Spud wants no part of this at all. Can't say I blame him. Spud tries for a single-leg, and gets thrown across the ring for it. Spud tries kicking at the bad knee next, but then runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Spud gets Kurt to chase him around the ring, and EC3 holds Angle's legs as he tries to slide back in, allowing Spud to hit a baseball slide, followed by a missile dropkick. Spud tries for a second missile dropkick, but Angle runs the ropes to hit a throw, then finishes with an anklelock.
**1/2 Enteraining enough squash, thanks mostly to Spud.
-EC3 clips Angle's bad knee, but Willow makes the save before more damage can be done.
-The Beautiful People promise to give Madison Rayne a makeover in an extremely badly-acted promo.
-Kenny King annoys MVP by lounging in MVP's office, so MVP gives King a match for tonight.
-Madison Rayne calls out the Beautiful People. The BP theorize that Madison looks tired because of her baby daughter. Madison goes on the attack, but that doesn't last long. Angelina says Madison was a nobody before she joined the BP, and that she was only allowed in to make the other members look better. Brittany fails to make the save, and the BP put a paper bag (with a pic of Angelina on it) over Madison's head.
-Mr. Anderson is in Samuel Shaw's hometown.
-Gail Kim wants to reform her team with Madison to face the BP. Madison accepts. Brittany wants to watch Madison's back, but she's good. Looks like they're setting up a Mickie/Trish situation there.
-Match 2: Kenny King VS ???
-Bobby Lashley is King's opponent. Remember when Lashley turned heel by saying he was too good for TNA, then promptly left the promotion? Good times. Lashley casually tosses King around, eating him up like a total jobber, because hey, who needs a credible heel in the X-Division? King manages to get a thumb in the eye followed by a springboard dropkick. King gets a headlock, then manages to slide out when Lashley tries to counter into a rack, but he then walks into a belly-to-belly suplex. Lashley fires back with punches and a clothesline before hitting a shoulderblock in the corner, followed by another throw.
King counters a spear and hits a kick to the head, but gets caught flying off the top right into a suplex. Well that was cool. Lashley goes for the spear again, but King rolls outside, and takes a walk for the count out.
*1/2 The catch into a suplex was nice, but this didn't do anything for King at all, and King is the one with a possible future, not Lashley.
-Mr. Anderson meets Samuel Shaw's mom Christy, who acts like a female version of him. He is understandably freaked out.
-James Storm & Robert Roode rehash old history.
-Match 3: Austin Aries VS MVP
-They go through a chain wrestling sequence that ends with Aries doing his usual counter to a headscissors. MVP comes back with a jawbuster and calls for the Ballin' Elbow, but Aries bails. MVP sends Aries back in, but Aries hits a running dropkick to MVP's knee, followed by a double axe off the top to the floor. Back in Aries hits a slingshot senton followed by a diving elbowdrop for two, followed by an elbow off the second rope for two. MVP avoids the IED, and goes to work with clotheslines in the corner.
MVP goes for...something, and Aries bites him to counter. MVP comes right back with a series of forearms, followed by a lariat for two. MVP goes Ballin', but Aries counters a waistlock with a back elbow, then hits a discus forearm to knock MVP for a loop. MVP counters a brainbuster and hits a release German suplex. MVP goes for the Drive By, but Aries blocks and hits his shinbreaker/teardrop suplex combo. Aries hits the IED for two, but misses the 450, and MVP hits the Drive By for the pin.
**3/4 Decent enough, but I'm not sure what this was meant to accomplish. This really should have been on PPV, and given PPV time.
-Another video profiles Sanada.
-Mr. Anderson gets some iced tea from Mrs. Shaw, who is also baking him his daily apple pie. Sam lives in the basement, despite having his own, very nice apartment when he was first introduced.
-Match 4: Beer Money VS Bully Ray & Gunner
-Match is JIP after a break, with Storm having Bully in a side headlock. Bully fights out, then casually takes control of both heels before tagging in Gunner. Storm manages to poke Gunner in the eye and tag Roode, who immediately cedes control back to Gunner, and Bully gets back in. Bully fights off both opponents again, until Storm manages to pull Bully down and crotch him on the post, before noting that Bully is fat.
Bully plays FIP for a while, before catching Roode with a sidewalk slam. Gunner gets the hot tag and cleans house, hitting a slingshot suplex on Storm for two, with Roode making the save. Bully & Gunner hit the WHAZZUP headbutt on Storm, with Gunner somehow managing to be even less graceful than D-Von. Bully tells Gunner to GET THE TABLES, but Bully is so fucking slow going to elbowdrop Storm through it, it gives Storm time to move, and Bully crashes through the table. Gunner hits Roode with an F5, but walks into a Last Call superkick from Storm for the pin.
