-Adam Rose and the Rosebuds dance their way into the arena to kick of the show. It's amazing how he looks like a star on NXT, but it hasn't really translated to the big stage.
-Match 1: Adam Rose VS Comacho
-Rose escapes a full nelson...by rubbing his ass into Comacho's groin. He then jumps into Comacho's arms. Who decided to make him Rico? Comacho uses a couple straighjacket chokes as the crowd first sing-songs Rose's theme, then chants "PARTY TIME!" on the second attempt. Comacho drops a leg for two, but Rose fires back with punches, then catches Comacho with a spinebuster. Rose hits the SLIDING DICK TO THE FACE before giving the crowd THE CLAP and finishing with the Party Foul.
**1/2, pretty fun opener and a good showcase for Rose.
-William Regal & Byron Saxton dance to Rose's theme as the ultra-white Tom Phillips refuses to join in.
-Sami Zayn isn't happy about not being the #1 contender tonight and ready to take it out on Tyler Breeze.
-Match 2 for the NXT Tag Team Championship: The Ascension [c] VS Kalisto & El Local
-The champs go for the early jump, but promptly get caught with stereo ranas to send them both outside. The luchadores attempt dives, but get cut off with uppercuts as they stick their heads through the ropes. Kalisto plays FIP as Regal & Phillips argue over the whether the lack of competition for The Ascension reflects badly on them. Kalisto finally makes the hot tag, and Local cleans house, with Ricardo moving a lot faster than I've ever seen him. Just when it looks bad for the champs, Local gets caught with a big STO, and they finish with the Fall of Man. Best title defense I've seen for The Ascension so far. Of course, it's the first non two minute squash I've seen from them.
*** Fun show so far.
-A pretty great video profiles Tyler Breeze. Again, why don't they do this stuff more on the main shows?
-Match 3: Sami Zayn VS Tyler Breeze (#1 Contender's Match)
-New music for both guys. Breeze's is much, much better. They fight over arm locks to start, and Sami wins that. They then take turns pulling each other's hair, and Sami has the obvious advantage there too. Breeze manages to send Zayn from the second turnbuckle to the floor, and that allows him to take control for a bit. Breeze works a front facelock, but gets thrown off by Zayn. Zayn sends Breeze outside, and follows up with an Arabian Press, drawing a big "NXT" chant. Back in, Zayn gets a big cross-body for two. It takes a couple tries, but Zayn manages to hit Blue Thunder for two.
Breeze fires back with a mule kick and a spinning Impaler DDT for two, then pulls Zayn out of the corner into a sit-out powerbomb for two. Nice spot there. Breeze pounds away as Zayn looks out of it, but Zayn then catches Breeze with an exploder into the corner, drawing a "this is awesome" chant. They do a boo-yay punch exchange, then Zayn almost runs into the ref before getting schoolboyed for two. I totally bought that as a finish. Zayn runs into a NASTY superkick for another close two count.
Breeze pounds away as Zayn fires up, then they go through a convoluted series of counters, leading to a fucked up suplex bomb from Zayn for two. Breeze slides outside to avoid the Heluva Kick, but Zayn hits him with a flip dive instead. Back in, Zayn goes for the Heluva Kick, but Breeze catches him with an accidental low blow, then finishes with the Beauty Shot.
****1/2 This was fucking great, and a legit WWE match of the year contender. Zayn was awesome as alway, but this was big break out match for Breeze, in a spot where he needed one. The finish also adds to the build to the inevitable turn for Zayn, which should be interesting.
-Bret talks to Natalya, ostensibly about her match tonight.
-Lana comes out to introduce Rusev, who angrily waves the Russian flag. Mojo Rawley interrupts to stick up for the good old US of A and "shove that flag right up [Rusev's] Putin". That...does not go well for Mojo, and the massive shit kicking he takes immediately turns Rusev babyface on DVDVR.
-A video previews the women's title match.
-KRIS KRISTOFFERSON IS HERE!
-So is Paige! She sucks up to the crowd, and puts over the NXT Women's title as the key to the future.
-Match 4 for the NXT Women's Championship: Charlotte (w/Ric Flair) VS Natalya (w/Bret Hart)
-Charlotte has new Flair-themed music. They open up with some pretty smoove chain wrestling, and nice little touches like constantly shoving and sneering at each other. Nattie gets a nice rollup and a bodyscissors, then they exchange slaps before Charlotte lands a big chop to take control. Naitch struts in celebration. Nattie goes for a sleeper, but Charlotte counters into a backpack stunner for two. Charlotte controls for a bit, then escapes an abdominal stretch before hitting a low dropkick. Nattie comes back with a dropkick of her own for two, then knocks Charlotte off the apron after a trademark Flair Flip.
Charlotte wrenches Nattie off the apron to the floor by her leg, and gets two off that. Charlotte tries a moonsault, but takes forever setting it up, so it misses. That draws a "This is Awesome" chant as Bret tries to get Nattie back in the match. Nattie gets the Sharpshooter, but Charlotte manages to hang on, and roll through before countering into a figure 4. That was pretty damned slick, actually. Tom Phillips somehow gets confused as to who is applying the hold, as they exchange slaps then roll across th ring, leading to Charlotte hanging onto the hold as she rolls off the apron, but Nattie stays on.
Charlotte breaks the hold at four, then shoves Nattie into the steps. Charlotte goes to re-apply the figure 4, but thinks better of it, and gets a Sharpshooter. Nattie hangs on and tries to counter, but Charlotte kicks her away, and finishes with Bow Down to the Queen to win the title.
**** This was pretty damned great, actually. They did a good job of making it look like an actual struggle as opposed to two people running through (and trying to remember) their spots, which is always greatly appreciated by yours truly.
-They do the RoH handshake of respect that almost always makes no sense, with this being no exception. Charlotte has a total babyface celebration, which means they better be turning her soon.
-A video previews the main event.
-Nattie wishes Tyson good luck.
-Match 5 for the NXT Championship: Adrian Neville [c] VS Tyson Kidd
-This is probably the only show Tyson Kidd has and will ever headline that will be seen by more than 100 people. They have a feeling out process that lasts a couple minutes before Tyson takes complete control, hitting a suicide dive for two. Neville fights back, and they collide in mid air for a double KO. Neville lands a series of kicks, then fights off a bulldog attempt before hanging Kidd in the Tree of Woe and hitting a hesitation dropkick. Neville follows up with a springboard forearm for two, but Kidd fires back, and counters a suicide dive attempt with a kick to the head for two.
Kidd goes up top, but Neville cuts him off. Kidd blocks a superplex and goes for a sunset bomb, but Neville flips out of that, then catches Kidd with a pop-up sit-out powerbomb for two. Neville hits a stiff kick to the chest, but Kidd counters a springboard into a Russian leg sweep off the second rope for two in a nice spot. Neville gets his knees up to counter a splash. Kidd stops short, but gets rolled up for two. Kidd fires back with a kick, then they fight over a suplex, spilling out over the top in the process. They both barely make it back in at nine, then get caught calling spots on camera.
Kidd almost gets a Sharpshooter, then transitions into a Dungeon Lock (triangle choke with the legs locked as well), and adds some short kicks to the head while he has the hold on, but Neville hangs on and grabs the ropes to force a break. Neville gets caught up in the ropes, and Kidd hits a somersault leg drop for two. Kidd shows some frustration then goes up top. Kidd fights Neville off twice, but Neville runs the ropes a third time and hits a super rana, followed by the Red Arrow to retain.
***1/2 Pretty strong main event with both guys giving it everything they had, and fighting with desparation. Can't ask for much more than that.
-Kidd refuses a handshake after the match, and sulks his way to the back.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was an awesome show after some pretty lackluster TVs. The main roster guys are really going to have to step it up Sunday if they don't want to be outclassed by their supposed lessers in NXT.
TBHND
Well that's what I heard,,,
Friday, May 30, 2014
Saturday, May 17, 2014
NXT 5/15/14
-Match 1: NXT Tag Team Champions The Ascension VS Buddy Murphy & Elias Sampson
-Another quick squash for the champs. Sampson doesn't even tag in before they finish Murphy with the Fall of Man. Odd bit on commentary as William Regal questions why they keep facing jobbers. Good point. SQUASH
-The Ascension want someone new to destroy. They are answered by El Local & Kalisto. I really hope Local gets officially revealed as Ricardo at some point.
-Sami Zayn tends to obsess about things...and not get them. This time will be different, though.
-TYLER BREEZE HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING. That's a great shtick to bring back. It's been over 20 years since HBK had it, so it's fair game.
-Match 2-NXT Women's Championship Tournament Semi-Final: Alexa Bliss VS Charlotte (w/Sasha Bank)
-Pretty nice match with the veteran Charlotte controlling the whole way, focusing on the back and midsection. Charlotte actually WORKS holds when she has one on, something a lot of the main roster men don't actually do. Charlotte hits a back breaker to put Alexa in position to her flippy face plant, now called Bow Down to the Queen. **1/2
-Match 3: Mojo Rawley VS Aiden English
-Cute bit as Mojo gets in a three-point-stance, and English has to go outside to avoid him. This isn't the disaster a longer (read: past two minutes) match from Rawley would have seemed like a couple weeks ago. Mojo starts fast, English gets a heat segment, then Mojo makes his comeback and finishes with the Hyper Drive. Basic, but watchable. ** Mojo desperately needs a new finish still.
-Tyson Kidd notes that all the people making noise in WWE today came from NXT.
-Match 4: Angelo Dawkins VS Colin Cassidy
-An extended squash for Cassidy, and the most interesting part is CJ Parker walking through the crowd with a recyclable sign and the commentators' reaction to it. Cassidy finishes with the East River Crossing (spinning Rock Bottom). 1/2*
-Bo Dallas tries to talk JBL into letting him into the NXT title scene. JBL books Bo in a match for next week against Big E. If Bo wins, he gets a title shot. If he loses, he leaves NXT. Bo trying to remain positive throughout the segment is tremendous.
-Match 5 for the NXT #1 Contendership: Tyson Kidd VS Tyler Breeze VS Sami Zayn
-It's pretty briskly-paced, if not particularly memorable. The usual triple threat tropes are in full display here. Zayn hits the Heluva Kick on Breeze, but Kidd knocks Zayn to the floor, and finishes Breeze with a big elbow, as Zayn is a second too late to break up the pin. **1/2
-The most interesting part of this match (at least to me) is Zayn's heart broken reaction to not winning. The way the camera lingers on his face definitely seems to be foreshadowing a heel turn, which could be interesting.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This show was all about setting up NXT Takeover in two weeks, and it did a good job at making me want to see it. I'll have the week off, so I'll actually be able to check it out live.
-Another quick squash for the champs. Sampson doesn't even tag in before they finish Murphy with the Fall of Man. Odd bit on commentary as William Regal questions why they keep facing jobbers. Good point. SQUASH
-The Ascension want someone new to destroy. They are answered by El Local & Kalisto. I really hope Local gets officially revealed as Ricardo at some point.
-Sami Zayn tends to obsess about things...and not get them. This time will be different, though.
-TYLER BREEZE HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING. That's a great shtick to bring back. It's been over 20 years since HBK had it, so it's fair game.
-Match 2-NXT Women's Championship Tournament Semi-Final: Alexa Bliss VS Charlotte (w/Sasha Bank)
-Pretty nice match with the veteran Charlotte controlling the whole way, focusing on the back and midsection. Charlotte actually WORKS holds when she has one on, something a lot of the main roster men don't actually do. Charlotte hits a back breaker to put Alexa in position to her flippy face plant, now called Bow Down to the Queen. **1/2
-Match 3: Mojo Rawley VS Aiden English
-Cute bit as Mojo gets in a three-point-stance, and English has to go outside to avoid him. This isn't the disaster a longer (read: past two minutes) match from Rawley would have seemed like a couple weeks ago. Mojo starts fast, English gets a heat segment, then Mojo makes his comeback and finishes with the Hyper Drive. Basic, but watchable. ** Mojo desperately needs a new finish still.
-Tyson Kidd notes that all the people making noise in WWE today came from NXT.
-Match 4: Angelo Dawkins VS Colin Cassidy
-An extended squash for Cassidy, and the most interesting part is CJ Parker walking through the crowd with a recyclable sign and the commentators' reaction to it. Cassidy finishes with the East River Crossing (spinning Rock Bottom). 1/2*
-Bo Dallas tries to talk JBL into letting him into the NXT title scene. JBL books Bo in a match for next week against Big E. If Bo wins, he gets a title shot. If he loses, he leaves NXT. Bo trying to remain positive throughout the segment is tremendous.
-Match 5 for the NXT #1 Contendership: Tyson Kidd VS Tyler Breeze VS Sami Zayn
-It's pretty briskly-paced, if not particularly memorable. The usual triple threat tropes are in full display here. Zayn hits the Heluva Kick on Breeze, but Kidd knocks Zayn to the floor, and finishes Breeze with a big elbow, as Zayn is a second too late to break up the pin. **1/2
-The most interesting part of this match (at least to me) is Zayn's heart broken reaction to not winning. The way the camera lingers on his face definitely seems to be foreshadowing a heel turn, which could be interesting.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This show was all about setting up NXT Takeover in two weeks, and it did a good job at making me want to see it. I'll have the week off, so I'll actually be able to check it out live.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Main Event 5/13/14
-Rene Young ties to open the show by interviewing Paul Heyman about Cesaro's match against Sheamus. Paul is AGHAST that Rene would mention Sheamus in the same breath as a "Paul Heyman Guy". Just in case you forgot BAROCK LESNAR CONQUERED THE STREAK. Sheamus interrupts to let Heyman know who he is, and gives Heyman five seconds to get out of the ring before kicking his face in. Heyman acts all tough before bailing at four, but that's the moment where Cesaro jumps Sheamus from behind, and lays him out with the Neutralizer. Cesaro goes for the swing, but Heyman calls him off, wanting to leave something for later.
-Sandow tries to do a promo again, but gets cut off by Dolph Ziggler.
-Match 1: Damien Sandow VS Dolph Ziggler
-I'm intrigues by Sandow's new "loose cannon" gimmick. Remember when a guy getting repackaged and being more aggressive in the ring would result in a push? With wins and everything? Short match, which is all about Sandow. He busts out the Edge-u-cater, a great move for him. Ziggler escapes and wins with the Zig Zag anyway. Whatever. **
-Shield VS Evolution is officially announced for Payback. Not announced: what day the show is.
-Match 2: Emma VS Alicia Fox
-Fox jump-starts the match and just beats the shit out of Emma, drawing some heat in the process. She talks some trash, but doesn't seem to understand what "underrated" means. As with the first match, the more interesting participant dominates, but gets caught for a quick pin. *1/2
-Alicia loses her shit again, drawing a legit LOL from me by demanding the announce team's money. She follows up by tearing up their notes and stuffing them in their mouths. Tremendous.
-Sheamus is still ready for a fight.
-TALE OF THE TAPE. They need to do that more often.
-Match 3: United States Champion Sheamus VS Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman)
-They have a pretty damned fun all-out brawl, full of intensity, going about ten minutes before fighting into the crowd for a double count-out. Heyman's front-running is glorious as always. Give these guys 20 minutes at Payback and I'll be a happy man. ***1/2
-The fight continues, and Heyman hands Cesaro a chair, which he jams into Sheamus' ribs. Before he can use it again, Sheamus surprises him with a Brogue Kick, then celebrates to close the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was actually pretty worthwhile for a "C" show. I question the booking in the first two matches, but the entertainment value was there. Probably the best Main Event since WrestleMania.
-Sandow tries to do a promo again, but gets cut off by Dolph Ziggler.
-Match 1: Damien Sandow VS Dolph Ziggler
-I'm intrigues by Sandow's new "loose cannon" gimmick. Remember when a guy getting repackaged and being more aggressive in the ring would result in a push? With wins and everything? Short match, which is all about Sandow. He busts out the Edge-u-cater, a great move for him. Ziggler escapes and wins with the Zig Zag anyway. Whatever. **
-Shield VS Evolution is officially announced for Payback. Not announced: what day the show is.
-Match 2: Emma VS Alicia Fox
-Fox jump-starts the match and just beats the shit out of Emma, drawing some heat in the process. She talks some trash, but doesn't seem to understand what "underrated" means. As with the first match, the more interesting participant dominates, but gets caught for a quick pin. *1/2
-Alicia loses her shit again, drawing a legit LOL from me by demanding the announce team's money. She follows up by tearing up their notes and stuffing them in their mouths. Tremendous.
-Sheamus is still ready for a fight.
-TALE OF THE TAPE. They need to do that more often.
-Match 3: United States Champion Sheamus VS Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman)
-They have a pretty damned fun all-out brawl, full of intensity, going about ten minutes before fighting into the crowd for a double count-out. Heyman's front-running is glorious as always. Give these guys 20 minutes at Payback and I'll be a happy man. ***1/2
-The fight continues, and Heyman hands Cesaro a chair, which he jams into Sheamus' ribs. Before he can use it again, Sheamus surprises him with a Brogue Kick, then celebrates to close the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was actually pretty worthwhile for a "C" show. I question the booking in the first two matches, but the entertainment value was there. Probably the best Main Event since WrestleMania.
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Raw 5/12/14
-LAST WEEK: HHH uses his special COO powers to screw with the Shield.
-The Shield start the show. I am so glad Rollins isn't the terrible promo he used to be. Reigns is going to be money when he learns how to work a main event singles match. They challenge Evolution to a rematch at Payback. Evolution do the "show up in a limo after the show has already started" gimmick (at least it's not at the start of hour three). HHH signs in with security (he really should have pulled the "don't you know who we are?" card there), then The Shield fly in off-camera to get some licks in before being pulled away by security.
-Match 1: RVD (*sigh*) VS Jack Swagger
-Zeb bitches about Adam Rose. Rose shows up and distracts Swagger. The "match" lasts two moves. At least it was short. NO RATING
-Paige has a target on her back. With the way she's going through the division, they're going to have to call up some from NXT soon.
-Damn these BOLIEVE vignettes are awesome. I just hope he can live up to them.
