-Adam Rose and the Rosebuds dance their way into the arena to kick of the show. It's amazing how he looks like a star on NXT, but it hasn't really translated to the big stage.
-Match 1: Adam Rose VS Comacho
-Rose escapes a full nelson...by rubbing his ass into Comacho's groin. He then jumps into Comacho's arms. Who decided to make him Rico? Comacho uses a couple straighjacket chokes as the crowd first sing-songs Rose's theme, then chants "PARTY TIME!" on the second attempt. Comacho drops a leg for two, but Rose fires back with punches, then catches Comacho with a spinebuster. Rose hits the SLIDING DICK TO THE FACE before giving the crowd THE CLAP and finishing with the Party Foul.
**1/2, pretty fun opener and a good showcase for Rose.
-William Regal & Byron Saxton dance to Rose's theme as the ultra-white Tom Phillips refuses to join in.
-Sami Zayn isn't happy about not being the #1 contender tonight and ready to take it out on Tyler Breeze.
-Match 2 for the NXT Tag Team Championship: The Ascension [c] VS Kalisto & El Local
-The champs go for the early jump, but promptly get caught with stereo ranas to send them both outside. The luchadores attempt dives, but get cut off with uppercuts as they stick their heads through the ropes. Kalisto plays FIP as Regal & Phillips argue over the whether the lack of competition for The Ascension reflects badly on them. Kalisto finally makes the hot tag, and Local cleans house, with Ricardo moving a lot faster than I've ever seen him. Just when it looks bad for the champs, Local gets caught with a big STO, and they finish with the Fall of Man. Best title defense I've seen for The Ascension so far. Of course, it's the first non two minute squash I've seen from them.
*** Fun show so far.
-A pretty great video profiles Tyler Breeze. Again, why don't they do this stuff more on the main shows?
-Match 3: Sami Zayn VS Tyler Breeze (#1 Contender's Match)
-New music for both guys. Breeze's is much, much better. They fight over arm locks to start, and Sami wins that. They then take turns pulling each other's hair, and Sami has the obvious advantage there too. Breeze manages to send Zayn from the second turnbuckle to the floor, and that allows him to take control for a bit. Breeze works a front facelock, but gets thrown off by Zayn. Zayn sends Breeze outside, and follows up with an Arabian Press, drawing a big "NXT" chant. Back in, Zayn gets a big cross-body for two. It takes a couple tries, but Zayn manages to hit Blue Thunder for two.
Breeze fires back with a mule kick and a spinning Impaler DDT for two, then pulls Zayn out of the corner into a sit-out powerbomb for two. Nice spot there. Breeze pounds away as Zayn looks out of it, but Zayn then catches Breeze with an exploder into the corner, drawing a "this is awesome" chant. They do a boo-yay punch exchange, then Zayn almost runs into the ref before getting schoolboyed for two. I totally bought that as a finish. Zayn runs into a NASTY superkick for another close two count.
Breeze pounds away as Zayn fires up, then they go through a convoluted series of counters, leading to a fucked up suplex bomb from Zayn for two. Breeze slides outside to avoid the Heluva Kick, but Zayn hits him with a flip dive instead. Back in, Zayn goes for the Heluva Kick, but Breeze catches him with an accidental low blow, then finishes with the Beauty Shot.
****1/2 This was fucking great, and a legit WWE match of the year contender. Zayn was awesome as alway, but this was big break out match for Breeze, in a spot where he needed one. The finish also adds to the build to the inevitable turn for Zayn, which should be interesting.
-Bret talks to Natalya, ostensibly about her match tonight.
-Lana comes out to introduce Rusev, who angrily waves the Russian flag. Mojo Rawley interrupts to stick up for the good old US of A and "shove that flag right up [Rusev's] Putin". That...does not go well for Mojo, and the massive shit kicking he takes immediately turns Rusev babyface on DVDVR.
-A video previews the women's title match.
-KRIS KRISTOFFERSON IS HERE!
-So is Paige! She sucks up to the crowd, and puts over the NXT Women's title as the key to the future.
-Match 4 for the NXT Women's Championship: Charlotte (w/Ric Flair) VS Natalya (w/Bret Hart)
-Charlotte has new Flair-themed music. They open up with some pretty smoove chain wrestling, and nice little touches like constantly shoving and sneering at each other. Nattie gets a nice rollup and a bodyscissors, then they exchange slaps before Charlotte lands a big chop to take control. Naitch struts in celebration. Nattie goes for a sleeper, but Charlotte counters into a backpack stunner for two. Charlotte controls for a bit, then escapes an abdominal stretch before hitting a low dropkick. Nattie comes back with a dropkick of her own for two, then knocks Charlotte off the apron after a trademark Flair Flip.
Charlotte wrenches Nattie off the apron to the floor by her leg, and gets two off that. Charlotte tries a moonsault, but takes forever setting it up, so it misses. That draws a "This is Awesome" chant as Bret tries to get Nattie back in the match. Nattie gets the Sharpshooter, but Charlotte manages to hang on, and roll through before countering into a figure 4. That was pretty damned slick, actually. Tom Phillips somehow gets confused as to who is applying the hold, as they exchange slaps then roll across th ring, leading to Charlotte hanging onto the hold as she rolls off the apron, but Nattie stays on.
Charlotte breaks the hold at four, then shoves Nattie into the steps. Charlotte goes to re-apply the figure 4, but thinks better of it, and gets a Sharpshooter. Nattie hangs on and tries to counter, but Charlotte kicks her away, and finishes with Bow Down to the Queen to win the title.
**** This was pretty damned great, actually. They did a good job of making it look like an actual struggle as opposed to two people running through (and trying to remember) their spots, which is always greatly appreciated by yours truly.
-They do the RoH handshake of respect that almost always makes no sense, with this being no exception. Charlotte has a total babyface celebration, which means they better be turning her soon.
-A video previews the main event.
-Nattie wishes Tyson good luck.
