Extreme Rules 2014

-From East Rutherford, NJ

-Hosts are Cole, King, & JBL

-Pre-Show Match: El Torito (w/Los Matadores) VS Hornswoggle (w/3MB) [WeeLC}

-There are mini commentators, a mini ring announcer, and a mini ref. Someone is going WAY overboard to get on Vince's good side. Torito hits a flying headscissors, then a dive to take out 3MB. Hornswoggle tries a suicide dive, but hits the middle rope instead. Torito finds a mini-chair, and uses it to hit a headstand into a bronco buster. Jinder Mahal gets knocked into the ring, then takes an accidental headbutt to the nuts via Torito after Hornswoggle grabs Torito's tail. Hornswoggle gets a step ladder, but is afraid of heights, so it takes too long for him to jump, and he does so even after Torito invites him to. The mini-announcers are somehow even worse than the regular ones. We go to commercial. Mid match. On a PPV/Special Event.

Back from break, 3MB jump Los Matadores. During the break, Torito misses a dive off the barricade and crashes into the other side. Hornswoggle hits a "rolling blunder" with a chair on Torito's stomach. They go outside, where Hornswoggle slams Torito on the floor, then preps the mini announce table before splashing Torito through it with encouragement from Mahal. The crowd gets into it ironically, which gives it more heat than anything at a modern day RoH show. Hornswoggle accidentally hits Slater with a chair, and Slater takes an awful bump off the apron through a table. 3MB try to set something up on Torito, only to get cut off by Los Matadores, then Torito splashes Mahal & Los Matadores through a table covered by ladders. That's a ridiculous bump to be taking in a comedy match.

Speaking of stupid bumps, Hornswoggle gets Torito on a table on the outside, and McIntyre does a dive, crashing through the table when Torito moves. Torito finally ends things with a springboard sitdown splash, which puts Hornswoggle through a table for the pin.

NO RATING This was pretty surreal to watch, with the wrestlers killing themselves while the announce crew treat it like a joke. I have no idea what the point of this was.

-Match 1: RVD VS Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter) VS Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman) [Elimination Match]

-Heyman takes credit for the "Extreme Rules" concept before turning the crowd against him and introducing Cesaro, who gets a big pop anyway.

FIRST FALL: They take turns punching each other until Swagger & Cesaro hit a double back elbow. Cesaro hits Swagger with several uppercuts, but then Swagger gets a takedown for two. RVD monkey flips Cesaro right onto Swagger. RVD tries a cross-body, but Cesaro catches him, only to get kicked in the face by Swagger, who then covers Cesaro for two. Swagger hits RVD with several knees, but then gets backdropped to the floor. RVD follows that up with a sunset bomb on Cesaro, sending him off the apron to the floor. Swagger cuts RVD off with a big clothesline, and rolls him back inside before getting a near-fall. Swagger hits RVD with a wheelbarrow slam for two, then follows up with a Swagger Bomb for two. Cesaro gets the swing on Swagger, but RVD breaks it up with a spin kick that potatoes poor Cesaro right in the mouth.

RVD gets Cesaro in position for the Five Star Frog Splash, but Swagger runs the ropes and throws him before moving right into the Patriot Lock. Cesaro cuts that off with a springboard uppercut, and King momentarily forgets this is an elimination match. Swagger goes up, but gets cut off by Cesaro, who then hits a deadlift superplex, and RVD flies in out of nowhere with the frog splash for the pin. Cole gets confused for no reason, which in turn confuses King. Can't you guys pay attention?

SECOND FALL: Cesaro cuts off a back kick with an uppercut, then follows up with rolling gutwrench suplexes for two. RVD goes for his step-over kick, but Cesaro counters into a German suplex for two. I wonder how many neck injuries will happen before that move is banned again. They go outside, where Cesaro throws RVD into the barricade. Cesaro tries to walk the barricade, but gets kicked down, right in position for RVD's old apron spin kick, which draws an "ECW" chant. Cesaro rolls in the ring, right in position for Rolling Thunder for two. RVD adds a split-legged moonsault for two,

RVD grabs a garbage can, but Cesaro hits a baseball slide right into the can, knocking it into RVD. Cesaro goes for a can shot, but first gets caught with a rollup for two, then the Van Daminator. Frog splash hits can, and Cesaro finishes with the Neutralizer onto the can.

*** Fun opener, even if King & Cole forgot the rules. Would have been nice if RVD didn't feel the need to do his thumbs gimmick at every opportunity too.

-Daniel Bryan gets checked out by a doctor. Stephanie enters, and can't help overplaying her concern trolling by asking Bryan to surrender the title instead of getting killed by Kane. Bryan says he's walking out the champ, while Steph says he'll walk out Kane's bitch.