-Match 2: Alicia Fox VS Divas Champion Paige
-Alicia tells Paige no one likes her and she should get out. Well that's just not nice. It takes JBL to point out that it's jealousy from the other Divas that they all failed to beat AJ, and she did it her first night in. That should definitely have been one of the babyface commentators' jobs. Fox beats the shit out of Paige, who hits one move, the Paige Turner, for the win. Pretty much what happened when she won the title. **
-Alicia loses her shit, pounding on the announce table, spilling JBL's beer before strutting away in his hat, while whining that she should be the champion. Well that was...something.
-A video recaps last week's Bryan/Kane angle. It's still goofy shit.
-Daniel Bryan comes out to announce that he's going to have neck surgery. He's not sure when he'll be back, but he will be back. Hopefully the "6-8 weeks" prognosis kicking around online is accurate.
-Match 3: John Cena & WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos VS The Wyatt Family
-The Wyatts open with a heat segment on Jey. Jimmy gets the hot tag, and Cole actually says "The Wyatts haven't been able to get out of the blocks here guys". Harper may have the best big boot in the business today. That thing is awesome. Rowan is so screwed when the Family breaks up eventually. He's far behind the other two in terms of ring work and charisma. Cena gets in, cleans house, and applies the WORST STF EVER on Rowan. I'm not a Cena hater (well, not anymore) but that was just terrible. The Usos save Cena from Sister Abigal, and he finishes Rowan with the AA. **1/2 Nothing special, but the crowd was hot for it.
-Evoution comes to the ring. They're going to do horrible things to The Shield, leaving Reigns for last. The Shield attack again and send Evolution running. Batista has has ENOUGH of this shit and challenges Reigns for tonight. It's Batista VS Batista 2.0!
-Match 4: Nikki Bella VS Natalya
-This is based off something that happened on Total Divas that actually happened months ago and is TOTALLY NOT WORKED AT ALL. IT'S ALL 100% REAL AND SHAME ON YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE! The other TD cast members are outside the ring, holding score cards to judge their moves. I couldn't give a fuck less. Nikki wins with a roll-up. Whatever. NO RATING, 'cause fuck this match that's why.
-Match 5: Curtis Axel VS United States Champion Sheamus
-Axel wins a coin flip with Ryback, and the fucking commentators can't even follow that without getting confused. Sheamus wins the Curtis Axel Special: technically fine but nothing particularly memorable about it. **
-Ryback jumps Sheamus, and that somehow leads to another match.
-Match 6: Ryback VS United States Champion Sheamus
-They actually have a pretty decent, if short, power match. Sheamus counters Shellshocked and finishes with the Brogue Kick. Nothing wrong with that, but what happened to Sheamus' heel turn? **1/2
-Sheamus VS Cesaro on Main Event. Color me interested!
-Stephanie comes out to passive-aggressively gloat about Bryan's neck surgery. She asks for him to come out, but instead gets Kane dragging what is left of him onto the stage. Cue the pearl clutching and OMG WHY ARE THEY BURYING BRYAN posts and tweets. Doctors, officials, Brie, and Steph just kinda stand around not doing much as Bryan is loaded onto a stretcher.
-Brie tells Steph to stay the fuck away as Bryan is loaded into an ambulance. Well, not in those terms.
-Match 7: Fandango (w/Layla) VS Dolph Ziggler
-I actually really liked this one, even though it was sans heat. It was pretty briskly-paced and well-executed. Layla first distracts Dolph, but then gets caught up in the ring apron, distracting Fandango long enough for Ziggler to pop up and hit the Zig Zag for the pin. ***
-Fandango declares his love for Layla. JBL freaks out at their PDA after talking up their coupling, and actually gets called out for it.
-Hacksaw Jim Duggan comes out to shill Legend's House. This naturally brings out Lana to sick Rusev on Hacksaw. Big E runs out to make the save, perhaps noticing Rusev's penchant for beating up on black guys. Rusev settles for kicking his ass instead.
-Match 8: Damien Sandow VS Cody Rhodes (w/Goldust)
-Sandow threatens to cut his own "pipe bomb" promo, but gets cut off by The Brotherhood. They give it the old college try, but the crowd just DIES the moment the bell rings. That's what happens when jobbers fight. Cody rakes the eyes and finishes with the Disaster Kick. **
-Bray challenges Cena to Round 3 at Payback.
-Match 9: Roman Reigns (w/Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose) VS Batista (w/HHH & Randy Orton)
-This is basically a set up for a fight between the two trios. Just when it looks like it may go bad for Evolution, Stephanie calls in the troops. After a huge attack on The Shield, HHH grabs a chair. Before he can use it, Reigns spears him. Rollins & Ambrose grabs chairs and lay out/chase away the flunkies, then Reigns hits a Superman Punch on Heath Slater, then they plant their old friend Ryback with a Triple Powerbomb. NO RATING Just there for the post-match antics.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: A watchable show with a couple WTF? moments. These three hour shows are way too long without a good Bryan match and/or a Shield 6 man to carry them.
-
-The Shield start the show. I am so glad Rollins isn't the terrible promo he used to be. Reigns is going to be money when he learns how to work a main event singles match. They challenge Evolution to a rematch at Payback. Evolution do the "show up in a limo after the show has already started" gimmick (at least it's not at the start of hour three). HHH signs in with security (he really should have pulled the "don't you know who we are?" card there), then The Shield fly in off-camera to get some licks in before being pulled away by security.
-Match 1: RVD (*sigh*) VS Jack Swagger
-Zeb bitches about Adam Rose. Rose shows up and distracts Swagger. The "match" lasts two moves. At least it was short. NO RATING
-Paige has a target on her back. With the way she's going through the division, they're going to have to call up some from NXT soon.
-Damn these BOLIEVE vignettes are awesome. I just hope he can live up to them.
-Match 2: Alicia Fox VS Divas Champion Paige
-Alicia tells Paige no one likes her and she should get out. Well that's just not nice. It takes JBL to point out that it's jealousy from the other Divas that they all failed to beat AJ, and she did it her first night in. That should definitely have been one of the babyface commentators' jobs. Fox beats the shit out of Paige, who hits one move, the Paige Turner, for the win. Pretty much what happened when she won the title. **
-Alicia loses her shit, pounding on the announce table, spilling JBL's beer before strutting away in his hat, while whining that she should be the champion. Well that was...something.
-A video recaps last week's Bryan/Kane angle. It's still goofy shit.
-Daniel Bryan comes out to announce that he's going to have neck surgery. He's not sure when he'll be back, but he will be back. Hopefully the "6-8 weeks" prognosis kicking around online is accurate.
-Match 3: John Cena & WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos VS The Wyatt Family
-The Wyatts open with a heat segment on Jey. Jimmy gets the hot tag, and Cole actually says "The Wyatts haven't been able to get out of the blocks here guys". Harper may have the best big boot in the business today. That thing is awesome. Rowan is so screwed when the Family breaks up eventually. He's far behind the other two in terms of ring work and charisma. Cena gets in, cleans house, and applies the WORST STF EVER on Rowan. I'm not a Cena hater (well, not anymore) but that was just terrible. The Usos save Cena from Sister Abigal, and he finishes Rowan with the AA. **1/2 Nothing special, but the crowd was hot for it.
-Evoution comes to the ring. They're going to do horrible things to The Shield, leaving Reigns for last. The Shield attack again and send Evolution running. Batista has has ENOUGH of this shit and challenges Reigns for tonight. It's Batista VS Batista 2.0!
-Match 4: Nikki Bella VS Natalya
-This is based off something that happened on Total Divas that actually happened months ago and is TOTALLY NOT WORKED AT ALL. IT'S ALL 100% REAL AND SHAME ON YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE! The other TD cast members are outside the ring, holding score cards to judge their moves. I couldn't give a fuck less. Nikki wins with a roll-up. Whatever. NO RATING, 'cause fuck this match that's why.
-Match 5: Curtis Axel VS United States Champion Sheamus
-Axel wins a coin flip with Ryback, and the fucking commentators can't even follow that without getting confused. Sheamus wins the Curtis Axel Special: technically fine but nothing particularly memorable about it. **
-Ryback jumps Sheamus, and that somehow leads to another match.
-Match 6: Ryback VS United States Champion Sheamus
-They actually have a pretty decent, if short, power match. Sheamus counters Shellshocked and finishes with the Brogue Kick. Nothing wrong with that, but what happened to Sheamus' heel turn? **1/2
-Sheamus VS Cesaro on Main Event. Color me interested!
-Stephanie comes out to passive-aggressively gloat about Bryan's neck surgery. She asks for him to come out, but instead gets Kane dragging what is left of him onto the stage. Cue the pearl clutching and OMG WHY ARE THEY BURYING BRYAN posts and tweets. Doctors, officials, Brie, and Steph just kinda stand around not doing much as Bryan is loaded onto a stretcher.
-Brie tells Steph to stay the fuck away as Bryan is loaded into an ambulance. Well, not in those terms.
-Match 7: Fandango (w/Layla) VS Dolph Ziggler
-I actually really liked this one, even though it was sans heat. It was pretty briskly-paced and well-executed. Layla first distracts Dolph, but then gets caught up in the ring apron, distracting Fandango long enough for Ziggler to pop up and hit the Zig Zag for the pin. ***
-Fandango declares his love for Layla. JBL freaks out at their PDA after talking up their coupling, and actually gets called out for it.
-Hacksaw Jim Duggan comes out to shill Legend's House. This naturally brings out Lana to sick Rusev on Hacksaw. Big E runs out to make the save, perhaps noticing Rusev's penchant for beating up on black guys. Rusev settles for kicking his ass instead.
-Match 8: Damien Sandow VS Cody Rhodes (w/Goldust)
-Sandow threatens to cut his own "pipe bomb" promo, but gets cut off by The Brotherhood. They give it the old college try, but the crowd just DIES the moment the bell rings. That's what happens when jobbers fight. Cody rakes the eyes and finishes with the Disaster Kick. **
-Bray challenges Cena to Round 3 at Payback.
-Match 9: Roman Reigns (w/Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose) VS Batista (w/HHH & Randy Orton)
-This is basically a set up for a fight between the two trios. Just when it looks like it may go bad for Evolution, Stephanie calls in the troops. After a huge attack on The Shield, HHH grabs a chair. Before he can use it, Reigns spears him. Rollins & Ambrose grabs chairs and lay out/chase away the flunkies, then Reigns hits a Superman Punch on Heath Slater, then they plant their old friend Ryback with a Triple Powerbomb. NO RATING Just there for the post-match antics.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: A watchable show with a couple WTF? moments. These three hour shows are way too long without a good Bryan match and/or a Shield 6 man to carry them.
-
Sunday, May 11, 2014
RoH TV for Mother's Day Weekend
-Match 1: Mike Posey VS RD Evans (w/Veda Scott & Ramon)
-So the streak is now 99-0, and Evans has a "YES" chant rip-off. Cute opening as Evans blocks a kick, and uses his height to slap Posey around. This match ends up being all about cuteness, as Posey dubs himself "King of the Legdrop" and misses a bunch of them. Evans hits a spear and acts like Goldberg before trying to finish with a small package instead of a jackhammer. Evans finishes with a top rope legdrop to go "100-0". *1/2 This whole deal with Evans and the streak is so weird. It's different, which makes it stand out from the "serious business" RoH is most of the time.
-Now it's the first live "Fish Tank". reDRagon try, with varying success, to be hipster versions of Chris Jericho circa 1998. They annoy their guest Michael Elgin, leading to a match.
-Jay Briscoe wants his fake world title belt back. Well he shouldn't have put it on the line in a match then.
-Match 2: reDRagon VS Hanson & Raymond Rowe
-The crowd goes from hot for a possible match involving reDRagon and Elgin, to silent when Hanson & Rowe come out and hit some nice power moves. The rookies dominate, and I really don't get having your dominate tag team and current #1 contenders being treated like a joke. reDRagon end up bailing and getting counted out, running into the crowd to escape when Elgin tries backing them into the ring. I don't get this at all. *, for some nice stuff from the rookies.
-MOMENTS AGO: reDRagon run from the building and escape in Kyle's mom's van.
-Match 3: RoH World Champion Adam Cole, Matt Hardy, & Michael Bennett (w/Maria) VS Kevin Steen & The Briscoes
-Hardy has put a sticker with his face on it over the visage of Jay on the fake world title. Again the crowd pops for the entrances, then dies once the bell rings. They try to copy the Shield PPV 6 man formula with a chaotic opening before settling into a lengthy heat segment (in this case on Mark Briscoe), but it doesn't work in front of a small crowd that doesn't seem to care very much. The faces make a comeback before Jay & Hardy fight to the back, then Cole pins Mark with the Florida Key. **1/2 Decent tag formula stuff, but damn am I glad this taping cycle is over.
-Cole & Bennett go for a beatdown on Steen, but Mark helps Steen fight back, and Steen ends the show by beating the shit out of Adam Cole, trying twice, and failing, to powerbomb him through the timekeeper's table.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: I wonder who gave reDRagon a Chris Jericho comp.
-
-So the streak is now 99-0, and Evans has a "YES" chant rip-off. Cute opening as Evans blocks a kick, and uses his height to slap Posey around. This match ends up being all about cuteness, as Posey dubs himself "King of the Legdrop" and misses a bunch of them. Evans hits a spear and acts like Goldberg before trying to finish with a small package instead of a jackhammer. Evans finishes with a top rope legdrop to go "100-0". *1/2 This whole deal with Evans and the streak is so weird. It's different, which makes it stand out from the "serious business" RoH is most of the time.
-Now it's the first live "Fish Tank". reDRagon try, with varying success, to be hipster versions of Chris Jericho circa 1998. They annoy their guest Michael Elgin, leading to a match.
-Jay Briscoe wants his fake world title belt back. Well he shouldn't have put it on the line in a match then.
-Match 2: reDRagon VS Hanson & Raymond Rowe
-The crowd goes from hot for a possible match involving reDRagon and Elgin, to silent when Hanson & Rowe come out and hit some nice power moves. The rookies dominate, and I really don't get having your dominate tag team and current #1 contenders being treated like a joke. reDRagon end up bailing and getting counted out, running into the crowd to escape when Elgin tries backing them into the ring. I don't get this at all. *, for some nice stuff from the rookies.
-MOMENTS AGO: reDRagon run from the building and escape in Kyle's mom's van.
-Match 3: RoH World Champion Adam Cole, Matt Hardy, & Michael Bennett (w/Maria) VS Kevin Steen & The Briscoes
-Hardy has put a sticker with his face on it over the visage of Jay on the fake world title. Again the crowd pops for the entrances, then dies once the bell rings. They try to copy the Shield PPV 6 man formula with a chaotic opening before settling into a lengthy heat segment (in this case on Mark Briscoe), but it doesn't work in front of a small crowd that doesn't seem to care very much. The faces make a comeback before Jay & Hardy fight to the back, then Cole pins Mark with the Florida Key. **1/2 Decent tag formula stuff, but damn am I glad this taping cycle is over.
-Cole & Bennett go for a beatdown on Steen, but Mark helps Steen fight back, and Steen ends the show by beating the shit out of Adam Cole, trying twice, and failing, to powerbomb him through the timekeeper's table.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: I wonder who gave reDRagon a Chris Jericho comp.
-
Friday, May 9, 2014
NXT 5/8/14
-Hosts are Jason Albert, Rene Young, & one of the interchangeable other guys.
-Match 1-NXT Women's Championship Tournament First Round: Emma VS Charlotte (w/Sasha Banks)
-As someone who has only been watching NXT since Arrival and didn't see it evolve, Emma's act comes off as so forced it's ridiculous. Charlotte is such a perfect ring name for Ric Flair's daughter. Her AJ Styles-esque rib tattoo...not so much. Not much of a match, as Charlotte dominates until Emma makes a brief comeback, only to accidentally hit Sasha with the pink cobra (not a euphemism), and get caught in a nice rollup by Charlotte (which is ripe for a pervy screen cap) for the pin. *1/2
-Match 2: The Legionnares (Sylvester LaFort & Marcus Louis) VS El Local & Kalisto
-Oh shit! Here comes La Resistance 3.0! Local is a masked Ricard Rodriguez. Kalisto thankfully wrestles shirtless, so I know which is which. Ricardo plays FIP for a few minutes before Kalisto gets in, and Kalisto impresses everyone with his segment. Kalisto finishes LaFort with a handspring into an enziguiri. Kalisto has already translated to WWE better than Sin Cara 1.0 ever did. **1/2 OK short version of the tag formula. Kalisto is going to be something if he can keep it up.
-Match 3: Comacho VS Captain Comic
-CC is the guy in the Rose party who is dressed as a luchadore. Someone on the NXT creative staff must have gotten some CHIKARA DVDs. I agree with the DVDVR board in that Comacho needs to stop pretending to be a Hispanic guy who doesn't look remotely Hispanic, and embrace his Meng Dynasty heritage. Comacho squashes the fuck out of CC and finishes with a powerslam, but it takes way too long. 1/2*, just because I am starting to like Comacho.
-Adam Rose saves his buddy from a further beating.
-Match 4-NXT Women's Championship Tournament First Round: Alicia Fox VS Alexa Bliss
-Bliss looks a bit like a tiny version of Taryn Tyrell a.k.a. Tiffany. They have a hell of a little match, actually, with both busting out some nice moves, including a sweet finish, as Bliss counters a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into a small (heh) package for the pin. Good debut for Bliss, but I can see the "fairy" stuff eventually backfiring and turning her heel. **1/2
-Adrian Neville is ready for whoever wins the #1 contender's battle royal.
-Match 5: Battle Royal to Determine the #1 Contender to the NXT Championship
-Mojo Rawley had better not win this. Brodus Clay eliminates a couple guys (as the crowd sarcastically chants for Yoshi Tatsu), before getting ganged up on and eliminated. Mason Ryan gets his only good WWE moment: pressing Aiden English over his head before tossing him to the floor. Still more chants for Tatsu. How is Corey Graves not in this? The dead weight lasts WAY too long in this. Bo Dallas finally starts eliminating some peeps before getting tossed by Tyson Kidd, leaving it Kidd VS Zayn VS Breeze. The crowd gets behind Zayn, but sadly his gimmick is not actually winning anything. This somehow leads to the final three all hitting the floor at the same time. The crowd, sensing where this is going, chants for a triple threat. The crowd chants for JBL, since he ostensibly runs the show, but NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, HERE COMES TRIPLE H! He makes a triple threat for next week. Alrighty then.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: Decent build for the upcoming TAKEOVER show, even if the quality of a battle royal is inversely proportionate to how long it takes before getting to the final four or so, and this one took forever. Still, a couple pretty impressive debuts in Bliss & Kalisto make this worthwhile.