**1/2 This was alright I guess, but it never found a second gear, which I'm becoming more-and-more convinced doesn't exist in TNA.
-Magnus plans to teach Abyss a lesson.
-Mr. Anderson sees Shaw's bedroom, which looks like it's meant for a small child. Shaw comes home, and the cameraman smartly bails as they fight. Shaw gives his mom a creepy hug as the segments end. I'll give them points for trying something different in the Shaw character at least.
-Match 5: The Beautiful People VS Gail Kim & Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne
-Madison works Velvet over, and the crowd is SILENT. The faces finally wake them up a little bit with some double team moves, then Madison uses a Skullfucker on Velvet for two. Gail gets in, and Velvet promptly almost moves too far away from her for a flying clothesline. Angelina makes a blind tag, and the BP take over for a bit. Gail fights back and sends them both to the floor. The BP take a walk, but the faces bring them back in short order. Gail gets Angelina in a headscissors, then tags Madison. Velvet manages to ram Gail into the apron to take her out. Madison spears Velvet, but Angelina gets a roll-up and the pin with a yank of the tights.
*1/2 Nothing terrible, but the crowd couldn't care less.
-Knux's carny girlfriend urges him to go back to TNA, this time with her going with him.
-Abyss repeats what he said earlier.
-The Wolves are coming for the tag titles. This would have been better without the needless and distracting "scary" editing.
-EY joins the announce team as it's finally announced that he's defending against Magnus at the PPV Sunday.
-Match 6: Magnus VS Abyss
-Abyss beats the crap out of Magnus to start, and tosses him out over the top as we go to break seconds in.
Back from break, Magnus is working the leg until he goes for a figure 4, and gets kicked away. He then tries to use the post, but Abyss counters that too. Abyss loads up a chokeslam, so Magnus kicks him in the nuts to draw a DQ.
1/2* Barely a match.
-Magnus grabs a chair and lays waste to Abyss, actually waking the crowd up and drawing some heel heat. The crowd chants for EY who tries to make the save, only to take a low blow and some chairshots from Magnus as well. Now, with the usual laws of wrestling booking, I'm not so sure Magnus is regaining the title on Sunday.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: I didn't care about the PPV before so I'm not sure it's possible for me to care less now, but this show did nothing to change my mind. TNA simply does not have many guys who are capable of having a memorable match anymore, having gotten rid of most of their longtime "originals". I still expect a Magnus title win, with a dumb Samoa Joe heel turn in the process. I really want a Spud fluke X-Division title win and a Honky Tonk Man-esque reign. He's awesome and it would give the "division" some focus.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Raw 4/21/14
-LAST WEEK: The Shield take a rigtheous 14-on-3 ass kicking. They will face Evolution at Extreme Rules.
-From Baltimore, MD
-Hosts are Cole, King, & JBL
-An emotional (after learning of his father's passing) Daniel Bryan kicks off the show, with his new bride already in the ring. They lead a YES chant, but before anything else can happen, Stephanie McMahon interrupts.
Stephanie insincerely congratulates the happy couple on their wedding, and gives Bryan his wedding gift from WWE: a title defense against Kane at Extreme Rules. I'm not looking forward to that at all. Stephanie warns Bryan that Kane "in demon form" is uncontrollable, and that he better get his "pretty little wife" out of harm's way. Kane's pyro goes off and his music hits, but he's nowhere to be found until Bryan & Brie get out of the ring, and Kane comes over the barricade to attack Bryan. Bryan fights off a chokeslam attempt and the two brawl on the floor while Stephanie yells for Brie to get out of dodge. Kane sends Bryan into the barricade, then gives him a well-protected tombstone on the floor as Stephanie repeatedly tells Kane "that's enough". As the crowd chants "NO" Kane delivers a second tombstone on the steps as Stephanie calls for help. The crowd chants for Bryan as he's checked out, then put on a stretcher. Kane pulls him off, and tombstones Bryan again, this time on the announce table, which for once doesn't break at the slightest provocation. Stephanie calls Kane a "bastard", which draws "OHHHHHHH"s from the crowd. This was a pretty good segment, even thought it's wasted on a throwaway title challenge from Kane.
-After a break, Bryan is stretchered away. Stephenie hangs on to both title belts and sarcastically asks for applause from the crowd. The crew recap the beatdown, then switch to talking about the IC tournament.