-Match 5 for the NXT Championship: Adrian Neville [c] VS Tyson Kidd
-This is probably the only show Tyson Kidd has and will ever headline that will be seen by more than 100 people. They have a feeling out process that lasts a couple minutes before Tyson takes complete control, hitting a suicide dive for two. Neville fights back, and they collide in mid air for a double KO. Neville lands a series of kicks, then fights off a bulldog attempt before hanging Kidd in the Tree of Woe and hitting a hesitation dropkick. Neville follows up with a springboard forearm for two, but Kidd fires back, and counters a suicide dive attempt with a kick to the head for two.
Kidd goes up top, but Neville cuts him off. Kidd blocks a superplex and goes for a sunset bomb, but Neville flips out of that, then catches Kidd with a pop-up sit-out powerbomb for two. Neville hits a stiff kick to the chest, but Kidd counters a springboard into a Russian leg sweep off the second rope for two in a nice spot. Neville gets his knees up to counter a splash. Kidd stops short, but gets rolled up for two. Kidd fires back with a kick, then they fight over a suplex, spilling out over the top in the process. They both barely make it back in at nine, then get caught calling spots on camera.
Kidd almost gets a Sharpshooter, then transitions into a Dungeon Lock (triangle choke with the legs locked as well), and adds some short kicks to the head while he has the hold on, but Neville hangs on and grabs the ropes to force a break. Neville gets caught up in the ropes, and Kidd hits a somersault leg drop for two. Kidd shows some frustration then goes up top. Kidd fights Neville off twice, but Neville runs the ropes a third time and hits a super rana, followed by the Red Arrow to retain.
***1/2 Pretty strong main event with both guys giving it everything they had, and fighting with desparation. Can't ask for much more than that.
-Kidd refuses a handshake after the match, and sulks his way to the back.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was an awesome show after some pretty lackluster TVs. The main roster guys are really going to have to step it up Sunday if they don't want to be outclassed by their supposed lessers in NXT.
TBHND
Well that's what I heard,,,
Friday, May 30, 2014
Saturday, May 17, 2014
NXT 5/15/14
-Match 1: NXT Tag Team Champions The Ascension VS Buddy Murphy & Elias Sampson
-Another quick squash for the champs. Sampson doesn't even tag in before they finish Murphy with the Fall of Man. Odd bit on commentary as William Regal questions why they keep facing jobbers. Good point. SQUASH
-The Ascension want someone new to destroy. They are answered by El Local & Kalisto. I really hope Local gets officially revealed as Ricardo at some point.
-Sami Zayn tends to obsess about things...and not get them. This time will be different, though.
-TYLER BREEZE HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING. That's a great shtick to bring back. It's been over 20 years since HBK had it, so it's fair game.
-Match 2-NXT Women's Championship Tournament Semi-Final: Alexa Bliss VS Charlotte (w/Sasha Bank)
-Pretty nice match with the veteran Charlotte controlling the whole way, focusing on the back and midsection. Charlotte actually WORKS holds when she has one on, something a lot of the main roster men don't actually do. Charlotte hits a back breaker to put Alexa in position to her flippy face plant, now called Bow Down to the Queen. **1/2
-Match 3: Mojo Rawley VS Aiden English
-Cute bit as Mojo gets in a three-point-stance, and English has to go outside to avoid him. This isn't the disaster a longer (read: past two minutes) match from Rawley would have seemed like a couple weeks ago. Mojo starts fast, English gets a heat segment, then Mojo makes his comeback and finishes with the Hyper Drive. Basic, but watchable. ** Mojo desperately needs a new finish still.
-Tyson Kidd notes that all the people making noise in WWE today came from NXT.
-Match 4: Angelo Dawkins VS Colin Cassidy
-An extended squash for Cassidy, and the most interesting part is CJ Parker walking through the crowd with a recyclable sign and the commentators' reaction to it. Cassidy finishes with the East River Crossing (spinning Rock Bottom). 1/2*
-Bo Dallas tries to talk JBL into letting him into the NXT title scene. JBL books Bo in a match for next week against Big E. If Bo wins, he gets a title shot. If he loses, he leaves NXT. Bo trying to remain positive throughout the segment is tremendous.
-Match 5 for the NXT #1 Contendership: Tyson Kidd VS Tyler Breeze VS Sami Zayn
-It's pretty briskly-paced, if not particularly memorable. The usual triple threat tropes are in full display here. Zayn hits the Heluva Kick on Breeze, but Kidd knocks Zayn to the floor, and finishes Breeze with a big elbow, as Zayn is a second too late to break up the pin. **1/2
-The most interesting part of this match (at least to me) is Zayn's heart broken reaction to not winning. The way the camera lingers on his face definitely seems to be foreshadowing a heel turn, which could be interesting.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This show was all about setting up NXT Takeover in two weeks, and it did a good job at making me want to see it. I'll have the week off, so I'll actually be able to check it out live.
-Another quick squash for the champs. Sampson doesn't even tag in before they finish Murphy with the Fall of Man. Odd bit on commentary as William Regal questions why they keep facing jobbers. Good point. SQUASH
-The Ascension want someone new to destroy. They are answered by El Local & Kalisto. I really hope Local gets officially revealed as Ricardo at some point.
-Sami Zayn tends to obsess about things...and not get them. This time will be different, though.
-TYLER BREEZE HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING. That's a great shtick to bring back. It's been over 20 years since HBK had it, so it's fair game.
-Match 2-NXT Women's Championship Tournament Semi-Final: Alexa Bliss VS Charlotte (w/Sasha Bank)
-Pretty nice match with the veteran Charlotte controlling the whole way, focusing on the back and midsection. Charlotte actually WORKS holds when she has one on, something a lot of the main roster men don't actually do. Charlotte hits a back breaker to put Alexa in position to her flippy face plant, now called Bow Down to the Queen. **1/2
-Match 3: Mojo Rawley VS Aiden English
-Cute bit as Mojo gets in a three-point-stance, and English has to go outside to avoid him. This isn't the disaster a longer (read: past two minutes) match from Rawley would have seemed like a couple weeks ago. Mojo starts fast, English gets a heat segment, then Mojo makes his comeback and finishes with the Hyper Drive. Basic, but watchable. ** Mojo desperately needs a new finish still.