-Match 1-NXT Women's Championship Tournament First Round: Emma VS Charlotte (w/Sasha Banks)
-As someone who has only been watching NXT since Arrival and didn't see it evolve, Emma's act comes off as so forced it's ridiculous. Charlotte is such a perfect ring name for Ric Flair's daughter. Her AJ Styles-esque rib tattoo...not so much. Not much of a match, as Charlotte dominates until Emma makes a brief comeback, only to accidentally hit Sasha with the pink cobra (not a euphemism), and get caught in a nice rollup by Charlotte (which is ripe for a pervy screen cap) for the pin. *1/2
-Match 2: The Legionnares (Sylvester LaFort & Marcus Louis) VS El Local & Kalisto
-Oh shit! Here comes La Resistance 3.0! Local is a masked Ricard Rodriguez. Kalisto thankfully wrestles shirtless, so I know which is which. Ricardo plays FIP for a few minutes before Kalisto gets in, and Kalisto impresses everyone with his segment. Kalisto finishes LaFort with a handspring into an enziguiri. Kalisto has already translated to WWE better than Sin Cara 1.0 ever did. **1/2 OK short version of the tag formula. Kalisto is going to be something if he can keep it up.
-Match 3: Comacho VS Captain Comic
-CC is the guy in the Rose party who is dressed as a luchadore. Someone on the NXT creative staff must have gotten some CHIKARA DVDs. I agree with the DVDVR board in that Comacho needs to stop pretending to be a Hispanic guy who doesn't look remotely Hispanic, and embrace his Meng Dynasty heritage. Comacho squashes the fuck out of CC and finishes with a powerslam, but it takes way too long. 1/2*, just because I am starting to like Comacho.
-Adam Rose saves his buddy from a further beating.
-Match 4-NXT Women's Championship Tournament First Round: Alicia Fox VS Alexa Bliss
-Bliss looks a bit like a tiny version of Taryn Tyrell a.k.a. Tiffany. They have a hell of a little match, actually, with both busting out some nice moves, including a sweet finish, as Bliss counters a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into a small (heh) package for the pin. Good debut for Bliss, but I can see the "fairy" stuff eventually backfiring and turning her heel. **1/2
-Adrian Neville is ready for whoever wins the #1 contender's battle royal.
-Match 5: Battle Royal to Determine the #1 Contender to the NXT Championship
-Mojo Rawley had better not win this. Brodus Clay eliminates a couple guys (as the crowd sarcastically chants for Yoshi Tatsu), before getting ganged up on and eliminated. Mason Ryan gets his only good WWE moment: pressing Aiden English over his head before tossing him to the floor. Still more chants for Tatsu. How is Corey Graves not in this? The dead weight lasts WAY too long in this. Bo Dallas finally starts eliminating some peeps before getting tossed by Tyson Kidd, leaving it Kidd VS Zayn VS Breeze. The crowd gets behind Zayn, but sadly his gimmick is not actually winning anything. This somehow leads to the final three all hitting the floor at the same time. The crowd, sensing where this is going, chants for a triple threat. The crowd chants for JBL, since he ostensibly runs the show, but NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, HERE COMES TRIPLE H! He makes a triple threat for next week. Alrighty then.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: Decent build for the upcoming TAKEOVER show, even if the quality of a battle royal is inversely proportionate to how long it takes before getting to the final four or so, and this one took forever. Still, a couple pretty impressive debuts in Bliss & Kalisto make this worthwhile.
Main Event 5/6/14
-Don't feel like doing quasi-PBP anymore, but I wasn't happy with the Raw "paying half attention" review, so I'm going to try a more stream-of-consciousness review for the rest of the week's shows and see how that goes.
-From Buffalo, NY
-Match 1: Dolph Ziggler VS Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter)
-The crew immediately annoy me by completely ignoring the match in favor in talking about Raw. This includes Zeb, who joins the team. If more people actually watched this show, I could see there being a furor over Zeb telling Byron Saxton "You don't look like you're from Virginia" while giving white bread Phillips a pass. Ziggler takes a ridiculously dumb bump, smacking his head on the post, then the steps. Zeb puts all WWE Superstars over as being world-class athletes, which immediately makes him better than anyone on the main shows.
They're actually having a decent little match here. I wonder if Swagger would get over if they went more "creepy Deliverance cast member" with him. Adam Rose interrupts, leading to the most-protected finish in WWE today: the musical distraction. I HATE that finish.
**1/2 This was going good before that shitty finish.
-Ziggler joins the party. I can definitely see a heel turning face by joining the party instead of fighting Rose, taking the offer like when The Godfather used to give one to his opponents.
-I am never, ever, EVER watching Legend's House.
-Match 2: Aksana, Tamina Snuka, & Alicia Fox VS Natalya & The Funkadactyls
-Tamina does NOT look happy with her partners. In a totally-not-worked-for-TV storyline, The Funkadactyls lose Nattie's cat on Total Divas. Good news though, they happened to find it. I'll be honest: I couldn't give a fuck less about this match. Aksana's unreasonably-cocky heeling is aces though. Naomi does...something in the ropes that looks like it's supposed to be a face plant, but Aksana clearly has no idea how to take it, and it just looks shitty. Naomi finishes Aksana with the Rear View and a split-legged moonsault. Nattie decides now it is time to get bitchy about her cat. Who gives a shit?
*1/2 Wasn't bad or anything, I just don't care.
-I still have no idea what this Mr. T Mother's Day video is supposed to accomplish.
-Match 3: Goldust (w/Cody Rhodes) VS Curtis Axel (w/Ryback)
-It really is amazing how different Dustin gets when he puts on the gold paint. Without it (at least after his first run as Goldust) he's awful, but with it, he's tremendous. If only Axel could pair his solidness in the ring with his dad's charisma, he'd be golden. Sadly, that seems to have skipped a generation. Another technically fine match that doesn't really hold my attention. Goldust wins with the Final Cut, and Cody pretends to be happy for him. Yeah, your 40-something brother who was persona-non-grata this time last year is better and infinitely more over than you. YAY! It'll be nice when Cody finally loses to say, Rusev, and turns on Goldust for patting his already-injured back like a clueless doofus.
** I have nothing else to add.
-John Cena makes a rare Main Event appearance. It's still not going to get anyone to watch this show. Cena points out the obvious: that this Bray Wyatt guy you people are turning on me for is kind of a douche. HE LITERALLY ASKS FOR YOU GUYS TO LOOK LIKE SHEEP! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! Well, this promo would have been better had he said that. Cena believes in what is on all of his merch (so buy it now kiddos!): Never Give Up. And...that's it. OK then.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was a show. Nothing on it was bad, but nothing on it would make you think that this is a must-see every week.
-From Buffalo, NY
-Match 1: Dolph Ziggler VS Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter)
-The crew immediately annoy me by completely ignoring the match in favor in talking about Raw. This includes Zeb, who joins the team. If more people actually watched this show, I could see there being a furor over Zeb telling Byron Saxton "You don't look like you're from Virginia" while giving white bread Phillips a pass. Ziggler takes a ridiculously dumb bump, smacking his head on the post, then the steps. Zeb puts all WWE Superstars over as being world-class athletes, which immediately makes him better than anyone on the main shows.
They're actually having a decent little match here. I wonder if Swagger would get over if they went more "creepy Deliverance cast member" with him. Adam Rose interrupts, leading to the most-protected finish in WWE today: the musical distraction. I HATE that finish.
**1/2 This was going good before that shitty finish.
-Ziggler joins the party. I can definitely see a heel turning face by joining the party instead of fighting Rose, taking the offer like when The Godfather used to give one to his opponents.
-I am never, ever, EVER watching Legend's House.
-Match 2: Aksana, Tamina Snuka, & Alicia Fox VS Natalya & The Funkadactyls
-Tamina does NOT look happy with her partners. In a totally-not-worked-for-TV storyline, The Funkadactyls lose Nattie's cat on Total Divas. Good news though, they happened to find it. I'll be honest: I couldn't give a fuck less about this match. Aksana's unreasonably-cocky heeling is aces though. Naomi does...something in the ropes that looks like it's supposed to be a face plant, but Aksana clearly has no idea how to take it, and it just looks shitty. Naomi finishes Aksana with the Rear View and a split-legged moonsault. Nattie decides now it is time to get bitchy about her cat. Who gives a shit?
*1/2 Wasn't bad or anything, I just don't care.
-I still have no idea what this Mr. T Mother's Day video is supposed to accomplish.
-Match 3: Goldust (w/Cody Rhodes) VS Curtis Axel (w/Ryback)
-It really is amazing how different Dustin gets when he puts on the gold paint. Without it (at least after his first run as Goldust) he's awful, but with it, he's tremendous. If only Axel could pair his solidness in the ring with his dad's charisma, he'd be golden. Sadly, that seems to have skipped a generation. Another technically fine match that doesn't really hold my attention. Goldust wins with the Final Cut, and Cody pretends to be happy for him. Yeah, your 40-something brother who was persona-non-grata this time last year is better and infinitely more over than you. YAY! It'll be nice when Cody finally loses to say, Rusev, and turns on Goldust for patting his already-injured back like a clueless doofus.
** I have nothing else to add.
-John Cena makes a rare Main Event appearance. It's still not going to get anyone to watch this show. Cena points out the obvious: that this Bray Wyatt guy you people are turning on me for is kind of a douche. HE LITERALLY ASKS FOR YOU GUYS TO LOOK LIKE SHEEP! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! Well, this promo would have been better had he said that. Cena believes in what is on all of his merch (so buy it now kiddos!): Never Give Up. And...that's it. OK then.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was a show. Nothing on it was bad, but nothing on it would make you think that this is a must-see every week.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Raw 5/5/14
-Trying a slightly different format, since quasi-PBP gets more than a little tedious.
-From Albany, NY
-Match 1 for the United States Championship: 20 Man Battle Royale
-The match is mostly jobbers and midcarders, plus Big Show & Sheamus.
ELIMINATION ORDER:
1. Xavier Woods
2. Zack Ryder
3. R-Truth
4. Titus O'Neil
5. Sin Cara
6. Damien Sandow
7. Heath Slater (during commercial)
8. Someone else (during commercial)
9. Big Show (by about eight guys)
10. Mark Henry (by the same guys)
11. Kofi Kingston
12. Goldust
13. Cody Rhodes
14. Dolph Ziggler
15. Santino Marella
16.Curtis Axel
17. Ryback
18. Jack Swagger
19. Dean Ambrose
WINNER AND NEW UNITED STATES CHAMPION: Sheamus
NO RATING It was your typical battle royale, aside from a lengthy one-on-one segment to end it. I could probably figure out who the 8th elimination was, but I'm feeling lazy.
-Triple H comes out to gloat about Ambrose' title loss, and he books Shield/Wyatts IV as tonight's main event.
-Rene Young interviews Sheamus, who acknowledges that he's been spinning his wheels since his return. Sheamus brushes off Rene's implication that the title match was unfair.
-Bryan & Mrs. Bryan hang out backstage. Stephanie enters to tell them to stay put in their locker room until Bryan's match tonight, less he get mauled by Kane. Stephanie exits, and Kane's mask is on the door.
-Match 2: RVD VS Antonio Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman)
-RVD has a nasty shiner from last night's match. It's about time someone potatoed him back, although JBL claims it came on the missed frog splash that led to the finish. RVD does his usual, and Heyman is NOT happy about it. The crowd gets tired of this match quick, with a fairly loud "boring" chant breaking out just as Cesaro goes on offense. That's followed by an even louder "CM Punk" chant. He's not coming back guys. Cesaro clotheslines RVD outside, and Heyman is happy as we go to break. Heyman's front-running is tremendous.
The crowd gets into it, chanting for RVD. Cesaro gets RVD caught in the Tree of Woe and refuses to stop pounding on RVD, thus getting himself DQ'd. Heyman has to physically pull Cesaro away from RVD, saying that Cesaro could get himself suspended. Since when? Now Cesaro has done something heelish, which should please Jim Ross.
* RVD & Cesaro just do not have any chemistry whatsoever. The only thing they seem to do in a one-on-one match is run through their signature spots with not much in between.
-The Wyatts are here. Bray tells a story about Sister Abigail telling him that he would be a leader who would change the world, and he always believed her. Bray says that people always viewed him as a "piece of trash" and a "nobody", but that only makes him "becoming somebody" at Extreme Rules that much sweeter. Bray says the children see the truth (including the demonic child from the PPV). Bray admits to being a monster, and wanting to watch the world burn so that it can be rebuilt in his image. Bray says Cena is wrong in saying that Wyatt does what he does only for himself, while Wyatt claims it is for everyone. Wyatt claims that Cena is now alone, and that Wyatt will now be seen for what he truly is: a god. Good promo that provides a clarity and focus to what Wyatt's mission actually is.
-Match 3: Ryback (w/Curtis Axel) VS Cody Rhodes (w/Goldust)
-They give it the old college try, but no one gives a shit, not even the announce team, who spend most of the match talking about Wyatt/Cena. Goldust manages to get the crowd clapping, but that dies when Cody doesn't make an immediate comeback. Cody does make his comeback, and wakes the crowd up with a nice Disaster Kick. Cody goes up top, and as Goldust tries to stop Axel from interfering, Axel rams Goldust into the post, which causes Cody to fall right into Shellshocked for the pin.
*1/2 Slick finish aside, the match was nothing.
-The Bryans actually try to take Stephanie's advice and hang back, but the lights go out in their room, and Kane's mask is sitting on a light now.
-Los Matadores host a Cinco de Mayo celebration. Fernando can't say "Universe" correctly. That has to be a rib on someone. 3MB interrupt, and the FEUD MUST *sigh* CONTINUE. Slater trying to suck up to Los Matadores so they wouldn't attack him was great though.
-Match 4: Kofi Kingston VS Rusev (w/Lana)
-Lana's "oh how droll" reaction to the "USA" chant is awesome. Rusev beats two men, only to lose his first name. Kofi gives Rusev his toughest test yet, and the first decent match of the night. Pretty basic speed vs power psychology, with Rusev finally managing to catch Kofi on a cross-body attempt, hit a fallaway slam, and finish with the spinning slam followed by the camel clutch.
*** So help me, I love the Rusev's whole act. Lana is awesome as nu-Mrs. Drago.
-The Bryans try to get the fuck out of dodge, but Stephanie conveniently pops up to tell them they can't leave until after Daniel's match (and he'll be stripped of the title should he not wrestle), but hey, at least his match is next.
-Match 5: Alberto Del Rio VS WWE World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan
-They have a good match, tempered only by the fact that ADR has zero chance to win, and the crowd seems to be waiting for Kane to show up. They also could have done more to play into "Bryan is distracted by what could happen if/when Kane shows up". Nice finish as Bryan fights off the cross-armbreaker, and turns a tilt-a-whirl flying headscissors into the Yes Lock for the submission.
*** They hit all the right notes to have a really strong match, but there were some things missing. Like heat and suspense.
-Bryan and Brie take off to their car after Kane's music and pyro hit, but he's disconnected something so their car wouldn't start. Ask Cheri Joe Bates how much that sucks. Kane emerges from the back seat and goes for Brie. Bryan forces Kane to the hood of the car and drives off, forcing Kane to fall off and...lay perfectly still. The crowd LOLs at that one. Bryan makes the classic horror movie mistake of not making Kane is roadkill, and naturally Kane sits up, causing our heroes to leave ASAP. Ouch. This segment was a perfect example of why horror movies have scary music playing the whole time, because otherwise (and often still with said music) it just looks goofy as fuck.
-Match 6 for the Intercontinental Championship: Bad News Barrett [c] VS Big E
-The crowd is again on Barrett's side here. Nice spot as they fight on the apron and E goes for a spear, but Barrett moves, and E takes a nasty bump against the post. They recycle some spots from the PPV match. Nice finish as Barrett goes to the eyes to block the Big Ending, and finishes with the Bull Hammer to retain.
**1/4 Didn't like this as much as the PPV match. Still decent enough though.
-A crappy video shits all over an emotional speech from Mr. T about how much he loves his mom. This is somehow supposed to be a "Happy Mother's Day" message. WHAT. THE FUCK. WAS THAT?
-Zeb has a whole list of people that need to be deported. He's interrupted by Adam Rose, and his reaction to Rose's whole act is priceless. Rose gets on Zeb's nerves some more, than easily fights off Swagger before the entourage dances around Zeb. I have some worries about how the gimmick will translate to the big stage, but I think this was a good start, especially with the crowd singing his music after it stopped. The true test will be when he starts having matches though.
-Match 7: The Wyatt Family VS The Shield
-Typical good Shield/Wyatt action. A step below the sheer insanity of the first two matches, but well above the solid but oddly heat-less third match. Rollins flying around (including a standing shooting star, don't think I've seen that since Morrison left) never gets old. I wonder if they'll ever let him bust out the Phoenix Splash. They get a taste of the craziness in, with some neat stuff happening on the outside. Reigns may not be able to pull enough a main event singles match yet, but he's got the "cleaning house after getting the hot tag" deal DOWN. Rollins & Ambrose take Rowan & Harper out with dives, and Cole looks like an idiot yelling how R & H went through the table, when the table didn't budge. Evolution gets involved, somehow not drawing a DQ. OK, in a time when WWE refs are calling for DQs when guys take too long to get out of the ring after making a save in tag matches, how does that NOT draw one? Anyway, the Shield take everyone but Bray out, and he catches Reigns with Sister Abigail to put the Wyatts up 3-1 in the feud.
***1/2 Good stuff again. Not great like the PPV matches, where The Shield and their opponents are allowed to unleash as much insanity as they can muster, but good for a TV main event.