-Bad News Barrett has some bad news: no lucky charms can help Sheamus tonight. Barrett's catchphrases are getting over, which is a good sign.
-Match 1-Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender's Tournament Semi-Final: Wade Barrett VS Sheamus
-They slug it out, then Sheamus takes control as the crowd chants for Barrett. Sheamus hits a Finlay Roll and goes up top, but gets caught by Barrett. Sheamus fights off a superplex (ugh), then catches Barrett rushing in with a big boot to send Barrett to the floor, before hitting a plancha to the outside (!). Sheamus has his working shoes on tonight I see. Barrett fights off the Irish Hand Granade, and knocks Sheamus to the floor with a big boot of his own as we go to break.
Back from break, Sheamus scores with a poweslam, followed by a couple Irish Hammers, a high knee, the running somethingorother in the corner, and finally the Irish Hand Granade and a flying shoulderblock for two. Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for two, but Barrett avoids the Brogue Kick, and hits the Winds of Change for two. Barrett calls for the Bull Hammer, but Sheamus dodges, and hits White Noise (stopping to yell "boom!") for two, as the announce team claim that move usually gets a pin. Well that's just not true.
They trade boo (Sheamus) --- yay (Barrett) punches, then Sheamus dives at Barrett, sending them both out over the top as the crowd chants "This is Awesome!". Sheamus goes for a suicide dive, but Barrett counters with the Bull Hammer to pick up the win.
**1/2 Although this was pretty hard-fought, I didn't love it as much as Barrett VS Ziggler or as much as the crowd did, because they didn't have much to offer outside breaking out all of their signature moves. Surprised to see Sheamus drop another clean fall here.
-Evolution are here.
-BOLIEVE
-SEPTEMBER 2011: Hugh Jackman punches Dolph Ziggler, allowing Zack Ryder to actually win a match. Ziggler wants to bury the hatchet with Jackman when Jackman is on Raw next week. Damien Sandow thinks that's amusing.
-PICK HOW BAD YOU WANT TO SEE CENA DIE: You can pick Cena VS Harper, Cena VS Harper & Rowan, or Cena VS Harper, Rowan, & Bray.
-Speak of the devil, here come the Wyatts. Bray talks about remembering the first time he was struck with "truth". It was intense, but he liked it. Bray says free will is an illusion, and when that illusion is lifted, we will see the truth, but tonight is a great night for change, and that no matter the choice, Cena will see that the Family stands against him, and that the fans don't love him anymore. Bray gloats about taking more and more fans with him every time they cross paths, before leading the crowd in a sing-a-long. Great promo, with Harper & Rowan standing behind him in separate creepy-looking spotlights adding a sweet visual.
-Match 2: Los Matadores & El Torito VS 2 1/2 MB (w/Heath Slater)
-The little guys start it off and exchange slaps, then Torito hits a rana, followed by a flying headbutt. Torito hits a Bronco Buster followed by a moonsault, but Mahal saves, tossing Torito halfway across the ring. It ends up Torito VS McIntyre. Torito gores Slater in the nuts, then kicks Slater in the nuts, before Los Matadores hit their finisher on McIntyre with Torito adding a sit-down splash, and Torito pins McIntyre. Remember when Drew was the "Chosen One"?
-NO RATING At least it was short.
-Evolution arrive via limo. It's a good thing, because they're out next.
-I must say, I like the new Evolution entrance video. I think HHH has already come out to that music as many times during this reunion than he did during their original run.
HHH has some vocal issues tonight, but he compares what happened last week to someone saying that they are the baddest dudes ever, just for their daddies to come along and spank them in front of the world. Over to Orton, who says it only took one "careless" act to bring about the reformation of the group, and a video of them during the original run plays. Nice way to show the younger viewers exactly why Evolution should be feared. After the video, Batista mentions the 31 world titles between the three of them, and says The Shield have no idea what they've gotten themselves into. This brings out The Shield, and Evolution bail.
Ambrose asks HHH if they look humbled, then notes that there was a reason why HHH hired them to protect both HHH & Orton. Over to Rollins, who points out that all three guys will, when push comes to shove, look out for themselves. Rollins says they know what they're getting into because they're the ones that started this. Last up is Reigns, who gives Evolution the option of trying to fight tonight, or running away and hiding. HHH instead calls in option 3: all the guys that helped beat The Shield down last week coming out and protecting Evolution.
-EARLIER TONIGHT: Kane killed Bryan.
-It's party time, all the time! Don't be a lemon, be a rosebud!
-Rybaxel are at ringside.