-Match 2: Alexander Rusev (w/Lana) VS R-Truth & Xavier Woods

-Lana gets some primo cheap heat by dedicating the match to Vladimir Putin. Rusev beats the shit out of both guys before the bell, and takes out Woods to leave it one-on-one. The crowd chants for Lana, and pops whenever she's on camera/the big screen. Truth manages to fight back and hit the Lie Detector (I REALLY hate that move) followed by a scissors kick for two, but gets caught looking to finish with the What's Up. Truth rolls out of a slam, but gets caught with a spinning heel kick, which draws some "ooohs" from the crowd, then Rusev finishes with his spinning slam and camel clutch.

*** Have to say I wasn't looking forward to this match going in (same with the triple threat), but I really liked how it played out. Makes Rusev look smart as well as powerful.

-Lana orders Rusev to CRUSH Woods, so he hits him with a pretty nasty fallaway slam on the floor. NOW he does something heelish when the feud is over (or should be over).

-Rene interviews Evolution. HHH says they have egos, but they're well-deserved.

-Match 3 for the Intercontinental Championship: Big E [c] VS Bad News Barrett

-Big E hits a shoulderblock, and Barrett takes a powder. Big E follows, and sends Barrett into the post. Barrett catches Big E with a couple kicks, then it's a BANG BANG elbow drop off the apron for two. Big E reverses a suplex, but runs into a back elbow. Barrett hits a tornado into a suplex for two, then slaps on a chinlock. Big E fights out, but runs into a cross-body for two. Barrett hits a big boot, and pounds Big E down before choking him in the ropes and adding some knees followed by another big boot.

Barrett sets Big E on the top rope, but takes time to showboat, allowing Big E time to recover and catch him with an overhead throw. Big E hits a belly-to-belly, then runs Barrett over. Barrett fights off a suplex from the apron into the ring, so Big E settles for a spear through the ropes instead. That gets two, then Barrett counters a big splash into the Winds of Change for two. Barrett avoids a charge in the corner, and hits Wasteland for two. Big E counters the Bull Hammer with a messed-up urinage for two, then hits a big splash. Big E calls for the Big Ending, but Barrett slides out. Big E ducks the Bull Hammer, then a flying version wins the title for Barrett.

**1/2 They worked hard and the finish was slick, but this didn't have a lick of heat. Maybe now we can have a second-tier champion that won't job all the time, unlike the last two times Barrett held the title.

-Adam Rose is still coming to Raw. That should be interesting.

-Match 4: Evolution VS The Shield

-Surprised this match is this early in the show. The Shield clear the ring to a big pop. HHH tries charging in as The Shield strategize, but gets caught with a punch by Rollins, and it settles into those two being legal. Rollins sends HHH outside and follows with a dive. Rollins rolls HHH back in and takes a shot at Orton, but that allows HHH to catch Rollins with a huge lariat to turn the tide. Rollins plays FIP, taking punishment from all three opponents. Rollins manages to hit a belly-to-back suplex on Orton, but HHH & Batista cheap shot Reigns & Ambrose to prevent a tag. Rollins hit a flying kick, and gets the tag to Ambrose moments later. Ambrose goes to town on Orton, stopping to blast Batista, then HHH. He almost gets a figure 4 on HHH then does get one on Orton, but HHH breaks that up. Reigns gets involved, and throws Batista into the barricade.

Reigns goes for a spear, but HHH moves and Reigns hits the steps. Now it's Ambrose's turn to play FIP, and the crowd chants "Boo-tista". Batista hits a short-arm clothesline for two, then tags in Orton. Orton hits a big clothesline for two, then HHH gets in to add some more punishment. Ambrose's "throw a punch at air as you fall down" spot is tremendous. HHH hits a spinebuster for two, then tags in Batista, who hits a flying back elbow (I've been waiting for that move to come back!) for two. Batista slaps on a chinlock as the crowd questions his wrestling ability. Ambrose fights out, but takes a big boot, and Batista tags HHH. HHH taunts Reigns & Rollins, but Ambrose blocks a Pedigree, and hits a big DDT.

Reigns gets the hot tag and cleans house. Rollins prevents a Batista Bomb on Reigns with a flying knee, and Reigns hits the Superman Punch. The Shield hit the Triple Powerbomb on Batista, but HHH saves. Rollins goes for a suicide dive, but he crashes and burns. HHH catches Reigns with the Pedigree. Ambrose takes HHH out of the picture, and Batista gets two. Orton hits Reigns with an RKO, but Rollins saves, and takes Orton (and a cameraman) out of the ring. Orton dumps Rollins into the timekeeper's section where HHH joins in the fight, then Ambrose sprints across both announce tables to save Rollins. Those four fight in the crowd as Reigns & Batista are still dead in the ring.