-Tyson Kidd notes that all the people making noise in WWE today came from NXT.
-Match 4: Angelo Dawkins VS Colin Cassidy
-An extended squash for Cassidy, and the most interesting part is CJ Parker walking through the crowd with a recyclable sign and the commentators' reaction to it. Cassidy finishes with the East River Crossing (spinning Rock Bottom). 1/2*
-Bo Dallas tries to talk JBL into letting him into the NXT title scene. JBL books Bo in a match for next week against Big E. If Bo wins, he gets a title shot. If he loses, he leaves NXT. Bo trying to remain positive throughout the segment is tremendous.
-Match 5 for the NXT #1 Contendership: Tyson Kidd VS Tyler Breeze VS Sami Zayn
-It's pretty briskly-paced, if not particularly memorable. The usual triple threat tropes are in full display here. Zayn hits the Heluva Kick on Breeze, but Kidd knocks Zayn to the floor, and finishes Breeze with a big elbow, as Zayn is a second too late to break up the pin. **1/2
-The most interesting part of this match (at least to me) is Zayn's heart broken reaction to not winning. The way the camera lingers on his face definitely seems to be foreshadowing a heel turn, which could be interesting.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This show was all about setting up NXT Takeover in two weeks, and it did a good job at making me want to see it. I'll have the week off, so I'll actually be able to check it out live.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Main Event 5/13/14
-Rene Young ties to open the show by interviewing Paul Heyman about Cesaro's match against Sheamus. Paul is AGHAST that Rene would mention Sheamus in the same breath as a "Paul Heyman Guy". Just in case you forgot BAROCK LESNAR CONQUERED THE STREAK. Sheamus interrupts to let Heyman know who he is, and gives Heyman five seconds to get out of the ring before kicking his face in. Heyman acts all tough before bailing at four, but that's the moment where Cesaro jumps Sheamus from behind, and lays him out with the Neutralizer. Cesaro goes for the swing, but Heyman calls him off, wanting to leave something for later.
-Sandow tries to do a promo again, but gets cut off by Dolph Ziggler.
-Match 1: Damien Sandow VS Dolph Ziggler
-I'm intrigues by Sandow's new "loose cannon" gimmick. Remember when a guy getting repackaged and being more aggressive in the ring would result in a push? With wins and everything? Short match, which is all about Sandow. He busts out the Edge-u-cater, a great move for him. Ziggler escapes and wins with the Zig Zag anyway. Whatever. **
-Shield VS Evolution is officially announced for Payback. Not announced: what day the show is.
-Match 2: Emma VS Alicia Fox
-Fox jump-starts the match and just beats the shit out of Emma, drawing some heat in the process. She talks some trash, but doesn't seem to understand what "underrated" means. As with the first match, the more interesting participant dominates, but gets caught for a quick pin. *1/2
-Alicia loses her shit again, drawing a legit LOL from me by demanding the announce team's money. She follows up by tearing up their notes and stuffing them in their mouths. Tremendous.
-Sheamus is still ready for a fight.
-TALE OF THE TAPE. They need to do that more often.
-Match 3: United States Champion Sheamus VS Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman)
-They have a pretty damned fun all-out brawl, full of intensity, going about ten minutes before fighting into the crowd for a double count-out. Heyman's front-running is glorious as always. Give these guys 20 minutes at Payback and I'll be a happy man. ***1/2
-The fight continues, and Heyman hands Cesaro a chair, which he jams into Sheamus' ribs. Before he can use it again, Sheamus surprises him with a Brogue Kick, then celebrates to close the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was actually pretty worthwhile for a "C" show. I question the booking in the first two matches, but the entertainment value was there. Probably the best Main Event since WrestleMania.
-Sandow tries to do a promo again, but gets cut off by Dolph Ziggler.
-Match 1: Damien Sandow VS Dolph Ziggler
-I'm intrigues by Sandow's new "loose cannon" gimmick. Remember when a guy getting repackaged and being more aggressive in the ring would result in a push? With wins and everything? Short match, which is all about Sandow. He busts out the Edge-u-cater, a great move for him. Ziggler escapes and wins with the Zig Zag anyway. Whatever. **
-Shield VS Evolution is officially announced for Payback. Not announced: what day the show is.
-Match 2: Emma VS Alicia Fox
-Fox jump-starts the match and just beats the shit out of Emma, drawing some heat in the process. She talks some trash, but doesn't seem to understand what "underrated" means. As with the first match, the more interesting participant dominates, but gets caught for a quick pin. *1/2
-Alicia loses her shit again, drawing a legit LOL from me by demanding the announce team's money. She follows up by tearing up their notes and stuffing them in their mouths. Tremendous.
-Sheamus is still ready for a fight.
-TALE OF THE TAPE. They need to do that more often.
-Match 3: United States Champion Sheamus VS Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman)
-They have a pretty damned fun all-out brawl, full of intensity, going about ten minutes before fighting into the crowd for a double count-out. Heyman's front-running is glorious as always. Give these guys 20 minutes at Payback and I'll be a happy man. ***1/2
-The fight continues, and Heyman hands Cesaro a chair, which he jams into Sheamus' ribs. Before he can use it again, Sheamus surprises him with a Brogue Kick, then celebrates to close the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was actually pretty worthwhile for a "C" show. I question the booking in the first two matches, but the entertainment value was there. Probably the best Main Event since WrestleMania.
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Raw 5/12/14
-LAST WEEK: HHH uses his special COO powers to screw with the Shield.