-ON TOTAL DIVAS: Jimmy marries Naomi.
-Match 3: WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos VS The Brotherhood
-Guess the Usos are done with getting their asses handed to them by Batista & Orton every week. Goldust hits Jey with an inverted atomic drop, but Jey hits a couple armdrags. Jey & Goldust have a face-off, then Goldust gets a couple shots in before tagging in Cody, who slaps on a hammerlock. The Usos hit a double team hot shot, and the ref allows them to switch, and Jimmy gets two. Ryback tells a story about his dad being a bartender and serving Curt Hennig & "Razor Ramon" during their AWA days. Goldust gets back in and works Jimmy's arm as Ryback is AMAZED that Goldust can still go despite being so old. Jimmy superkicks Goldust, then Jay breaks up a Cross Rhodes attempt with another superkick for the pin.
* Not much to this one.
-Cody finally walks away from Goldust to at least start the split of this going nowhere team. Rybaxel beat the shit out of the Usos to establish them as the next challengers. This did what it needed to do on both fronts.
-Watch clay Mark Henry work at a carnival!
-Match 4: Layla (w/Fandango) VS Emma (w/Santino Marella)
-It's the feud that JUST WON'T DIE. Fandango knocks Santino off the apron, allowing Layla to get the sneak attack on Emma. Layla gets a surfboard, and Emma fights out before whiffing on an intentionally-bad dropkick. Layla talks some shit, then runs into a flying clothesline. Santino drops Fandango with the Cobra, then Emma pulls one of her socks off to reveal a female Cobra, which she uses to finish Layla.
1/2* OK, can we move on now, please?
-Santino & Emma have a "cobra" fight. Their act is cute, as long as they stay away from the more contrived stuff like that.
-Rene Young interviews John Cena, who talks about the WWE Universe having his fate in their hands, which leads to a dueling "Let's Go Cena!/Cena Sucks!" chant. Cena tells Wyatt never to count him out.
-CESARO HAS NEW MUSIC! AND IT'S TERRIBLE!
-Heyman's pre-match promo gets cut off by the commercial break.
-Back from break, Heyman is reminding the crowd what Brock Lesnar did at WrestleMania XXX.
-Match 5-Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender's Tournament Semi-Final: Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman) VS RVD
-They feel each other out, then have an awkward moment leading to RVD escaping a suplex and hitting a heel kick. Cesaro fires back with a backbreaker for two. RVD comes back again and hits a monkeyflip, but stops to point his thumbs, allowing Cesaro to hit a kick to the face, which the director misses. Cesaro hits a suplex for two, but RVD comes back with another kick. RVD blocks having his shoulder rammed into the post, but Cesaro then dropkicks RVD in the ass, and RVD cracks his shoulder as we go to break.
Back from break, Cesaro has a headlock and the crowd is DEAD. RVD fucks up a sunset flip, and Cesaro double stomps his chest anyway for two, before hitting a deadlift gutwrench suplex for another near-fall. The crowd revives long enough to call for Cesaro Swing, as Cesaro hits an uppercut, then a few moments later a forearm drop for two before going back to the headlock.
RVD fights out and kicks Cesaro in the face again, before slugging away. Yet another kick to the face leads to Rolling Thunder for two. RVD hits still another kick to the face, this time from the top, before going for the Five Star Frog Splash. Cesaro springs to life, and nearly kills RVD with an uppercut. Still yet another kick to the face by RVD leads right into a split-legged moonsault for two. Cesaro counters a kick with another uppercut, and gets two off that. They trade punches, and RVD gets a legscissors roll-up for two. Cesaro comes back with a botched Tiger Driver for two, then as Cesaro goes for the Swing, he falls victim to the most devestating move in WWE: the musical distraction. RVD kicks Cesaro to the floor.
Swagger tries to distract Cesaro, who catches a flying RVD with an uppercut anyway. As Heyman & Zeb argue, Swagger rams Cesaro into the post, and Cesaro gets counted out.
*1/4 Eh, it had its moments, but also a lot of sloppiness. RVD is completely useless at this point.
-RVD leaves, then Swagger attacks Cesaro. Cesaro backdrops Swagger to the floor, then almost gets Coulter in the Swing before Swagger saves. Cesaro then gets Swagger in the swing to prove his superiority.
-EARLIER TONIGHT: Kane killed Bryan.
-THIS JUST IN: Bryan has "only" suffered a stinger.
-LATER TONIGHT: How bad do you want John Cena to die?
