-Kurt Angle warns Spud & EC3 that if Spud backs out of their match tonight, Angle will come for EC3.
-TWO WEEKS AGO: Eric Young wins the world title. Then LAST WEEK he defends it against Abyss in a "Monster's Ball" match.
-Hosts are Tenay & Tazz
-A not-happy Magnus comes to the ring, with a turnbuckle piece in hand, and almost starts with "this is your champion speaking", but stops himself. He doesn't blame himself for his title loss, he blames Abyss for not helping him. Magnus calls out Abyss, and says he's a disappointment, and that's why everyone in his life abandons him. Magnus says he asked Abyss to do one thing: keep the world title on Magnus. Abyss responds that MVP said that if anyone interfered in the title match they'd be fired. Magnus points out that Abyss doesn't work for MVP or TNA, he works for Magnus. Well, worked for Magnus, since he's fired. Abyss says it was never about the money, it was about being Magnus' friend, but now he sees that Magnus is a dick in so many words). Abyss is ready to go back to hurting people, and he wants to start with Magnus. Magnus replies that Abyss is not a contracted wrestler and thus a civilian, so if Abyss touched Magnus, Abyss will be arrested.
This brings out MVP, who wants to give Abyss a second chance, in the form of a match against Magnus, and if Abyss wins, he gets a new TNA contract. After MVP skips away, Abyss tells Magnus that he never liked him, and tonight he's going to kick Magnus' ass.
-TONIGHT: Beer Money VS Bully Ray & Gunner
-NEXT: Spud gets killed by Angle.
-Spud doesn't want to hear any speeches from EC3. EC3 responds that the only man who can beat Angle is himself, and tonight he needs Spud to be a gazelle.
-Match 1: Kurt Angle VS Rockstar Spud (w/Ethan Carter III)
-Spud wants no part of this at all. Can't say I blame him. Spud tries for a single-leg, and gets thrown across the ring for it. Spud tries kicking at the bad knee next, but then runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Spud gets Kurt to chase him around the ring, and EC3 holds Angle's legs as he tries to slide back in, allowing Spud to hit a baseball slide, followed by a missile dropkick. Spud tries for a second missile dropkick, but Angle runs the ropes to hit a throw, then finishes with an anklelock.
**1/2 Enteraining enough squash, thanks mostly to Spud.
-EC3 clips Angle's bad knee, but Willow makes the save before more damage can be done.
-The Beautiful People promise to give Madison Rayne a makeover in an extremely badly-acted promo.
-Kenny King annoys MVP by lounging in MVP's office, so MVP gives King a match for tonight.
-Madison Rayne calls out the Beautiful People. The BP theorize that Madison looks tired because of her baby daughter. Madison goes on the attack, but that doesn't last long. Angelina says Madison was a nobody before she joined the BP, and that she was only allowed in to make the other members look better. Brittany fails to make the save, and the BP put a paper bag (with a pic of Angelina on it) over Madison's head.
-Mr. Anderson is in Samuel Shaw's hometown.
-Gail Kim wants to reform her team with Madison to face the BP. Madison accepts. Brittany wants to watch Madison's back, but she's good. Looks like they're setting up a Mickie/Trish situation there.
-Match 2: Kenny King VS ???
-Bobby Lashley is King's opponent. Remember when Lashley turned heel by saying he was too good for TNA, then promptly left the promotion? Good times. Lashley casually tosses King around, eating him up like a total jobber, because hey, who needs a credible heel in the X-Division? King manages to get a thumb in the eye followed by a springboard dropkick. King gets a headlock, then manages to slide out when Lashley tries to counter into a rack, but he then walks into a belly-to-belly suplex. Lashley fires back with punches and a clothesline before hitting a shoulderblock in the corner, followed by another throw.
King counters a spear and hits a kick to the head, but gets caught flying off the top right into a suplex. Well that was cool. Lashley goes for the spear again, but King rolls outside, and takes a walk for the count out.
*1/2 The catch into a suplex was nice, but this didn't do anything for King at all, and King is the one with a possible future, not Lashley.
-Mr. Anderson meets Samuel Shaw's mom Christy, who acts like a female version of him. He is understandably freaked out.
-James Storm & Robert Roode rehash old history.
-Match 3: Austin Aries VS MVP
-They go through a chain wrestling sequence that ends with Aries doing his usual counter to a headscissors. MVP comes back with a jawbuster and calls for the Ballin' Elbow, but Aries bails. MVP sends Aries back in, but Aries hits a running dropkick to MVP's knee, followed by a double axe off the top to the floor. Back in Aries hits a slingshot senton followed by a diving elbowdrop for two, followed by an elbow off the second rope for two. MVP avoids the IED, and goes to work with clotheslines in the corner.