-Evolution complete the beatdown, even allowing Reigns a hope spot when he blocks a Pedigree, before promptly eating an RKO followed by the Pedigree. Evolution finish off the attack with a triple powerbomb on Reigns.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was like two different shows happening one after another. The first half was pretty damned boring, but then Rusev/Kofi happened, and things picked up, in-ring at least. The Bryan/Kane stuff is typical Kane main event feud cheese. I don't love it, but I can tolerate it, and certainly don't think WWE is trying to "bury" Bryan, as I'm already seeing some people claim. Some people are also pissing on Adam Rose's debut, but fuck them.
-From Albany, NY
-Match 1 for the United States Championship: 20 Man Battle Royale
-The match is mostly jobbers and midcarders, plus Big Show & Sheamus.
ELIMINATION ORDER:
1. Xavier Woods
2. Zack Ryder
3. R-Truth
4. Titus O'Neil
5. Sin Cara
6. Damien Sandow
7. Heath Slater (during commercial)
8. Someone else (during commercial)
9. Big Show (by about eight guys)
10. Mark Henry (by the same guys)
11. Kofi Kingston
12. Goldust
13. Cody Rhodes
14. Dolph Ziggler
15. Santino Marella
16.Curtis Axel
17. Ryback
18. Jack Swagger
19. Dean Ambrose
WINNER AND NEW UNITED STATES CHAMPION: Sheamus
NO RATING It was your typical battle royale, aside from a lengthy one-on-one segment to end it. I could probably figure out who the 8th elimination was, but I'm feeling lazy.
-Triple H comes out to gloat about Ambrose' title loss, and he books Shield/Wyatts IV as tonight's main event.
-Rene Young interviews Sheamus, who acknowledges that he's been spinning his wheels since his return. Sheamus brushes off Rene's implication that the title match was unfair.
-Bryan & Mrs. Bryan hang out backstage. Stephanie enters to tell them to stay put in their locker room until Bryan's match tonight, less he get mauled by Kane. Stephanie exits, and Kane's mask is on the door.
-Match 2: RVD VS Antonio Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman)
-RVD has a nasty shiner from last night's match. It's about time someone potatoed him back, although JBL claims it came on the missed frog splash that led to the finish. RVD does his usual, and Heyman is NOT happy about it. The crowd gets tired of this match quick, with a fairly loud "boring" chant breaking out just as Cesaro goes on offense. That's followed by an even louder "CM Punk" chant. He's not coming back guys. Cesaro clotheslines RVD outside, and Heyman is happy as we go to break. Heyman's front-running is tremendous.
The crowd gets into it, chanting for RVD. Cesaro gets RVD caught in the Tree of Woe and refuses to stop pounding on RVD, thus getting himself DQ'd. Heyman has to physically pull Cesaro away from RVD, saying that Cesaro could get himself suspended. Since when? Now Cesaro has done something heelish, which should please Jim Ross.
* RVD & Cesaro just do not have any chemistry whatsoever. The only thing they seem to do in a one-on-one match is run through their signature spots with not much in between.
-The Wyatts are here. Bray tells a story about Sister Abigail telling him that he would be a leader who would change the world, and he always believed her. Bray says that people always viewed him as a "piece of trash" and a "nobody", but that only makes him "becoming somebody" at Extreme Rules that much sweeter. Bray says the children see the truth (including the demonic child from the PPV). Bray admits to being a monster, and wanting to watch the world burn so that it can be rebuilt in his image. Bray says Cena is wrong in saying that Wyatt does what he does only for himself, while Wyatt claims it is for everyone. Wyatt claims that Cena is now alone, and that Wyatt will now be seen for what he truly is: a god. Good promo that provides a clarity and focus to what Wyatt's mission actually is.
-Match 3: Ryback (w/Curtis Axel) VS Cody Rhodes (w/Goldust)
-They give it the old college try, but no one gives a shit, not even the announce team, who spend most of the match talking about Wyatt/Cena. Goldust manages to get the crowd clapping, but that dies when Cody doesn't make an immediate comeback. Cody does make his comeback, and wakes the crowd up with a nice Disaster Kick. Cody goes up top, and as Goldust tries to stop Axel from interfering, Axel rams Goldust into the post, which causes Cody to fall right into Shellshocked for the pin.
*1/2 Slick finish aside, the match was nothing.
-The Bryans actually try to take Stephanie's advice and hang back, but the lights go out in their room, and Kane's mask is sitting on a light now.
-Los Matadores host a Cinco de Mayo celebration. Fernando can't say "Universe" correctly. That has to be a rib on someone. 3MB interrupt, and the FEUD MUST *sigh* CONTINUE. Slater trying to suck up to Los Matadores so they wouldn't attack him was great though.
-Match 4: Kofi Kingston VS Rusev (w/Lana)
-Lana's "oh how droll" reaction to the "USA" chant is awesome. Rusev beats two men, only to lose his first name. Kofi gives Rusev his toughest test yet, and the first decent match of the night. Pretty basic speed vs power psychology, with Rusev finally managing to catch Kofi on a cross-body attempt, hit a fallaway slam, and finish with the spinning slam followed by the camel clutch.
*** So help me, I love the Rusev's whole act. Lana is awesome as nu-Mrs. Drago.
-The Bryans try to get the fuck out of dodge, but Stephanie conveniently pops up to tell them they can't leave until after Daniel's match (and he'll be stripped of the title should he not wrestle), but hey, at least his match is next.
-Match 5: Alberto Del Rio VS WWE World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan
-They have a good match, tempered only by the fact that ADR has zero chance to win, and the crowd seems to be waiting for Kane to show up. They also could have done more to play into "Bryan is distracted by what could happen if/when Kane shows up". Nice finish as Bryan fights off the cross-armbreaker, and turns a tilt-a-whirl flying headscissors into the Yes Lock for the submission.
*** They hit all the right notes to have a really strong match, but there were some things missing. Like heat and suspense.
-Bryan and Brie take off to their car after Kane's music and pyro hit, but he's disconnected something so their car wouldn't start. Ask Cheri Joe Bates how much that sucks. Kane emerges from the back seat and goes for Brie. Bryan forces Kane to the hood of the car and drives off, forcing Kane to fall off and...lay perfectly still. The crowd LOLs at that one. Bryan makes the classic horror movie mistake of not making Kane is roadkill, and naturally Kane sits up, causing our heroes to leave ASAP. Ouch. This segment was a perfect example of why horror movies have scary music playing the whole time, because otherwise (and often still with said music) it just looks goofy as fuck.
-Match 6 for the Intercontinental Championship: Bad News Barrett [c] VS Big E
-The crowd is again on Barrett's side here. Nice spot as they fight on the apron and E goes for a spear, but Barrett moves, and E takes a nasty bump against the post. They recycle some spots from the PPV match. Nice finish as Barrett goes to the eyes to block the Big Ending, and finishes with the Bull Hammer to retain.
**1/4 Didn't like this as much as the PPV match. Still decent enough though.
-A crappy video shits all over an emotional speech from Mr. T about how much he loves his mom. This is somehow supposed to be a "Happy Mother's Day" message. WHAT. THE FUCK. WAS THAT?
-Zeb has a whole list of people that need to be deported. He's interrupted by Adam Rose, and his reaction to Rose's whole act is priceless. Rose gets on Zeb's nerves some more, than easily fights off Swagger before the entourage dances around Zeb. I have some worries about how the gimmick will translate to the big stage, but I think this was a good start, especially with the crowd singing his music after it stopped. The true test will be when he starts having matches though.
-Match 7: The Wyatt Family VS The Shield
-Typical good Shield/Wyatt action. A step below the sheer insanity of the first two matches, but well above the solid but oddly heat-less third match. Rollins flying around (including a standing shooting star, don't think I've seen that since Morrison left) never gets old. I wonder if they'll ever let him bust out the Phoenix Splash. They get a taste of the craziness in, with some neat stuff happening on the outside. Reigns may not be able to pull enough a main event singles match yet, but he's got the "cleaning house after getting the hot tag" deal DOWN. Rollins & Ambrose take Rowan & Harper out with dives, and Cole looks like an idiot yelling how R & H went through the table, when the table didn't budge. Evolution gets involved, somehow not drawing a DQ. OK, in a time when WWE refs are calling for DQs when guys take too long to get out of the ring after making a save in tag matches, how does that NOT draw one? Anyway, the Shield take everyone but Bray out, and he catches Reigns with Sister Abigail to put the Wyatts up 3-1 in the feud.
***1/2 Good stuff again. Not great like the PPV matches, where The Shield and their opponents are allowed to unleash as much insanity as they can muster, but good for a TV main event.
-Evolution complete the beatdown, even allowing Reigns a hope spot when he blocks a Pedigree, before promptly eating an RKO followed by the Pedigree. Evolution finish off the attack with a triple powerbomb on Reigns.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: This was like two different shows happening one after another. The first half was pretty damned boring, but then Rusev/Kofi happened, and things picked up, in-ring at least. The Bryan/Kane stuff is typical Kane main event feud cheese. I don't love it, but I can tolerate it, and certainly don't think WWE is trying to "bury" Bryan, as I'm already seeing some people claim. Some people are also pissing on Adam Rose's debut, but fuck them.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Extreme Rules 2014
-From East Rutherford, NJ
-Hosts are Cole, King, & JBL
-Pre-Show Match: El Torito (w/Los Matadores) VS Hornswoggle (w/3MB) [WeeLC}
-There are mini commentators, a mini ring announcer, and a mini ref. Someone is going WAY overboard to get on Vince's good side. Torito hits a flying headscissors, then a dive to take out 3MB. Hornswoggle tries a suicide dive, but hits the middle rope instead. Torito finds a mini-chair, and uses it to hit a headstand into a bronco buster. Jinder Mahal gets knocked into the ring, then takes an accidental headbutt to the nuts via Torito after Hornswoggle grabs Torito's tail. Hornswoggle gets a step ladder, but is afraid of heights, so it takes too long for him to jump, and he does so even after Torito invites him to. The mini-announcers are somehow even worse than the regular ones. We go to commercial. Mid match. On a PPV/Special Event.
Back from break, 3MB jump Los Matadores. During the break, Torito misses a dive off the barricade and crashes into the other side. Hornswoggle hits a "rolling blunder" with a chair on Torito's stomach. They go outside, where Hornswoggle slams Torito on the floor, then preps the mini announce table before splashing Torito through it with encouragement from Mahal. The crowd gets into it ironically, which gives it more heat than anything at a modern day RoH show. Hornswoggle accidentally hits Slater with a chair, and Slater takes an awful bump off the apron through a table. 3MB try to set something up on Torito, only to get cut off by Los Matadores, then Torito splashes Mahal & Los Matadores through a table covered by ladders. That's a ridiculous bump to be taking in a comedy match.
Speaking of stupid bumps, Hornswoggle gets Torito on a table on the outside, and McIntyre does a dive, crashing through the table when Torito moves. Torito finally ends things with a springboard sitdown splash, which puts Hornswoggle through a table for the pin.
NO RATING This was pretty surreal to watch, with the wrestlers killing themselves while the announce crew treat it like a joke. I have no idea what the point of this was.
-Match 1: RVD VS Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter) VS Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman) [Elimination Match]
-Heyman takes credit for the "Extreme Rules" concept before turning the crowd against him and introducing Cesaro, who gets a big pop anyway.
FIRST FALL: They take turns punching each other until Swagger & Cesaro hit a double back elbow. Cesaro hits Swagger with several uppercuts, but then Swagger gets a takedown for two. RVD monkey flips Cesaro right onto Swagger. RVD tries a cross-body, but Cesaro catches him, only to get kicked in the face by Swagger, who then covers Cesaro for two. Swagger hits RVD with several knees, but then gets backdropped to the floor. RVD follows that up with a sunset bomb on Cesaro, sending him off the apron to the floor. Swagger cuts RVD off with a big clothesline, and rolls him back inside before getting a near-fall. Swagger hits RVD with a wheelbarrow slam for two, then follows up with a Swagger Bomb for two. Cesaro gets the swing on Swagger, but RVD breaks it up with a spin kick that potatoes poor Cesaro right in the mouth.
RVD gets Cesaro in position for the Five Star Frog Splash, but Swagger runs the ropes and throws him before moving right into the Patriot Lock. Cesaro cuts that off with a springboard uppercut, and King momentarily forgets this is an elimination match. Swagger goes up, but gets cut off by Cesaro, who then hits a deadlift superplex, and RVD flies in out of nowhere with the frog splash for the pin. Cole gets confused for no reason, which in turn confuses King. Can't you guys pay attention?
SECOND FALL: Cesaro cuts off a back kick with an uppercut, then follows up with rolling gutwrench suplexes for two. RVD goes for his step-over kick, but Cesaro counters into a German suplex for two. I wonder how many neck injuries will happen before that move is banned again. They go outside, where Cesaro throws RVD into the barricade. Cesaro tries to walk the barricade, but gets kicked down, right in position for RVD's old apron spin kick, which draws an "ECW" chant. Cesaro rolls in the ring, right in position for Rolling Thunder for two. RVD adds a split-legged moonsault for two,
RVD grabs a garbage can, but Cesaro hits a baseball slide right into the can, knocking it into RVD. Cesaro goes for a can shot, but first gets caught with a rollup for two, then the Van Daminator. Frog splash hits can, and Cesaro finishes with the Neutralizer onto the can.
*** Fun opener, even if King & Cole forgot the rules. Would have been nice if RVD didn't feel the need to do his thumbs gimmick at every opportunity too.
-Daniel Bryan gets checked out by a doctor. Stephanie enters, and can't help overplaying her concern trolling by asking Bryan to surrender the title instead of getting killed by Kane. Bryan says he's walking out the champ, while Steph says he'll walk out Kane's bitch.
-Match 2: Alexander Rusev (w/Lana) VS R-Truth & Xavier Woods
-Lana gets some primo cheap heat by dedicating the match to Vladimir Putin. Rusev beats the shit out of both guys before the bell, and takes out Woods to leave it one-on-one. The crowd chants for Lana, and pops whenever she's on camera/the big screen. Truth manages to fight back and hit the Lie Detector (I REALLY hate that move) followed by a scissors kick for two, but gets caught looking to finish with the What's Up. Truth rolls out of a slam, but gets caught with a spinning heel kick, which draws some "ooohs" from the crowd, then Rusev finishes with his spinning slam and camel clutch.
*** Have to say I wasn't looking forward to this match going in (same with the triple threat), but I really liked how it played out. Makes Rusev look smart as well as powerful.
-Lana orders Rusev to CRUSH Woods, so he hits him with a pretty nasty fallaway slam on the floor. NOW he does something heelish when the feud is over (or should be over).
-Rene interviews Evolution. HHH says they have egos, but they're well-deserved.
-Match 3 for the Intercontinental Championship: Big E [c] VS Bad News Barrett
-Big E hits a shoulderblock, and Barrett takes a powder. Big E follows, and sends Barrett into the post. Barrett catches Big E with a couple kicks, then it's a BANG BANG elbow drop off the apron for two. Big E reverses a suplex, but runs into a back elbow. Barrett hits a tornado into a suplex for two, then slaps on a chinlock. Big E fights out, but runs into a cross-body for two. Barrett hits a big boot, and pounds Big E down before choking him in the ropes and adding some knees followed by another big boot.
Barrett sets Big E on the top rope, but takes time to showboat, allowing Big E time to recover and catch him with an overhead throw. Big E hits a belly-to-belly, then runs Barrett over. Barrett fights off a suplex from the apron into the ring, so Big E settles for a spear through the ropes instead. That gets two, then Barrett counters a big splash into the Winds of Change for two. Barrett avoids a charge in the corner, and hits Wasteland for two. Big E counters the Bull Hammer with a messed-up urinage for two, then hits a big splash. Big E calls for the Big Ending, but Barrett slides out. Big E ducks the Bull Hammer, then a flying version wins the title for Barrett.
**1/2 They worked hard and the finish was slick, but this didn't have a lick of heat. Maybe now we can have a second-tier champion that won't job all the time, unlike the last two times Barrett held the title.
-Adam Rose is still coming to Raw. That should be interesting.
-Match 4: Evolution VS The Shield
-Surprised this match is this early in the show. The Shield clear the ring to a big pop. HHH tries charging in as The Shield strategize, but gets caught with a punch by Rollins, and it settles into those two being legal. Rollins sends HHH outside and follows with a dive. Rollins rolls HHH back in and takes a shot at Orton, but that allows HHH to catch Rollins with a huge lariat to turn the tide. Rollins plays FIP, taking punishment from all three opponents. Rollins manages to hit a belly-to-back suplex on Orton, but HHH & Batista cheap shot Reigns & Ambrose to prevent a tag. Rollins hit a flying kick, and gets the tag to Ambrose moments later. Ambrose goes to town on Orton, stopping to blast Batista, then HHH. He almost gets a figure 4 on HHH then does get one on Orton, but HHH breaks that up. Reigns gets involved, and throws Batista into the barricade.
Reigns goes for a spear, but HHH moves and Reigns hits the steps. Now it's Ambrose's turn to play FIP, and the crowd chants "Boo-tista". Batista hits a short-arm clothesline for two, then tags in Orton. Orton hits a big clothesline for two, then HHH gets in to add some more punishment. Ambrose's "throw a punch at air as you fall down" spot is tremendous. HHH hits a spinebuster for two, then tags in Batista, who hits a flying back elbow (I've been waiting for that move to come back!) for two. Batista slaps on a chinlock as the crowd questions his wrestling ability. Ambrose fights out, but takes a big boot, and Batista tags HHH. HHH taunts Reigns & Rollins, but Ambrose blocks a Pedigree, and hits a big DDT.
Reigns gets the hot tag and cleans house. Rollins prevents a Batista Bomb on Reigns with a flying knee, and Reigns hits the Superman Punch. The Shield hit the Triple Powerbomb on Batista, but HHH saves. Rollins goes for a suicide dive, but he crashes and burns. HHH catches Reigns with the Pedigree. Ambrose takes HHH out of the picture, and Batista gets two. Orton hits Reigns with an RKO, but Rollins saves, and takes Orton (and a cameraman) out of the ring. Orton dumps Rollins into the timekeeper's section where HHH joins in the fight, then Ambrose sprints across both announce tables to save Rollins. Those four fight in the crowd as Reigns & Batista are still dead in the ring.