-The Shield start the show. I am so glad Rollins isn't the terrible promo he used to be. Reigns is going to be money when he learns how to work a main event singles match. They challenge Evolution to a rematch at Payback. Evolution do the "show up in a limo after the show has already started" gimmick (at least it's not at the start of hour three). HHH signs in with security (he really should have pulled the "don't you know who we are?" card there), then The Shield fly in off-camera to get some licks in before being pulled away by security.
-Match 1: RVD (*sigh*) VS Jack Swagger
-Zeb bitches about Adam Rose. Rose shows up and distracts Swagger. The "match" lasts two moves. At least it was short. NO RATING
-Paige has a target on her back. With the way she's going through the division, they're going to have to call up some from NXT soon.
-Damn these BOLIEVE vignettes are awesome. I just hope he can live up to them.
-Match 2: Alicia Fox VS Divas Champion Paige
-Alicia tells Paige no one likes her and she should get out. Well that's just not nice. It takes JBL to point out that it's jealousy from the other Divas that they all failed to beat AJ, and she did it her first night in. That should definitely have been one of the babyface commentators' jobs. Fox beats the shit out of Paige, who hits one move, the Paige Turner, for the win. Pretty much what happened when she won the title. **
-Alicia loses her shit, pounding on the announce table, spilling JBL's beer before strutting away in his hat, while whining that she should be the champion. Well that was...something.
-A video recaps last week's Bryan/Kane angle. It's still goofy shit.
-Daniel Bryan comes out to announce that he's going to have neck surgery. He's not sure when he'll be back, but he will be back. Hopefully the "6-8 weeks" prognosis kicking around online is accurate.
-Match 3: John Cena & WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos VS The Wyatt Family
-The Wyatts open with a heat segment on Jey. Jimmy gets the hot tag, and Cole actually says "The Wyatts haven't been able to get out of the blocks here guys". Harper may have the best big boot in the business today. That thing is awesome. Rowan is so screwed when the Family breaks up eventually. He's far behind the other two in terms of ring work and charisma. Cena gets in, cleans house, and applies the WORST STF EVER on Rowan. I'm not a Cena hater (well, not anymore) but that was just terrible. The Usos save Cena from Sister Abigal, and he finishes Rowan with the AA. **1/2 Nothing special, but the crowd was hot for it.
-Evoution comes to the ring. They're going to do horrible things to The Shield, leaving Reigns for last. The Shield attack again and send Evolution running. Batista has has ENOUGH of this shit and challenges Reigns for tonight. It's Batista VS Batista 2.0!
-Match 4: Nikki Bella VS Natalya
-This is based off something that happened on Total Divas that actually happened months ago and is TOTALLY NOT WORKED AT ALL. IT'S ALL 100% REAL AND SHAME ON YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE! The other TD cast members are outside the ring, holding score cards to judge their moves. I couldn't give a fuck less. Nikki wins with a roll-up. Whatever. NO RATING, 'cause fuck this match that's why.
-Match 5: Curtis Axel VS United States Champion Sheamus
-Axel wins a coin flip with Ryback, and the fucking commentators can't even follow that without getting confused. Sheamus wins the Curtis Axel Special: technically fine but nothing particularly memorable about it. **
-Ryback jumps Sheamus, and that somehow leads to another match.
-Match 6: Ryback VS United States Champion Sheamus
-They actually have a pretty decent, if short, power match. Sheamus counters Shellshocked and finishes with the Brogue Kick. Nothing wrong with that, but what happened to Sheamus' heel turn? **1/2
-Sheamus VS Cesaro on Main Event. Color me interested!
-Stephanie comes out to passive-aggressively gloat about Bryan's neck surgery. She asks for him to come out, but instead gets Kane dragging what is left of him onto the stage. Cue the pearl clutching and OMG WHY ARE THEY BURYING BRYAN posts and tweets. Doctors, officials, Brie, and Steph just kinda stand around not doing much as Bryan is loaded onto a stretcher.
-Brie tells Steph to stay the fuck away as Bryan is loaded into an ambulance. Well, not in those terms.
-Match 7: Fandango (w/Layla) VS Dolph Ziggler
-I actually really liked this one, even though it was sans heat. It was pretty briskly-paced and well-executed. Layla first distracts Dolph, but then gets caught up in the ring apron, distracting Fandango long enough for Ziggler to pop up and hit the Zig Zag for the pin. ***
-Fandango declares his love for Layla. JBL freaks out at their PDA after talking up their coupling, and actually gets called out for it.
-Hacksaw Jim Duggan comes out to shill Legend's House. This naturally brings out Lana to sick Rusev on Hacksaw. Big E runs out to make the save, perhaps noticing Rusev's penchant for beating up on black guys. Rusev settles for kicking his ass instead.
-Match 8: Damien Sandow VS Cody Rhodes (w/Goldust)
-Sandow threatens to cut his own "pipe bomb" promo, but gets cut off by The Brotherhood. They give it the old college try, but the crowd just DIES the moment the bell rings. That's what happens when jobbers fight. Cody rakes the eyes and finishes with the Disaster Kick. **
-Bray challenges Cena to Round 3 at Payback.
-Match 9: Roman Reigns (w/Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose) VS Batista (w/HHH & Randy Orton)
-This is basically a set up for a fight between the two trios. Just when it looks like it may go bad for Evolution, Stephanie calls in the troops. After a huge attack on The Shield, HHH grabs a chair. Before he can use it, Reigns spears him. Rollins & Ambrose grabs chairs and lay out/chase away the flunkies, then Reigns hits a Superman Punch on Heath Slater, then they plant their old friend Ryback with a Triple Powerbomb. NO RATING Just there for the post-match antics.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: A watchable show with a couple WTF? moments. These three hour shows are way too long without a good Bryan match and/or a Shield 6 man to carry them.
-
-The Shield start the show. I am so glad Rollins isn't the terrible promo he used to be. Reigns is going to be money when he learns how to work a main event singles match. They challenge Evolution to a rematch at Payback. Evolution do the "show up in a limo after the show has already started" gimmick (at least it's not at the start of hour three). HHH signs in with security (he really should have pulled the "don't you know who we are?" card there), then The Shield fly in off-camera to get some licks in before being pulled away by security.