-Rene Young tries to interview RVD, but Cesaro & Heyman interrupt to knock RVD for the way he won. RVD responds by warning Cesaro to get away from Heyman.
-Match 6: Aksana VS Divas Champion Paige
-Instead of taking a beatdown to start, Paige goes right on the offensive, and gets a rollup for two. Paige follows up with several knees to the ribs, but Aksana suckers Paige in by backing off. Aksana puts Paige up top, and after a shoving match, throws her off. Aksana hits a slam and some knees of her own, before using the ropes to choke Paige. Aksana slaps Paige and gets a one count before hitting the chinlock. Aksana hits some elbows to the collarbone, then a backbreaker. Paige fires back, hitting a couple short-arm clotheslines, but Aksana comes back with a sloppy spinebuster for two as the crowd gets restless.
Paige counters another spinebuster into a guillotine choke, then knees Aksana right on the nose when she breaks it, before getting the Scorpion Crosslock for the submission.
* Not as good as their match on Smackdown. I've already said my piece about how I feel about Paige's match formula.
-ON SMACKDOWN: Cesaro VS Swagger
-LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Rusev squashes R-Truth, then takes care of Xavier Woods too.
-Match 7: Alexander Rusev (w/Lana) VS Sin Cara
-Rusev will face Truth & Woods in a handicap match at Extreme Rules. Sin Cara does a lot better than last time, actually getting some offense in that is mostly no-sold until he hits an enziguiri, followed by a missile dropkick. Rusev comes back with a big clothesline, front slam, and camel clutch for the submission.
*1/4 Not a bad match at all, but it's not a good sign when the crowd gets bored enough to chant "JBL" a minute in.
-BOLIEVE
-Match 8: John Cena VS The Wyatt Family
-Cena sells the reveal with an appropriate amount of despair. All three immediately mug Cena before the bell even rings, putting him at a disadvantage to start. Harper starts the match legally, and mauls Cena while taking him into the Wyatts' corner. There's dueling chants again as Rowan gets in and hits a slam. Cena fires back, but gets caught in mid-air and tossed with a fallaway slam. Tag to Bray, who leads Cena in a dance before slugging him down and tagging Harper. Cena comes back with a Stinger Splash, but runs right into an elbow from Harper.
Harper hits a couple uppercuts, but Cena ducks a third and hits a German suplex. Harper tags Rowan, who keeps the advantage before hitting a backbreaker for two and tagging in Bray. Bray stops short of kicking Cena's head in before tagging in Harper. Cena promptly gets Harper in the STF, but Rowan saves. Harper throws Cena outside. Cena goes after Rowan, and is sent into the steps by Harper for his troubles and we go to break.
Back from break, a Cena rally is cut short when Harper ducks a flying shoulderblock, and Cena falls outside. Back in, Cena slugs Harper down from the second rope, and hits a tornado DDT. Harper immediately tags Bray, who plants Cena with a HUGE urinage for two. Bray beats Cena down, then it's off to Rowan for the DOUBLE NOOGIE OF MILD DISCOMFORT as Bray talks some shit.
Bray gets back in, and absorbs a Cena comeback attempt before squashing him in the corner and spider walking. Bray charges right into a huge clothesline from Cena. Cena takes care of Harper and Rowan, then hits Blue Thunder on Bray. Cena low bridges Harper, then hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Bray, followed by the AA. That gets two with Harper & Rowan, then the ref just calls for the bell once the heel beatdown starts. What kind of bullshit is that? He didn't even give them a five count first.
** This was just kinda there the whole time. Not the best outing from these guys.
-Bray lays Cena out with Sister Abigail, then cradles Cena's head while he sings to close the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: I liked the angles on this show, but not the in-ring aspect at all. Usually Raw has been good for at least one really strong match, but it wasn't in the cards for this week.
-From Baltimore, MD
-Hosts are Cole, King, & JBL
-An emotional (after learning of his father's passing) Daniel Bryan kicks off the show, with his new bride already in the ring. They lead a YES chant, but before anything else can happen, Stephanie McMahon interrupts.