Orton & Ambrose fight it out as the crowd reacts to something that the camera misses. It appears to be something with HHH & Rollins, since they are both there. Whatever it was, it took Rollins out. Orton throws Ambrose down some steps, and HHH joins in to make it 2-on-1. Just when it looks like it's curtains for Ambrose, Rollins flies OFF THE BALCONY and wipes out both HHH & Orton. Back in the ring (yes there is an actual match still going on), Batista catches Reigns with a spinebuster. Batista goes for the Batista Bomb, but Reigns shoves him off, and hits a Superman Punch, followed by a spear for the pin.
****1/2 If this was any less than ****, it would have been a big disappointment. Fortunately, this was up to the Shield's PPV (not named WrestleMania) standards. I am so glad they changed their minds on splitting these guys up.
-The Shield celebrate their win. Reigns trying to carry Ambrose off the battlefield is awesome.
-Match 5: John Cena VS Bray Wyatt (w/Luke Harper & Erik Rowan) [Cage Match]
-Much less high-pitched support for Cena than usual, which actually plays really well into this feud. Some of the crowd do the "light up your cell phones and waive them" deal that RoH crowds used to do for Jimmy Jacobs. Bray whispers something into both Rowan's and Harper's ears before entering the cage. Cena gets a headlock, which for some reason signals to Cole that Cena is trying to end it early. Wyatt hits a shoulderblock, then a clubbing blow to the back after a Cena leap frog. Wyatt beats Cena down in the corner and tells him to "come on". Cena does so, hitting his shitty Fisherman's suplex. Cena tries to escape, but Harper & Rowan cut him off.
Wyatt goes to work as the customary dueling chants break out. Wyatt sends Cena flying into the cage, then tells Cena to apologize to his fans. Wyatt mashes Cena's face into the cage, then calls for Rowan to "crush him!", and Rowan throws himself against the cage to deliver a shot to Cena. Wyatt slugs Cena down for two then goes to leave via the door, but Cena cuts him off, and hits a catapult into the cage. Cena again climbs the cage and this time almost makes it all the way down, but Harper & Rowan cause him to hesitate, and that allows Wyatt to catch him.
Cena slugs Wyatt down from the top, but Wyatt charges into the ropes, which causes Cena to crotch himself. Wyatt dances with Cena before hitting a huge urinage for two. Cena almost gets the AA, but Wyatt fights out. Cena ducks a clothesline, and hits a dropkick. Cena starts climbing, then Bray spider walks towards the door, so Cena stops to cut Wyatt off. Wyatt hits his FAT GUT OUTTA CONTROL cross-body for two, then throws Cena into the cage. Cena comes back with his FIVE MOVES OF DOOM, but Wyatt grabs the cage to prevent an AA.
Cena hits a sit-out powerbomb instead for two, and calls for the door. Rowan closes the door and holds it, so Cena tries to force it open. He does so and gets one foot outside, so Harper gives his friend some help. Just when it looks like Cena might overpower them both. Wyatt blasts Cena from behind and hits...something for two after Harper & Rowan close the door on Cena. Cena avoids a senton and tries to escape, but Rowan maneuvers Cena onto Rowan's shoulders to force him back in. Cena hits Bray with a bulldog for two and tries to escape again. This time it's Harper who stops him. Cena pulls Harper in.
Cena climbs out as Wyatt makes for the door. Cena kicks the door into Wyatt's face, but Rowan grabs a chair and keeps Cena from hitting the floor. Wyatt hits a suplex into a toss, then a senton for two. Cena counters Sister Abigail into the STF. Wyatt crawls towards the door and uses the ropes to force Cena to break, so Cena pulls Wyatt back in. Cena avoids an interfering Harper, but Wyatt throws Cena into the cage. Wyatt tries to escape, but Cena grabs him, and hits an AA off the second turnbuckle. Wyatt is DONE, but Harper makes the save at two. Cena floors Harper with a big clothesline and climbs.
Rowan cuts Cena off, but Cena grabs his beard and rams his head into the cage, before hitting the flying famouser on Harper. Cena has it won, but then WYATT MAGIC summons a kid with a demonic singing voice, who distracts Cena long enough for Wyatt to recover, hit Sister Abigail, and leave the cage to win.
***1/2 Pretty sound psychology, with Cena being able to fight off all three Wyatts, which we've seen him do before, before falling victim to unforeseen tricks by Wyatt. I do think it's goofy that apparently Wyatt is supposed to be the "Man in Black" from LOST, and his escaping the cage is supposed to be akin to what would have happened if the MiB had escaped the Island.
-The Wyatts lead the kid by the hand to the back. I really hope he's one of their kids.
-The panel talk about what just happened.
-The announce team recap WeeLC.
-Match 6 for the Divas Championship: Paige [c] VS Tamina Snuka
-Paige beats Tamina down, and gets a slick schoolgirl for a one count. Paige gets a victory roll for one, followed by knees in the ropes. Paige goes up top, but Tamina slugs her down, and Paige crashes to the floor. Tamina works Paige over, then hits a big slam for two. She adds a couple more slams while trying to get the crowd to react (she fails) and a cover gets two. Paige fights back and they spill through the ropes. Paige goes for a rana off the apron, but Tamina blocks, and swings her into the barricade. That looked NASTY.
Tamina tries a superplex, but Paige counters into a sunset bomb for two (with the ref counting three). Paige hits a version of La Mistica for two, but then gets caught with a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Paige blocks a superkick, and finishes with the Scorpion Crosslock.
** They gave it the old college try, but getting stuck in the death spot never helps anyone's chances.
-The Wyatts celebrate Bray's win with Little Johnny. So THAT's who/what little Johnny is. The kid's distorted voice is goofy, but him putting on the lamb mask and staring into the camera is creepy enough.
-Match 7 for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Daniel Bryan [c] VS Kane [Extreme Rules Match]
-Bryan charges at Kane during Kane's entrance. It...does not go well. They get in the ring, and Bryan hits a super rana, followed by an IED and a cross-body that sends both of them to the outside. Kane scores with a big boot, and sends Bryan into the barricade. Kane hits a chair slam onto the barricade, but Bryan fights back with a kendo stick. Back in the ring, Kane counters a flying stick shot with an uppercut, then hits Bryan with a couple chairshots. Kane sets the chair up, then gives Bryan a sidewalk slam through it. Bryan avoids a chokeslam, then hits a drop toe hold that puts Kane's head into a chair that had been set up in the corner.
They go back outside, and Bryan takes apart both announce tables, stopping to hit Kane with whatever he can get his hands on. Kane manages to fire back and goes for a chokeslam off one table through another, but Bryan stops that, and hits a tornado DDT off the Spanish announce table. Bryan hits a couple kicks, but Kane simply grabs him by the head and sends him into the steps. Kane goes for a tombstone on the steps, but Bryan counters and sends Kane into the post.
Bryan grabs another kendo stick and wears Kane out. Kane puts a stop to that, and throws Bryan into the entrance set, shorting out a section of the lights. They go backstage to gorilla position, where Kane throws a flat screen TV at Bryan, who moves, causing the TV to go into a bucket of water and fuck with the electricity. They go further backstage and after Kane throws Bryan into one of the production trucks (Hey! There's Ezekial Jackson!), Bryan comes right back with a snow shovel. Bryan gets Kane onto the hood of a car and hits some mounted punches. Kane throws an air tank at Bryan but misses, shattering one car's windshield. Kane misses a punch and takes out a car window. Bryan gets a tire iron from that car and KO's Kane, before loading him onto a forklift and hitting more shots with the iron. Why can't he pin Kane back there?
Bryan drives the KO'd Kane back to the ring, then dumps him back inside before leading a "YES" chant and hitting a diving headbutt for two. Bryan goes for the running knee, but Kane counters into a chokeslam for two. Kane tries another chokeslam onto a chair, but Bryan counters into a DDT for two. Bryan chops Kane down with chairshots, then gets the Yes Lock. Kane tries using a kendo stick to break, but Bryan grabs it and uses it to help with the hold. Kane manages to slide out of the ring and break the hold. Bryan tries a suicide dive, but Kane catches him, and chokeslams him through the English announce table.
Kane pulls another table out from underneath the ring and sets it on fire, but Bryan throws him through it. Kane gets immediately doused with a fire extinguisher, and frantically runs into the ring, right into the running knee for the pin.
**1/2 This was OK, I guess. It struggled to keep my interest, even though I like the story that was told. I can see why they didn't give the flaming table spot more time to breathe, since the idea here seems to be that Kane is back to being an unstoppable monster, and that Bryan is good/fortunate enough to escape with the title.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: I liked this show for the most part. I LOVED Shield/Evolution, and liked Cena/Wyatt, although I can see why others won't. A better main event moves this show into "classic" territory, but it was not to be.
-Hosts are Cole, King, & JBL
-Pre-Show Match: El Torito (w/Los Matadores) VS Hornswoggle (w/3MB) [WeeLC}
-There are mini commentators, a mini ring announcer, and a mini ref. Someone is going WAY overboard to get on Vince's good side. Torito hits a flying headscissors, then a dive to take out 3MB. Hornswoggle tries a suicide dive, but hits the middle rope instead. Torito finds a mini-chair, and uses it to hit a headstand into a bronco buster. Jinder Mahal gets knocked into the ring, then takes an accidental headbutt to the nuts via Torito after Hornswoggle grabs Torito's tail. Hornswoggle gets a step ladder, but is afraid of heights, so it takes too long for him to jump, and he does so even after Torito invites him to. The mini-announcers are somehow even worse than the regular ones. We go to commercial. Mid match. On a PPV/Special Event.
Back from break, 3MB jump Los Matadores. During the break, Torito misses a dive off the barricade and crashes into the other side. Hornswoggle hits a "rolling blunder" with a chair on Torito's stomach. They go outside, where Hornswoggle slams Torito on the floor, then preps the mini announce table before splashing Torito through it with encouragement from Mahal. The crowd gets into it ironically, which gives it more heat than anything at a modern day RoH show. Hornswoggle accidentally hits Slater with a chair, and Slater takes an awful bump off the apron through a table. 3MB try to set something up on Torito, only to get cut off by Los Matadores, then Torito splashes Mahal & Los Matadores through a table covered by ladders. That's a ridiculous bump to be taking in a comedy match.
Speaking of stupid bumps, Hornswoggle gets Torito on a table on the outside, and McIntyre does a dive, crashing through the table when Torito moves. Torito finally ends things with a springboard sitdown splash, which puts Hornswoggle through a table for the pin.
NO RATING This was pretty surreal to watch, with the wrestlers killing themselves while the announce crew treat it like a joke. I have no idea what the point of this was.
-Match 1: RVD VS Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter) VS Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman) [Elimination Match]
-Heyman takes credit for the "Extreme Rules" concept before turning the crowd against him and introducing Cesaro, who gets a big pop anyway.
FIRST FALL: They take turns punching each other until Swagger & Cesaro hit a double back elbow. Cesaro hits Swagger with several uppercuts, but then Swagger gets a takedown for two. RVD monkey flips Cesaro right onto Swagger. RVD tries a cross-body, but Cesaro catches him, only to get kicked in the face by Swagger, who then covers Cesaro for two. Swagger hits RVD with several knees, but then gets backdropped to the floor. RVD follows that up with a sunset bomb on Cesaro, sending him off the apron to the floor. Swagger cuts RVD off with a big clothesline, and rolls him back inside before getting a near-fall. Swagger hits RVD with a wheelbarrow slam for two, then follows up with a Swagger Bomb for two. Cesaro gets the swing on Swagger, but RVD breaks it up with a spin kick that potatoes poor Cesaro right in the mouth.
RVD gets Cesaro in position for the Five Star Frog Splash, but Swagger runs the ropes and throws him before moving right into the Patriot Lock. Cesaro cuts that off with a springboard uppercut, and King momentarily forgets this is an elimination match. Swagger goes up, but gets cut off by Cesaro, who then hits a deadlift superplex, and RVD flies in out of nowhere with the frog splash for the pin. Cole gets confused for no reason, which in turn confuses King. Can't you guys pay attention?
SECOND FALL: Cesaro cuts off a back kick with an uppercut, then follows up with rolling gutwrench suplexes for two. RVD goes for his step-over kick, but Cesaro counters into a German suplex for two. I wonder how many neck injuries will happen before that move is banned again. They go outside, where Cesaro throws RVD into the barricade. Cesaro tries to walk the barricade, but gets kicked down, right in position for RVD's old apron spin kick, which draws an "ECW" chant. Cesaro rolls in the ring, right in position for Rolling Thunder for two. RVD adds a split-legged moonsault for two,
RVD grabs a garbage can, but Cesaro hits a baseball slide right into the can, knocking it into RVD. Cesaro goes for a can shot, but first gets caught with a rollup for two, then the Van Daminator. Frog splash hits can, and Cesaro finishes with the Neutralizer onto the can.
*** Fun opener, even if King & Cole forgot the rules. Would have been nice if RVD didn't feel the need to do his thumbs gimmick at every opportunity too.
-Daniel Bryan gets checked out by a doctor. Stephanie enters, and can't help overplaying her concern trolling by asking Bryan to surrender the title instead of getting killed by Kane. Bryan says he's walking out the champ, while Steph says he'll walk out Kane's bitch.
-Match 2: Alexander Rusev (w/Lana) VS R-Truth & Xavier Woods
-Lana gets some primo cheap heat by dedicating the match to Vladimir Putin. Rusev beats the shit out of both guys before the bell, and takes out Woods to leave it one-on-one. The crowd chants for Lana, and pops whenever she's on camera/the big screen. Truth manages to fight back and hit the Lie Detector (I REALLY hate that move) followed by a scissors kick for two, but gets caught looking to finish with the What's Up. Truth rolls out of a slam, but gets caught with a spinning heel kick, which draws some "ooohs" from the crowd, then Rusev finishes with his spinning slam and camel clutch.
*** Have to say I wasn't looking forward to this match going in (same with the triple threat), but I really liked how it played out. Makes Rusev look smart as well as powerful.
-Lana orders Rusev to CRUSH Woods, so he hits him with a pretty nasty fallaway slam on the floor. NOW he does something heelish when the feud is over (or should be over).
-Rene interviews Evolution. HHH says they have egos, but they're well-deserved.
-Match 3 for the Intercontinental Championship: Big E [c] VS Bad News Barrett
-Big E hits a shoulderblock, and Barrett takes a powder. Big E follows, and sends Barrett into the post. Barrett catches Big E with a couple kicks, then it's a BANG BANG elbow drop off the apron for two. Big E reverses a suplex, but runs into a back elbow. Barrett hits a tornado into a suplex for two, then slaps on a chinlock. Big E fights out, but runs into a cross-body for two. Barrett hits a big boot, and pounds Big E down before choking him in the ropes and adding some knees followed by another big boot.
Barrett sets Big E on the top rope, but takes time to showboat, allowing Big E time to recover and catch him with an overhead throw. Big E hits a belly-to-belly, then runs Barrett over. Barrett fights off a suplex from the apron into the ring, so Big E settles for a spear through the ropes instead. That gets two, then Barrett counters a big splash into the Winds of Change for two. Barrett avoids a charge in the corner, and hits Wasteland for two. Big E counters the Bull Hammer with a messed-up urinage for two, then hits a big splash. Big E calls for the Big Ending, but Barrett slides out. Big E ducks the Bull Hammer, then a flying version wins the title for Barrett.
**1/2 They worked hard and the finish was slick, but this didn't have a lick of heat. Maybe now we can have a second-tier champion that won't job all the time, unlike the last two times Barrett held the title.
-Adam Rose is still coming to Raw. That should be interesting.
-Match 4: Evolution VS The Shield
-Surprised this match is this early in the show. The Shield clear the ring to a big pop. HHH tries charging in as The Shield strategize, but gets caught with a punch by Rollins, and it settles into those two being legal. Rollins sends HHH outside and follows with a dive. Rollins rolls HHH back in and takes a shot at Orton, but that allows HHH to catch Rollins with a huge lariat to turn the tide. Rollins plays FIP, taking punishment from all three opponents. Rollins manages to hit a belly-to-back suplex on Orton, but HHH & Batista cheap shot Reigns & Ambrose to prevent a tag. Rollins hit a flying kick, and gets the tag to Ambrose moments later. Ambrose goes to town on Orton, stopping to blast Batista, then HHH. He almost gets a figure 4 on HHH then does get one on Orton, but HHH breaks that up. Reigns gets involved, and throws Batista into the barricade.
Reigns goes for a spear, but HHH moves and Reigns hits the steps. Now it's Ambrose's turn to play FIP, and the crowd chants "Boo-tista". Batista hits a short-arm clothesline for two, then tags in Orton. Orton hits a big clothesline for two, then HHH gets in to add some more punishment. Ambrose's "throw a punch at air as you fall down" spot is tremendous. HHH hits a spinebuster for two, then tags in Batista, who hits a flying back elbow (I've been waiting for that move to come back!) for two. Batista slaps on a chinlock as the crowd questions his wrestling ability. Ambrose fights out, but takes a big boot, and Batista tags HHH. HHH taunts Reigns & Rollins, but Ambrose blocks a Pedigree, and hits a big DDT.
Reigns gets the hot tag and cleans house. Rollins prevents a Batista Bomb on Reigns with a flying knee, and Reigns hits the Superman Punch. The Shield hit the Triple Powerbomb on Batista, but HHH saves. Rollins goes for a suicide dive, but he crashes and burns. HHH catches Reigns with the Pedigree. Ambrose takes HHH out of the picture, and Batista gets two. Orton hits Reigns with an RKO, but Rollins saves, and takes Orton (and a cameraman) out of the ring. Orton dumps Rollins into the timekeeper's section where HHH joins in the fight, then Ambrose sprints across both announce tables to save Rollins. Those four fight in the crowd as Reigns & Batista are still dead in the ring.
Orton & Ambrose fight it out as the crowd reacts to something that the camera misses. It appears to be something with HHH & Rollins, since they are both there. Whatever it was, it took Rollins out. Orton throws Ambrose down some steps, and HHH joins in to make it 2-on-1. Just when it looks like it's curtains for Ambrose, Rollins flies OFF THE BALCONY and wipes out both HHH & Orton. Back in the ring (yes there is an actual match still going on), Batista catches Reigns with a spinebuster. Batista goes for the Batista Bomb, but Reigns shoves him off, and hits a Superman Punch, followed by a spear for the pin.