-Match 1: RVD (*sigh*) VS Jack Swagger
-Zeb bitches about Adam Rose. Rose shows up and distracts Swagger. The "match" lasts two moves. At least it was short. NO RATING
-Paige has a target on her back. With the way she's going through the division, they're going to have to call up some from NXT soon.
-Damn these BOLIEVE vignettes are awesome. I just hope he can live up to them.
-Match 2: Alicia Fox VS Divas Champion Paige
-Alicia tells Paige no one likes her and she should get out. Well that's just not nice. It takes JBL to point out that it's jealousy from the other Divas that they all failed to beat AJ, and she did it her first night in. That should definitely have been one of the babyface commentators' jobs. Fox beats the shit out of Paige, who hits one move, the Paige Turner, for the win. Pretty much what happened when she won the title. **
-Alicia loses her shit, pounding on the announce table, spilling JBL's beer before strutting away in his hat, while whining that she should be the champion. Well that was...something.
-A video recaps last week's Bryan/Kane angle. It's still goofy shit.
-Daniel Bryan comes out to announce that he's going to have neck surgery. He's not sure when he'll be back, but he will be back. Hopefully the "6-8 weeks" prognosis kicking around online is accurate.
-Match 3: John Cena & WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos VS The Wyatt Family
-The Wyatts open with a heat segment on Jey. Jimmy gets the hot tag, and Cole actually says "The Wyatts haven't been able to get out of the blocks here guys". Harper may have the best big boot in the business today. That thing is awesome. Rowan is so screwed when the Family breaks up eventually. He's far behind the other two in terms of ring work and charisma. Cena gets in, cleans house, and applies the WORST STF EVER on Rowan. I'm not a Cena hater (well, not anymore) but that was just terrible. The Usos save Cena from Sister Abigal, and he finishes Rowan with the AA. **1/2 Nothing special, but the crowd was hot for it.
-Evoution comes to the ring. They're going to do horrible things to The Shield, leaving Reigns for last. The Shield attack again and send Evolution running. Batista has has ENOUGH of this shit and challenges Reigns for tonight. It's Batista VS Batista 2.0!
-Match 4: Nikki Bella VS Natalya
-This is based off something that happened on Total Divas that actually happened months ago and is TOTALLY NOT WORKED AT ALL. IT'S ALL 100% REAL AND SHAME ON YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE! The other TD cast members are outside the ring, holding score cards to judge their moves. I couldn't give a fuck less. Nikki wins with a roll-up. Whatever. NO RATING, 'cause fuck this match that's why.
-Match 5: Curtis Axel VS United States Champion Sheamus
-Axel wins a coin flip with Ryback, and the fucking commentators can't even follow that without getting confused. Sheamus wins the Curtis Axel Special: technically fine but nothing particularly memorable about it. **
-Ryback jumps Sheamus, and that somehow leads to another match.
-Match 6: Ryback VS United States Champion Sheamus
-They actually have a pretty decent, if short, power match. Sheamus counters Shellshocked and finishes with the Brogue Kick. Nothing wrong with that, but what happened to Sheamus' heel turn? **1/2
-Sheamus VS Cesaro on Main Event. Color me interested!
-Stephanie comes out to passive-aggressively gloat about Bryan's neck surgery. She asks for him to come out, but instead gets Kane dragging what is left of him onto the stage. Cue the pearl clutching and OMG WHY ARE THEY BURYING BRYAN posts and tweets. Doctors, officials, Brie, and Steph just kinda stand around not doing much as Bryan is loaded onto a stretcher.
-Brie tells Steph to stay the fuck away as Bryan is loaded into an ambulance. Well, not in those terms.
-Match 7: Fandango (w/Layla) VS Dolph Ziggler
-I actually really liked this one, even though it was sans heat. It was pretty briskly-paced and well-executed. Layla first distracts Dolph, but then gets caught up in the ring apron, distracting Fandango long enough for Ziggler to pop up and hit the Zig Zag for the pin. ***
-Fandango declares his love for Layla. JBL freaks out at their PDA after talking up their coupling, and actually gets called out for it.
-Hacksaw Jim Duggan comes out to shill Legend's House. This naturally brings out Lana to sick Rusev on Hacksaw. Big E runs out to make the save, perhaps noticing Rusev's penchant for beating up on black guys. Rusev settles for kicking his ass instead.
-Match 8: Damien Sandow VS Cody Rhodes (w/Goldust)
-Sandow threatens to cut his own "pipe bomb" promo, but gets cut off by The Brotherhood. They give it the old college try, but the crowd just DIES the moment the bell rings. That's what happens when jobbers fight. Cody rakes the eyes and finishes with the Disaster Kick. **
-Bray challenges Cena to Round 3 at Payback.
-Match 9: Roman Reigns (w/Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose) VS Batista (w/HHH & Randy Orton)
-This is basically a set up for a fight between the two trios. Just when it looks like it may go bad for Evolution, Stephanie calls in the troops. After a huge attack on The Shield, HHH grabs a chair. Before he can use it, Reigns spears him. Rollins & Ambrose grabs chairs and lay out/chase away the flunkies, then Reigns hits a Superman Punch on Heath Slater, then they plant their old friend Ryback with a Triple Powerbomb. NO RATING Just there for the post-match antics.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: A watchable show with a couple WTF? moments. These three hour shows are way too long without a good Bryan match and/or a Shield 6 man to carry them.