Stephanie insincerely congratulates the happy couple on their wedding, and gives Bryan his wedding gift from WWE: a title defense against Kane at Extreme Rules. I'm not looking forward to that at all. Stephanie warns Bryan that Kane "in demon form" is uncontrollable, and that he better get his "pretty little wife" out of harm's way. Kane's pyro goes off and his music hits, but he's nowhere to be found until Bryan & Brie get out of the ring, and Kane comes over the barricade to attack Bryan. Bryan fights off a chokeslam attempt and the two brawl on the floor while Stephanie yells for Brie to get out of dodge. Kane sends Bryan into the barricade, then gives him a well-protected tombstone on the floor as Stephanie repeatedly tells Kane "that's enough". As the crowd chants "NO" Kane delivers a second tombstone on the steps as Stephanie calls for help. The crowd chants for Bryan as he's checked out, then put on a stretcher. Kane pulls him off, and tombstones Bryan again, this time on the announce table, which for once doesn't break at the slightest provocation. Stephanie calls Kane a "bastard", which draws "OHHHHHHH"s from the crowd. This was a pretty good segment, even thought it's wasted on a throwaway title challenge from Kane.
-After a break, Bryan is stretchered away. Stephenie hangs on to both title belts and sarcastically asks for applause from the crowd. The crew recap the beatdown, then switch to talking about the IC tournament.
-Bad News Barrett has some bad news: no lucky charms can help Sheamus tonight. Barrett's catchphrases are getting over, which is a good sign.
-Match 1-Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender's Tournament Semi-Final: Wade Barrett VS Sheamus
-They slug it out, then Sheamus takes control as the crowd chants for Barrett. Sheamus hits a Finlay Roll and goes up top, but gets caught by Barrett. Sheamus fights off a superplex (ugh), then catches Barrett rushing in with a big boot to send Barrett to the floor, before hitting a plancha to the outside (!). Sheamus has his working shoes on tonight I see. Barrett fights off the Irish Hand Granade, and knocks Sheamus to the floor with a big boot of his own as we go to break.
Back from break, Sheamus scores with a poweslam, followed by a couple Irish Hammers, a high knee, the running somethingorother in the corner, and finally the Irish Hand Granade and a flying shoulderblock for two. Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for two, but Barrett avoids the Brogue Kick, and hits the Winds of Change for two. Barrett calls for the Bull Hammer, but Sheamus dodges, and hits White Noise (stopping to yell "boom!") for two, as the announce team claim that move usually gets a pin. Well that's just not true.
They trade boo (Sheamus) --- yay (Barrett) punches, then Sheamus dives at Barrett, sending them both out over the top as the crowd chants "This is Awesome!". Sheamus goes for a suicide dive, but Barrett counters with the Bull Hammer to pick up the win.
**1/2 Although this was pretty hard-fought, I didn't love it as much as Barrett VS Ziggler or as much as the crowd did, because they didn't have much to offer outside breaking out all of their signature moves. Surprised to see Sheamus drop another clean fall here.
-Evolution are here.
-BOLIEVE
-SEPTEMBER 2011: Hugh Jackman punches Dolph Ziggler, allowing Zack Ryder to actually win a match. Ziggler wants to bury the hatchet with Jackman when Jackman is on Raw next week. Damien Sandow thinks that's amusing.
-PICK HOW BAD YOU WANT TO SEE CENA DIE: You can pick Cena VS Harper, Cena VS Harper & Rowan, or Cena VS Harper, Rowan, & Bray.
-Speak of the devil, here come the Wyatts. Bray talks about remembering the first time he was struck with "truth". It was intense, but he liked it. Bray says free will is an illusion, and when that illusion is lifted, we will see the truth, but tonight is a great night for change, and that no matter the choice, Cena will see that the Family stands against him, and that the fans don't love him anymore. Bray gloats about taking more and more fans with him every time they cross paths, before leading the crowd in a sing-a-long. Great promo, with Harper & Rowan standing behind him in separate creepy-looking spotlights adding a sweet visual.
-Match 2: Los Matadores & El Torito VS 2 1/2 MB (w/Heath Slater)
-The little guys start it off and exchange slaps, then Torito hits a rana, followed by a flying headbutt. Torito hits a Bronco Buster followed by a moonsault, but Mahal saves, tossing Torito halfway across the ring. It ends up Torito VS McIntyre. Torito gores Slater in the nuts, then kicks Slater in the nuts, before Los Matadores hit their finisher on McIntyre with Torito adding a sit-down splash, and Torito pins McIntyre. Remember when Drew was the "Chosen One"?
-NO RATING At least it was short.
-Evolution arrive via limo. It's a good thing, because they're out next.
-I must say, I like the new Evolution entrance video. I think HHH has already come out to that music as many times during this reunion than he did during their original run.
HHH has some vocal issues tonight, but he compares what happened last week to someone saying that they are the baddest dudes ever, just for their daddies to come along and spank them in front of the world. Over to Orton, who says it only took one "careless" act to bring about the reformation of the group, and a video of them during the original run plays. Nice way to show the younger viewers exactly why Evolution should be feared. After the video, Batista mentions the 31 world titles between the three of them, and says The Shield have no idea what they've gotten themselves into. This brings out The Shield, and Evolution bail.