****1/2 If this was any less than ****, it would have been a big disappointment. Fortunately, this was up to the Shield's PPV (not named WrestleMania) standards. I am so glad they changed their minds on splitting these guys up.
-The Shield celebrate their win. Reigns trying to carry Ambrose off the battlefield is awesome.
-Match 5: John Cena VS Bray Wyatt (w/Luke Harper & Erik Rowan) [Cage Match]
-Much less high-pitched support for Cena than usual, which actually plays really well into this feud. Some of the crowd do the "light up your cell phones and waive them" deal that RoH crowds used to do for Jimmy Jacobs. Bray whispers something into both Rowan's and Harper's ears before entering the cage. Cena gets a headlock, which for some reason signals to Cole that Cena is trying to end it early. Wyatt hits a shoulderblock, then a clubbing blow to the back after a Cena leap frog. Wyatt beats Cena down in the corner and tells him to "come on". Cena does so, hitting his shitty Fisherman's suplex. Cena tries to escape, but Harper & Rowan cut him off.
Wyatt goes to work as the customary dueling chants break out. Wyatt sends Cena flying into the cage, then tells Cena to apologize to his fans. Wyatt mashes Cena's face into the cage, then calls for Rowan to "crush him!", and Rowan throws himself against the cage to deliver a shot to Cena. Wyatt slugs Cena down for two then goes to leave via the door, but Cena cuts him off, and hits a catapult into the cage. Cena again climbs the cage and this time almost makes it all the way down, but Harper & Rowan cause him to hesitate, and that allows Wyatt to catch him.
Cena slugs Wyatt down from the top, but Wyatt charges into the ropes, which causes Cena to crotch himself. Wyatt dances with Cena before hitting a huge urinage for two. Cena almost gets the AA, but Wyatt fights out. Cena ducks a clothesline, and hits a dropkick. Cena starts climbing, then Bray spider walks towards the door, so Cena stops to cut Wyatt off. Wyatt hits his FAT GUT OUTTA CONTROL cross-body for two, then throws Cena into the cage. Cena comes back with his FIVE MOVES OF DOOM, but Wyatt grabs the cage to prevent an AA.
Cena hits a sit-out powerbomb instead for two, and calls for the door. Rowan closes the door and holds it, so Cena tries to force it open. He does so and gets one foot outside, so Harper gives his friend some help. Just when it looks like Cena might overpower them both. Wyatt blasts Cena from behind and hits...something for two after Harper & Rowan close the door on Cena. Cena avoids a senton and tries to escape, but Rowan maneuvers Cena onto Rowan's shoulders to force him back in. Cena hits Bray with a bulldog for two and tries to escape again. This time it's Harper who stops him. Cena pulls Harper in.
Cena climbs out as Wyatt makes for the door. Cena kicks the door into Wyatt's face, but Rowan grabs a chair and keeps Cena from hitting the floor. Wyatt hits a suplex into a toss, then a senton for two. Cena counters Sister Abigail into the STF. Wyatt crawls towards the door and uses the ropes to force Cena to break, so Cena pulls Wyatt back in. Cena avoids an interfering Harper, but Wyatt throws Cena into the cage. Wyatt tries to escape, but Cena grabs him, and hits an AA off the second turnbuckle. Wyatt is DONE, but Harper makes the save at two. Cena floors Harper with a big clothesline and climbs.
Rowan cuts Cena off, but Cena grabs his beard and rams his head into the cage, before hitting the flying famouser on Harper. Cena has it won, but then WYATT MAGIC summons a kid with a demonic singing voice, who distracts Cena long enough for Wyatt to recover, hit Sister Abigail, and leave the cage to win.
***1/2 Pretty sound psychology, with Cena being able to fight off all three Wyatts, which we've seen him do before, before falling victim to unforeseen tricks by Wyatt. I do think it's goofy that apparently Wyatt is supposed to be the "Man in Black" from LOST, and his escaping the cage is supposed to be akin to what would have happened if the MiB had escaped the Island.
-The Wyatts lead the kid by the hand to the back. I really hope he's one of their kids.
-The panel talk about what just happened.
-The announce team recap WeeLC.
-Match 6 for the Divas Championship: Paige [c] VS Tamina Snuka
-Paige beats Tamina down, and gets a slick schoolgirl for a one count. Paige gets a victory roll for one, followed by knees in the ropes. Paige goes up top, but Tamina slugs her down, and Paige crashes to the floor. Tamina works Paige over, then hits a big slam for two. She adds a couple more slams while trying to get the crowd to react (she fails) and a cover gets two. Paige fights back and they spill through the ropes. Paige goes for a rana off the apron, but Tamina blocks, and swings her into the barricade. That looked NASTY.
Tamina tries a superplex, but Paige counters into a sunset bomb for two (with the ref counting three). Paige hits a version of La Mistica for two, but then gets caught with a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Paige blocks a superkick, and finishes with the Scorpion Crosslock.
** They gave it the old college try, but getting stuck in the death spot never helps anyone's chances.
-The Wyatts celebrate Bray's win with Little Johnny. So THAT's who/what little Johnny is. The kid's distorted voice is goofy, but him putting on the lamb mask and staring into the camera is creepy enough.
-Match 7 for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Daniel Bryan [c] VS Kane [Extreme Rules Match]
-Bryan charges at Kane during Kane's entrance. It...does not go well. They get in the ring, and Bryan hits a super rana, followed by an IED and a cross-body that sends both of them to the outside. Kane scores with a big boot, and sends Bryan into the barricade. Kane hits a chair slam onto the barricade, but Bryan fights back with a kendo stick. Back in the ring, Kane counters a flying stick shot with an uppercut, then hits Bryan with a couple chairshots. Kane sets the chair up, then gives Bryan a sidewalk slam through it. Bryan avoids a chokeslam, then hits a drop toe hold that puts Kane's head into a chair that had been set up in the corner.
They go back outside, and Bryan takes apart both announce tables, stopping to hit Kane with whatever he can get his hands on. Kane manages to fire back and goes for a chokeslam off one table through another, but Bryan stops that, and hits a tornado DDT off the Spanish announce table. Bryan hits a couple kicks, but Kane simply grabs him by the head and sends him into the steps. Kane goes for a tombstone on the steps, but Bryan counters and sends Kane into the post.
Bryan grabs another kendo stick and wears Kane out. Kane puts a stop to that, and throws Bryan into the entrance set, shorting out a section of the lights. They go backstage to gorilla position, where Kane throws a flat screen TV at Bryan, who moves, causing the TV to go into a bucket of water and fuck with the electricity. They go further backstage and after Kane throws Bryan into one of the production trucks (Hey! There's Ezekial Jackson!), Bryan comes right back with a snow shovel. Bryan gets Kane onto the hood of a car and hits some mounted punches. Kane throws an air tank at Bryan but misses, shattering one car's windshield. Kane misses a punch and takes out a car window. Bryan gets a tire iron from that car and KO's Kane, before loading him onto a forklift and hitting more shots with the iron. Why can't he pin Kane back there?
Bryan drives the KO'd Kane back to the ring, then dumps him back inside before leading a "YES" chant and hitting a diving headbutt for two. Bryan goes for the running knee, but Kane counters into a chokeslam for two. Kane tries another chokeslam onto a chair, but Bryan counters into a DDT for two. Bryan chops Kane down with chairshots, then gets the Yes Lock. Kane tries using a kendo stick to break, but Bryan grabs it and uses it to help with the hold. Kane manages to slide out of the ring and break the hold. Bryan tries a suicide dive, but Kane catches him, and chokeslams him through the English announce table.
Kane pulls another table out from underneath the ring and sets it on fire, but Bryan throws him through it. Kane gets immediately doused with a fire extinguisher, and frantically runs into the ring, right into the running knee for the pin.
**1/2 This was OK, I guess. It struggled to keep my interest, even though I like the story that was told. I can see why they didn't give the flaming table spot more time to breathe, since the idea here seems to be that Kane is back to being an unstoppable monster, and that Bryan is good/fortunate enough to escape with the title.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: I liked this show for the most part. I LOVED Shield/Evolution, and liked Cena/Wyatt, although I can see why others won't. A better main event moves this show into "classic" territory, but it was not to be.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
RoH TV 5/3/14
-From New Orleans, LA
-Match 1: Roderick Strong (w/Adam Page) VS Tomasso Ciampa
-They do some chain wrestling to start, then Ciampa bites Strong's pinky. More chain wrestling follows, leading to a couple pin attempts and a standoff. Strong kicks the bad knee and hits a chop, but Ciampa comes back with a leg sweep into a pin into a submission. They exchange chops, then Ciampa bites Strong's ear. Ciampa goes for the running exposed knee, but Strong bails. Ciampa catches up to him, and wheelbarrows him into the barricade as we go to break.
Back from break, Ciampa wins a strike exchange with a back elbow for one, then gets a slingshot sunset flip into the same submission from earlier, but Strong escapes with a kick to the face. Strong hits some chops, but Ciampa pulls a Sting and fires back with some of his own. Strong hits a mule kick, but whiffs on a cross-body off the top. They exchange strikes again, then Ciampa hits some rolling German suplexes, followed by the running exposed knee for two. Ciampa counters a leapfrog with a Kryptonite Crunch for two. Strong comes back with an enziguiri followed by an Olympic Slam, and this crowd is oddly silent.
Strong hits a high knee in the corner and Death From Above for two. Ciampa fires back and goes for Project Ciampa, but Adam Page tries to interfere, and Ciampa stops to take him out. Strong hits a high knee and looks to finish, but Cedric Alexander runs in with a spin kick to Strong, and Ciampa finishes with the Project Ciampa.
-**1/2 The work was good enough, but there was no heat whatsoever once they got going.
-Strong calls out Alexander. Cedric hits a Cactus Clothesline, and Strong bails. Cedric challenges Strong to face him man-to-man at Global Wars without any interference.
-Michael Elgin (in a Daniel Bryan rip-off shirt), does a short promo about his IWGP title shot and facing Rocky Romero in tonight's main event.
-Match 2: Romantic Touch VS Silas Young
-I love the Romantic Touch gimmick, but it's too bad he's a jobber. They exchange rollups to start, then Young hits a chop. Young blocks a monkey flip, but gets caught with a Camel Clutch into a pin for two. RT hits a kick to the head, but stops to strut on the apron, allowing Young to counter a slingshot splash with a couple knees. RT fights out of a laying abdominal stretch, but he then runs right into a kitchen sink. RT gets a couple elbows, then counters the backbreaker/clothesline combo with a dropkick, and Young gets caught upside-down in the ropes. RT hits a huge lariat, and again I'm struck by how dead the crowd is. RT hits a monkey flip and a backdrop, then a back elbow for two.
Young crotches RT on the top rope, and hits a Finlay Roll followed by a headstand into an Arabian Press for the pin. That finisher so does not fit his gimmick.
** They tried out there, but the crowd is KILLING this show.
-A video previews Steen/Cole at Border Wars.
-reDRagon bitch about losing the tag titles to the Young Bucks. The graphic for "The Fish Tank" is tremendous.
-Match 3: Corey Hollis VS Jimmy Jacobs (w/Adam Page & Tadarius Thomas)
-I don't get TD joining The Decade at all. Jacobs gets the early jump, but Hollis fires back with an enziguiri to the face. They go outside, and Page helps Jacobs set Hollis into a chair, and Jacobs hits a sloppy dive. Jacobs gets some water from Page and spits it in Hollis' face, then adds a hangman's drop. TD sits down at the announce table to explain himself, but gets called away by Jacobs & Page. Hollis hits a rana followed by a gordbuster and a back elbow for two. Jacobs charges into an airplane spin, followed by a sloppy Implant DDT for two. Jacobs comes back with a springboard Diamond Cutter, and finishes with a spear.
*1/2 Another decent effort, sloppiness aside, but the crowd couldn't care less.
-Match 4: Rocky Romero VS Michael Elgin
-Nigel joins the announce team. Romero hits a slap, then low-bridges Elgin before hitting a knee off the apron. Elgin catches Romero on a cross-body attempt, but Romero gets away, counters a couple rollup attempts, and hits a buzzsaw kick. Romero gets a headscissors, then takes Elgin outside when Elgin powers out. Elgin finally manages to hit a slam for two, followed by some stomps. Elgin holds Romero for a delayed suplex, and gets two as we go to break.
Romero uses his quickness to avoid Elgin and get him outside, then hits a suicide dive. Romero catches Elgin getting back in with a knee, then hits a springboard dropkick for two. Romero hits some clotheslines in the corner, then they run around each other before Romero takes Elgin down and gets an anklelock. Elgin escapes, and hits a deadlift German suplex for two. Romero comes back and goes for a super rana. Elgin blocks initially, but Romero is able to complete the move and get two. The crowd finally wakes up for a moment with a "Let's Go Elgin" chant.
Romero does the RVD "miss an enziugiri then hit a back kick" spot. Elgin whiffs on a couple attempts at a lariat before finally connecting. Elgin hits a deadlift superplex for two followed by a buckle bomb, but Romero counters the spiral bomb into a rollup for two. Elgin blocks a sunset bomb, but Romero dropkicks his legs out from underneath him before getting a rollup into an anklelock. Elgin hangs on and hits a urinage, followed by a back-fist, buckle bomb, and spiral bomb for the pin.
*1/2 These guys did not mesh at all. The crowd being completely dead didn't help matters.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: The wrestling was OK for the most part, but that crowd just kills the whole show.
-
-Match 1: Roderick Strong (w/Adam Page) VS Tomasso Ciampa
-They do some chain wrestling to start, then Ciampa bites Strong's pinky. More chain wrestling follows, leading to a couple pin attempts and a standoff. Strong kicks the bad knee and hits a chop, but Ciampa comes back with a leg sweep into a pin into a submission. They exchange chops, then Ciampa bites Strong's ear. Ciampa goes for the running exposed knee, but Strong bails. Ciampa catches up to him, and wheelbarrows him into the barricade as we go to break.
Back from break, Ciampa wins a strike exchange with a back elbow for one, then gets a slingshot sunset flip into the same submission from earlier, but Strong escapes with a kick to the face. Strong hits some chops, but Ciampa pulls a Sting and fires back with some of his own. Strong hits a mule kick, but whiffs on a cross-body off the top. They exchange strikes again, then Ciampa hits some rolling German suplexes, followed by the running exposed knee for two. Ciampa counters a leapfrog with a Kryptonite Crunch for two. Strong comes back with an enziguiri followed by an Olympic Slam, and this crowd is oddly silent.
Strong hits a high knee in the corner and Death From Above for two. Ciampa fires back and goes for Project Ciampa, but Adam Page tries to interfere, and Ciampa stops to take him out. Strong hits a high knee and looks to finish, but Cedric Alexander runs in with a spin kick to Strong, and Ciampa finishes with the Project Ciampa.
-**1/2 The work was good enough, but there was no heat whatsoever once they got going.
-Strong calls out Alexander. Cedric hits a Cactus Clothesline, and Strong bails. Cedric challenges Strong to face him man-to-man at Global Wars without any interference.
-Michael Elgin (in a Daniel Bryan rip-off shirt), does a short promo about his IWGP title shot and facing Rocky Romero in tonight's main event.
-Match 2: Romantic Touch VS Silas Young
-I love the Romantic Touch gimmick, but it's too bad he's a jobber. They exchange rollups to start, then Young hits a chop. Young blocks a monkey flip, but gets caught with a Camel Clutch into a pin for two. RT hits a kick to the head, but stops to strut on the apron, allowing Young to counter a slingshot splash with a couple knees. RT fights out of a laying abdominal stretch, but he then runs right into a kitchen sink. RT gets a couple elbows, then counters the backbreaker/clothesline combo with a dropkick, and Young gets caught upside-down in the ropes. RT hits a huge lariat, and again I'm struck by how dead the crowd is. RT hits a monkey flip and a backdrop, then a back elbow for two.
Young crotches RT on the top rope, and hits a Finlay Roll followed by a headstand into an Arabian Press for the pin. That finisher so does not fit his gimmick.
** They tried out there, but the crowd is KILLING this show.
-A video previews Steen/Cole at Border Wars.
-reDRagon bitch about losing the tag titles to the Young Bucks. The graphic for "The Fish Tank" is tremendous.
-Match 3: Corey Hollis VS Jimmy Jacobs (w/Adam Page & Tadarius Thomas)
-I don't get TD joining The Decade at all. Jacobs gets the early jump, but Hollis fires back with an enziguiri to the face. They go outside, and Page helps Jacobs set Hollis into a chair, and Jacobs hits a sloppy dive. Jacobs gets some water from Page and spits it in Hollis' face, then adds a hangman's drop. TD sits down at the announce table to explain himself, but gets called away by Jacobs & Page. Hollis hits a rana followed by a gordbuster and a back elbow for two. Jacobs charges into an airplane spin, followed by a sloppy Implant DDT for two. Jacobs comes back with a springboard Diamond Cutter, and finishes with a spear.
*1/2 Another decent effort, sloppiness aside, but the crowd couldn't care less.
-Match 4: Rocky Romero VS Michael Elgin
-Nigel joins the announce team. Romero hits a slap, then low-bridges Elgin before hitting a knee off the apron. Elgin catches Romero on a cross-body attempt, but Romero gets away, counters a couple rollup attempts, and hits a buzzsaw kick. Romero gets a headscissors, then takes Elgin outside when Elgin powers out. Elgin finally manages to hit a slam for two, followed by some stomps. Elgin holds Romero for a delayed suplex, and gets two as we go to break.
Romero uses his quickness to avoid Elgin and get him outside, then hits a suicide dive. Romero catches Elgin getting back in with a knee, then hits a springboard dropkick for two. Romero hits some clotheslines in the corner, then they run around each other before Romero takes Elgin down and gets an anklelock. Elgin escapes, and hits a deadlift German suplex for two. Romero comes back and goes for a super rana. Elgin blocks initially, but Romero is able to complete the move and get two. The crowd finally wakes up for a moment with a "Let's Go Elgin" chant.