-
Sunday, May 11, 2014
RoH TV for Mother's Day Weekend
-Match 1: Mike Posey VS RD Evans (w/Veda Scott & Ramon)
-So the streak is now 99-0, and Evans has a "YES" chant rip-off. Cute opening as Evans blocks a kick, and uses his height to slap Posey around. This match ends up being all about cuteness, as Posey dubs himself "King of the Legdrop" and misses a bunch of them. Evans hits a spear and acts like Goldberg before trying to finish with a small package instead of a jackhammer. Evans finishes with a top rope legdrop to go "100-0". *1/2 This whole deal with Evans and the streak is so weird. It's different, which makes it stand out from the "serious business" RoH is most of the time.
-Now it's the first live "Fish Tank". reDRagon try, with varying success, to be hipster versions of Chris Jericho circa 1998. They annoy their guest Michael Elgin, leading to a match.
-Jay Briscoe wants his fake world title belt back. Well he shouldn't have put it on the line in a match then.
-Match 2: reDRagon VS Hanson & Raymond Rowe
-The crowd goes from hot for a possible match involving reDRagon and Elgin, to silent when Hanson & Rowe come out and hit some nice power moves. The rookies dominate, and I really don't get having your dominate tag team and current #1 contenders being treated like a joke. reDRagon end up bailing and getting counted out, running into the crowd to escape when Elgin tries backing them into the ring. I don't get this at all. *, for some nice stuff from the rookies.
-MOMENTS AGO: reDRagon run from the building and escape in Kyle's mom's van.
-Match 3: RoH World Champion Adam Cole, Matt Hardy, & Michael Bennett (w/Maria) VS Kevin Steen & The Briscoes
-Hardy has put a sticker with his face on it over the visage of Jay on the fake world title. Again the crowd pops for the entrances, then dies once the bell rings. They try to copy the Shield PPV 6 man formula with a chaotic opening before settling into a lengthy heat segment (in this case on Mark Briscoe), but it doesn't work in front of a small crowd that doesn't seem to care very much. The faces make a comeback before Jay & Hardy fight to the back, then Cole pins Mark with the Florida Key. **1/2 Decent tag formula stuff, but damn am I glad this taping cycle is over.
-Cole & Bennett go for a beatdown on Steen, but Mark helps Steen fight back, and Steen ends the show by beating the shit out of Adam Cole, trying twice, and failing, to powerbomb him through the timekeeper's table.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: I wonder who gave reDRagon a Chris Jericho comp.
-
-So the streak is now 99-0, and Evans has a "YES" chant rip-off. Cute opening as Evans blocks a kick, and uses his height to slap Posey around. This match ends up being all about cuteness, as Posey dubs himself "King of the Legdrop" and misses a bunch of them. Evans hits a spear and acts like Goldberg before trying to finish with a small package instead of a jackhammer. Evans finishes with a top rope legdrop to go "100-0". *1/2 This whole deal with Evans and the streak is so weird. It's different, which makes it stand out from the "serious business" RoH is most of the time.
-Now it's the first live "Fish Tank". reDRagon try, with varying success, to be hipster versions of Chris Jericho circa 1998. They annoy their guest Michael Elgin, leading to a match.
-Jay Briscoe wants his fake world title belt back. Well he shouldn't have put it on the line in a match then.
-Match 2: reDRagon VS Hanson & Raymond Rowe
-The crowd goes from hot for a possible match involving reDRagon and Elgin, to silent when Hanson & Rowe come out and hit some nice power moves. The rookies dominate, and I really don't get having your dominate tag team and current #1 contenders being treated like a joke. reDRagon end up bailing and getting counted out, running into the crowd to escape when Elgin tries backing them into the ring. I don't get this at all. *, for some nice stuff from the rookies.
-MOMENTS AGO: reDRagon run from the building and escape in Kyle's mom's van.
-Match 3: RoH World Champion Adam Cole, Matt Hardy, & Michael Bennett (w/Maria) VS Kevin Steen & The Briscoes
-Hardy has put a sticker with his face on it over the visage of Jay on the fake world title. Again the crowd pops for the entrances, then dies once the bell rings. They try to copy the Shield PPV 6 man formula with a chaotic opening before settling into a lengthy heat segment (in this case on Mark Briscoe), but it doesn't work in front of a small crowd that doesn't seem to care very much. The faces make a comeback before Jay & Hardy fight to the back, then Cole pins Mark with the Florida Key. **1/2 Decent tag formula stuff, but damn am I glad this taping cycle is over.
-Cole & Bennett go for a beatdown on Steen, but Mark helps Steen fight back, and Steen ends the show by beating the shit out of Adam Cole, trying twice, and failing, to powerbomb him through the timekeeper's table.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: I wonder who gave reDRagon a Chris Jericho comp.
-
Friday, May 9, 2014
NXT 5/8/14
-Hosts are Jason Albert, Rene Young, & one of the interchangeable other guys.
-Match 1-NXT Women's Championship Tournament First Round: Emma VS Charlotte (w/Sasha Banks)
-As someone who has only been watching NXT since Arrival and didn't see it evolve, Emma's act comes off as so forced it's ridiculous. Charlotte is such a perfect ring name for Ric Flair's daughter. Her AJ Styles-esque rib tattoo...not so much. Not much of a match, as Charlotte dominates until Emma makes a brief comeback, only to accidentally hit Sasha with the pink cobra (not a euphemism), and get caught in a nice rollup by Charlotte (which is ripe for a pervy screen cap) for the pin. *1/2
-Match 2: The Legionnares (Sylvester LaFort & Marcus Louis) VS El Local & Kalisto
-Oh shit! Here comes La Resistance 3.0! Local is a masked Ricard Rodriguez. Kalisto thankfully wrestles shirtless, so I know which is which. Ricardo plays FIP for a few minutes before Kalisto gets in, and Kalisto impresses everyone with his segment. Kalisto finishes LaFort with a handspring into an enziguiri. Kalisto has already translated to WWE better than Sin Cara 1.0 ever did. **1/2 OK short version of the tag formula. Kalisto is going to be something if he can keep it up.