Ambrose asks HHH if they look humbled, then notes that there was a reason why HHH hired them to protect both HHH & Orton. Over to Rollins, who points out that all three guys will, when push comes to shove, look out for themselves. Rollins says they know what they're getting into because they're the ones that started this. Last up is Reigns, who gives Evolution the option of trying to fight tonight, or running away and hiding. HHH instead calls in option 3: all the guys that helped beat The Shield down last week coming out and protecting Evolution.
-EARLIER TONIGHT: Kane killed Bryan.
-It's party time, all the time! Don't be a lemon, be a rosebud!
-Rybaxel are at ringside.
-ON TOTAL DIVAS: Jimmy marries Naomi.
-Match 3: WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos VS The Brotherhood
-Guess the Usos are done with getting their asses handed to them by Batista & Orton every week. Goldust hits Jey with an inverted atomic drop, but Jey hits a couple armdrags. Jey & Goldust have a face-off, then Goldust gets a couple shots in before tagging in Cody, who slaps on a hammerlock. The Usos hit a double team hot shot, and the ref allows them to switch, and Jimmy gets two. Ryback tells a story about his dad being a bartender and serving Curt Hennig & "Razor Ramon" during their AWA days. Goldust gets back in and works Jimmy's arm as Ryback is AMAZED that Goldust can still go despite being so old. Jimmy superkicks Goldust, then Jay breaks up a Cross Rhodes attempt with another superkick for the pin.
* Not much to this one.
-Cody finally walks away from Goldust to at least start the split of this going nowhere team. Rybaxel beat the shit out of the Usos to establish them as the next challengers. This did what it needed to do on both fronts.
-Watch clay Mark Henry work at a carnival!
-Match 4: Layla (w/Fandango) VS Emma (w/Santino Marella)
-It's the feud that JUST WON'T DIE. Fandango knocks Santino off the apron, allowing Layla to get the sneak attack on Emma. Layla gets a surfboard, and Emma fights out before whiffing on an intentionally-bad dropkick. Layla talks some shit, then runs into a flying clothesline. Santino drops Fandango with the Cobra, then Emma pulls one of her socks off to reveal a female Cobra, which she uses to finish Layla.
1/2* OK, can we move on now, please?
-Santino & Emma have a "cobra" fight. Their act is cute, as long as they stay away from the more contrived stuff like that.
-Rene Young interviews John Cena, who talks about the WWE Universe having his fate in their hands, which leads to a dueling "Let's Go Cena!/Cena Sucks!" chant. Cena tells Wyatt never to count him out.
-CESARO HAS NEW MUSIC! AND IT'S TERRIBLE!
-Heyman's pre-match promo gets cut off by the commercial break.
-Back from break, Heyman is reminding the crowd what Brock Lesnar did at WrestleMania XXX.
-Match 5-Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender's Tournament Semi-Final: Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman) VS RVD
-They feel each other out, then have an awkward moment leading to RVD escaping a suplex and hitting a heel kick. Cesaro fires back with a backbreaker for two. RVD comes back again and hits a monkeyflip, but stops to point his thumbs, allowing Cesaro to hit a kick to the face, which the director misses. Cesaro hits a suplex for two, but RVD comes back with another kick. RVD blocks having his shoulder rammed into the post, but Cesaro then dropkicks RVD in the ass, and RVD cracks his shoulder as we go to break.
Back from break, Cesaro has a headlock and the crowd is DEAD. RVD fucks up a sunset flip, and Cesaro double stomps his chest anyway for two, before hitting a deadlift gutwrench suplex for another near-fall. The crowd revives long enough to call for Cesaro Swing, as Cesaro hits an uppercut, then a few moments later a forearm drop for two before going back to the headlock.
RVD fights out and kicks Cesaro in the face again, before slugging away. Yet another kick to the face leads to Rolling Thunder for two. RVD hits still another kick to the face, this time from the top, before going for the Five Star Frog Splash. Cesaro springs to life, and nearly kills RVD with an uppercut. Still yet another kick to the face by RVD leads right into a split-legged moonsault for two. Cesaro counters a kick with another uppercut, and gets two off that. They trade punches, and RVD gets a legscissors roll-up for two. Cesaro comes back with a botched Tiger Driver for two, then as Cesaro goes for the Swing, he falls victim to the most devestating move in WWE: the musical distraction. RVD kicks Cesaro to the floor.