Romero does the RVD "miss an enziugiri then hit a back kick" spot. Elgin whiffs on a couple attempts at a lariat before finally connecting. Elgin hits a deadlift superplex for two followed by a buckle bomb, but Romero counters the spiral bomb into a rollup for two. Elgin blocks a sunset bomb, but Romero dropkicks his legs out from underneath him before getting a rollup into an anklelock. Elgin hangs on and hits a urinage, followed by a back-fist, buckle bomb, and spiral bomb for the pin.
*1/2 These guys did not mesh at all. The crowd being completely dead didn't help matters.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: The wrestling was OK for the most part, but that crowd just kills the whole show.
-
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Smackdown 5/2/14
-Opening video recaps the Shield/Evolution feud.
-From Kansas City, MO
-TONIGHT: Dean Ambrose defends the U.S. title against ADR & Rybaxel in a Fatal 4 Way.
-Match 1: The Wyatt Family VS WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos & Sheamus
-Harper & Jey start, with Jey getting a schoolboy followed by a mule kick and an uppercut followed by a shoulderblock for two. Tag to Sheamus, who wins a slugfest, but gets backed into the Family corner, and Rowan tags in. Rowan works Sheamus over for a little bit, then it's back to Harper. Sheamus scores with a Finlay Roll and a kneedrop for two, but Harper fires back with an uppercut before tagging in Rowan. Sheamus catches Rowan with a high knee, then a cross-body to send both guys out over the top after Rowan blocks the running knee. It's a standoff on the floor as we go to break.
Back from break, Sheamus gets caught in the Family corner and triple teamed. Bray gets in and hits a big avalanche, then taunts the Usos before cutting off a tag. Rowan gets in and hits a kneedrop followed by a slam. Sheamus plays FIP for a little longer, before managing to hit Harper with the Irish Curse and tag Jimmy. Jimmy hits Harper with a Samoan Drop, a couple thrust kicks to the gut, and an enziguiri. Jimmy takes out Rowan, then hits the ATM on Harper. Jimmy keeps Bray from interfering, but then misses a Whisper in the Wind, and Harper hits a Michinoku Driver for two. The match breaks down, and Bray makes a blind tag, catching Jimmy with Sister Abigail for the pin.
*** Good work with a pretty hot finishing run.
-Jey stupidly hits a dive on Harper & Rowan, leading to Bray taking him out. Sheamus tries to help out, but gets triple-teamed for his altruism. Harper goes back in the ring and drops Jimmy with a spinning clothesline. Well that beatdown's on Jey, as the Family were leaving before he hit that dive.
-Contract signing for the "WeeLC" is next.
-Adam Rose is still debuting on Raw.
-Hornswoggle has ridiculous demands before he signs. Torito has some words, and Vickie just wants to keep this...short. Torito signs it with his "hoof". They have a face-off then a fight, and Los Matadores clean house before Torito adds a dive.
-RVD/Swagger is next. Oh joy.
-Match 2: RVD VS Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter)
-Cesaro & Heyman come out for Heyman to join the announce team. The distraction allows Swagger to get the early jump. RVD kicks Swagger out of the ring, so Swagger cheap shots Cesaro. Swagger avoids an RVD moonsault off the apron and floors him with a big boot. Back in, RVD catches Swagger with a heel kick, and finishes with the Five Star Frog Splash.
-* At least it was short. Don't know how this is supposed to make me want to see the triple threat at the PPV though.
-Cesaro jumps RVD and lays him out with the Neutralizer.
-Daniel Bryan is up later to talk about Kane going after Brie.
-BOLIEVE
-Match 3: R-Truth (w/Xavier Woods) VS Alexander Rusev (w/Lana)
-Rusev mauls R-Truth to start. Truth splits underneath a clothesline, and hits a couple heel kicks to knock Rusev outside. Rusev drops Woods for talking shit. Truth tries a dive, but gets caught and driven back-first into the apron. They go back in, and Woods jumps in to draw the DQ.
-NO RATING Just here to set up the handicap squash at the PPV.
-Woods & Truth manage to take Rusev down, and Lana calls him back. How are Truth & Woods the babyfaces here?
-Daniel Bryan is out to his customary huge ovation and chants. Bryan doesn't care what Kane has done to him, because Kane put his hands on Brie. Bryan promises to send Kane back to hell, even if Bryan has to go with him. Kane responds, promising to give Bryan a tour of hell, then cuing up his own video package. Kane says the worst is yet to come, before finishing the segment with a Dr. Evil laugh.
-Match 4: Dolph Ziggler VS Damien Sandow
-Sandow still has his Magneto costume, and new music. JBL supposedly being the comic book expert is only the second most out-of-character thing about this segment. Cole, after saying JBL is a "comic book expert" says moments later "I didn't know you loved comic books". Sandow hits a flipping neckbreaker for two and pounds away in the corner, but takes his time and falls victim to a small package for two. Sandow comes right back with a big lariat for two, and follows up with a hammerlock. Sandow hits a Russian Leg Sweep and the not-People's Elbow. Sandow tries using his powers, and Ziggler has no idea WTF Sandow is doing. Dolph hits a dropkick, followed by the Zig Zag for the pin. JBL goes off on a pretty great rant about how a superhero who is wearing a cape is automatically given a standing eight count after taking a move and cannot be pinned.
**1/2 This was alright, and Sandow is doing the best he can to make this silly gimmick work.
-Match 5: Intercontinental Champion Big E VS Titus O'Neil
-Big E immediately gets a takedown, then drops Titus with a shoulderblock. Titus slides out of the Big Ending, then they botch a clothesline to the outside. Once they get out there, Titus throws Big E over the announce table, and works him over. Back in, Titus hits a couple mounted punches followed by a stomp and some trash talk. Titus hits an overhead backbreaker drop, then gets DQ'd for not stopping his attack when Big E gets to the ropes.
*1/4 The work was decent, but I'm not sure what that finish is supposed to do for either guy.
-After Titus turns his back, Big E jumps him. Tripping over the cable cord and landing face-first on the floor couldn't have felt good for Titus. Big E disappoints the fans by not putting Titus through the announce table, opting to roll Titus back in the ring and stand tall there.
-A video recaps the Cena/Wyatt feud.
-Bray says that when he wins at Extreme Rules, he will take more of Cena's fans, and Cena will be left with nothing.
-Match 6 for the United States Championship: Dean Ambrose [c] VS Alberto Del Rio VS Curtis Axel VS Ryback
-The heels naturally all gang up on Ambrose and beat him down. That gets cut short when Axel gets a schoolboy on ADR for one, then ADR does the same to Ryback. Rybaxel argue amongst each other, then Ambrose takes the opportunity to get back in it. He promptly takes a spinebuster from Ryback, who tosses him outside. Rybaxel stare ADR down as we go to break.
Back from break, ADR fights off a Rybaxel double team, and hits a backstabber on Ryback, forcing Ambrose to make the save. Axel knees ADR in the face for two, as Ambrose makes another save. Rybaxel take Ambrose outside and send him into the barricade. but ADR kicks Ryback in the face. Axel catches ADR with a dropkick for two, but he then runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. ADR catches Ryback with a German suplex (I'm really surprised to see that move come back) for two. Ambrose fires up on ADR, then slaps the taste out of Ryback's mouth. Ambrose takes ADR out, then fights off a PerfectPlex from Axel before hitting a Rebound Lariat for two.
Ryback pulls Ambrose outside and sends him into the timekeeper's area. ADR catches Ryback with a running enziguiri, but then falls victim to a PerfectPlex for two. ADR gets Axel caught up in the ropes, and hits Low Ki's Warrior's Way double stomp to the chest for two. Axel ducks a low superkick, but ADR ducks a Meathook Clothesline, which causes Ryback to floor Axel. ADR gets Ryback in the cross-armbreaker, but Ryback powers that into Shellshocked in a neat spot. Axel pulls Ryback off the cover and crawls towards ADR, but gets caught with an Oklahoma Roll by Ambrose for the pin.
***1/2 Pretty much all action bell-to-bell with a good amount of heat and a slick finish. Can't ask for more than that.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: The opener and the main event are good enough to carry things this week. A lot better than some of the PPV go-home shows in the past have been.
-From Kansas City, MO
-TONIGHT: Dean Ambrose defends the U.S. title against ADR & Rybaxel in a Fatal 4 Way.
-Match 1: The Wyatt Family VS WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos & Sheamus
-Harper & Jey start, with Jey getting a schoolboy followed by a mule kick and an uppercut followed by a shoulderblock for two. Tag to Sheamus, who wins a slugfest, but gets backed into the Family corner, and Rowan tags in. Rowan works Sheamus over for a little bit, then it's back to Harper. Sheamus scores with a Finlay Roll and a kneedrop for two, but Harper fires back with an uppercut before tagging in Rowan. Sheamus catches Rowan with a high knee, then a cross-body to send both guys out over the top after Rowan blocks the running knee. It's a standoff on the floor as we go to break.
Back from break, Sheamus gets caught in the Family corner and triple teamed. Bray gets in and hits a big avalanche, then taunts the Usos before cutting off a tag. Rowan gets in and hits a kneedrop followed by a slam. Sheamus plays FIP for a little longer, before managing to hit Harper with the Irish Curse and tag Jimmy. Jimmy hits Harper with a Samoan Drop, a couple thrust kicks to the gut, and an enziguiri. Jimmy takes out Rowan, then hits the ATM on Harper. Jimmy keeps Bray from interfering, but then misses a Whisper in the Wind, and Harper hits a Michinoku Driver for two. The match breaks down, and Bray makes a blind tag, catching Jimmy with Sister Abigail for the pin.
*** Good work with a pretty hot finishing run.
-Jey stupidly hits a dive on Harper & Rowan, leading to Bray taking him out. Sheamus tries to help out, but gets triple-teamed for his altruism. Harper goes back in the ring and drops Jimmy with a spinning clothesline. Well that beatdown's on Jey, as the Family were leaving before he hit that dive.
-Contract signing for the "WeeLC" is next.
-Adam Rose is still debuting on Raw.
-Hornswoggle has ridiculous demands before he signs. Torito has some words, and Vickie just wants to keep this...short. Torito signs it with his "hoof". They have a face-off then a fight, and Los Matadores clean house before Torito adds a dive.
-RVD/Swagger is next. Oh joy.
-Match 2: RVD VS Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter)
-Cesaro & Heyman come out for Heyman to join the announce team. The distraction allows Swagger to get the early jump. RVD kicks Swagger out of the ring, so Swagger cheap shots Cesaro. Swagger avoids an RVD moonsault off the apron and floors him with a big boot. Back in, RVD catches Swagger with a heel kick, and finishes with the Five Star Frog Splash.
-* At least it was short. Don't know how this is supposed to make me want to see the triple threat at the PPV though.
-Cesaro jumps RVD and lays him out with the Neutralizer.
-Daniel Bryan is up later to talk about Kane going after Brie.
-BOLIEVE
-Match 3: R-Truth (w/Xavier Woods) VS Alexander Rusev (w/Lana)
-Rusev mauls R-Truth to start. Truth splits underneath a clothesline, and hits a couple heel kicks to knock Rusev outside. Rusev drops Woods for talking shit. Truth tries a dive, but gets caught and driven back-first into the apron. They go back in, and Woods jumps in to draw the DQ.
-NO RATING Just here to set up the handicap squash at the PPV.
-Woods & Truth manage to take Rusev down, and Lana calls him back. How are Truth & Woods the babyfaces here?
-Daniel Bryan is out to his customary huge ovation and chants. Bryan doesn't care what Kane has done to him, because Kane put his hands on Brie. Bryan promises to send Kane back to hell, even if Bryan has to go with him. Kane responds, promising to give Bryan a tour of hell, then cuing up his own video package. Kane says the worst is yet to come, before finishing the segment with a Dr. Evil laugh.
-Match 4: Dolph Ziggler VS Damien Sandow
-Sandow still has his Magneto costume, and new music. JBL supposedly being the comic book expert is only the second most out-of-character thing about this segment. Cole, after saying JBL is a "comic book expert" says moments later "I didn't know you loved comic books". Sandow hits a flipping neckbreaker for two and pounds away in the corner, but takes his time and falls victim to a small package for two. Sandow comes right back with a big lariat for two, and follows up with a hammerlock. Sandow hits a Russian Leg Sweep and the not-People's Elbow. Sandow tries using his powers, and Ziggler has no idea WTF Sandow is doing. Dolph hits a dropkick, followed by the Zig Zag for the pin. JBL goes off on a pretty great rant about how a superhero who is wearing a cape is automatically given a standing eight count after taking a move and cannot be pinned.
**1/2 This was alright, and Sandow is doing the best he can to make this silly gimmick work.
-Match 5: Intercontinental Champion Big E VS Titus O'Neil
-Big E immediately gets a takedown, then drops Titus with a shoulderblock. Titus slides out of the Big Ending, then they botch a clothesline to the outside. Once they get out there, Titus throws Big E over the announce table, and works him over. Back in, Titus hits a couple mounted punches followed by a stomp and some trash talk. Titus hits an overhead backbreaker drop, then gets DQ'd for not stopping his attack when Big E gets to the ropes.
*1/4 The work was decent, but I'm not sure what that finish is supposed to do for either guy.
-After Titus turns his back, Big E jumps him. Tripping over the cable cord and landing face-first on the floor couldn't have felt good for Titus. Big E disappoints the fans by not putting Titus through the announce table, opting to roll Titus back in the ring and stand tall there.
-A video recaps the Cena/Wyatt feud.
-Bray says that when he wins at Extreme Rules, he will take more of Cena's fans, and Cena will be left with nothing.
-Match 6 for the United States Championship: Dean Ambrose [c] VS Alberto Del Rio VS Curtis Axel VS Ryback
-The heels naturally all gang up on Ambrose and beat him down. That gets cut short when Axel gets a schoolboy on ADR for one, then ADR does the same to Ryback. Rybaxel argue amongst each other, then Ambrose takes the opportunity to get back in it. He promptly takes a spinebuster from Ryback, who tosses him outside. Rybaxel stare ADR down as we go to break.
Back from break, ADR fights off a Rybaxel double team, and hits a backstabber on Ryback, forcing Ambrose to make the save. Axel knees ADR in the face for two, as Ambrose makes another save. Rybaxel take Ambrose outside and send him into the barricade. but ADR kicks Ryback in the face. Axel catches ADR with a dropkick for two, but he then runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. ADR catches Ryback with a German suplex (I'm really surprised to see that move come back) for two. Ambrose fires up on ADR, then slaps the taste out of Ryback's mouth. Ambrose takes ADR out, then fights off a PerfectPlex from Axel before hitting a Rebound Lariat for two.
Ryback pulls Ambrose outside and sends him into the timekeeper's area. ADR catches Ryback with a running enziguiri, but then falls victim to a PerfectPlex for two. ADR gets Axel caught up in the ropes, and hits Low Ki's Warrior's Way double stomp to the chest for two. Axel ducks a low superkick, but ADR ducks a Meathook Clothesline, which causes Ryback to floor Axel. ADR gets Ryback in the cross-armbreaker, but Ryback powers that into Shellshocked in a neat spot. Axel pulls Ryback off the cover and crawls towards ADR, but gets caught with an Oklahoma Roll by Ambrose for the pin.
***1/2 Pretty much all action bell-to-bell with a good amount of heat and a slick finish. Can't ask for more than that.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: The opener and the main event are good enough to carry things this week. A lot better than some of the PPV go-home shows in the past have been.
NXT 5/1/14
-HHH opens the show, talking about how the future of WWE comes through NXT, and announces the upcoming special NXT: Takeover.
-Hosts are William Regal, Byron Saxton, & Tom Phillips.
-Match 1: Tyson Kidd VS Bo Dallas
-Bo's new entrance is AMAZING. Bo knocks Kidd over with a shoulderblock, then celebrates before giving Kidd a thumbs up. Kidd comes back with an elbow, followed by a stiff kick to the back. Kidd beats Bo down in the corner, then mocks him. Bo rolls outside to avoid a top rope move, then sweeps Kidd's leg out from underneath him, causing Kidd to crash onto the apron. Bo gets a couple near-falls, and works Kidd over as the crowd sings "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands". We get it guys, you know Bo & Bray are brothers. Good for you. There's a dueling chant as Kidd fights out of a headlock, and Bo avoids a dropkick before dropping a couple knees for two. Bo locks on a cravat, but Kidd fights out, and hits a modified rana to send Bo face-first into the buckles.
Kidd hits a kick combination, followed by a low dropkick for two. Bo gets a belly-to-belly out of nowhere for two, then follows up with a rope walk bulldog for two. Kidd avoids getting crotched on the top, hits an enziguiri, and finishes with the Blockbuster.
**1/2 Pretty decent action, best straight match I've seen from Bo so far. A little weak to see a former dominant champion go down so quickly, but Kidd is finally getting a big push, even if it is on NXT.
-Bo isn't happy about the loss, and the crowd sings the "Goodbye Song" at him.
-Comacho says he's no party pooper, and that his parties make Rose's look like Bingo Night at the local Elks Lodge. Rose and his entourage interrupt to party. Comacho is not amused.
-The brackets for the NXT Women's title tournament are shown.
-The NXT Women's title means more to Bayley than hugs and/or high fives. Sasha Banks is ready to take over.
-Match 2-NXT Women's Championship Tournament First Round: Bayley VS Sasha Banks (w/Charlotte)
-Sasha gets the early jump as the crew talk about Sasha being a favorite despite not having won a match since the launch of the Network. Bayley gets a backslide for two, then a springboard into an armdrag. Bayley follows up with a bearhug bash into the buckles before punching Sasha in the back several times. Bayley hits a suplex for two, and a backdrop moments later. Bayley gets a couple Polish Hammers, a flyimg clothesline and the belly-to-Bayley, but Banks rolls to the apron to avoid being pinned. Banks comes back with Bankrupt (Damien Sandow's original finisher) for two, then fights off another belly-to-Bayley attempt before hitting a backstabber into a crossface for the submission.
-*** Pretty strong stuff, and a really slick finish.