-Match 3: Comacho VS Captain Comic
-CC is the guy in the Rose party who is dressed as a luchadore. Someone on the NXT creative staff must have gotten some CHIKARA DVDs. I agree with the DVDVR board in that Comacho needs to stop pretending to be a Hispanic guy who doesn't look remotely Hispanic, and embrace his Meng Dynasty heritage. Comacho squashes the fuck out of CC and finishes with a powerslam, but it takes way too long. 1/2*, just because I am starting to like Comacho.
-Adam Rose saves his buddy from a further beating.
-Match 4-NXT Women's Championship Tournament First Round: Alicia Fox VS Alexa Bliss
-Bliss looks a bit like a tiny version of Taryn Tyrell a.k.a. Tiffany. They have a hell of a little match, actually, with both busting out some nice moves, including a sweet finish, as Bliss counters a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into a small (heh) package for the pin. Good debut for Bliss, but I can see the "fairy" stuff eventually backfiring and turning her heel. **1/2
-Adrian Neville is ready for whoever wins the #1 contender's battle royal.
-Match 5: Battle Royal to Determine the #1 Contender to the NXT Championship
-Mojo Rawley had better not win this. Brodus Clay eliminates a couple guys (as the crowd sarcastically chants for Yoshi Tatsu), before getting ganged up on and eliminated. Mason Ryan gets his only good WWE moment: pressing Aiden English over his head before tossing him to the floor. Still more chants for Tatsu. How is Corey Graves not in this? The dead weight lasts WAY too long in this. Bo Dallas finally starts eliminating some peeps before getting tossed by Tyson Kidd, leaving it Kidd VS Zayn VS Breeze. The crowd gets behind Zayn, but sadly his gimmick is not actually winning anything. This somehow leads to the final three all hitting the floor at the same time. The crowd, sensing where this is going, chants for a triple threat. The crowd chants for JBL, since he ostensibly runs the show, but NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, HERE COMES TRIPLE H! He makes a triple threat for next week. Alrighty then.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: Decent build for the upcoming TAKEOVER show, even if the quality of a battle royal is inversely proportionate to how long it takes before getting to the final four or so, and this one took forever. Still, a couple pretty impressive debuts in Bliss & Kalisto make this worthwhile.
-Match 1-NXT Women's Championship Tournament First Round: Emma VS Charlotte (w/Sasha Banks)
-As someone who has only been watching NXT since Arrival and didn't see it evolve, Emma's act comes off as so forced it's ridiculous. Charlotte is such a perfect ring name for Ric Flair's daughter. Her AJ Styles-esque rib tattoo...not so much. Not much of a match, as Charlotte dominates until Emma makes a brief comeback, only to accidentally hit Sasha with the pink cobra (not a euphemism), and get caught in a nice rollup by Charlotte (which is ripe for a pervy screen cap) for the pin. *1/2
-Match 2: The Legionnares (Sylvester LaFort & Marcus Louis) VS El Local & Kalisto
-Oh shit! Here comes La Resistance 3.0! Local is a masked Ricard Rodriguez. Kalisto thankfully wrestles shirtless, so I know which is which. Ricardo plays FIP for a few minutes before Kalisto gets in, and Kalisto impresses everyone with his segment. Kalisto finishes LaFort with a handspring into an enziguiri. Kalisto has already translated to WWE better than Sin Cara 1.0 ever did. **1/2 OK short version of the tag formula. Kalisto is going to be something if he can keep it up.
-Match 3: Comacho VS Captain Comic
-CC is the guy in the Rose party who is dressed as a luchadore. Someone on the NXT creative staff must have gotten some CHIKARA DVDs. I agree with the DVDVR board in that Comacho needs to stop pretending to be a Hispanic guy who doesn't look remotely Hispanic, and embrace his Meng Dynasty heritage. Comacho squashes the fuck out of CC and finishes with a powerslam, but it takes way too long. 1/2*, just because I am starting to like Comacho.
-Adam Rose saves his buddy from a further beating.
-Match 4-NXT Women's Championship Tournament First Round: Alicia Fox VS Alexa Bliss
-Bliss looks a bit like a tiny version of Taryn Tyrell a.k.a. Tiffany. They have a hell of a little match, actually, with both busting out some nice moves, including a sweet finish, as Bliss counters a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into a small (heh) package for the pin. Good debut for Bliss, but I can see the "fairy" stuff eventually backfiring and turning her heel. **1/2
-Adrian Neville is ready for whoever wins the #1 contender's battle royal.
-Match 5: Battle Royal to Determine the #1 Contender to the NXT Championship
-Mojo Rawley had better not win this. Brodus Clay eliminates a couple guys (as the crowd sarcastically chants for Yoshi Tatsu), before getting ganged up on and eliminated. Mason Ryan gets his only good WWE moment: pressing Aiden English over his head before tossing him to the floor. Still more chants for Tatsu. How is Corey Graves not in this? The dead weight lasts WAY too long in this. Bo Dallas finally starts eliminating some peeps before getting tossed by Tyson Kidd, leaving it Kidd VS Zayn VS Breeze. The crowd gets behind Zayn, but sadly his gimmick is not actually winning anything. This somehow leads to the final three all hitting the floor at the same time. The crowd, sensing where this is going, chants for a triple threat. The crowd chants for JBL, since he ostensibly runs the show, but NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, HERE COMES TRIPLE H! He makes a triple threat for next week. Alrighty then.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: Decent build for the upcoming TAKEOVER show, even if the quality of a battle royal is inversely proportionate to how long it takes before getting to the final four or so, and this one took forever. Still, a couple pretty impressive debuts in Bliss & Kalisto make this worthwhile.
Main Event 5/6/14
-Don't feel like doing quasi-PBP anymore, but I wasn't happy with the Raw "paying half attention" review, so I'm going to try a more stream-of-consciousness review for the rest of the week's shows and see how that goes.