Swagger tries to distract Cesaro, who catches a flying RVD with an uppercut anyway. As Heyman & Zeb argue, Swagger rams Cesaro into the post, and Cesaro gets counted out.
*1/4 Eh, it had its moments, but also a lot of sloppiness. RVD is completely useless at this point.
-RVD leaves, then Swagger attacks Cesaro. Cesaro backdrops Swagger to the floor, then almost gets Coulter in the Swing before Swagger saves. Cesaro then gets Swagger in the swing to prove his superiority.
-EARLIER TONIGHT: Kane killed Bryan.
-THIS JUST IN: Bryan has "only" suffered a stinger.
-LATER TONIGHT: How bad do you want John Cena to die?
-Rene Young tries to interview RVD, but Cesaro & Heyman interrupt to knock RVD for the way he won. RVD responds by warning Cesaro to get away from Heyman.
-Match 6: Aksana VS Divas Champion Paige
-Instead of taking a beatdown to start, Paige goes right on the offensive, and gets a rollup for two. Paige follows up with several knees to the ribs, but Aksana suckers Paige in by backing off. Aksana puts Paige up top, and after a shoving match, throws her off. Aksana hits a slam and some knees of her own, before using the ropes to choke Paige. Aksana slaps Paige and gets a one count before hitting the chinlock. Aksana hits some elbows to the collarbone, then a backbreaker. Paige fires back, hitting a couple short-arm clotheslines, but Aksana comes back with a sloppy spinebuster for two as the crowd gets restless.
Paige counters another spinebuster into a guillotine choke, then knees Aksana right on the nose when she breaks it, before getting the Scorpion Crosslock for the submission.
* Not as good as their match on Smackdown. I've already said my piece about how I feel about Paige's match formula.
-ON SMACKDOWN: Cesaro VS Swagger
-LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Rusev squashes R-Truth, then takes care of Xavier Woods too.
-Match 7: Alexander Rusev (w/Lana) VS Sin Cara
-Rusev will face Truth & Woods in a handicap match at Extreme Rules. Sin Cara does a lot better than last time, actually getting some offense in that is mostly no-sold until he hits an enziguiri, followed by a missile dropkick. Rusev comes back with a big clothesline, front slam, and camel clutch for the submission.
*1/4 Not a bad match at all, but it's not a good sign when the crowd gets bored enough to chant "JBL" a minute in.
-BOLIEVE
-Match 8: John Cena VS The Wyatt Family
-Cena sells the reveal with an appropriate amount of despair. All three immediately mug Cena before the bell even rings, putting him at a disadvantage to start. Harper starts the match legally, and mauls Cena while taking him into the Wyatts' corner. There's dueling chants again as Rowan gets in and hits a slam. Cena fires back, but gets caught in mid-air and tossed with a fallaway slam. Tag to Bray, who leads Cena in a dance before slugging him down and tagging Harper. Cena comes back with a Stinger Splash, but runs right into an elbow from Harper.
Harper hits a couple uppercuts, but Cena ducks a third and hits a German suplex. Harper tags Rowan, who keeps the advantage before hitting a backbreaker for two and tagging in Bray. Bray stops short of kicking Cena's head in before tagging in Harper. Cena promptly gets Harper in the STF, but Rowan saves. Harper throws Cena outside. Cena goes after Rowan, and is sent into the steps by Harper for his troubles and we go to break.
Back from break, a Cena rally is cut short when Harper ducks a flying shoulderblock, and Cena falls outside. Back in, Cena slugs Harper down from the second rope, and hits a tornado DDT. Harper immediately tags Bray, who plants Cena with a HUGE urinage for two. Bray beats Cena down, then it's off to Rowan for the DOUBLE NOOGIE OF MILD DISCOMFORT as Bray talks some shit.
Bray gets back in, and absorbs a Cena comeback attempt before squashing him in the corner and spider walking. Bray charges right into a huge clothesline from Cena. Cena takes care of Harper and Rowan, then hits Blue Thunder on Bray. Cena low bridges Harper, then hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Bray, followed by the AA. That gets two with Harper & Rowan, then the ref just calls for the bell once the heel beatdown starts. What kind of bullshit is that? He didn't even give them a five count first.
** This was just kinda there the whole time. Not the best outing from these guys.
-Bray lays Cena out with Sister Abigail, then cradles Cena's head while he sings to close the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: I liked the angles on this show, but not the in-ring aspect at all. Usually Raw has been good for at least one really strong match, but it wasn't in the cards for this week.
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