-A video profiles Brodus Clay and his path of rage through NXT.
-Adam Rose is next.
-Match 3: Adam Rose VS Danny Burch
-Rose prances around before getting bashed in the buckles, which pisses him off. Rose takes over, gives the crowd THE CLAP, and finishes with a cravat driver called the Party Foul. Much better finisher than his lat one.
-SQUASH Hopefully they figure everything out with Rose's in-ring work before Monday.
-Comacho takes out the guy in Rose's entourage who's dressed like a luchadore.
-Brodus Clay wants to take everything from Adrian Neville.
-Natalya gives a pretty bland pre-match promo. In her defense, it's hard to sell a clear step down as something good. Layla does the same, then looks awkwardly at the camera before the director calls "cut".
-Match 4-NXT Women's Championship Tournament First Round: Natalya VS Layla
-Winner gets Sasha Banks. Layla dominates early and gets a surfboard, but Natalya escapes, and hits a suplex, followed by a discus clothesline. Layla blocks one Sharpshooter attempt, but a second one finishes shortly afterwards.
-* I think it says something that the NXT women are given much more time than the main roster divas.
-Adrian Neville has his teeth back, and says he'll win by pinfall this time, rather than count-out.
-Match 5: Oliver Grey VS Mojo Rawley
-Oliver slugs Rawley down, already doing better than he did against Comacho. The crew talk about Grey as if he's turned heel off-screen. Rawley finishes with the Hyperdrive in about a minute, and that's it for Grey.
-SQUASH It's all Rawley's capable of at this point. Poor Grey.
-Aiden English is done suffering fools and goes after Rawley, who turns things around and clotheslines English out over the top, then English backs off.
-Match 6 for the NXT Championship: Adrian Neville [c] VS Brodus Clay [No DQ]
-Clay charges before the bell, and Neville low-bridges him to counter. Neville lands a series of kicks as the match officially starts, including a low superkick. Neville looks to finish, but Clay rolls out of the way. Neville hits a dropkick in the corner, but gets caught flying off the top and shoved into the corner. Clay gets Neville in the Tree of Woe, and hits a running knee followed by a throw. Clay drops an elbow for one, then literally shakes as he climbs the ropes for a sitdown splash, which gets two. Clay gets an overhead backbreaker, but Neville goes to the eyes to escape, followed by a chop block and a couple low kicks.
Clay comes back with a headbutt and a powerbomb, followed by a second rope splash for two. Clay gets mad and grabs the title belt, Neville superkicks the belt back into Clay's face, then finishes with the Red Arrow to retain.
*1/4 I wasn't impressed with this one. Their fist match was a lot better than that.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: OK enough show, thanks to the first two matches. It was mostly build towards Takeover, and I'm surprised they didn't save Neville/Clay for then. I do wonder who is next in line.
-Hosts are William Regal, Byron Saxton, & Tom Phillips.
-Match 1: Tyson Kidd VS Bo Dallas
-Bo's new entrance is AMAZING. Bo knocks Kidd over with a shoulderblock, then celebrates before giving Kidd a thumbs up. Kidd comes back with an elbow, followed by a stiff kick to the back. Kidd beats Bo down in the corner, then mocks him. Bo rolls outside to avoid a top rope move, then sweeps Kidd's leg out from underneath him, causing Kidd to crash onto the apron. Bo gets a couple near-falls, and works Kidd over as the crowd sings "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands". We get it guys, you know Bo & Bray are brothers. Good for you. There's a dueling chant as Kidd fights out of a headlock, and Bo avoids a dropkick before dropping a couple knees for two. Bo locks on a cravat, but Kidd fights out, and hits a modified rana to send Bo face-first into the buckles.
Kidd hits a kick combination, followed by a low dropkick for two. Bo gets a belly-to-belly out of nowhere for two, then follows up with a rope walk bulldog for two. Kidd avoids getting crotched on the top, hits an enziguiri, and finishes with the Blockbuster.
**1/2 Pretty decent action, best straight match I've seen from Bo so far. A little weak to see a former dominant champion go down so quickly, but Kidd is finally getting a big push, even if it is on NXT.
-Bo isn't happy about the loss, and the crowd sings the "Goodbye Song" at him.
-Comacho says he's no party pooper, and that his parties make Rose's look like Bingo Night at the local Elks Lodge. Rose and his entourage interrupt to party. Comacho is not amused.
-The brackets for the NXT Women's title tournament are shown.
-The NXT Women's title means more to Bayley than hugs and/or high fives. Sasha Banks is ready to take over.
-Match 2-NXT Women's Championship Tournament First Round: Bayley VS Sasha Banks (w/Charlotte)
-Sasha gets the early jump as the crew talk about Sasha being a favorite despite not having won a match since the launch of the Network. Bayley gets a backslide for two, then a springboard into an armdrag. Bayley follows up with a bearhug bash into the buckles before punching Sasha in the back several times. Bayley hits a suplex for two, and a backdrop moments later. Bayley gets a couple Polish Hammers, a flyimg clothesline and the belly-to-Bayley, but Banks rolls to the apron to avoid being pinned. Banks comes back with Bankrupt (Damien Sandow's original finisher) for two, then fights off another belly-to-Bayley attempt before hitting a backstabber into a crossface for the submission.
-*** Pretty strong stuff, and a really slick finish.
-A video profiles Brodus Clay and his path of rage through NXT.
-Adam Rose is next.
-Match 3: Adam Rose VS Danny Burch
-Rose prances around before getting bashed in the buckles, which pisses him off. Rose takes over, gives the crowd THE CLAP, and finishes with a cravat driver called the Party Foul. Much better finisher than his lat one.
-SQUASH Hopefully they figure everything out with Rose's in-ring work before Monday.
-Comacho takes out the guy in Rose's entourage who's dressed like a luchadore.
-Brodus Clay wants to take everything from Adrian Neville.
-Natalya gives a pretty bland pre-match promo. In her defense, it's hard to sell a clear step down as something good. Layla does the same, then looks awkwardly at the camera before the director calls "cut".
-Match 4-NXT Women's Championship Tournament First Round: Natalya VS Layla
-Winner gets Sasha Banks. Layla dominates early and gets a surfboard, but Natalya escapes, and hits a suplex, followed by a discus clothesline. Layla blocks one Sharpshooter attempt, but a second one finishes shortly afterwards.
-* I think it says something that the NXT women are given much more time than the main roster divas.
-Adrian Neville has his teeth back, and says he'll win by pinfall this time, rather than count-out.
-Match 5: Oliver Grey VS Mojo Rawley
-Oliver slugs Rawley down, already doing better than he did against Comacho. The crew talk about Grey as if he's turned heel off-screen. Rawley finishes with the Hyperdrive in about a minute, and that's it for Grey.
-SQUASH It's all Rawley's capable of at this point. Poor Grey.
-Aiden English is done suffering fools and goes after Rawley, who turns things around and clotheslines English out over the top, then English backs off.
-Match 6 for the NXT Championship: Adrian Neville [c] VS Brodus Clay [No DQ]
-Clay charges before the bell, and Neville low-bridges him to counter. Neville lands a series of kicks as the match officially starts, including a low superkick. Neville looks to finish, but Clay rolls out of the way. Neville hits a dropkick in the corner, but gets caught flying off the top and shoved into the corner. Clay gets Neville in the Tree of Woe, and hits a running knee followed by a throw. Clay drops an elbow for one, then literally shakes as he climbs the ropes for a sitdown splash, which gets two. Clay gets an overhead backbreaker, but Neville goes to the eyes to escape, followed by a chop block and a couple low kicks.
Clay comes back with a headbutt and a powerbomb, followed by a second rope splash for two. Clay gets mad and grabs the title belt, Neville superkicks the belt back into Clay's face, then finishes with the Red Arrow to retain.
*1/4 I wasn't impressed with this one. Their fist match was a lot better than that.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: OK enough show, thanks to the first two matches. It was mostly build towards Takeover, and I'm surprised they didn't save Neville/Clay for then. I do wonder who is next in line.
Friday, May 2, 2014
Main Event 4/29/14
-From Kansas City, MO
-Match 1: Goldust VS Alberto Del Rio
-Don't think is going to go well for Goldy. Goldust avoids a charge right off the bat as the crowd chants his name (thus giving this more heat than ADR/Cody), but ADR hits a backstabber for two anyway. ADR gets a chinlock, Goldust gets out, but takes a running enziguiri for two. Goldust blocks the low superkick, and hits the Final Cut...for the pin? Did NOT see that coming.
** Short and to the point. Goldust is so much more over than Cody it's amazing.
-Rene Young asks Goldust if this is the start of the brothers going their separate ways. He says that while they may sometimes compete as singles, they are still a team. Rene asks Cody if he's proud of Goldust for his win, which Cody takes as her saying Goldust is better than him. Goldust seemingly convinces him that it's not what she meant, and Cody claims that he's not himself these days, but The Brotherhood are still together. The Bros hug it out, and if this were Raw or Smackdown, I would have been more surprised that Cody didn't turn here. It's coming though.
-LATER TONIGHT: Sheamus VS Bray Wyatt
-ON SMACKDOWN: The U.S. title match is now a Fatal 4 Way instead of a 3-on-1 handicap match. Rollins & Reigns are now banned from ringside though.
-Match 2: Divas Champion Paige VS Alicia Fox
-This should be decent, if their first match is any indication. They lock up, and end up tumbling outside through the ropes. Paige hops on the apron, and after taking a punch to the stomach, kicks Fox in the head, before hitting a rana on the floor. Fox tries to crawl away from Paige, who yanks her by the hair. Fox comes back with a chinlock, but Paige fights out and hits a couple back elbows in the corner. Fox catches Paige with a big kick for two, but ends up taking a roundhouse kick to the face after Paige rolls through a rollup attempt. Paige gets Fox caught in the ropes and delivers a few knees, but she then gets caught in a rollup for two. They fight over a suplex, then Paige hits Konnan's old 187 DDT for the pin, giving her three finishers now.
*1/2 Not as good as their first go 'round. I am glad that Paige isn't eating offense for ths first half of all her matches anymore.
-As Paige leaves, Tamina walks out onto the stage for an awkward staredown.
-ON RAW: Bray leads a children's choir in a serenade to John Cena.
-The Decadent Express finally stops at Raw on Monday.
-Match 3: Kofi Kingston VS Bad News Barrett
-Barrett now has pyro for his entrance. I'm honestly surprised Kofi wasn't his first opponent for his comeback. BNB has so bad news: Big E is boring, and he won't look so big after Barrett knocks him out and wins the IC title. Barrett hits a mule kick to the gut, but after a failed attempt to start a "Bad News" chant, Kofi counters a slingshot belly-to-back suplex, hits a couple kicks, and follows with a cross-body for two. Barrett comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two, and calls for the Bull Hammer. Kofi manages to get a schoolboy for two, then Barrett gets in too close, and ends up taking an awkward dropkick. They go outside, and after Kofi avoids a whip into the steps, Kofi haphazardly throws himself at Barrett, who counters with the Bull Hammer for the pin.
* They've had better matches.
-A video recaps the build for Bryan/Kane.
-Match 4: Bray Wyatt (w/Luke Harper & Erik Rowan) VS Sheamus
-Sheamus backs Wyatt into a corner, but Wyatt gets out, and slaps on a headlock. Sheamus escapes, but gets run over with a shoulderblock, and Wyatt takes a bow. Sheamus gets a headlock, then does the same to Wyatt when Wyatt breaks out. Sheamus scores with a back elbow, then a kneedrop off the second rope for one. Wyatt rolls outside, then Rowan & Harper step in from of him as Sheamus goes to follow up, then we go to break.
Back from break, Sheamus rolls Wyatt onto the apron, where they slug it out before Wyatt hits a DDT for two. Wyatt sends Sheamus into the buckles, then adds a kick to the chest for two. Sheamus fights out of a head-and-arm lock, but Wyatt cuts him off with a headbutt and a slam. Wyatt tries a senton, but Sheamus gets his knees up. Sheamus makes a comeback with a couple Irish Hammers, a kneelift, and a running knee in the corner. Wyatt, however, counters a tilt-a-whirl slam and hits a urinage for two. Sheamus comes right back with White Noise for two, followed by the Irish Hand Grenade and a slingshot shoulderblock for two.
Wyatt throws himself at Sheamus, hitting him in the chest, and that gets two. Wyatt ducks the Brogue Kick, but falls victim to the Irish Curse for two. Sheamus mocks Wyatt before calling for the Brogue Kick. Rowan provides a momentary distraction, but then Wyatt charges right into a powerslam for two. The crowd is getting seriously into this, chanting "This is Awesome". Sheamus stops to go after Harper & Rowan, allowing Wyatt to hit Sister Abigail for the pin. Surprised Wyatt needed help here, considering the directions these two are headed in, and the clean jobs Sheamus has done recently.
***1/4 Good, hard-fought match that slowly got the crowd more and more into it. Would have been higher had Sheamus has a higher-than-zero chance of winning.
-Heel beatdown follows until the Usos make the save. A staredown closes the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: The main event carries things this week. They could have dropped one of the middle matches and given Goldust/ADR more time, and this would have been a better show.
-Match 1: Goldust VS Alberto Del Rio
-Don't think is going to go well for Goldy. Goldust avoids a charge right off the bat as the crowd chants his name (thus giving this more heat than ADR/Cody), but ADR hits a backstabber for two anyway. ADR gets a chinlock, Goldust gets out, but takes a running enziguiri for two. Goldust blocks the low superkick, and hits the Final Cut...for the pin? Did NOT see that coming.
** Short and to the point. Goldust is so much more over than Cody it's amazing.
-Rene Young asks Goldust if this is the start of the brothers going their separate ways. He says that while they may sometimes compete as singles, they are still a team. Rene asks Cody if he's proud of Goldust for his win, which Cody takes as her saying Goldust is better than him. Goldust seemingly convinces him that it's not what she meant, and Cody claims that he's not himself these days, but The Brotherhood are still together. The Bros hug it out, and if this were Raw or Smackdown, I would have been more surprised that Cody didn't turn here. It's coming though.
-LATER TONIGHT: Sheamus VS Bray Wyatt
-ON SMACKDOWN: The U.S. title match is now a Fatal 4 Way instead of a 3-on-1 handicap match. Rollins & Reigns are now banned from ringside though.
-Match 2: Divas Champion Paige VS Alicia Fox
-This should be decent, if their first match is any indication. They lock up, and end up tumbling outside through the ropes. Paige hops on the apron, and after taking a punch to the stomach, kicks Fox in the head, before hitting a rana on the floor. Fox tries to crawl away from Paige, who yanks her by the hair. Fox comes back with a chinlock, but Paige fights out and hits a couple back elbows in the corner. Fox catches Paige with a big kick for two, but ends up taking a roundhouse kick to the face after Paige rolls through a rollup attempt. Paige gets Fox caught in the ropes and delivers a few knees, but she then gets caught in a rollup for two. They fight over a suplex, then Paige hits Konnan's old 187 DDT for the pin, giving her three finishers now.
*1/2 Not as good as their first go 'round. I am glad that Paige isn't eating offense for ths first half of all her matches anymore.
-As Paige leaves, Tamina walks out onto the stage for an awkward staredown.
-ON RAW: Bray leads a children's choir in a serenade to John Cena.
-The Decadent Express finally stops at Raw on Monday.
-Match 3: Kofi Kingston VS Bad News Barrett
-Barrett now has pyro for his entrance. I'm honestly surprised Kofi wasn't his first opponent for his comeback. BNB has so bad news: Big E is boring, and he won't look so big after Barrett knocks him out and wins the IC title. Barrett hits a mule kick to the gut, but after a failed attempt to start a "Bad News" chant, Kofi counters a slingshot belly-to-back suplex, hits a couple kicks, and follows with a cross-body for two. Barrett comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two, and calls for the Bull Hammer. Kofi manages to get a schoolboy for two, then Barrett gets in too close, and ends up taking an awkward dropkick. They go outside, and after Kofi avoids a whip into the steps, Kofi haphazardly throws himself at Barrett, who counters with the Bull Hammer for the pin.
* They've had better matches.
-A video recaps the build for Bryan/Kane.
-Match 4: Bray Wyatt (w/Luke Harper & Erik Rowan) VS Sheamus
-Sheamus backs Wyatt into a corner, but Wyatt gets out, and slaps on a headlock. Sheamus escapes, but gets run over with a shoulderblock, and Wyatt takes a bow. Sheamus gets a headlock, then does the same to Wyatt when Wyatt breaks out. Sheamus scores with a back elbow, then a kneedrop off the second rope for one. Wyatt rolls outside, then Rowan & Harper step in from of him as Sheamus goes to follow up, then we go to break.
Back from break, Sheamus rolls Wyatt onto the apron, where they slug it out before Wyatt hits a DDT for two. Wyatt sends Sheamus into the buckles, then adds a kick to the chest for two. Sheamus fights out of a head-and-arm lock, but Wyatt cuts him off with a headbutt and a slam. Wyatt tries a senton, but Sheamus gets his knees up. Sheamus makes a comeback with a couple Irish Hammers, a kneelift, and a running knee in the corner. Wyatt, however, counters a tilt-a-whirl slam and hits a urinage for two. Sheamus comes right back with White Noise for two, followed by the Irish Hand Grenade and a slingshot shoulderblock for two.
Wyatt throws himself at Sheamus, hitting him in the chest, and that gets two. Wyatt ducks the Brogue Kick, but falls victim to the Irish Curse for two. Sheamus mocks Wyatt before calling for the Brogue Kick. Rowan provides a momentary distraction, but then Wyatt charges right into a powerslam for two. The crowd is getting seriously into this, chanting "This is Awesome". Sheamus stops to go after Harper & Rowan, allowing Wyatt to hit Sister Abigail for the pin. Surprised Wyatt needed help here, considering the directions these two are headed in, and the clean jobs Sheamus has done recently.
***1/4 Good, hard-fought match that slowly got the crowd more and more into it. Would have been higher had Sheamus has a higher-than-zero chance of winning.
-Heel beatdown follows until the Usos make the save. A staredown closes the show.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: The main event carries things this week. They could have dropped one of the middle matches and given Goldust/ADR more time, and this would have been a better show.
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