Orton & Ambrose fight it out as the crowd reacts to something that the camera misses. It appears to be something with HHH & Rollins, since they are both there. Whatever it was, it took Rollins out. Orton throws Ambrose down some steps, and HHH joins in to make it 2-on-1. Just when it looks like it's curtains for Ambrose, Rollins flies OFF THE BALCONY and wipes out both HHH & Orton. Back in the ring (yes there is an actual match still going on), Batista catches Reigns with a spinebuster. Batista goes for the Batista Bomb, but Reigns shoves him off, and hits a Superman Punch, followed by a spear for the pin.

****1/2 If this was any less than ****, it would have been a big disappointment. Fortunately, this was up to the Shield's PPV (not named WrestleMania) standards. I am so glad they changed their minds on splitting these guys up.

-The Shield celebrate their win. Reigns trying to carry Ambrose off the battlefield is awesome.

-Match 5: John Cena VS Bray Wyatt (w/Luke Harper & Erik Rowan) [Cage Match]

-Much less high-pitched support for Cena than usual, which actually plays really well into this feud. Some of the crowd do the "light up your cell phones and waive them" deal that RoH crowds used to do for Jimmy Jacobs. Bray whispers something into both Rowan's and Harper's ears before entering the cage. Cena gets a headlock, which for some reason signals to Cole that Cena is trying to end it early. Wyatt hits a shoulderblock, then a clubbing blow to the back after a Cena leap frog. Wyatt beats Cena down in the corner and tells him to "come on". Cena does so, hitting his shitty Fisherman's suplex. Cena tries to escape, but Harper & Rowan cut him off.

Wyatt goes to work as the customary dueling chants break out. Wyatt sends Cena flying into the cage, then tells Cena to apologize to his fans. Wyatt mashes Cena's face into the cage, then calls for Rowan to "crush him!", and Rowan throws himself against the cage to deliver a shot to Cena. Wyatt slugs Cena down for two then goes to leave via the door, but Cena cuts him off, and hits a catapult into the cage. Cena again climbs the cage and this time almost makes it all the way down, but Harper & Rowan cause him to hesitate, and that allows Wyatt to catch him.

Cena slugs Wyatt down from the top, but Wyatt charges into the ropes, which causes Cena to crotch himself. Wyatt dances with Cena before hitting a huge urinage for two. Cena almost gets the AA, but Wyatt fights out. Cena ducks a clothesline, and hits a dropkick. Cena starts climbing, then Bray spider walks towards the door, so Cena stops to cut Wyatt off. Wyatt hits his FAT GUT OUTTA CONTROL cross-body for two, then throws Cena into the cage. Cena comes back with his FIVE MOVES OF DOOM, but Wyatt grabs the cage to prevent an AA.

Cena hits a sit-out powerbomb instead for two, and calls for the door. Rowan closes the door and holds it, so Cena tries to force it open. He does so and gets one foot outside, so Harper gives his friend some help. Just when it looks like Cena might overpower them both. Wyatt blasts Cena from behind and hits...something for two after Harper & Rowan close the door on Cena. Cena avoids a senton and tries to escape, but Rowan maneuvers Cena onto Rowan's shoulders to force him back in. Cena hits Bray with a bulldog for two and tries to escape again. This time it's Harper who stops him. Cena pulls Harper in.

Cena climbs out as Wyatt makes for the door. Cena kicks the door into Wyatt's face, but Rowan grabs a chair and keeps Cena from hitting the floor. Wyatt hits a suplex into a toss, then a senton for two. Cena counters Sister Abigail into the STF. Wyatt crawls towards the door and uses the ropes to force Cena to break, so Cena pulls Wyatt back in. Cena avoids an interfering Harper, but Wyatt throws Cena into the cage. Wyatt tries to escape, but Cena grabs him, and hits an AA off the second turnbuckle. Wyatt is DONE, but Harper makes the save at two. Cena floors Harper with a big clothesline and climbs.

Rowan cuts Cena off, but Cena grabs his beard and rams his head into the cage, before hitting the flying famouser on Harper. Cena has it won, but then WYATT MAGIC summons a kid with a demonic singing voice, who distracts Cena long enough for Wyatt to recover, hit Sister Abigail, and leave the cage to win.