MVP goes for...something, and Aries bites him to counter. MVP comes right back with a series of forearms, followed by a lariat for two. MVP goes Ballin', but Aries counters a waistlock with a back elbow, then hits a discus forearm to knock MVP for a loop. MVP counters a brainbuster and hits a release German suplex. MVP goes for the Drive By, but Aries blocks and hits his shinbreaker/teardrop suplex combo. Aries hits the IED for two, but misses the 450, and MVP hits the Drive By for the pin.
**3/4 Decent enough, but I'm not sure what this was meant to accomplish. This really should have been on PPV, and given PPV time.
-Another video profiles Sanada.
-Mr. Anderson gets some iced tea from Mrs. Shaw, who is also baking him his daily apple pie. Sam lives in the basement, despite having his own, very nice apartment when he was first introduced.
-Match 4: Beer Money VS Bully Ray & Gunner
-Match is JIP after a break, with Storm having Bully in a side headlock. Bully fights out, then casually takes control of both heels before tagging in Gunner. Storm manages to poke Gunner in the eye and tag Roode, who immediately cedes control back to Gunner, and Bully gets back in. Bully fights off both opponents again, until Storm manages to pull Bully down and crotch him on the post, before noting that Bully is fat.
Bully plays FIP for a while, before catching Roode with a sidewalk slam. Gunner gets the hot tag and cleans house, hitting a slingshot suplex on Storm for two, with Roode making the save. Bully & Gunner hit the WHAZZUP headbutt on Storm, with Gunner somehow managing to be even less graceful than D-Von. Bully tells Gunner to GET THE TABLES, but Bully is so fucking slow going to elbowdrop Storm through it, it gives Storm time to move, and Bully crashes through the table. Gunner hits Roode with an F5, but walks into a Last Call superkick from Storm for the pin.
**1/2 This was alright I guess, but it never found a second gear, which I'm becoming more-and-more convinced doesn't exist in TNA.
-Magnus plans to teach Abyss a lesson.
-Mr. Anderson sees Shaw's bedroom, which looks like it's meant for a small child. Shaw comes home, and the cameraman smartly bails as they fight. Shaw gives his mom a creepy hug as the segments end. I'll give them points for trying something different in the Shaw character at least.
-Match 5: The Beautiful People VS Gail Kim & Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne
-Madison works Velvet over, and the crowd is SILENT. The faces finally wake them up a little bit with some double team moves, then Madison uses a Skullfucker on Velvet for two. Gail gets in, and Velvet promptly almost moves too far away from her for a flying clothesline. Angelina makes a blind tag, and the BP take over for a bit. Gail fights back and sends them both to the floor. The BP take a walk, but the faces bring them back in short order. Gail gets Angelina in a headscissors, then tags Madison. Velvet manages to ram Gail into the apron to take her out. Madison spears Velvet, but Angelina gets a roll-up and the pin with a yank of the tights.
*1/2 Nothing terrible, but the crowd couldn't care less.
-Knux's carny girlfriend urges him to go back to TNA, this time with her going with him.
-Abyss repeats what he said earlier.
-The Wolves are coming for the tag titles. This would have been better without the needless and distracting "scary" editing.
-EY joins the announce team as it's finally announced that he's defending against Magnus at the PPV Sunday.
-Match 6: Magnus VS Abyss
-Abyss beats the crap out of Magnus to start, and tosses him out over the top as we go to break seconds in.
Back from break, Magnus is working the leg until he goes for a figure 4, and gets kicked away. He then tries to use the post, but Abyss counters that too. Abyss loads up a chokeslam, so Magnus kicks him in the nuts to draw a DQ.
1/2* Barely a match.
-Magnus grabs a chair and lays waste to Abyss, actually waking the crowd up and drawing some heel heat. The crowd chants for EY who tries to make the save, only to take a low blow and some chairshots from Magnus as well. Now, with the usual laws of wrestling booking, I'm not so sure Magnus is regaining the title on Sunday.
-FINAL THOUGHTS: I didn't care about the PPV before so I'm not sure it's possible for me to care less now, but this show did nothing to change my mind. TNA simply does not have many guys who are capable of having a memorable match anymore, having gotten rid of most of their longtime "originals". I still expect a Magnus title win, with a dumb Samoa Joe heel turn in the process. I really want a Spud fluke X-Division title win and a Honky Tonk Man-esque reign. He's awesome and it would give the "division" some focus.
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