-From Buffalo, NY
-Match 1: Dolph Ziggler VS Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter)
-The crew immediately annoy me by completely ignoring the match in favor in talking about Raw. This includes Zeb, who joins the team. If more people actually watched this show, I could see there being a furor over Zeb telling Byron Saxton "You don't look like you're from Virginia" while giving white bread Phillips a pass. Ziggler takes a ridiculously dumb bump, smacking his head on the post, then the steps. Zeb puts all WWE Superstars over as being world-class athletes, which immediately makes him better than anyone on the main shows.
They're actually having a decent little match here. I wonder if Swagger would get over if they went more "creepy Deliverance cast member" with him. Adam Rose interrupts, leading to the most-protected finish in WWE today: the musical distraction. I HATE that finish.
**1/2 This was going good before that shitty finish.
-Ziggler joins the party. I can definitely see a heel turning face by joining the party instead of fighting Rose, taking the offer like when The Godfather used to give one to his opponents.
-I am never, ever, EVER watching Legend's House.
-Match 2: Aksana, Tamina Snuka, & Alicia Fox VS Natalya & The Funkadactyls
-Tamina does NOT look happy with her partners. In a totally-not-worked-for-TV storyline, The Funkadactyls lose Nattie's cat on Total Divas. Good news though, they happened to find it. I'll be honest: I couldn't give a fuck less about this match. Aksana's unreasonably-cocky heeling is aces though. Naomi does...something in the ropes that looks like it's supposed to be a face plant, but Aksana clearly has no idea how to take it, and it just looks shitty. Naomi finishes Aksana with the Rear View and a split-legged moonsault. Nattie decides now it is time to get bitchy about her cat. Who gives a shit?
*1/2 Wasn't bad or anything, I just don't care.
-I still have no idea what this Mr. T Mother's Day video is supposed to accomplish.
-Match 3: Goldust (w/Cody Rhodes) VS Curtis Axel (w/Ryback)
-It really is amazing how different Dustin gets when he puts on the gold paint. Without it (at least after his first run as Goldust) he's awful, but with it, he's tremendous. If only Axel could pair his solidness in the ring with his dad's charisma, he'd be golden. Sadly, that seems to have skipped a generation. Another technically fine match that doesn't really hold my attention. Goldust wins with the Final Cut, and Cody pretends to be happy for him. Yeah, your 40-something brother who was persona-non-grata this time last year is better and infinitely more over than you. YAY! It'll be nice when Cody finally loses to say, Rusev, and turns on Goldust for patting his already-injured back like a clueless doofus.
** I have nothing else to add.
-John Cena makes a rare Main Event appearance. It's still not going to get anyone to watch this show. Cena points out the obvious: that this Bray Wyatt guy you people are turning on me for is kind of a douche. HE LITERALLY ASKS FOR YOU GUYS TO LOOK LIKE SHEEP! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! Well, this promo would have been better had he said that. Cena believes in what is on all of his merch (so buy it now kiddos!): Never Give Up. And...that's it. OK then.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was a show. Nothing on it was bad, but nothing on it would make you think that this is a must-see every week.
-From Buffalo, NY
-Match 1: Dolph Ziggler VS Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter)
-The crew immediately annoy me by completely ignoring the match in favor in talking about Raw. This includes Zeb, who joins the team. If more people actually watched this show, I could see there being a furor over Zeb telling Byron Saxton "You don't look like you're from Virginia" while giving white bread Phillips a pass. Ziggler takes a ridiculously dumb bump, smacking his head on the post, then the steps. Zeb puts all WWE Superstars over as being world-class athletes, which immediately makes him better than anyone on the main shows.
They're actually having a decent little match here. I wonder if Swagger would get over if they went more "creepy Deliverance cast member" with him. Adam Rose interrupts, leading to the most-protected finish in WWE today: the musical distraction. I HATE that finish.
**1/2 This was going good before that shitty finish.
-Ziggler joins the party. I can definitely see a heel turning face by joining the party instead of fighting Rose, taking the offer like when The Godfather used to give one to his opponents.
-I am never, ever, EVER watching Legend's House.
-Match 2: Aksana, Tamina Snuka, & Alicia Fox VS Natalya & The Funkadactyls
-Tamina does NOT look happy with her partners. In a totally-not-worked-for-TV storyline, The Funkadactyls lose Nattie's cat on Total Divas. Good news though, they happened to find it. I'll be honest: I couldn't give a fuck less about this match. Aksana's unreasonably-cocky heeling is aces though. Naomi does...something in the ropes that looks like it's supposed to be a face plant, but Aksana clearly has no idea how to take it, and it just looks shitty. Naomi finishes Aksana with the Rear View and a split-legged moonsault. Nattie decides now it is time to get bitchy about her cat. Who gives a shit?
*1/2 Wasn't bad or anything, I just don't care.
-I still have no idea what this Mr. T Mother's Day video is supposed to accomplish.
-Match 3: Goldust (w/Cody Rhodes) VS Curtis Axel (w/Ryback)
-It really is amazing how different Dustin gets when he puts on the gold paint. Without it (at least after his first run as Goldust) he's awful, but with it, he's tremendous. If only Axel could pair his solidness in the ring with his dad's charisma, he'd be golden. Sadly, that seems to have skipped a generation. Another technically fine match that doesn't really hold my attention. Goldust wins with the Final Cut, and Cody pretends to be happy for him. Yeah, your 40-something brother who was persona-non-grata this time last year is better and infinitely more over than you. YAY! It'll be nice when Cody finally loses to say, Rusev, and turns on Goldust for patting his already-injured back like a clueless doofus.
** I have nothing else to add.
-John Cena makes a rare Main Event appearance. It's still not going to get anyone to watch this show. Cena points out the obvious: that this Bray Wyatt guy you people are turning on me for is kind of a douche. HE LITERALLY ASKS FOR YOU GUYS TO LOOK LIKE SHEEP! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! Well, this promo would have been better had he said that. Cena believes in what is on all of his merch (so buy it now kiddos!): Never Give Up. And...that's it. OK then.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was a show. Nothing on it was bad, but nothing on it would make you think that this is a must-see every week.
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