***1/2 Pretty sound psychology, with Cena being able to fight off all three Wyatts, which we've seen him do before, before falling victim to unforeseen tricks by Wyatt. I do think it's goofy that apparently Wyatt is supposed to be the "Man in Black" from LOST, and his escaping the cage is supposed to be akin to what would have happened if the MiB had escaped the Island.

-The Wyatts lead the kid by the hand to the back. I really hope he's one of their kids.

-The panel talk about what just happened.

-The announce team recap WeeLC.

-Match 6 for the Divas Championship: Paige [c] VS Tamina Snuka

-Paige beats Tamina down, and gets a slick schoolgirl for a one count. Paige gets a victory roll for one, followed by knees in the ropes. Paige goes up top, but Tamina slugs her down, and Paige crashes to the floor. Tamina works Paige over, then hits a big slam for two. She adds a couple more slams while trying to get the crowd to react (she fails) and a cover gets two. Paige fights back and they spill through the ropes. Paige goes for a rana off the apron, but Tamina blocks, and swings her into the barricade. That looked NASTY.

Tamina tries a superplex, but Paige counters into a sunset bomb for two (with the ref counting three). Paige hits a version of La Mistica for two, but then gets caught with a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Paige blocks a superkick, and finishes with the Scorpion Crosslock.

** They gave it the old college try, but getting stuck in the death spot never helps anyone's chances.

-The Wyatts celebrate Bray's win with Little Johnny. So THAT's who/what little Johnny is. The kid's distorted voice is goofy, but him putting on the lamb mask and staring into the camera is creepy enough.

-Match 7 for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Daniel Bryan [c] VS Kane [Extreme Rules Match]

-Bryan charges at Kane during Kane's entrance. It...does not go well. They get in the ring, and Bryan hits a super rana, followed by an IED and a cross-body that sends both of them to the outside. Kane scores with a big boot, and sends Bryan into the barricade. Kane hits a chair slam onto the barricade, but Bryan fights back with a kendo stick. Back in the ring, Kane counters a flying stick shot with an uppercut, then hits Bryan with a couple chairshots. Kane sets the chair up, then gives Bryan a sidewalk slam through it. Bryan avoids a chokeslam, then hits a drop toe hold that puts Kane's head into a chair that had been set up in the corner.

They go back outside, and Bryan takes apart both announce tables, stopping to hit Kane with whatever he can get his hands on. Kane manages to fire back and goes for a chokeslam off one table through another, but Bryan stops that, and hits a tornado DDT off the Spanish announce table. Bryan hits a couple kicks, but Kane simply grabs him by the head and sends him into the steps. Kane goes for a tombstone on the steps, but Bryan counters and sends Kane into the post.

Bryan grabs another kendo stick and wears Kane out. Kane puts a stop to that, and throws Bryan into the entrance set, shorting out a section of the lights. They go backstage to gorilla position, where Kane throws a flat screen TV at Bryan, who moves, causing the TV to go into a bucket of water and fuck with the electricity. They go further backstage and after Kane throws Bryan into one of the production trucks (Hey! There's Ezekial Jackson!), Bryan comes right back with a snow shovel. Bryan gets Kane onto the hood of a car and hits some mounted punches. Kane throws an air tank at Bryan but misses, shattering one car's windshield. Kane misses a punch and takes out a car window. Bryan gets a tire iron from that car and KO's Kane, before loading him onto a forklift and hitting more shots with the iron. Why can't he pin Kane back there?

Bryan drives the KO'd Kane back to the ring, then dumps him back inside before leading a "YES" chant and hitting a diving headbutt for two. Bryan goes for the running knee, but Kane counters into a chokeslam for two. Kane tries another chokeslam onto a chair, but Bryan counters into a DDT for two. Bryan chops Kane down with chairshots, then gets the Yes Lock. Kane tries using a kendo stick to break, but Bryan grabs it and uses it to help with the hold. Kane manages to slide out of the ring and break the hold. Bryan tries a suicide dive, but Kane catches him, and chokeslams him through the English announce table.

Kane pulls another table out from underneath the ring and sets it on fire, but Bryan throws him through it. Kane gets immediately doused with a fire extinguisher, and frantically runs into the ring, right into the running knee for the pin.

**1/2 This was OK, I guess. It struggled to keep my interest, even though I like the story that was told. I can see why they didn't give the flaming table spot more time to breathe, since the idea here seems to be that Kane is back to being an unstoppable monster, and that Bryan is good/fortunate enough to escape with the title.

-FINAL THOUGHTS: I liked this show for the most part. I LOVED Shield/Evolution, and liked Cena/Wyatt, although I can see why others won't. A better main event moves this show into "classic" territory, but it was not to be.